While TTAC’s been busy chronicling the fall and fall of American automakers’ 100-year hegemony over the domestic auto industry, Autoblog’s been keeping its audience appraised of the latest modded cars, Mustangs and SEMA showpieces. Fair enough. We’re proud to be able to relieve AB of their obligation to blog hard news.  But every now and then, AOL’s auto-bitch feels compelled to weigh-in on matters weighty. Normally, they take a predictable editorial line on Detroit’s disasters. That sucks. Good luck! And don’t don’t forget to park your latest whip in the Autoblog Garage. Thanks! So when there’s a change of tone at AB, it can only mean one thing. That REALLY sucks. Chris Shunk provides our excursion to the dark side of the moon (snicker snicker). After reporting on the Treasury Department’s “Just Say No” response to funding the GM – Chrysler merger, Shunk sums-up Motown’s End of Days, AB-style. “There is no doubt these are very troubled times for the U.S. auto industry, and it seems everything is happening very quickly right now. Most forecasts are pointing to a similarly dismal 2009, too, so this mess is far from over.” Thanks for the heads-up.

Here’s a press release which assumes, I suppose, that I have at least one wife who qualifies as a minority. Actually, Sam’s an African American, originating as she does from the RSA. Anyway, AutoBrag.com‘s playing the “HERE’S A STARTLING SURVEY, BUT DON’T WORRY ABOUT OUR METHODOLOGY” PR game, and playing it well. And here’s how they did it! “We sent out 87 pairs of observations [sic] to compare how the best price difference between the White Males, verse [sic] White Females, Minority Males and Minority Females to 35 Southern California new car dealerships to keep track of how each pair with different race and gender only would be treated by the salesperson. The results are astonished. [sic] The race, gender, and car make affect the price American consumers pay for their new car significantly. And, again, the differences of the best price between different race and gender are even greater if one considers the long-term financing and opportunity costs throughout the lifetime of the new car purchase.” How’s that for statistical control? Does that fact they were all “college kids” influence your opinion? Those of you who wish to get a closer look at the race card in Autobraggadoccio Danny Chan’s hand can make the jump for the results.

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Wired magazine has mailed its real world subs a “Wired How To” mini-magazine. Within its pages, they’ll discover a section entitled “Get 50 mpg in a Buick.” To achieve this remarkable gas-miserly feat, the mag recommends that hyper-mileage seeking missiles (that’s you) turn the key off when you’re coasting. There’s no warning that turning the key off will lock the steering and kill the power brakes. Admittedly, the eds suggest you “turn the key back a notch so the engine shuts down.” But I’m sure some naif will either accidentally or purposely turn the key all the way off. And even if they do it correctly, they’ll still lose power steering, which can come as a shock to a 100-pound woman (naif waif?). Wired also advises motorists looking for mythical mileage to “inch up behind an 18-wheeler and kill the engine as you enter its slipstream. You’re drafting now, getting pulled along by the truck’s gas instead of your own.” Yes, they admit it’s “dangerous.” Especially when the truck driver gets pissed and taps his brakes. And as your own binders have lost power assist with the engine off, that could be something of a problem. So, anyway, how do you change your own oil?

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When I heard Sean Hannity blather on about “the death of journalism” re: the mainstream media’s coverage of the current presidential election, I paid the conservative talkmeister scant attention. Even if the press is in the tank for Obama, it’s not like the situation is analogous to living in Mother Russia during Pravda’s Stalinist heyday, when the KGB had about as much tolerance for dissent as Saddam Hussein’s thugs. Check it: Hannity’s got his airwaves. The “liberal press” have theirs. And everybody and their mother has the internet. But now that I’ve been following the GM – Chrysler merger story, I beginning to wonder if Mr. U.R. A Great American may have a point. I, for one, am not fooled for an instant by the automotive press’ unrelenting reliance on “unnamed sources” for their reporting on the creation of American Leyland. GM PR is spoon-feeding the press, no one’s admitting it and that’s that. But Jesus, did Reuters stop to think for ONE SECOND that GM might NOT have contacted Toyota for help? If we can see that a source isn’t reputable from friggin’ Rhode Island, WTH is wrong with Reuters’ Asian reporters? And what kind of bullshit is it when a supposedly reputable news agency retracts its story by repeating it? Media pros bemoan the ethics and standards of internet-based “citizen journalists.” Puh-lease.

The latest feel-good offering from GM’s Fastlane Blog is this “cool video from the folks over at GM Europe showcasing the Saab 9-X Air concept.” And though the 9X Air has a certain appeal (sleek four-seat convertible), its relevance to GM’s current situation is as good as nil. Of course, calling the video a throwaway distraction would imply that GM has ever posted anything insightful at Fastlane. Posting a concept video is doubtless meant to convey the impression of business-as-usual at the RenCen. But to anyone who understands the quantity and quality of excrement hitting the fan in Detroit right now, the impression is of deep denial. Why on earth is GM burning much-needed cash on concepts with retracting side mirrors, a dash on loan from the Romulans and “a canopy top?” That Fastlane would note that this final feature has a patent pending shows how deep the denial goes. Just the kind of venture I want to sink my tax dollars into.

Being Bob Lutz has a fantastic job. He’s rich as sin (thank you, Daimler, for buying Chrysler), and he has Czar in his unofficial title with GM. He can say whatever he feels like, whether it’s about global warming (“a crock of shit,” in his words) or random price projections for meeting the next round of EPA standards. During Maximum Bob’s epic career, he’s “championed” some very interesting though chronically unsuccessful products. Some of these were on sale twenty years ago, others are on sale today. And still others will likely never see the light of day. While so many cars have been touched by Lutz’s magic hands, we present to you his big nine.

