Peter M. De Lorenzo, the self-styled AutoExtremist, seems to have calmed down a notch or two in recent weeks. Sweet Pete is back to taking well-aimed rifle shots at the industry’s soft spots. This week, he takes on J.D. Power and Associates. As SP points out, few consumers realize that J.D. Power is a for-profit marketing/research/data mill firm dedicated to raking in the bucks by any means possible. “Their latest money-making brainstorm? Something called the ‘Vehicle Launch Index.'” Using a bunch of pseudo-scientific statistical mumbo-jumbo, J.D. Power says they will be able to measure the effectiveness of new model launch campaigns AND tell the auto makers how to do it better. Peter doesn’t miss a step when he says: “J.D. Power has honed its brazen formula of Unmitigated Gall + Unmitigated Bullshit = Huge Wads of Cash exceedingly well over the years, and too often the auto industry blindly catered to Power with little rhyme or reason other than the fact that they were afraid what would happen if theydidn’t bow down to them.
Now that Csaba Csere has left Car and Driver– hang on. Has he left? I forgot that buff books have a two month lead time. Two months? Can you imagine TTAC (or anyone else) trying to write anything even remotely relevant about automobiles two months in advance? Anyway, now that Csere has left C and D, nothing. No change. Seriously. I could summarize this supercar comparo without reading it. Here goes. Viper – fast, rough, dangerous. Mercedes – heavy, expensive, OMG thrust, handles better than it should. ZR1 – Shitty interior but mind-blowing fun. Such a deal. Lambo – Insane! Let’s have a look. Yup. Nailed it. OK, I thought the Lambo would win. But who cares? Does the fact that I find these articles interminable mean that I’m finally entering the “get off my lawn” phase of my life? In any case, can Car and Driver please stop all that “don’t hate us for loving fast cars” crap? In fact, I’m beginning to do just that– if not for the reasons they suggest. I swear I’ve been reading the “we heart dinosaurs” routine for twenty years now. Enough.
I find the whole “TTAC is pro-Toyota” meme a little strange. Have a look at our coverage of their greenwashing or our reviews of their automobiles (including our excoriation of various Scion). Yes, The Big 2.8 get ten times the coverage afforded the transplants. But we’re an American-based website, and the Motown meltdown is the biggest story in the history of American automaking. Yes, our Bertel Schmitt recently wrote a compare and contrast blog, pointing out the differences between Toyota’s response to the auto industry meltdown with GM’s. But it’s the truth dammit, and that’s the business we’re in. Feel free to discuss TTAC’s “perception gap” below. Meanwhile, I want to point out that Autoblog’s recent “discovery” [via their BFF at AutoLine] that Toyota has “only” $18.5b worth of cash, supposedly placing them in the same boat as, say, GM, is wildly disingenuous.
TTAC’s posting policy is clear, and clearly stated (above the posting box): no flaming the website, its authors or fellow commentators. I’ve explained the policy many times; it’s not about promoting a particular point-of-view. It’s about maintaining sufficient civility to engender honest, informed and passionate debate. Scartooth’s comments may have been a bit short on the informed side of the equation, but they represented a perspective which he has a right to hold and share. A perspective that gives us insight into the opinions of an increasingly bewildered and vocal segment of the U.S. population. That said, when Scartooth stepped over the line with a couple of racial slurs (which we don’t allow as a matter of course), he was warned. When Scartooth dissed his fellow commentators (who dares trip trap across this bridge?), he was banned. I am not delighted with his departure. Nor am I happy about some of the responses to his comments– since deleted. But I will defend TTAC’s comments section with vigilance and discipline. Feel free to discuss our posting policy below, but know this: I’d sooner cut off comments altogether than allow outside contributions to descend into meaningless name-calling.
Just like the industry we cover, The Truth About Cars is hunkering down for the duration. To that end, we’ve ended our contract with Michael Karesh’s TrueDelta vehicle pricing and specification website. TTAC will no longer link directly to Michael’s site from our reviews. We’ve removed TD’s price comparison widget. And we’ve deleted the “pricing” option from our top menu bar. We thank Michael for the breadth, quality and utility of his data, and recognize the hard work he puts into its creation. We wish him good luck during this economically challenging time, and ask that our Best and Brightest recommend his site to anyone shopping for a car or searching for vehicle reliability information. Thankfully, Michael will still contribute reviews and commentary to the site. He is a valued part of TTAC’s editorial voice. Rest assured, that voice will not be quelled. The truth will out. Meanwhile, thank you for your ongoing support for our writers and advertisers.
