As readers of our General Motors Death Watch know, GM e-rotweiler and junket dispenser Christopher Barger thinks TTAC is WAY too negative. At least we're not double negative. Check out the Director of GM Global Communications Technology's response to a CNBC poll. Phil LeBeau asked readers to choose one of four culprits– management, unions, SUVaphilia or Toyondissan– for GM's sagging stock price and rapidly declining fortunes. Barger sent a "now hold on a god damn minute" email to LeBeau which tells us exactly how GM's spinning their [death] spiral: it's the economy, stupid. "In fact, these economic headwinds are taking their toll on virtually every American business and industry — and consumers from all walks of life too. Singling out one company for criticism when the entire economy is struggling seems a bit unfair, don't you think? It's kind of like blaming one person for being out of work when unemployment is on the rise." (Tell that to Honda.) There's a lot of B.S. to wade through, from GM strengthening its brands, to the fact that the automaker sells eight (count 'em eight) hybrids, to "our products can go toe-to-toe with anything on the market today." Barger's central message: fuck the past. "I think it's more constructive to look forward and to try to continue improving things, don't you?" As the old saying goes, those who don't learn from history have a bright future in corporate PR.

Like us, Edmunds.com keeps an eye on monthly car sales. And by God they have noticed a trend! Or, a "Seismic Shift," as they demurely put it. Yes folks, its true: Americans are *gasp* buying fewer trucks and SUV's in favor of *gasp* more fuel efficient crossovers and compact cars. But don't ask the year-to-date sales numbers or blame four dollar gas, because Edmunds has analysis. "The (seismic) shift" writes Edmunds scribe Dale Buss "has occurred both in actual transactions and in shopping trends measured on the Edmunds.com site. Until March, this pattern of segment migration had been accelerating markedly but rather gradually. But a 10 percent increase in U.S. gasoline prices in March and April alone, to an average of $3.44 a gallon, appears to have provided the catalyst for a shift that is bigger and faster than any ever tracked by Edmunds.com." Wait, did he just say "shopping trends on the Edmunds.com website"? To be fair, you could learn a thing or two from Edmunds. Take their insistence on categorizing the Honda Accord and Chevy Malibu as "compact" cars. Sure, the EPA calls the Accord a "large car" and the Malibu a "midsize"… but they only base that off of the actual interior volume. Jamming these cars into the "compact" category and then calling it a statistical "seismic shift" is a pretty laughable ploy. Ultimately, the facts of auto sales trends speak pretty well for themselves. And yes, by facts I do mean actual transactions.

What's the downside? Seems no one at Honda asked that question when the automaker decided to hire a team of 19 skydivers to form the word "Honda" in mid-air. In three minutes and 20 seconds. Live. On British national TV. The spot falls under (so to speak) Honda's new ad campaign: "If it's difficult, it's worth doing." If something goes seriously wrong, the Honda ad will test the limits of another, showbiz-oriented strapline "There's no such thing as bad publicity." The Guardian makes no mention of the ad's central lure– the possibility of death. It does, however, reports that Honda's already tested the concept. (So that's alright, then.) "The stunt is a means of gaining publicity for Honda's new multi-million pound ad campaign, which features 45 skydivers promoting the Honda Accord by creating a series of shapes over the Mojave desert to reflect new features on the car." i-VTEC® this! So why risk risking lives to do it live? ""We wanted to create something unmissable and what better way to produce something 'must see' than to stage the first live ad event on TV," Channel 4's sales director, Andy Barnes revealed. "It's about creating talkability on a big scale, managing the risk and being seen as pioneers for it." Let's hope "managing the risk" doesn't turn into paying off someone's widow. 

