The New York Times reports that President Bush has revealed his bailout plans for GM and Chrysler. The Gray Lady says the loans “include roughly the identical requirements in that bill, which had been approved by the House.” More specifically [via Bloomberg]: “Under the terms of the plan, if the companies can’t demonstrate financial viability by March 31 the loans will be called and the money must be returned… The government’s debt would have priority over any other debts. In exchange for the money, the automakers must provide warrants for non-voting stock, accept limits on executive pay, give the government access to financial records and not issue dividends until the debt is repaid. The government will have the authority to block transactions larger than $100 million. The automakers much cut their debt by two thirds in an equity exchange, make half of the payments to a union retirement fund in equity, eliminate a program that pays union workers when they don’t have work and have union costs and rules competitive with foreign automakers by Dec. 31, 2009. The requirements could be modified by negotiations with the union and debt holders.” The bottom line…
Category: Media
There has been a lot of speculation why the Chinese have such a hard time exporting meaningful numbers of cars. The Chinese government even has a 7 point program to boost exports – under review. Allow me to add an eighth point to the program – after all, 8 is a lucky number in China: Find someone who writes serviceable tag-lines, in English. “Unlimited Almightyness” (a tagline for the Great Wall Hover CUV) just won’t do, unless you are advertising the pope mobile. For a free review of your taglines, give me a call. New lines at a slight extra charge.
We hear via Jalopnik that Car and Driver Editor-in-Chief Csaba Csere has resigned. No word is immediately available on his reasons for departing the magazine he has served since joining as Technical Editor in 1980. Former TTAC and C&D scribe Brock Yates was unaware that his former boss was departing, but had only kind words for the man who once trekked to the Yates family kitchen to fire him. “A nice fellow,” is how Yates describes Csere. Csaba was “not a particularly good writer, but a good editor,” Yates told me this morning, as I was awaiting a shellacking for identifying myself as part of the TTAC team. He had “strong ties to Detroit,” according to the Cannonball legend, but was a “nice fellow” all the same. Apparently it bore repeating. So what if, as Yates wrote in his first TTAC editorial, “Car and Driver had become a pale shadow of its former self,” and “like Detroit’s carmakers, Csere and his team had refused to recognize reality.” When all is said and done, people remember people. Not a debilitating addiction to comparo tests, a blindering enthusiasm for all things Detroit, or an embarassing public nap. No, regardless of any perceived shortcomings (and man, do we all have them) Csere is a giant figure in American automotive journalism. If nearly 30 years of high-profile print journalism happen to have left Csere with the urge to express his feelings on the industry in a more open, free-wheeling environment, we invite him to send his thoughts our way. We will always have room for an experienced industry-watcher with a mind for truth-telling.
Jonny Lieberman just belled me from Spring Mountain Motorsports Ranch outside of Sin City. JL’s flogging the new 370Z on Nissan’s nickel, putting the transplant’s smaller, faster coupe through the corners on our behalf (quel sacrifice!). The TTAC scribe will be scribing his review soon, but initial impressions are… good. “It’s a good car,” Jonny told me with uncharacteristic reserve. “Neutral. Nice.” Tell me more, tell me more, did the synchro revs match? “Around town, it’s fine. But let’s say you’re charging down a straight in third gear, at about 7000 rpm. Red line’s at 7500 rpm, right?” “Right!” So you’re braking hard and you want a lower gear. As it shifts, the tranny blips the throttle. That sucks.” “Yeah I hate it when that happens.” Anyway, even though JL believes Nissan’s assertion that their updated roadster is as fast around a track as Porsche’s hardtop two-seater, a Cayman killer the new Z ain’t. “It’s probably more aimed at the Mustang GT. Against that it’s a Hell of a lot more neutral in the corners.” Safe! Not that Mr. L has that at the top of his priority list. What does linger there will soon be revealed….
