TTAC has a longstanding policy of exposing the sordid connection between mainstream automotive manufacturers and the mainstream automotive press. We feel compelled– compelled I tell you– to do so. A car is the average consumer’s second largest purchase. Propagating the myth that “there’s no such thing as a bad car,” or simply spinning spin on the spinmeisters’ behalf, is against the interests of the audience these publications pretend to serve. We’ve taken AutoWeek to task for their pro-everyone bias many times. But it’s a nuanced sort of deal, easily defensible by those who make their living riding on the carmakers’ gravy train. Except when it isn’t. The September 29 issue [print] has a full page, cardboard tear-out for the Danbury Mint’s ALL NEW! 1971 Plymouth Hemi ‘Cuda Convertible model. Pages 24 and 24 of Autoweek are headlined “Newly Minted,” cataloguing (literally) four new Danbury unlimited edition replicas, Shouldn’t that be freshly minted? Anyway… “While we usually offer a glimpse of scale models from a variety of manufacturers,” the subhead announces. “this time, we’re focusing on the latest offering from the Danbury Mint.” Storm in a teacup? Obviously. Indicative of a wider journalistic malaise? Absolutely.

Jim Dollinger (a.k.a. Buickman) never met a windmill he couldn’t tilt at. Our kinda guy really. We’ve already chronicled the dealer’s battle with GMInside News (GMI). When the site’s administrators grew tired of Jim’s front line reporting and corporate criticism, they banned him from posting (later rescinded as a “technical problem”). The recently GMI-re-enabled Buickman has just informed us that he used his access to post Ken Elias’ General Motors Death Watch 201 over on the website’s forum (careful with that copyright, Jimbo). It was immediately deleted. We here at TTAC don’t mind fan boy sites, but just like the corporation it covers, GMI needs to step up and take it like a man.

“The film ‘Flash of Genius’ chronicles the life story of Bob Kearns, who asserted that he invented the intermittent windshield wiper and sued Ford, Chrysler and other automakers for patent infringement. While films like ‘Flash of Genius’ are made for entertainment purposes, the facts are often less dramatic.

Bob Kearns as well as hundreds of engineers from many companies, including Ford, helped develop the intermittent wiper as part of an evolution of existing automotive and electronic components.

While there are inaccuracies in the film, Ford sees no value in re-hashing the history of a legal case that was resolved in court almost 20 years ago, when a jury ruled that Ford did not willfully violate Mr. Kearns’ patent.

Today, Ford continues to make engineering and design breakthroughs in areas such as fuel efficiency, safety and smart technology, and is proud of its 100-year legacy of innovation in automotive technology.”

Information Week reports that GM will be relaunching GMNext as a PR brainwashing social networking site. Apparently, they think it will make a difference. “It’s hard to put a specific dollar value on this but it’s something we have to do,” GM social media manager Natalie Johnson declared, before refusing to reveal how much GM is spending on the re-hype. Johnson cited CEO Rick Wagoner’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” video as an example of how the internet allows executives to “answer some tough questions in a very candid and frank way.” Uh, hang on; the Wagoner clip was on GM’s FastLane blog, not the [existing] GMNext website. Anyway, here’s the CEO’s one and only reply to 73 comments…

To everyone who’s commented,

Thanks for your terrific feedback. We appreciate your passion, ideas and support. This gives us a good idea of what’s on your mind. Unfortunately, I’m unable to respond to all of your comments individually right now, but I have read them. Over the next few weeks other GM leaders will offer their perspective about different areas of the company, and you’ll continue to see GM team members respond to many of your specific questions. That said, I would like to thank Ben for his CTS-V purchase; and please tell your girlfriend that I hope she enjoys her new Sky.

It was great to see many of the comments about the Chevy Volt. Since the beginning, we’ve been open in discussing the Volt’s development, progress, and challenges. Perhaps it makes the Volt’s production date seem a long way off, but at the same time, hopefully it’s interesting to be able to look through the same microscope we are. I agree with those who say Volt isn’t the only solution — it’s clearly not, which is why we offer many hybrids today, have 18 2009 vehicles that achieve 30 mpg or higher highway fuel economy, and are doing extensive work in biofuels, including cellulosic.

I assure you that the GM team is working hard to reinvent the automobile and our company . . . and we’re doing it in the midst of a very challenging environment, but we know we can win.

Thanks again for your interest and comments, and please keep them coming.

Rick

The NY Times had a Digg-topping hit over the weekend, exposing the unwashed masses to the cosmic truth that LeMons racing is incredibly awesome. Regular readers of TTAC and other fine car blogs have adored the $500 car nut race series for some time now, but it’s good to see LeMons get the mainstream attention it so richly deserves. Besides, making an entertaining feature out of LeMons is a little like voting for Obama: if you can’t swing it, you probably shouldn’t be working at the New York Times. Wheelspin scribe Eddie Alterman hooked up with a Fiero-fielding team for LeMons South, and the event’s insane rules rich pagentry and certifiable nutcases colorful personalities shine through in his piece. LeMons is too crazy not to appreciate a tribute to the vibrancy of the American spirit, and it’s new-found popularity comes as no surprise. Just don’t go changing on us, guys.

