Marketing Daily reports that Lexus is set to tout their mondo hybridity in a new ad campaign. The mag says the automaker's new hybrid-touting TV spot shows a classroom "where a teacher suddenly pauses as kids are doing the alphabet because the h has gone missing; a guy looks quizzically at a sign for a "otel"; a woman typing on a computer finds that the H key is blank, as is the h in Yahoo; a pickup truck in the desert passes a sign reading "Welcome to Uta"; a TV announcer reports a story sans the letter h." The announcer reveals that all the h's have "simply found a better place to live; one that looks forward, not back." Which must please Yahoo no end. Or maybe it does; Lexus uses Yahoo! Autos Groups for the forum accompanying its new website, ThePowerofH.com. A site that tells us that "h" is "the power of change" that stands for "an unshakable belief that every problem has a solution and technology will lead us to it." I guess these guys missed all those B-grade sci fi movies that disproved that theory but good. Meanwhile, here's my fave Lexus hybrid ad. [NB: I smoke drugs.] 

So, here it is. Click here for Audi's new Superbowl head. I mean, ad. It's a recreation of the scene from the Godfather wherein the Hollywood producer Jack Woltz refuses Don Corleone's request to cast Johnny Fontane (a.k.a. Frank Sinatra) in his new war film. Woltz wakes up with his favorite horse's head in his bed. In this case, the actor wakes up to a car grill and some greasy bits, courtesy of Audi and the new R8. OK, hang on here. If I read this right, the guy in the bed is a luxury car buyer who refuses to consider the R8 as his new luxury car. The fact that producer discovers a generic grill– not a Merc, BMW, Rolls, Bentley, whatever– is a MAJOR wimp-out from Audi. The fact that Audi is portrayed as a criminal enterprise that terrorizes its own [potential] customers is a MAJOR violation of the old adage "never insult the customer." And what does this do to "redefine" luxury? Nothing. We'll be talking to an expert on commercials tomorrow. But as far as I can tell, this Audi ad shows a lack of originality (ipso facto). Worse, it casts Audi, a German automaker, as a bunch of evil bastards. Still, nice car. I give it a D. Meanwhile, one wonders how much Audi paid TTAC reviewer Jay Shoemaker's boss to inflict this homage on a suspecting public.

Under former Toyota Prez Jim Press, Chrysler has decided to get a bit more touchy-feeling with their customers. Nothing wrong with that. Their new blog, Chryslerlistens.com, follows GMNext.com's desire to pay lip service to web 2.0 establish closer contact between automaker and consumer. In case you thought Chrysler might begin this exercise in e-Glasnost with a mea culpa of some kind (as if) or at least a little humility, a writer named Jordan Graham opens the "dialogue" with a mighty blast of bombast. "In case you hadn't heard (living in a cave, perhaps?), Chrysler has unleashed the mother of all promotions, aptly titled 'New Day.' Calling this a 'major deal' would be akin to calling the Jeep® Wrangler 'outdoorsy.'" Wow; insult the customer to draw them into a conversation. I've got one thing to say about that: 0 comments. Anyway, we Googled the unattributed Jordan. LinkedIn tells us that he's a "Writer – Electronic and Broadcast Media; Executive Speeches at Chrysler LLC." In the past, he was "Marketing Communications Intern at Michigan Suburbs Alliance; Marketing Communications Intern at Michigan Veterinary Specialists." Some might say Jordan's elevation to spokesperson for Chryslerlistens.com indicates the company's gone to the dogs, but I couldn't possibly comment. Anyway, here's Graham's intro to this ad: "Without further ado, some visual aids to help you process this mind-blowing development…" 

Do you like violent land acquisition games? You're in luck! And we even know the ad schedule for this weekend's Bowl of Superness; the playbook leaked out onto the net (was it secret to begin with?). Not surprisingly– considering the perks (Percs?) bestowed upon the top brass funding the athletic endeavor– the auto industry will be attempting to divert you from the salsa. The cost for 30-seconds of your (and a billion of your friends') time: $2.7m. Or less. Here's the run down.

First Quarter:
Audi finally unleashes the ad that's supposed to redefine luxury: "Audi selected The Godfather as a thematic foundation for its Super Bowl ad because the film expresses the idea of a new power rising in an established hierarchy." Stop smoking the ad crack boys; the Godfather is about a bunch of hoodlums killing hoodlums to become the top hoodlums. How's that for a business plan? Cars.com uses their 30 seconds of fame to persuade you to visit their slow, boring, bloated website to increase your buying confidence. I'm not hotlinking their page because I'd have to call it tepid-linking, and that doesn't sound right. Bridgestone will remind you that tires are important, and theirs are worth buying.

Second quarter:
Rumor had it that Chevy was going to try to keep viewers from heading to the toilet by explaining the transition from gas-friendly to gas-free. Now GM's spot will show one or more hybrids from Chevy, Saturn or GMC. Toyota will debut the new Corolla. Here's hoping the game is still exciting.

Third Quarter:
More Bridgestone, then more Cars.com. The Cars.com ad will include Alice Cooper and Richard Simmons having sex in a Chevrolet HHR. Or something like that. Hyundai really will attempt to redefine luxury, launching the new Genesis rear wheel-drive budget luxury sedan. The ad will attempt to make Mercedes, BMW and Lexus owners feel like they're suckers. Hyundai will take a second bite of the advertising apple to present… It's OK honey, I'll get the beer.

