The Wall Street Journal and CNBC are reporting that sweet little ‘ole Saab Automobile AB—one of the many motors that is General—has not one, not two, but twenty, count ’em twenty, suitors at the door. GM expects to part with the Swedish car-maker before the end of June. The Vanersborg district court has agreed to extend a period of protection from creditors in order to give it more time to restructure. No creditors objected so Saab now has until May 20 to find a new stranger on who’s kindness she can rely. Saab lost about $370M in 2008 and predicts similar luck this year. Court-appointed administrator Guy Lofalk said, in a court filling, “During the reorganization Saab plans to begin negotiations with creditors on writing down the company’s non-prioritized debts by about 75 percent.” With that, Saab expects a positive cash flow in 2011 on production of 150k cars. Of course, no one is naming any of the supposed twenty interested parties. The Swedish bureaucrat in charge of Saab, Joran Hagglund, said he believes Saab has three to five “serious” suitors. GM says these things need to be secret. So keep it under your hat, will ya?

Land Rover? Indian-owned manufacturer of four-wheeled global warming devices by appointment to the Queen? The very same. The BBC reports that Landie has scored a $400 million “loan” from the European Investment Bank (Banque Européenne d’Investissement). While you’re wondering where the EIB figures in the shadowy conspiracy to create a world government (under the aegis of the Rothschilds), let’s show Auntie Beeb a little love for their mastery of English as she is spoke.

Jaguar Land Rover said it could be a number of weeks before any cash was handed over. Sources at the company were more cautious, stressing that whilst they were confident the money will be approved, they did not want to assume it would.

So other than calling the payment a “loan” (boy does THAT sound familiar), how does the EIB justify running roughshod over World Trade Organization (WTO) prohibitions against government subsidies? Environmentalism, of course. Wait; Land Rover? Yes.
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Now that President Obama’s played a short clip of “Dr. Strangelove; or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love a GM Chapter 11” at his auto-related press conference, GM’s remaining stockholders have cottoned on to the inevitability of a GM Chapter 11. As TTAC’s Ken Elias predicted many moons ago, it’s only a question of time before the New York Stock Exchange de-lists GM. When Wagoner resigned and Obama opined, the zombie automaker’s share price began its final glide path. The stock plunged 25 percent on Monday and 28 percent on Tuesday. Yesterday, the price hit $1.58—before rebounding to $1.93, off 1 cent for the session. No surprise there. When the feds pull the plug, the stock will be worth precisely $0. The LA Times reveals the reason GM’s stocks are still publicly traded, by anyone. “Long-time GM shareholders may well figure there’s no point in selling now. If the stock becomes worthless, they can write it off for tax purposes at that point. Until then, it’s just a lottery ticket with extremely low odds of a payoff.”

The morning after U.S. new cars sales fell prey to the ides of March, ToMoCo’s MD sent General Motors a get well card. Yasuhiko Ichihashi told the AP that “Toyota was only hoping for an overall recovery for the U.S. auto industry, including GM.” Mr. Rising Tide Lifts All Boats (a.k.a. We’re All In This Together-san) said what’s bad for the U.S. auto business is bad for Toyota, as they share parts-makers. (A popular meme amongst the Bailout Buffet crowd.) What’s more, Ichihashi reckons GM’s collapse would depress “consumer sentiment.” GM’s filed for C11, I’m too bummed to buy a Toyota? Huh. Not mentioned: GM sets the floor for U.S. car prices and quality. If The General takes a powder, Toyota’s prices will fall, profits will sink and quality would have to rise. Honda had nothing to say about yesterday’s bloodletting, but previously, on “who wants to enlarge its U.S. market share,” HoMoCo president Takeo Fukui noted, “[it] has been a rare exception among Japanese auto executives in acknowledging publicly that weaker competition could in the long run present an advantage for Honda.” Ya think?