Now that self-styled AutoExtremist has acknowledged that his hometown heroes have screwed the proverbial pooch, Peter DeLorenzo wants the left and right coast elites to know they can’t afford to let Motown take a dirt nap. Rant #469 (my favorite title so far) makes it clear that the American automobile industry IS Detroit, and Detroit IS America’s industrial pillar. “Free-market theorizing aside [ED: sure , why not?], we have long since passed the point of no return in this matter. If this country allows one of its key manufacturing pillars to slip into insolvency, it would set-off a dark chain of events that would reach into every sector of the economy and would not only devastate the states where Detroit has its manufacturing and parts facilities, but it would affect every state of the union too.” That means you, bub. To avoid this “looming economic disaster,” Sweet Pete thinks the GM – Chrysler merger’s kinda neat. “Even though I am absolutely convinced that the idea of GM acquiring Chrysler is absolutely fraught with opportunities for abject failure on a grand scale, the White House will make the decision that a managed dissolution of Chrysler over time under GM’s stewardship would be preferable than an immediate corporate blow-up.” Especially before a presidential election, eh? Having finished this adventure into realpolitik, DeLorenzo’s got a plan for America, Inc. Counter-attack!

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We’ve already covered Detroit News columnist Daniel Howes’ Road to Damascus moment, when the hometown paper’s seriously smart scribe finally acknowledged that the domestics are going down. But Danny’s latest column indicates a bit of backsliding. “Fed help for GM merits tough terms” promises guidelines to protect taxpayer’s interests. You know something along the lines of Ken Elias’ recent General Motors Death Watch post. Of course, any such prescription would have to include a call for the dismissal of the Harvard-educated idiots runing GM, the Home Despots atop Chrysler and UAW jeffe Big Ron Gettelfinger. But that’s a bridge too far for the Detn’s Motown maven. “…the guys atop GM, Ford, Chrysler and the UAW with their collective hands out should be prepared to accept some onerous conditions in exchange for the federal dough — up to and including putting their jobs, legacies and golden parachutes on the line.” Putting them on the line? Danny, these guys needs to go (save that nice Mr. Mulally who rang us up the other day and totally coopted our coverage). Full marks for asking the right questions (albeit a bit late). Now, how about some answers?

It was just a month ago that Edmunds was falsely claiming they had the “World’s First Test of the VW Jetta TDI.” Now Edmunds InsideLine is at it again, this time lying about the Nissan 370Z. The article lead, which appears on the InsideLine home page, says “First Photos of the 2010 370Z Convertible.” Except that under the pictures, the caption reads: “This photo illustration offers an early look at the future Nissan 370Z convertible. (Photo illustration by Nick Wilcox).”

The phrases “photo” and “photo illustration” don’t mean the same thing. If they did, the Weekly World News would be unbelievably successful and Sarah Palin really would be holding that baby and gun in her bikini. And by the way, even if “photo” included “photo illustration,” Edmunds wouldn’t be first; Japanese car magazines have been photoshopping the 370Z for several years already.

Bloomberg reports that the American Revolution may have to continue (start?) without America’s small town atheletes. “Chevrolet will stop promotions tied to college sports and only advertise during games, said Philip Caruso, national promotions manager. The brand will also eliminate partnerships with some of the smaller sports such as skiing, he said.” When you’re shutting off escalators and limiting voice mail to save some money, excising a big chunk of change like this makes sense. That said, check this out. “The economy is making us re-look at everything we do,” Caruso said in an interview after awarding Major League Baseball’s Roberto Clemente Award at the World Series in Philadelphia. “It’s cutting back mainly spending in the sports area and promotions as a whole, and then reallocating in some of those areas that help grow our business.” So, does that mean the previous ad spend wasn’t helping them grow their business? D’oh!

Hey! What happened to TTAC’s invitation to the GM “Night on Bear Mountain” mass test drive? If it’s good enough for Autoblog and Jalopnik, it’s good enough for us. Of course, TTAC’s not in the tank for GM. We might do something impolite, like point out that the Saturn Vue 2 Mode Hybrid is an excellent example of everything that’s wrong with GM. (And that’s without driving it.) For one thing, product overlap. WITHIN SATURN. The Vue 2 [a kill] is the second hybrid system for the SUV, which will now sell alongside (in theory) the existing Saturn “light hybrid,” which was initially introduced as the Vue Green Line. It’s a model/technological distinction that will be completely lost on anyone even remotely resembling a potential customer. So, blissfully married and entirely hetrosexual Alex Nunez, who’s this thing for, then?

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We’ve identified NYT (and former Detroit News) scribe Bill Vlasic as a Motown cheerleader ever since ever. Bill’s not happy with that assessment. Can’t see it. Which is kind of strange. I mean, read this piece in The Times chronicling GM’s slide into bankruptcy and try and find one– one– instance where Vlasic takes CEO Rick Wagoner and Co. to task for running what was once the world’s largest automaker into the ground. It’s full of the usual weasel words and waffle. To wit: the headline. “Driven to the brink.” Not driving over the brink. Driven to the brink (by external events, of course). Vlasic and his partner lead their “story” with the termination of GM’s CXX SUV program (you hurt your what?). “‘It would have been very difficult in today’s environment to spend a couple of billion dollars to do a replacement [for the GMT900 SUVs],’ said Robert A. Lutz, G.M.’s vice chairman and head of product development. ‘Reality had set in.'” And when did Maximum Bob get this wake-up call? May. Of this year. There’s more, but those of you who easily offended by GM’s mismanagement and media stooges should avoid the jump.

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