On Sunday, the Bill Heard dealer group filed for bankruptcy protection. Despite burying the deal on the Lord’s day of rest, the story received considerable play. While TTAC’s long maintained that the U.S. car industry’s domestic dealers are dropping like flies– thanks to the switch out of SUVs and pickups, the end of easy credit and sweet leasing deals, lackluster domestic automotive products, the failure of Big 2.8 branding and marketing, the success of the Asian manufacturers and the rise in floorplan costs– Bill Heard’s demise had a little something to do with the fact that his stores were staffed rapacious sons of bitches who would do ANYTHING to move the metal. There’s a long history of anti-Heard litigation, including an unresolvd $50m lawsuit. Yet the majority of the mainstream media coverage miss this salient detail, including Bloomberg, Automotive News [sub] and our friend Sharon Terlep at Dow Jones. The Atlanta Journal Constitution and The Orlando Sentinel get it right. Oh, and it’s only a matter of time before some class action suit draws GM into the equation, for knowingly shipping cars to a criminal and his cohorts.

Kimatni D. Rawlins’ Automotive Rhythms (AR) is an autoblogospherical venture born in the dawn of the gangsta era, specifically designed to get Kimatni D. Rawlins behind the wheel of press cars, preferably at a luxurious, all-expenses paid press junket. The over-ripe fruit of Rawlin’s writing: unflaggingly glowing reviews of… whatever. TTAC has long resisted criticizing Automotive Rhythms because we respect the cultural importance of… no that’s not it. Something about fish and barrels. Anyway, either Rawlins has checked his package or the Lincoln MKS sucks. Or, perhaps, both. Mind you, Kimatni’s still pulling his punches. And his prose still just kind of sits there. And the usual factual inaccuracies rankle. But there is some sting in this tale. “The interior falls way short of what Lincoln luxury should be. Our ‘Black Ultimate Interior’ was a mix of fake wood trim, dark plastics and basic leather which was tucked under the seats like bed sheets. When I tried to adjust the seats, the plastic frame hosting the seat adjusters could be pushed out exposing the ugly finish of the leather and the foam which makes up the seat cushion… At first sight the vehicle will reel you in like fishing poles and pitch you the world. But keep in mind, looks can be very deceiving!”

As my five-year-old daughter’s learning, a joke’s just not as funny the second time ’round– especially if you tell it to the same people immediately after you told it to them the first time. But I guess Alex Nunez’ live-blogging of Knight Rider— lauded in these parts for its pithy candor– wasn’t supposed to be a joke. Why else would Autoblog promise to do it again? And again. And again. Until NBC’s axe falls mercifully upon the Hoff’s legacy. Page views? While AB doesn’t have a view counter, I’m guessing that the most vanilla of auto blogs appeals to an enormous coterie of Knight Rider fans. And that’s a deeply scary thought. Anyway, AB shares the viewing data for the new Knight Rider, episode one. “Robert Seldman who writes for tvbythenumbers.com tells us that the 18-34 year old demographic was even more interested in watching America’s Next Top Model than Michael Knight, and that includes both males and females.” Does that mean car porn is not as appealing as soft porn to single people? Did I just ask that question?

Apparently, there’s an ad-copywriting school that offers a course called “If It’s Way Too Complicated To Explain, Just Lie.” In the October issue of Vanity Fair, a Saab 9.3 Turbo ad proclaims, “We believe every person should recycle. And so should every engine.” So far so good. But according to the body copy, “By taking exhaust that typically escapes out the tailpipe and redirecting it back into the engine, the Saab Turbo maximizes performance…” Now wait a minute. Saab engines can run on exhaust gases? There are three possibilities here. One is that the copywriters simply decided nobody actually cares how a turbocharger works. Another is that one of the creatives remembered hearing about something called “exhaust-gas recirculation.” But the most likely is that the dumb strokes have no idea how a turbo works and don’t care. How the mäktig have fallen.

TTAC tested a private car August 15.
Lieberman tested a press car September 19.

Well, now that NBC’s lawyers have swooped down on the net like a helicopter appearing from out of nowhere, we can’t warn you not to click on a link to the entire episode of last night’s Knight Rider– the only TV show in the history of the world (ever) that can make Bewitched seem like Beowulf. Watch the preview above, but do not view the latest episode of the latest Knight Rider; you will never get that 42:38 seconds back. But if you feel you must, I highly recommend Autoblog’s live blog log as the best way to navigate to/around the truly excrutiating bits. Normally, Autoblog’s unabashed, puppy-dog-like love of all things automotive makes their PR-inspired analysis the equivalent of listening to an over-earnest co-worker describing a particularly boring meeting while he’s pissing in the adjacent urinal. But this time, Alex Nunez provides us with comic friggin’ gold. Or, if you prefer, haiku hilarity. “8:08: A Cobra (helicopter) shoots a missile at our fearless heroes. It is the world’s slowest missile.” I swear this is Autoblog’s. Best. Post. Ever.