The New York Times is reporting a deal struck by the Treasury Department and Cerberus Capital Management which will lead to Chrysler’s second failed marriage in three years. Cerberus (and the co-investors it convinced to come along for the wild ride) will give up their 80.1 percent stake in the company. Anyone who thought Rick Wagoner got the bum’s rush at GM can now say, Wow. Obama’s kicking out the whole freakin’ parent company. Cerberus stands to lose billions. Just how many is tough to glean at the moment. Plans to shore up GMAC and Chrysler Financial—Cerberus’ other Detroit darlings—might help them turn some kind of profit in some kind of future. The dog would like to merge the two lenders into a new hybrid financial institution. The feds aren’t all that thrilled with the idea, but who knows. The word “hybrid” usually gets their attention.

I know, huh? And there I was thinking that easy credit and bad loans were a main contributory factor to our current economic doldrums (aren’t euphemisms grand?). But after the Fed changed its rules at the eleventh hour (behind closed doors) so that GMAC could avoid bankruptcy and become (of all things) a bank, after Uncle Sam pumped $6B worth of taxpayers’ money into the privately-held company’s coffers ($1B of which went straight to GM), the failed “bank” has reversed its reversal of its lax lending practices and opened the taps. “We want to do our part to support both the U.S. auto industry and individuals in the market for a car or truck,” said GMAC President Bill Muir, in a prepared statement. “GMAC now finances a broad spectrum of auto buyers, similar to traditional levels.”

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Honda announced March 31 that it would cut production in North American by 204,000 units, aiming their yearly output at 1.25 million. For the first time ever, Honda is also slashing salaries. Hourly employees and executives all the way to the top get a trim; and bonuses get bounced. Honda’s US sales dipped 7.9% in 2008 (compared to 2007) but the American market overall fell 18%. Honda wasn’t in terrible shape and seemed to have a good product mix. Then the first quarter spreadsheets began to fill in—a 33% drop in sales is a plunge of a different color. Carving will take place at all North American facilities.

You know how the endless parade of talking heads constantly bemoans the “freezing up” of global credit markets? They’re full of it. Credit markets are just fine. Just as long as you happen to be one of the world’s most profitable automakers. According to Bloomberg, Porsche Holdings has secured a €10B (with options to expand to €12B) refinance of a credit facility from a consortium of 15 banks including Barclays, Deutsche Bank, UBS and Credit Suisse. The refinancing was for cash borrowed by Porsche to buy its majority position in Volkswagen. Porsche is seeking another €2.5B in order to up its VW stake to the 75 percent level it needs to bring VW cashflow onto its books. And though lending to Europe’s largest automaker seems like a relatively safe investment for panicky banks, Porsche has been living by the sword from a financial standpoint. “The renewal of the credit line is a relief for short- term funding concerns,” says one Credit Suisse analyst who recommends that Porsche merely maintain its current investment in VW.

The FT has some valuable perspective on Chrysler owners, Cerberus, the private equity firm that accepted multiple billions in taxpayer “loans” yet refuses to list the automaker’s backers. Hey, does owner Steven Feinberg hold any paper personally? Anyway, Mr. F is nonplussed by the fact that Chrysler is now on federally-funded life support begging for more. “We always try to hang in—but not at the expense of being commercial. As far as GMAC and Chrysler are concerned, we will hang in there as long as it takes. There is the feeling of a greater calling.” When did running a once-proud American company into the ground become a sacred ceremony? Anyway, there’s only so much spiritual elevation an investor can take. Know what I mean? No? Make the jump.

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The dilemma: should the MSM and autoblogosphere highlight the fact that FoMoCo CEO Alan Mulally earned $13.6 million in 2008, a year where the automaker’s sales cratered and their profits evaporated, or should they focus on the fact that the number represents a 37 percent cut from his previous take-home? The Detroit News headline splits the difference: “Mulally’s pay cut; still gets $13.6M.” Maybe someone should point out that Big Al’s compensation was front-loaded; he banked $28.2M in the first four months of his employ. OK, now, Mulally’s 2008 pay and financial future isn’t quite as . . . bounteous these days.

Most of that — $8.7 million — represents stock options that are worthless at the current share price. The automaker said Mulally has yet to receive any stock options that he could cash. Ford said it will reduce Mulally’s salary by another 30 percent for 2009 and 2010, and eliminate merit pay increases and bonuses for U.S. salaried workers because of the challenges facing the company and the auto industry.

