Yesterday, we took Autobloggreen (ABG) to task for running a thinly-veiled pimpatorial for the new Mercedes-Benz GL320 BlueTec. Their post was disguised as a celebrity trend piece, supposedly informing eco-readers that Hollywood eco-warriors were exchanging their Priora for an equally PC Mercedes-Benz GL320 BlueTec diesel. We so busted them, from the manufacturer’s plates on the carefully-posed cheesecake shot’s whip, to the fact that ABG printed the entire MB press release verbatim. And now, surprise! They’re reviewing the Mercedes-Benz GL320 BlueTec. And do they like it? What do you think? But there is humor here, to be sure. “The garish graphics on the GM hybrid SUVs scream out to the world, ‘look I bought a hybrid! even though I’m still driving alone in an a 6,000 lb, seven passenger SUV!’ The Mercedes, on the other hand, only has discreet BlueTec badges on the front fenders and the tailgate. Aside from that and the GL320 badge, there is no other indication that this vehicle can get mileage in the mid-20s.” Whoa! Mid-20s? In an SUV? ABG’s planet saving mission is go! With 11k worth of options, no less…

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Marketing Daily (but never on Sundays) reports on a new survey of car drivers’ feelings about their whips, vis a vis self-image. “In its online survey, Mintel asked consumers: ‘How do you feel when you are driving?’ and gave them 19 choices for a response. Three of the top four feelings chosen by respondents had to do with utility and security, per the firm, with 46% saying they felt ‘responsible’; 40% saying ‘safe’; and 37% saying they felt ‘practical….’ Mintel says that near the bottom of the list landed emotions like ‘powerful,’ ‘fast,’ and ‘sexy.’ The bottom of the list was ‘rich…’ Mintel found that 60% of survey respondents believe the main purpose of a vehicle is to get from point A to point B, and 55% say the true value of a car or truck is how long it lasts. Only 13% say they want their vehicle to catch other people’s attention.” Surprisingly, Marketing Daily sees this as a condemnation of car ads that use sex and speed to sell cars, ignoring aspiration. And the fact that no one in their right mind is going to say they bought a car to feel powerful or sexy– even if they did.

The Mustang Blue fragrance is the definition of confident, sexy and powerful for the Mustang man. Fresh, aquatic ingredients infused with sage, basil and sandalwood combine to make a clean, clear and compelling fragrance. Mustang Blue evokes a desire for adventure, which makes this fragrance the perfect blue sensation.

“These cufflinks feature a beautiful little 20mm long sculpture of the Type 35 which, being in the art metal’s essence of form house style, displays no more fine detail to readily demonstrate the beautiful aerodynamic lines of the 1924 Bugatti Type 35. The miniature sculptures are cast in EX-T35 bronze and patinated to take on the dark brown color associated with true art bronzes. The sculpture is then mounted upon a stylized T-35 radiator shaped back plate, the latter plus cufflink arm being cast in solid EX-T35 solid aluminum. A limited edition of 350 cufflinks. Each piece is engraved with its limited edition number and accompanied by a certificate of authenticity.”

“The caravan bound from Detroit to Washington, D.C., to support federal bridge loans [a.k.a. bailout] for Detroit’s Big Three automakers will take the information superhighway instead of the interstate… Grand plans of an automotive cavalcade to the nation’s Capitol grew to the point of impossible once the idea was floated last week by a number of influential people in Detroit.” And so The Detroit News pronounces the T.O.D. for the Caravan of Love. “The outpouring of support was huge,” said Jason Vines, Compuware Corp.’s vice president, TTAC podcaster and former chief spokesman for Chrysler LLC. “We’ve changed this into a virtual march, in part because we didn’t want to become targets for environmental groups or others.” Whoa! Hold on there. First, GM CEO Rick Wagoner can’t drive to DC with his $25b bailout bowl because of “security concerns.” Now the Caravan of Love is bummed-out by possible bad vibes from whacko tree huggers? Talk about a bad trip! So… now what? The bridge builders are launching a site called TheEngineofDemocracy.com. “There, people can share their stories about how the auto industry impacts their lives.” Customers too?

