Ignorance is a bankable commodity. When Bear Stearns stepped-up to the federal begging bowl, the average U.S. taxpayer had no idea who the Hell they were, why they needed money, and whether or not they should get it. Still doesn't. But if/when Ford eventually asks Uncle Sam to open your purse, it may not have what you'd call a winning plot line. Ford's good will with the public has often gone up in smoke (Pinto) or rolled over and died (Explorer). There's another PR debacle looming over the horizon: Flash of Genius. The movie paints a bleak moral picture of the artist once known as the inventor of the working class hero-mobile. We'll be sure to explore whether or not it's accurate in future posts. Meanwhile, make no mistake: it doesn't matter. Except that it does. And will. [thanks to katiepuckrick for the tip]

A clever TTAC commentator scanned internet archives and found this little gem. It's the script for aspiring actors looking to apply for GM's CPO ambush ads. As anyone who's ever watched the carefully-planned spontaneity of reality TV knows, it's no surprise that GM decided how to embarrass private sellers before they embarrassed them, and used professionals. But it's still a bit queasy-making to see the non-pro sellers' replies pre-established on paper. And there are still a few questions about Ambush-gate that I'd like answered. Were the ambushees given a heads-up before taping? Were they given the script? How many sellers did they film who refused to sign a release? How much did GM have to pay to get people to agree to this? How much did this campaign cost? [thanks to AW for the tip]

Click here for PDF of script

GM's press release begins with a rhetorical question: "What would happen if you turned more than 20 undercover film and surveillance professionals loose to show the potential drawbacks of buying a used vehicle that is not manufacturer certified?" And then, without a trace of irony, "the results were not at all surprising." The General dispatched actors posing as car buyers– complete with hidden cameras and release forms– to "ambush" [their words] and embarrass [ours] private sellers with "questions that private party used-vehicle sellers often don't want to hear." During one close encounter of the heinous kind, the actor asks an unsuspecting seller if he can install a phone in the seller's home so he can call for roadside assistance any time, day or night. Other private sellers were harassed about "things like financing and courtesy transportation." "We even bought one of the cars and then tried to return it a few days later with a three-day, 150-mile guarantee," bragged copywriter Jim Hagar. 

[Click here to go to GM's usedcarambush.com] 

Anyone who can't guess where The Gray Lady stands on any given issue simply isn't paying attention. But today's New York Times Op Ed– The Oil Man Cometh– is harder to follow than Eugene O'Neill's seminal work. First, predictably enough, scribe Timothy Egan salutes T. Boone Pickens' anti-drilling, anti-Bush/McCain stance. "The 80-year-old T. Boone Pickens says, in a $58 million campaign, is that we can’t drill our way to lower gas prices. By implication, anybody who tells you otherwise — including the fellow Texan he helped put in the White House — is a fraud." And then, Egan rips Pickens a new asshole. "But before T. Boone poses for his statue, he has to answer to his past. Pickens was the moneybags, to the tune of $3 million, behind the Swift Boat attacks that made Senator Kerry’s honorable service in Vietnam sound like Rambo tangled up in lies." And then, he loves him. "No doubt, the Pickens plan makes sense." And then he loves him not. Or something. "Winning the argument may depend on who has the bigger megaphone. Advantage Pickens. Which means advantage Obama. Unless, of course, McCain wants to Swift Boat him, and then he knows who to turn to." Oy.

When Rick Wagoner told us GM would be making "significant reductions in promotional and event budgets," you could well have taken his vow as a shift in GM's priorities towards building solid products. Yes and no. Automotive News [sub] reports that GM will cut Chevrolet's marketing budget. BUT The General's American Revolutionaries will still spend a fortune, albeit with a new emphasis. "We've spent a lot of money this year promoting cars versus trucks, more than we have in a long time, and we're going to continue to do that," assures Chevy brand VP Ed Peper. To that end, Chevy will be leading the General's charge into new media advertising. "We actually think it's a very good idea," Peper commits. "And when budgets do tighten up, it's something we'll have to take an even harder look at," he de-commits. Snarks aside, Chevrolet already spends a larger portion of its ad dollars online than any other GM brand. Look for a Volt ad on TTAC in the near future. Say… 2010.

Reuters reports that Toyota sold 4.8m vehicles in the first half of 2008, while GM managed to move 4.54m. It's official: GM is no longer the world's largest automobile manufacturer. GM's spinmeisters promptly bragged that it reached record numbers in three of its four regions in the second quarter of 2008. Unfortunately, GM's 116k-unit growth outside of the U.S. was swamped by a 236k-unit decline in the home market. Also, GM continues to take full unit credit for sales in China– even though the Chinese business is majority-owned by Chinese partner SAIC. (For example, GM owns only 34 percent of the unit which builds the high-volume Chevrolet Spark.) GM's decision back in 2000 to ramp-up trucks and SUVs whilst eviscerating their US car efforts in order to boost profit margins has come home to roost. 