In their latest commercials Subaru tells us that dumping a junk car in the wilderness or driving a car you can't see out of equate to some strange form of love. The first shows some environmentally-challenged dufus driving two days to take his old Forester to "Subaru heaven," which consists of a spot somewhere in an otherwise pristine wilderness area where other Subaru owners have abandoned their worn-out rides. There, apparently, they sit until they rust to pieces, releasing their various petrochemical-based fluids and toxic metals into the environment instead of being responsibly recycled and reused. The other shows someone who must come from the same genetic pool as that guy because he refuses to wash his Outback, claiming it's a "badge of honor" and that he'll "let the universe take care of it." He'd better hope the universe is taking car of him when he pulls out in front of that bus or runs over that motorcycle in the lane next to him because his windows are so nasty he can't see what's around him. And this comes from a company that not long ago bragged about how their factory is a wildlife preserve and how safe their cars are. Maybe they just don't expect their customers to share their "values."

As we've chronicled here umpteen times, dozens of automotive websites and publications pull their punches on GM product reviews to maintain good relations (i.e. ad bucks, press cars and junkets) with The General. It's an understandable– if entirely lamentable– phenomena. But who'd a thunk the non-automotive blogosphere could be bought so easily? Actually, us. You may recall that Justin and I infiltrated a roomful of non-car GM junketeers– including a manic mommy from manicmommies.com. According to Automotive News [AN, sub], GM's "director of global communications technology" is still hard at it. Christopher Barger's got five full-time employees working on with "hundreds" of bloggers. Barger won't reveal his budget for blogging black bag ops, but justifies it easily. "Readers are paying more attention to individual bloggers, frankly, than they are to us as a source of credible information." Hey Chris, got that right. And while we await Barger to send us 800 words, we'd like to point out that Automotive News and GM have neglected to mention gaywheels.com, a major beneficiary of The General's largess. Surely GM and AN wouldn't want the gay community to think they were hiding or purposely downplaying their relationship, would they? 

Jay Leno, NBC comedian and car fanatic, would like to offer Motown's maven some independent analysis. So he does, via msnbc.com. "The type of vehicles America makes best are, unfortunately, not the type of vehicles that people really want anymore… Where we seem to lose it is in the low-bucks econocar… I believe that, all things being equal, Americans will buy American. It just has to be as good as the competition; it doesn’t have to be better… If you look at the new line of G.M. cars, they are almost as good as what the Europeans are doing… America does technology well, and I think this is how the companies will bring those buyers back. I think cars like the Chevy Volt, which is entirely battery-powered, or hydrogen cars from Chrysler, Ford and G.M. will take off…. One last thing: No matter what happens, do not expect all American cars to go Eurosize. American buttocks are not getting any smaller." So, aside from Jay's belief that close enough for rock and roll is close enough for rock and roll, and setting aside the issue of what constitutes an American car (Aveo? Accord?), and the fact that the Volt is actually a hybrid and a whole bunch of other stuff, the funnyman nails it. What do you reckon: Bob Lutz Award nominee?

Since it began, TTAC has called on all automotive publication to publish disclosure of all manufacturer-provided travel, lodging, food and gifts. The worst offenders: car sections of local newspapers. And no wonder; they remain one of the few profitable portions of many otherwise failing publications. To wit: Joe Clark's [Fawny Blog] take on the Toronto Star's Wheels section. Calling Wheels "a giant moneymaker" for the paper, Clark links to an editorial where the paper agrees that "accepting free travel to preview cars is not ethically or journalistically sound." So  no car junkets, right? Wrong. The Star simply hires freelancers and "outsources unethical behaviour." A quote from freelancer Ted Laturnus in an article in the Ryerson Review Of Journalism says it all. "All I can say to the people who think we shouldn't be taking free trips is, 'Go fuck yourself. Come back to me when you've grown up.' They don't know the side of reality to this business. I do. I've been in it for 20 years. I have no patience for that sorta thing. It's the way the game is played." Note to Ted: we're here to change the rules.