And yes, as with TTAC’s Ten Worst, Detroit gets it between the eyes. From the Aveo (“if Fiesta is the iPhone of ‘minis, Aveo is a pair of polystyrene cups and a shoelace”) to the Sebring (“so bad, even the man at Hertz will wince apologetically as he hands you the keys”), to the Jeep Compass (“winner of the Not Going Down Fighting Award). But thanks to the wild diversity of the UK market, there’s plenty more to chuckle about. Asian oddities like the Ssangyong Rodius (“like the result of a genetic experiment by a blind, fingerless, sadistic scientist”) and the walking dead Nanjing/SAIC/MG F roadster (“it costs £16.5k. A last-gen TF can be had for £4k. Do they think we’re stupid?”). And weird Euro models like the 2CV tribute Citroen C3 Pluriel Charleston, the Mercedes CLC and the practical-to-the-point-of-horror Fiat Qubo. Bloated plutcratmobiles like the BMW X6 and Maybach Landaulet arelauded for representing rude hand gestures to “the environment, poor people and practicality.” Check out Top Gear’s Foreman blog for the full treatment, served up with trademark British acid wit. Meanwhile, the “iPhone of ‘minis” has won What Car?’s Car Of The Year award. The UK car buyers guide calls Ford’s Fiesta “the most complete small car we’ve ever tested.”
Top Gear’s ironic contention that their mystery test driver is actually Graham Hill cocks a snook (don’t ask) at the MSM, who’ve gone nuts over recent revelations of “The Stig’s” true identity. I’m a huge fan of HIll’s life and times. His death was a tragedy for his family, his fans and motor racing. Call me a curmudgeonly carmudgeon (“Get off my internet!”), but I don’t find this Top Gear communique even slightly humorous: “The identity of the hit TV show’s famous wheelman will come as a shock to the dozens of petrolheads worldwide who had speculated that the man in the white suit was GP World Champion Damon Hill. ‘To find out that it’s actually his dad will come as a shock,’ said a man yesterday… In an alleged plot believed to have cost the licence payer millions of pounds, BBC bosses apparently helped Graham Hill fake his own death in a plane crash… So they approached Graham Hill, whose professional driving career was over at that point, and asked him to crash a plane and then hide in a bush until he got the call from the Top Gear team 20 odd years later.” The whole thing is a storm in a teacup, obviously, but this just isn’t my cup of tea.
“We now have a special bond with the American public,” said a certain Mr James E. Press of the Chrysler Motor Company at the Detroit Auto Show. Specifically, Mr Press’s firm owes American taxpayers $5.5b (including Chrysler financial aid) and have no real way of paying it back. But Chrysler’s gonna make it worth our while anyway; they’re gonna give Americans what they want. Wait, what do we want again? High-quality, practical, efficient, fun cars that hold their value? Hell no! We want the fourth installment of an aging action franchise to feature the cars and trucks of The New Chrysler! And boy are we gonna get that! Automotive News [sub] reports that Chrysler will give the makers of “Terminator: Salvation” an undisclosed amount of your tax money to feature their top-notch products alongside a certain Mr Christian Bale. Why? “We have a following with the Terminator movies and we are going to continue with that,” gushes a ChryCo media flack. Because things have been going so swell up to now? Because if Bale can save the Batman and Terminator franchises, you’ll make him CEO? Because you think machines will end the world before the American people get around to asking what you’ve done with their money?