Of The Big 2.8, there's no question that Ford has the best chance of emerging from America's Summer of Shiva, uh, intact. But that doesn't mean they will, or can– despite the Obama-like blessing bestowed upon the ailing American automaker by the mainstream automotive press. Tomorrow, The Blue Oval Boyz are taking a leaf out of GM's PR playbook. FoMoCo will announce its new new new turnaround plan on the same day that they reveal some shocking financial losses. To say the press is in the tank for Ford would be something of an understatement, as two of its heavy hitters have already praised Ford for its courage, perspicacity, common sense, speed and general good looks. Self-styled Autoextremist Peter DeLorenzo leads the charge. The big news here: Sweet Pete's finally using a typeface that doesn't make you want to do an Oedipus. But seriously, "Instead of doing a series of baby-step changes over the next three years, Ford will bring its 2012-2014 products forward to the 2010-2011 time frame in a blaze of models and configurations that will set the U.S. market – and its competitors – on its ear." Woo-hoo! While The Detroit News' Daniel Howes is a lot more cautious, his piece is generally supportive. "Ford is taking giant steps in the right direction," Howes pronounces, without waiting for a glimpse at the big picture. "At last."

So begins the Detroit News' recent editorial on John McCain's recent flippity-flop on California emissions regulations. And though industry gentlemen prefer McCain, the DetNews' critique is centered not so much on McCain's flip as his flop. After all, McCain originally supported California's right to set its own standards before coming around to support the industry-backed opposition to CARB– before flopping back to the federalist camp at a recent appearance at GM's Warren Technical Center. That has the Detroit News going after McCain on a host of industry-related issues. Calling his proposal for a $5k consumer tax credit for zero-emissions cars a "giveaway scheme" sounds good, and is certainly founded on strong economic principles.  McCain's proposed $300m prize for an advanced EV battery is similarly lambasted. Which is all well and good, except that the Detroit News would rather find itself dead in a ditch than hold its industry backers up to the same standard. Haven't  Ford's Mark Fields and Chrysler's Jim Press been pressuring the government for production incentives for EVs? Hell, didn't Slick Rick even ask Obama for the very consumer incentives that the Detroit News derides? But as hard as it tries to portray Detroit as just wanting to be left alone by the government, DetN fails to apply its free-market logic to the industry it pimps. With this flip-floping attack, the industry's paid rhetoricians have inadvertently exposed their critique of John McCain as the intellectually bankrupt hypocrisy it really is. You stay classy guys.

Yesterday when discussing Chrysler's difficulties in accessing credit to offer sweetheart financing, the conversation couldn't stray from a simple reality. Chrysler's cars don't sell themselves, making the company dependent on getting good financing despite the credit crunch. And what better example is there of Chrysler's product pathos than the unlovable Avenger? Motor Trend recently tested ten midsized sedans it deems "Familial and Frugal," and despite going head-to-head with Mitsubishi's Galant and the Kia Optima, the Avenger came in dead last. Offering the worst acceleration, handling and braking of any car in its class, the Avenger inspired some savage simile from the usually docile MT staff. The Avenger's "crude" engine and "archaic" four-speed tranny "pushes it off the line with about as much vigor as a maimed turtle," say the buff book scribes. And though the styling isn't horrible,technical director Frank Markus says "the Dodge's quasi-aggressive styling and nomenclature and its racy white-faced gauges kind of write a sportiness check that the drivetrain and chassis can't cash." Sure it was the cheapest car in the test, but sometimes that's not even enough. Senior Editor Ed Loh sums it all up, saying "overall this is the essence of basic transportation; not remotely fun to drive and not all that practical or feature rich. There is absolutely no reason to buy this car." Well said sir, and may we just say that for once we are in complete agreement.

I watched a video biography of Robert Duval this weekend. And then I caught the western flick Open Range, in which Bobby shares screen time with Kevin Costner. The great thing about Duval is that he always seems to be paying attention, Hell, thinking, whenever Kevin does his laconic integrity dialogue thing (i.e. speaks his lines). Nobody does listening better than Duval– even if he's probably thinking about shagging some young production assistant. Certainly not Top Gear's James May or Richard Hammond. (I mean pretending to think, not getting shagged by Robert Duval). As JC pontificates in front of hundreds of adoring fans, it's like Hammond and May are standing in front of the school principal, waiting for him to shut up so they can say something clever to get into even more trouble, Instead, anything they say can and will be used against them to make Clarkson seem even more bombastic than he already is– and that's saying something. Still, you've got to give The Great One and his production team credit. They really are… …. …. something else. As is, of course, the GT-R.