Topgear.com/us/blog reports that NBC has decided not to add the U.S. version of the British car show to their prime time line-up. Well, to any part of their lineup. “We have a scoop on the much-anticipated U.S. version of ‘Top Gear’: BBC has decided to take the show to cable, where presenters’ funny mouths, from which often spill foul words, will be more at home. There are no hard feelings and NBC will be sharing custody of ‘Top Gear’ dog. A number of cable networks were delighted with the news… watch this space.” Yeah right. NBC killed it– I mean the BBC “moved it” to cable because of swear words which, as everyone knows, can’t be deleted or bleeped and would cause NBC’s twenty-four prime time viewers to change channels. And the presenters couldn’t be happier with all this. In any case, given Top Gear US’s phenomenal, NBC-funded budget, we’re looking at one of two possibilities. First, Top Gear US will air on cable, and then die. Second, it will air on cable, and then live– as a MUCH smaller-budget program. And then die. Meanwhile, the mess is so bad, the Top Gear blog is distancing itself from the wreckage. “This gives us an opportunity to clear up some of the confusion regarding why TopGear.com is here. Lots of people, judging from comments and discussions in the forums, think we’re the support website for an American ‘Top Gear’ television show. We’re not. Heck, we couldn’t even discuss a pilot that was allegedly filmed at some point last summer somewhere much warmer than the frigid climes that surround our office in New York.” If you think it’s cold now…
The meltdown of America’s automakers has frayed its fair share of nerves in the autoblogosphere lately. Which is fairly understandable. Folks who used to get paid for online automotive PDAs are now being forced to confront the fact that their advertisers beloved domestic firms have been failing for years and are desperately trying to survive on federal handouts. And this isn’t easy. From Autoblog’s Comic Life captions (must. not. dignify. with. snark.) to Jalopnik’s ongoing “Carpocalypse Now” series, autobloggers are desperately trying to turn the sad news into good old intarweb lulz. And few walk the tortuous line between credibility (calling Detroit’s woes as they are) and goof-tainment with more schizophrenic abandon than Jalopnik’s Ray Wert. The former Jennifer Granholm staffer just can’t escape his Detroit apologist roots, but his pro-bailout spin is generating enough centrifugal force to launch a Ford Excursion into the stratosphere. And it appears to be taking his already-tenuous definition of the term “irony” with it. Having already inexplicably defended the leadership of Rick Wagoner, and termed the bailout bill “Bankruptcy Lite,” Wert is causing more head asplosion this morning by hailing the House passage of said bill with a Ronald Reagan “Morning In America” campaign video. Dude, check it out: Reagan believed in markets. He would not have seen this unconscionable waste of of taxpayer money as “Morning In America.” And before you even claim that somehow the video is “ironic,” I want you to stop and brush up on the concept. Doing something idiotic and then claiming irony whe you are called out doesn’t make it clever. Irony is found in intellectual tension, not asinine non-sequitors. But by all means, bash back.
Talk of the UAW getting a seat on the board of General Motors in return for “concessions,” has Automotive News [sub] executive editor Edward Lapham thrilling at the idea of a UAW-run GM. Read only the title of his latest piece “UAW should get on board,” and you might assume it to be a call for more substantive UAW concessions to match the imminent bondholder haircut. You’d be wrong of course. “Nearly three decades ago, Doug Fraser, who was then president of the UAW, got a seat on the Chrysler board until the union recouped the wages and benefits it gave up so the automaker could get loan guarantees,” writes Lapham. “But this time, the union should do more.” Really? More? “Imagine what would happen if the UAW beat its sword into stock shares and invested its $1 billion strike fund in GM,” challenges Lapham. But there’s no need to imagine, because Lapham breaks it down for you. “It would effectively usher in an era of industrial peace and labor cooperation,” he figures. Not to mention the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. And with GM’s market cap treading water at $3b, the UAW could just snap up nearly a third of the company and get several seats on the board. Not only would this “send a loud, clear message to Congress and America that the UAW believes in GM’s chances to survive and thrive,” figures Lapham, “If you believe in the upside, it could be a spectacularly lucrative investment.” Or not. The relationship between the UAW and its employers has been defined by abuse, parasitism and disregard for the perogatives of competition. And it seems like even Lapham understands this, concluding his piece with the dire-but-fun-loving admonition to: “think of all the fun the UAW directors could have. Especially around contract time.” And you think GM is in bad shape now.