Jeremy Clarkson's strident, xenophobic and bombastic opinions aside, he's a rare bird, a true master of the craft. Case in point: former car salesman and failed Top Gear presenter Jason Dawe. "How to test drive a car properly" begins in the great Clarksonian "I'll get to the car bit when I bloody feel like it" tradition, trying to amuse us with tales from the mattress department. (Snoring is sooooo funny.) And then… "How can you possibly get a proper feel for a new car when you find yourself driving around the local industrial estate with an over anxious salesman sat beside you bellowing into his mobile and indicating the next turn back to the garage? Rental offers a very simple solution, with a lot of the main fleets offering a huge choice of vehicles. The chances are that if you have your eye on a car, your local rental agency will be able to get it for you. And hire doesn’t have to be expensive – ignore the published tariffs and do some bargaining – you might be surprised at the deals with which you could end up. For the sake of spending just a couple of hundred pounds for a week’s rental, you could save yourself thousands if you find the car isn’t for you." I suppose if you're looking for the car that isn't for you, a rental is as good a place as any in which to look. And now a word from our sponsor– I mean another word from our sponsor: "Avis confirm that rental experiences influence new car buying decisions. On handing back the rental car 44% of UK renters said they were slightly or much more likely to add the model to their next new car shopping list." So Jason, which is it: slightly or much more likely? 

TTAC's general policy on press embargoes: no. RF believes that any media outlet that agrees to keep their mouth shut on behalf of a manufacturer is colluding with that manufacturer against the consumer's best interest. And yet, this morning, that's exactly what I did. I signed a piece of paper at the press launch for Ford Flex crossover– without reading the fine print. Which committed me to hanging fire until mid-June. And so I must honor that agreement. (For this I went to law school?) I have re-written my previous post to exclude any and all driving impressions gleaned during the Flex launch. The full review will appear as Ford desires: on June 12. I apologize without reservation to Ford for violating our agreement, and to any of my colleagues who may feel aggrieved by TTAC's "premature" post. 

GMNext "team member" (and former AutoWeek freelancer) Chris Terry "reveals" what we've known since we hung out with Maximum Bob in a small, windowless room at The New York Auto Show: the Camaro is looking at a turbo-four. While the pony car faithful are still choking on their Cheerios, ADD-afflicted GM's echoing hybridcars.com's claim that turbos could well be the "new hybrid." "As Europeans have known for the better part of a decade, turbos are tomorrow’s 'replacement for displacement' (although Europe’s inclination towards the turbo has to do with emissions laws and fuel taxes that favor diesels, almost all of which have turbos)… The enthusiast in me says, 'If this is the future of motoring, I’m all for it.'" It's kind of creepy to know that a PR flack is possessed by a car enthusiast. And you'd think Terry would acknowledge U.S. fuel economy and emissions regulations in his ode to blowers. But most importantly, he doesn't answer his headline writer's question. To fill that gap, we offer: turbo-charged engines' [manufacturer-recommended] preference for premium fuel (currently .25 per gallon more expensive than regular), the fact that turbos are most efficient when you don't actually use them (say, during federal fuel economy testing), the possibility of higher maintenance costs and, well, other stuff. 

Autoblog is asking if the "Volkswagen Tiguan Diesel Launch Delayed in US?" I'm happy to answer that question for them. No, it's not delayed. If your flight is supposed to get in at 2 PM, the fact that it is not getting in at 1 PM doesn't make it delayed. It makes 2 PM the time the plane is supposed to land. Autoblog is hypothesizing that there probably won't be a 2009 model year VW Tiguan with the 2.0-liter TDI engine. This was the plan was all along– not that it's a good plan, mind you. But Europe is really, really loving VW's 2.0-liter TDI engine right now, especially in the Tiguan. VW can't build 'em fast enough. So while the Tiguan 2.0-liter TDI would be a somewhat hit here in the States, it's a grand slam home run (game-winning penalty kick?) for VW in Europe.The 2.0-liter TDI engine will eventually make it stateside in the Jetta and Jetta Sportswagon. But you knew that back in March, when I asked one of VW's execs, and then passed the news along to you.