We’ve already reported Nissan’s decision to take a powder from the hugely expensive business of cock-walking at Cobo. As the Brits would say, the other shoe has dropped. Honda has announced that it will announce bupkis at this January’s North American International Auto Show. It’ll show show-goers what it’s got– and that’s it. Bloomberg reports the reason: “The Asian brands are mired in the industrywide slump that cut U.S. auto sales by 15 percent through October. U.S. automakers led by General Motors Corp. are seeking $25 billion in federal loans to help stave off a financial collapse.” Cutbacks fer sure, but the missing message is clear enough: Detroit’s auto show is fading fast. The fact that unions have driven-up the cost of the show is one show-collapse-related irony. Toyota’s decision to stay the course and unveil new models is another.

When Ferrari, Porsche, Mitsubishi, Suzuki, Rolls Royce and Land Rover withdrew from the Detroit Auto Show, well, who cares? Niche manufacturers all. But now that Nissan has announced that it’s pulled the plug on the North American International Auto Show, it’s the middle of the beginning of the end for the show. MSNBC carries the story, reporting that the Japanese automaker’s official statement on the non-matter. “Based on the fact that we have no major new products to show at the 2009 Detroit and Chicago auto shows, as well as the current economic conditions which will impact the shows’ marketing effectiveness, we have decided to cancel our involvement and participation.” Wow! Both their involvement AND their participation? That’s some serious you-know-what. MSNBC rubs salt into the wound, bringing-up the inconvenient truth that Nissan unveiled the Cube at the LA Auto Show.(forgetting to mention the 370Z U.S. debut). The bigger picture: Detroit is no longer the center of the automotive universe.

Students of the automotive industry know that manufacturers are on a five-year timeline. You spend a few bil updating your gas-guzzling SUVs a couple of years before Hurricane Katrina and BAM! Rising gas prices send sales to the Mariana Trench. Such is life. Such is evolution. Of course, there is a bit of wiggle room: sales and marketing. You can “re-position” a product to suit the temper of the times. Then again, that’s a bad idea. One of the Immutable Laws of Branding: don’t change your core brand message. Ever. (Ultimate Drive that, Buick.) Conversely, it’s never a good sign when a car’s advertising doesn’t change to reflect current reality. It’s a sure indication of stifling bureaucratic sloth. Now that gas prices have tumbled, and then tumbled again, and then tumbled some more, any manufacturer selling a vehicle based on gas prices is so far behind the curve they make the Great Plains look like a roller coaster. Don’t get me wrong. I like Suzuki’s products. But this ad for the Grand Vitara was stillborn. Just let it go Suzi, let it go.

Poor Mark LaNeve. It’s bad enough that he’s gonna be fired soon for having overseen some of the worst sales declines in GM history, including a 45 percent plummet last month. Now, those twisted bastards over at Toyota won’t even let him enjoy a freaking football game without publicly humiliating and annoying him with those damned “saved by zero” ads. Luckily, LaNeve always has a sympathetic ear over at the Detroit News. Or six. No fewer than three scribes get credit for giving voice to LaNeve’s tortured soul in a terse paragraph that tugs at the funnybone heartstrings. “I’m a football fan,” LaNeve told DetN during the weekly GM sales call. “I saw (“saved by zero” ads) 52,000 times,” he reportedly “moaned” of his Sunday otherwise well spent. Well, I guess you gotta say something during those sales calls. Y’know, once you get past the “we’re down 45 percent” bit. (Warning, Video NSFS (Not Safe For Sanity))

Kia’s booth at SEMA was quiet and empty compared to the Genesis-fest at sister firm Hyundai’s space. But fewer fans meant a chance for a closer look at several near-production concepts that point the way forward for the “other” Korean budget automaker. And though Hyundai seems to have Lexus in its crosshairs, Kia appears to be gunning directly after another Toyota’s Scion. First up, Kia’s Soul Burner concept looks like a (not quite production-ready) alternative to Scion’s xD. Strip away the flame-tread show tires, and a few other tuner-show fripperies, and it’s a practical, flexible, stylish little hatch. The styling doesn’t exactly put the “b” in subtle, but it’s a reasonable compromise between practicality and urban chic. Fit-and-finish clearly needs some work (paint bubbles on a show car?). But a cheaper, better-looking (in the eyes of this beholder) xD should have Toyota sweating more than a little. Kia’s Koup Concept has an equally laserlike-focus on stealing sales from the Scion tC. The stylishly unisex Koup sports clean lines, sharp-looking head- and tail lights, and a surprising impression of quality compared to the Soul Burner. Slap a Honda badge on the Koup and you might think it was the next Civic Si. Put it next to a tC with no badges at all, and you might have a hard time guessing which came from the world’s most successful automaker.