We’ve already reported that Forbes thinks buying a new SUV from just about anyone in these time of killer depreciation is a damn fine idea. Apparently, the mag’s enthusiasm for vehicles with barge pole marks also extends to other advertisers unloved automobiles. “Cars Worth A Second Look” can be roughly translated into “Four-Wheeled Dogs You Can Get for A Song.” Poster child for this ten worst best list: the Saab 9-5. “It’s not that the Saab 9-5 is a bad car, ‘it just doesn’t flow well’ with some people, says Stephanie Brinley, auto analyst at AutoPacific, an industry research and analysis firm. The interior is a little bit ‘off center’ with the ignition located on the center console and not the steering column or dash board, which is appealing to ‘a little different buyer with a little different personality,’ she adds. The fact that it sits on an ancient (i.e. decrepit) platform has nothing to do with it. This time out, Jacqueline Mitchell (for it is her) factors crap sales (sub-10k), safety (“acceptable” crash rating or better), EPA mileage (17 – 20mpg) and five-year cost of ownership (including depreciation!). [Mitsubishi Outlander, Mazda Tribute, Mazda5, Volvo S80, Audi A6, Hyundai Veracruz, Hyundai Entourage, Acura RL, Audi A3 (captioned A2 in the slide show), Saab 9-5]

Forbes hit the SEO (search engine optimization) mother lode when someone realized that Google hearts ten best lists. Since that fateful discovery, we’ve had The Ten Best Subcompacts for Badminton Players, The Ten Best Minivans In Which to Play Badminton and The Ten Best Muscle Cars for Overcompensating Badminton Players. Normally, I ignore these lists. But you gotta sit-up and take notice when Forbes expands their advertiser-pleasing OCD to a dead genre guzzling– SUVs– and ups the ante to “15 SUVs Worth Buying.” Huh? “Just because the movement in fuel-efficient or green cars looks poised to take another step forward [with the Volt], doesn’t mean SUVs are going the way of the dodo. It doesn’t even mean that they’re bad cars–or even bad buys.” The doubly negative (positive?) Jacqueline Mitchell reckons low prices and safety, safety, safety make SUVs OK again. But fifteen recommendations? I mean, who doesn’t get a look in? Just because you’re pandering to the major playas doesn’t mean you shouldn’t not widen the remit to the point where no one’s not included, does it? And let’s not even factor in depreciation, ’cause that would be a major downer. [Mercedes M-Class, Audi Q7, Acura MDX, Volvo XC90, Acura RDX, GMC Acadia/Buick Enclave/Saturn Outlook; Subaru Tribeca, Honda Pilot, Ford Taurus X, Volkswagen Tiguan, Saturn Vue, Hyundai Sante Fe, Honda CR-V, Mitsubishi Outlander and Subaru Forester.]

Dodge has a new full-size Ram pickup on the streets. Well, at the dealership. Anyway, the fact that it’s a gas hog– albeit a slightly more efficient gas hog– won’t come as much of a surprise to anyone familiar with the breed. Of course, a Washington Post staffer is hardly likely to be a member of the genre’s core clientele– or at least admit as much to his chardonnay swilling compatriots. And yet the WaPo’s nominal car critic Warren Brown feels compelled– compelled I tell you– to devote virtually his entire Ram review to the behemoth’s fuel economy, or lack thereof. “Our 2009-model test truck came with the short cargo bed — five feet and seven inches long. Had we gotten one with the long cargo bed, eight feet, we could have distributed our cargo over a longer surface, thereby reducing its height. We would have gotten better mileage that way… It usually takes more energy to drive four wheels than it does to drive two, especially if much of that driving will be uphill, which was the case on the New York end of our trip. The upshot is that we burned regular gasoline at the disappointing rate of 15 miles per gallon on the highway, an egregious consumption accompanied by a total $225 fuel bill for a round trip of nearly 700 miles.” On the positive side, “Chrysler is whacking as much as 40 percent off Rams’ list price.” Uh, that’s LAST YEAR’S Ram, Warren. Well, for now.

Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put. And when this literary faux pas emanates from a professional copywriter, well, how do you say “insupportable!” (Hopefully with Gallic disdain.) Shame on you, Mssr. Vinny Manchillo, chief creative officer of Scott Howell & Company and guest columnist for AdAge. “Electing a public official is almost exactly like working on another type of traditional advertising account. One that, unlike political advertising, everyone is clamoring to work on. Political advertising is just like working on a car account.” Yes, “Barack Obama is a stunning orator and tremendous motivator. More than a candidate, he’s a personality-driven movement. For his supporters, that far outweighs any shortcomings he may have in his experience or voting record. He is a Ferrari.” So what does that make McCain? A Toyota Camry. So much for Obama, then. Take that as gospel from a guy who was a stand-up comic and lawnmower racer before he worked on the Subaru account. Unless you’re Scott Monty, Global Digital Communications guy for Ford Motor Company, who thinks it’s “interesting that you [Vinny] chose two foreign cars for candidates for President of the *United States.*”