Jackie Gleason and Art Carney. That's a double act. Twitchy and numb. That's a nightmare. But I figured, what the Hell; no one else seemed to notice the Accord's dangerous steering feel and sales are chugging along like The Little Engine That Could after cresting the mountaintop. But now USA Today car reviewer James R. Healey has finally declared that the Emperor is severely under-dressed. Healey says the new Acura TSX' "steering was a big minus in the loaded test car. That could be a deal-breaker for some, especially in a sports sedan where all controls should be excellent. Trying to broaden the car's appeal, Acura has fussed with the steering until it's a bit too boosted at lower speed and has little on-center feel at highway speed, forcing you to make little steering motions constantly to keep the car in its lane." In other words, it sucks– in the loaded test car ('cause God forbid Healey should fail to provide Honda PR with a bit of wiggle room). But wait! That not not all! "Overall, the TSX was relentlessly edgy, which seemed to be the result of a misguided attempt at sportiness… the ride was consistently choppy, even on nearly smooth roads. The suspension simply seemed too stiff. On some bumps, the front failed to absorb the entire impact and made the tail do funny things as it sponged the leftover bump shock." Sounds like a hoot. Unfortunately, Healey just can't bring himself to deliver the coupe de grace, declaring the TSX "Sporty to a fault; incongruously imprecise steering." As opposed to?

What's with Avis' depiction of a Saab as a jilted [male] lover in this version of "Your Other Car" ad campaign? Any pistonhead worth his TTAC bookmark will immediately clock the cuckold as a "classic" Saab 900, produced from 1978 – 1993. (Anyone recognize the locale?) While that makes the ad's "star" a pre-GM model (in development terms), Avis rents GM products. The old Saab's design is not that different than the current models. And if they aren't similar looking enough for instant identification, they should be; when GM killed the hatch, they killed Saab. I digress. My main point: why didn't Avis choose a more generic, non-GM car for this diss, as they do for the other ads in the series? And why didn't Saab's brand managers protect the brand's heritage? What else have they got?

– 

As you probably know, TTAC is an R-rated site. After a discussion with our readers, we decided to allow swearing on both sides of the editorial curtain, subject to existing anti-flaming regs. In this Brave New e-World, the fall-out from our "no bad word left behind" policy has been… non-existent. Even so, you can hardly expect our good friends over at G-rated, AOL-owned Autoblog to allow 'effing and blinding (although flaming and trolling doesn't seem to be an issue). So it's no surprise that John Neff's blog on a swear-laden "That's a Saturn?" ad provides some unavoidable comic relief. "Steve Hall at AdGabber found a different version of the commercial, which we'll call 'That's a f@#$% Saturn!'. It seems after they had gotten the footage that Saturn's ad agency requested, the actors, director and production crew had some fun and made a different, rated R version of the commercial that probably more closely resembles reality than the canned responses in the original commercial." Reality? Aside from the Sky (anyone remember the Sky?), no one's ever done a verbal double take on a Saturn. More importantly. this is not a bunch of bored actors "goofing off." It's an officially-sanctioned viral-ready production (mission accomplished) designed to get slackers to "rethink" Saturn's flag-waving, American-as-apple-pie image. Call me a fucking hypocrite, but I liked "The Different Kind of Car Company's" picnics, honesty and just plain folks approach. The swearing Saturnalia may make industry insiders chuckle, but this will not play well in Peoria. 

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This "article" by Sam Moses appeared on an newsletter/website called autowriters.com, an Inside Baseball-type publication for automotive journalists. When I read the not-so-divine Mr. M's diatribe, I was more than slightly miffed. His rant completely misrepresents Frank Williams' editorial on automotive reviews in newspapers. So I called autowriter.com's main main, Glenn F. Campbell. I asked the publisher point blank if he'd actually read Frank's article. Nope. But that was O.K. because it's OK to publish someone's opinion, even if it is factually inaccurate or, in this case, devoid of factual justification. When I reminded Campbell that he's legally liable for libel (just to tweak his nose), Campbell didn't get it. "You said there were no facts cited so what could I check  – to see if my opinions agree with Sam’s? Homogenous opinions would make a dull, narrow-minded Newsletter." And yet, that's what he's created. I've calmed down enough to see the unintentional humor of Mr. Moses' TTAC attack. Still, I think it's important for our readers to contemplate the full glory of what we're up against, day in, day out.  

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