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There’s only one thing worse than realizing you’re a cynical bastard: realizing you’re a cynical bastard and the world really IS that corrupt. Oh well. The truth hurts, both giving and receiving. In this case, I had high hopes for the Tata Nano. As the son of a Romanian immigrant for whom car ownership was proof positive that America is the world’s greatest country, I believe that the motorization of the world’s largest democracy would unleash that nation’s creativity, productivity and prosperity. But when Tata “launched” the Nano two days ago, without a factory to produce it, I smelled a rat[tan]. The next day, there it was: Tata’s in not-so “secret negotiations” for a billion dollar UK bailout for their ill-advised—not to say hubristic—purchase of Jaguar and Land Rover. So, there’s your timing then. Oh, and the announcement on Autobloggreen this morning that the NSFA (Not Safe For America) Tata will export the micro-car to America (with a few mods, ’natch) in 2011 or 2012 (or 2020) is not to be taken seriously. The argument that Tata’s pie-in-the-sky promise to do the same for Europe actually weakens the case, not strengthens it. Or maybe that’s just me being cynical again. One can only hope.

Dagens Industri has published a letter from Saab’s union bosses which accuses GM of playing silly buggers with the brand’s accounts. As Saabs United says, “The report tends to support the idea that GM are handy at shuffling results around to suit their reporting needs.” [Thanks for the TTAC translation to commentator Naser Rouholamin]

Recently, the future of SAAB has been the subject of many allegations and much debate. Specifically we are thinking about such claims as “using tax money for playing monopoly”, or “SAAB has always made a loss, hence there is no point in saving it now”.

In order to rebuke the latter claim one must realise that not even GM would have kept Saab afloat the last 20 years from pure goodwill.

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Daimler has announced that it will raise $2.67 billion to fund future operations, reports Automotive News [sub]. But since we know that the BMW share swap has been nixed by the Quandts, how is Daimler coming up with the cash? By snaffling Opel’s cash from the German government? Or perhaps by jumping on the DC bailout express? No, Daimler followed the real money back to the Persian Gulf. Abu Dhabi’s Aabar Investments (owned by the state-run International Petroleum Investment Company) will buy a 9.1 percent stake in the German firm. After all, when you’ve repeatedly been fined for violating CAFE standards, you go to the oil wells, not the halls of government for your cash injection. The Emirate of Kuwait had already owned a 7.6 percent stake in Daimler, an investment that has been diluted to 6.9 percent by Aabar’s investment. But according to the analysts, Daimler had little choice but to take Aabar’s cash.

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The Wall Street Journal reports that the concord between Italy’s Fiat and China’s Chery has fallen apart, a victim of the global auto industry meltdown. Chery spokesman Jin Yibo was not in a word-mincing mood. “The global situation is totally different from before. We have had to adjust our strategy accordingly . . . It definitely won’t happen this year.” Hey! Isn’t that the same Chery that had signed a highly-touted deal to produce a small car for Chrysler? (That was then going to be built by Nissan?) Yup. So, Chrysler can’t work with Chery to bring cars to the US. Fiat can’t work with Chery to build cars in China. But Chrysler can work with Fiat to build Fiats in the US. Makes sense. But then I’m pretending to be a Chrysler executive or a member of the Presidential Task Force on Autos (PTFOA). And while we’re on that subject, next week the PTFOA will begin floating trial balloons advertising the next seating at the multi-billion dollar bailout buffet. So a quick refresher on the bureaucrats that constitute the august body in whose hands Chrysler and GM’s fate rests. [NB: Steve Rattner joined Ron Bloom after the commission was formed.]

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There’s a lot of talk about Cerberus’ favorite automotive and sub-prime housing lender—sorry “bank” relocating to Charlotte, North Carolina, where CEO Al de Molina hangs his hat and, presumably, shelters a chunk of his $11.6M annual compensation. Hey, see it from Big Al’s perspective: Congress’ desire to kill the corporate jet market in the name of populism means GMAC’s main man can’t commute to Motown in a Gulfstream anymore. Or see it from Charlotte’s perspective: they’re happy to lure the $6 billion federal bailout queen with a $4.49M grant. WHAT? Not even a “loan”? Wow. Desperate times, eh? Anyway, Detroit’s loss could be your gain. Here’s how [via WCNC.com]:

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