Why does The Detroit News scribe Scott Burgess feel the need to diss environmentalists to praise a gas guzzler? Defensive much? All the time. In this case, Scott uses a Cadillac Escalade Hybrid to launch the usual condescension cruise missiles on tree huggers. “When the word ‘hybrid’ is scrawled across the front, back and sides of this big SUV… It creates a moral dilemma even Dr. Laura may not be able to solve as well as a jagged little pill for 40mpg.org to swallow. Can an American have a vehicle with room for eight but be environmentally sensitive? Could the crest and wreath really create the Cadillac of hybrids? Apparently so. The new Escalade hybrid offers prestige, power and just enough greenness to annoy environmentalists. Naturally, I love it.” And I love that “room for eight” thing. As if the fact that all those empty seats in the blinged-out Yukatoahoeburbalade make it somehow more environmentally friendly like, say, a minivan.
“With its sophisticatedly produced light metal wheels, AEZ targets an equally demanding and style-conscious clientele. An image, which is not just underlined in the new 38-page 2009 alloy catalogue by the high-quality product range, but also by the stylish model Caroline from Austria. For a whole week the photographer trekked with the stylish Viennese through the salines of Es Trenc in Mallorca for the shooting of the brochure. There she posed in the company of classy automobiles with partners made of cool aluminium that had exotic sounding names such as Lascar, Tidore dark or Tacana. In the resulting scenes, shot against natural backdrops, Caroline impressively showed that neither the industry-standard bare breasts nor promiscuous poses are needed to create a sexy aura.”
Have you ever opened a real estate magazine and read “House prices suck. They’re going to get worse. Stay away from real estate”? Obviously not. It’s a perspective problem shared by the American automotive press, whose Panglossian reviews rankle anyone who wants the truth about cars. Yada, yada, yada. Advertising. Unfortunately, the non-critical kudzu is starting to spread. We’ve already blogged the Motown-friendly press’ straw-grasping predictions for a sales recovery. I’d kinda assumed they’d pipe down after December’s debacle. Sigh. “Despite doomsday auto sales forecasts for 2009, promising signs continue to emerge about early January sales in the United States and their potential for growth.” The Detroit Free Press isn’t free, and this is not what I call the press. “Pent-up demand for new vehicles grew to 820,000 new cars and trucks last year, as consumers continued to wait out the dismal economic environment before making a new purchase, according to a report released Monday by CNW Marketing Research. That’s nearly four times as high as pent-up demand was in 2007, CNW said, and the research firm predicted that ‘the bulk of those postponements are slated to return to market in 2009.'” And now, a reality check…
Farley was first. Last week, Ford’s marketing maven threw down for The Blue Oval Boyz, declaring Crazy Henry’s mob’s would grab a bigger slice of the new car pie. Now Ed Peper’s prognosticating a more prodigious piece of America’s deflated new car market. Chevy’s brand Veep stepped up to the microphone at the Automotive News World Congress (our invitation got trapped by the spam filter) and told the world– well, Detroit– that the bow tie brand is ascendant. “We gained six-tenths of a point of (retail) market share last year,” Eddy declared. “This was the second-highest year-over-year share gain among all car brands, behind only Honda.” Hang on; what’s this then? “Chevrolet’s 2008 total market share was 13.5 percent, down from 13.9 percent in 2007, according to the Automotive News Data Center. Toyota Division overtook Chevrolet as the top-selling brand in 2008, rising to 13.9 percent from 13.4 percent in 2007.” Hmmm. Anyway, you’ll never guess how Chevy will steal sales from its rivals. Government checks for buyers? Well, not directly. (Just kidding. Sort of.) Nope. Marketing!
Would you believe it that the good folks at Americas buff books make mistakes every once in a while? Well, Car And Driver has decided to air the American motor press’s ten biggest bloopers in a blog post entitled Dishonorable Mention. “We’re not the only publication to recognize a few stinkers with its highest honor. The history of automotive journalism has seen flaming piles of poo named ‘Car of the Year’ even as they attract product liability lawsuits by the acre-foot and hunks of crud honored as “All-Stars” at the very moment buyers are seeking reimbursement under lemon laws,” write C&D’s editors. “It’s always a risk making judgments based on the initial exposure to a car, and sometimes a vehicle’s ultimate crappiness only reveals itself with the fullness of time. We’re all subject to hype for something that seems new, different, and maybe even better, and in this business, we all feel the crushing pressure to be timely, amusing, and authoritative. Being wrong is always a risk. Still, here are ten award winners for which somebody needs to apologize.”
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