1. It's lazy journalism. You don't have to write a coherent thesis. Just pick a topic, choose ten cars that fit the remit and, perhaps, come up with a formula upon which to base your selections. 2. It's always wrong. There is always at least one car that doesn't belong on the list. Newsday's "10 new fuel-friendly cars the coming year may bring" offers patient readers the option of waiting for a hydrogen-powered BMW 7-Series. 3. The captions are uninformed, poorly written and condescending. In this case, the tasteless McNuggets are prepared with the help of Edmunds' road test editor Brian Moody. "The good news is that VW is going to put diesels into the hands of the average person who may just want good fuel economy in a normal car." Huh. 4. There's always a whiff of whore's perfume to the choices. "Brian Moody makes a valid point [about the Cadillac Escalade Hybrid]: 'GM was shrewd to put out a vehicle that basically helps luxury SUV owners feel better about driving a big SUV.'" All that said, these lists are ridiculously popular with the mainstream press. So… help us choose "The Top Ten Cars for People Who Don't Care About Top Ten Car Lists," based on the best cars not currently on a popular top ten list.

Kevin Bacon fans note: there are no degrees of separation between Tesla Death Watch 12 and this, Volt Birth Watch 67. They're both based on the same TTAC-mentioning New York Times article on mainstream electric vehicles (EV). The Death Watch revealed scribe Joe Nocera's skepticism for Tesla's four-door dreams– sorry "plans" for a mainstream EV. And wails on Aptera's ambitions. So how will we all live together, together in electric dreams? The plug-in hybrid electric – gas Chevrolet Volt ! "So where should we look, realistically, for a mass-market electric vehicle? Believe it or not, Detroit. In fact, the quick-fix approach that strikes me as the most promising comes from — surprise! — General Motors, the chief villain of 'Who Killed the Electric Car?' The Chevy Volt, which the company wants to bring to market in 2010, is a plug-in hybrid that aspires to be able to travel 40 miles before switching to gasoline power. But the best part is that the combustion engine will automatically recharge the battery — so it can switch back even while you’re driving." Huh? What about the here-and-now Toyota Prius? Especially as it's headed for plug-in-itude. Nope. "It’s not sexy like the Tesla, and it’s not aerodynamic like the Aptera Typ-1. But for a mass-market solution in the here and now, [the Volt's] the one to root for." 

TTAC's Best and Brightest have spoken. They demand independent, truthful and snarky video content– in addition to the excellent prose they already enjoy. Being the Road Test Editor, I have listened,and heeded. Last month, while testing a Jaguar XF, I decided to record my roadtrip in the Jaguar to Shiprock, New Mexico with the 1.3 megapixel video camera on my cellphone, for my own sake. Most of the narration was done by Andrew Cleary, a Welsh-educated Canadian who will be moving to Syria. I have since spliced the clips together, in a small, and extremely low-budget preview of a semi-professional Jaguar XF Supercharged video shoot we wrapped last Sunday. Myself, and two of my Captain cohorts– one with a degree in film making, the other cast as an extra in the Transformer's movie (look closely, and you will see my crew onboard the AWACS, those were real Capt Mike's!). We spent an entire afternoon shooting scenes and even a car chase involving a Mustang GT around Lake Stanley Draper. So please enjoy this teaser while we get our very first TTAC Video Review together.

The automotive industry is the global leader in greenwashing. Whether through highly-touted donations to activist groups, misleading advertisements or assorted implausible claims, automakers will do most anything (or in some nothing) to seem eco-friendly. The New York Times reports that the ad men are worried that many consumers can discern now disingenuous environmental claims from environmental action. The Grey Lady traveled to Cannes for an annual ad industry knees-up, and found that green claims are being dialed back to the point reflecting reality. Forget morality, it's one of those impact deals. "After 18 months, levels of concern on any issue tend to drop off," said Jonathan Banks, Nielsen UK's business insight director. Another problem: watchdog groups are fact checking green claims. Britain's A.S.A. and the America's F.T.C. are looking into tightening eco-ad standards. How long before automakes can't advertise highway mpgs?

A couple of months ago, we ran a survey to find out a bit about our Best and Brightest. Our opt-in survey (with all that implies) asked about how often you visit and what you do while you're here, your car buying habits, involvement in the automotive hobby and (of course) some of the usual standard demographic stuff. Needless to say, we didn't tell you how to answer it, like your  friendly neighborhood dealership service department. The results are in and here they are. The PDF has numeric scores from most questions with a summary of the open-ended questions. It's given us an insight to who our customers are and how we can improve the quality of our product. And believe me… we'll look at every comment you made. Thanks to all who participated. BTW: advertisers need apply.

Click here for survey results