She beckoned me. She betrayed me. Like a transvestite with a svelte smooth body, exposed by ungodly rough stubble underneath her lip. The 1990 Mercury Sable had a perfect silhouette that was maligned by two hundred parking lot dings and scratches on her lower front bumper. An older lady had given her some brutal blows to that lower psyche of hers over the years and now it was my turn at the wheel… so to speak. Little did I know that this first encounter would be just the beginning of The Crying Game. This particular example of a Mercury Sable was as unique as it was dichotomous. 47,000 original miles in 18 years. But a base model with a fecal brown exterior. The equally repugnant plaid brown interior did the vehicle no favors. But Hell. For $600 I’d just be willing to cover her up in a paper bag and drive her around town for a while.
Automotive News [AN, sub] headlines its story about the cutbacks in auto industry ad spending with “We’ll all be singing Motown blues in ’09.” What do you mean “we” white men? According to AN, “Long-term media plans are history, and buys are being made month to month or even day to day. More ‘accountable’ media such as interactive are likely to be stressed.” We’re interactive, aren’t we? Accountable? Anyway, TTAC is a lean, mean news, reviews and rants machine (i.e. it’s run a by a nutter in the attic). But those automotive organizations with high-priced talent and big overheads (i.e. everyone else) are looking at some serious pain. “GM’s recovery plan, turned over to Congress, calls for it to cut a massive $600 million out of its marketing over four years. Ford will trim up to 10 percent of its outlay next year, which could result in another $100 million moving out of the market based on its measured spending of $757 million in the first nine months of the year… Chrysler is staying mum on its spending plans, but it’s a good gamble that the automaker will have to slash a big chunk of the $579 million TNS tracked it spending in the first nine months of this year.” I suggest that Motown’s media cheerleaders and apologists file this one under “be careful what you wish for.” Check out the tone after the jump.
Yesterday, we took Autobloggreen (ABG) to task for running a thinly-veiled pimpatorial for the new Mercedes-Benz GL320 BlueTec. Their post was disguised as a celebrity trend piece, supposedly informing eco-readers that Hollywood eco-warriors were exchanging their Priora for an equally PC Mercedes-Benz GL320 BlueTec diesel. We so busted them, from the manufacturer’s plates on the carefully-posed cheesecake shot’s whip, to the fact that ABG printed the entire MB press release verbatim. And now, surprise! They’re reviewing the Mercedes-Benz GL320 BlueTec. And do they like it? What do you think? But there is humor here, to be sure. “The garish graphics on the GM hybrid SUVs scream out to the world, ‘look I bought a hybrid! even though I’m still driving alone in an a 6,000 lb, seven passenger SUV!’ The Mercedes, on the other hand, only has discreet BlueTec badges on the front fenders and the tailgate. Aside from that and the GL320 badge, there is no other indication that this vehicle can get mileage in the mid-20s.” Whoa! Mid-20s? In an SUV? ABG’s planet saving mission is go! With 11k worth of options, no less…
Thanks to our new feature– What Wrong With This Picture (3WTP)– I am trained in the fine art of anomaly spotting. So when I saw this Autobloggreen (ABG) photo of Emmy Rossum filling-up her Blue Tec Merc with diesel, the cognitive dissonance nearly deafened me. First, check the posture. Emmy’s feet are way too close together for proper pumping. Second, the shoes. Have you ever tried driving an SUV in high heels? (Trust me, it’s not a good idea.) Third, why is she looking at the pump? I highly doubt she’s worried about the price. And if she was worried about nozzle blowback, she’d already be standing away from the vehicle. And then there’s the photog’s reflection. Only professional photogs assume that kind of contorted position, or use such a huge aperture (the camera). And so I read the text, which seemed to indicate that this is some kind of trend: celebs ditching Priora for Mercedes BlueTec diesel SUVs. Which makes no sense whatsoever. “Recently the likes of Naomi Watts, Kyle MacLachlan and Gary Oldman have been turning up driving Mercedes-Benz BlueTec diesels like the ML320 and E320. While these vehicles are not in the same green class as the Toyota, the do offer the other attributes of a Benz with much better fuel efficiency than gasoline-powered alternatives.” Which sounds an awful lot like PR copy to me…
Warren Brown is a shameless Detroit cheerleader. The Washington Post’s carmudgeon’s inability to criticize Motown’s products, process or prognosis has provided TTAC grill mist for years. Recently, we chronicled WaPo Warren’s lame, lamentable attempt to play the race card on The Big 2.8’s behalf. “Reluctance to Help Detroit Reeks of Class Bias” takes a different– though equally fabulous– tack. Brown starts by suggesting that anti-bailout journalists are effete intellectual snobs. “The queries [against the bailout] often come from people who earn substantially more than the estimated $71,000 annually in wages and benefits paid to UAW members. They come from people who, having reached upper-middle-class status by virtue of their college educations and communication skills, certainly wouldn’t settle for earning less.” Does Warren know that the UAW has a freelance writers’ branch? Anyway, the main event: “There is a feeling in this country– apparent in the often condescending, dismissive way Detroit’s automobile companies have been treated on Capitol Hill– that people who work with their hands and the companies that employ them are inferior to those who work with their minds and plow profit from information. How else to explain the clearly disparate treatment given to companies such as Citigroup and General Motors?” How else indeed. More WTF after the jump.
Not to red rag the bulls of our Best and Brightest oil-burning automotive acolytes, but iafrica.com pits the Audi Q7 4.2 FSI V8 against the BMW X5 3.0sd and the Lexus RX400h to find out which is the best way to propel a big ass five-passenger SUV with no off-road chops whatsoever. In case the suspense might have been killing you, scribe Michele Lupini rosebuds this sled from the first ‘graph. “The result is a bit of a shock, if you would excuse the pun.” OK, so, irony-free, Africancentric perspective on the hideous Audi Q7: “Its styling divides opinion — personally I like it but we have debated this one long and hard in the office and, to be quite honest, I doubt it’s an argument that will ever be quite resolved. Yes Q7 is bold, big and imposing — and it’s selling by the dozen so it must be popular…” Apparently, the turbo-diesel Bimmer sells by the two dozens. “As noted above, X5 is a pretty sharp driving tool and this is one of very few cars these days that still has a waiting list on it. And its premier turbodiesel driving experience is quite a hoot, let alone a most gratifying experience…” And now, the winner… (I love elipses too!)
The truth is out: as Chrysler CEO Bob Nardelli drove a Chrysler Aspen Hybrid to today’s Senate Banking Committee hearings. Confirmation comes from Jet-Gate Media Inc, formerly known as ABC News, which dedicates no fewer than four pages to the symbolism of CEO transportation choices. Of course Nardelli gets a good hosing for choosing a ride that will be canceled within less than a year of its introduction. ABC contrasts the high cost and marginal returns of hybrid vehicles with the currently low cost of gas, and concludes that (in the words of Kelly Blue Book’s Jack Nerad) “a hybrid alone will not save Detroit.” In short, the parade of Volt/Cruze mules, Chrysler vapoware and assorted hybrid and flex-fuel vehicles are a PR show to gain environmentalist support for a bailout. Shocking stuff, I know, but the disconnect between self-image and reality is key to this entire situation. Slate’s Daniel Gross explores this “Detroit Delusion,” arguing that “the markets are treating the auto companies as if they’re already in bankruptcy,” and “the federal funding they’re requesting is necessary to help manage failure, not to stave it off.” Luckily Senators seem to be focusing on these financial issues rather than taking the eco-future bait.
As part of TTAC’s emphasis on the human side of the Motown’s meltdown, we’re keeping our editorial eye out (ouch) for stories on the human impact of this debacle. After all, whether or not the Big 2.8’s CEOs succeed in liberating Uncle Sam of enough money to live to die another day, hundreds of thousands of people are going to suffer [NB: the blame belongs with the bailout brigade]. And so, “at the invitation of Cardinal Adam Maida, archbishop of Detroit, 12 Christian, Jewish and Muslim leaders will gather at Sacred Heart Major Seminary on Thursday, December 4, to share how their faith communities are responding to the economic crisis in metro Detroit and discuss possible future initiatives.” We put in a call to the group for more info, but they’re too busy to schmooze or spin. In any case, we salute Detroit’s religious community for recognizing the scope, scale and pace of this reckoning. They have their work cut out for them.
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