Fourth Quarter:
Toyota's 30-second spot about the Sequoia will be "family focused." As Toyota is already airing a family focused Sequoia ad, perhaps they're moving from high mileage to recycling.

[See the rundown here. TTAC will provide post-game Audi ad analysis on Monday]

Thompson Financial News (via) Forbes reports that Ford wants to make a clean break with its Jaguar and Land Rover brands. When Tata Motors takes control of the "crown jewels" in Ford's never-mighty Premier Automotive Group, Alan Mulally's minions don't want to retain a minority stake in either firm. While Autoblog is busy worrying "if Tata has the infrastructure to supply Jag and L.R. with the necessary components, from drivetrains to switch knobs," the real story is that Ford's U.K. trade unions are balking at the prospect. They're [justifiably] afraid that Tata will shutter both brand's UK ops post-purchase, threatening 16,500 union jobs. To soothe the savage beast, Tata is launching a charm offensive; they're flying union reps to India to enjoy high class call girls in luxury hotels (a.k.a. "the VW plan"). Just kidding. "Ford officials and trade union members are expected to visit Tata Motors' plant at Pune in the western Indian state of Maharashtra in a fortnight to gather first hand knowledge of Tata Motors' expertise." Yeah, that ought to calm them down.

The British media is all a-twitter this morning over a video posted on YouTube that shows a driver pushing his Vauxhall Cavalier to 125mph down the the M23 in Sussex. According to BBC News, the police are looking for him. They've also warned other potential scofflaws that anyone filming such activities could themselves be filmed and hauled into court. While YouTube said the video was not "considered offensive" and would not be removed, apparently the user, "paulscav," took it down (when I searched for it, YouTube said the account was closed). Meanwhile, the Royal Auto Club (RAC) Foundation is calling for all website operators to remove clips "that glorify speeding on public roads." In the spirit of international relations and all that, we'd like to do our part by showing the RAC how it's done right– I mean, wrong, in a Ford GT at 200mph.

Wow! That's fast! Faster than GM fastest Corvette, the ZR1, which looks like it's going to be a really fast car. Of course, it's not what you might call true: the Tesla Roadster can't even make its long-promised sub-four second zero to sixty sprint, never mind hitting the ton in that time. But expecting GM's Car Czar to have a handle on motorized minutia is like expecting Bill Gates to go on Safari. To wit, Bob told Autonet.ca how he's ironing-out some of the plug-in electric – gas hybrid Volt's "issues." “In the first year, we’re not going to be in super-mass production," Bob revealed. "We’ll do about 10,000 units, and keep them fairly close to home so we can deal with any issues before we really crank up for high volumes." What exactly does that mean? That Chevrolet will only sell Volts in the mid-west– perhaps to GM employees– until they can work out the kinks? Does that make any sense? Do we believe it? Does Bob Lutz believe it? What about statements like “We’re finally breaking out of this thing where we’re selling only to our owners.” Hang on; if GM's market share is declining AND they're gaining conquest sales, does that mean they're losing loyal customers at the same time? Here's a more important question: why are so many journalists following Lutz' seemingly endless trips down the rabbit-hole? Don't they know Wonderland when they see it?

Hey, the entry form for iAfrica's competition for VW track instruction at the Kyalami Grand Prix Circuit doesn't say anything about residency requirements. If you scoop their prize (chosen entirely at random of course), you'll attend the VW Driving Academy to gain "practical experience and confidence in dealing with potential dangers — from avoiding collisions to the optimal way to respond in a hijack situation." (Hint: aim you Glock at their chest, not their head.) After spending the morning hooning about on the skidpan and an executive lunch ("I eat executives for lunch"), you will "move onto the racetrack for some driving sessions around the circuit, brake distance recognition and an ESP exercise" (I'm thinking of a number). While I wait for the caffeine to wear-off, an insider's tip: don't send them the R32 engine's output in 'Merican-style horsepower stats. Think Reddy Kilowatt. 

[Complete list of RSA's VW driving courses here] 

"We're showing you this car earlier than Dodge wants us to because similar images are on the Web, and we don't think you should have to wait." Translation: please don't punish us Chrysler! Someone else broke the press embargo. Oh, and we LOVE you dear reader. Puh-lease. Anyway, Autoweek has broken the Challenger SRT-8's embargo cherry, revealing hi-res pics that show us The Doge Boys' plain Jane four-wheeled freight train. I'm sorry (if only because the muscle car fanboys are likely to descend on this post like a plague of big bore locusts), but I'm done with the whole retro-mod muscle car thing– and not because of concerns for our planet's health and well-being. I reckon if you morph the Charger, the Challenger and the [now you don't] Camaro, you'd end-up with a car that looks a lot like the Charger, Challenger and Camaro. Or the next Mustang. And don't get me started about back seats. While I LOVE big, gas-gargling V8s, can we move on here please? The Chrysler 300 proved that Detroit knows how to do the next gen bad-ass car thing. Gentlemen, it's time to move forward. 

Late last year, The New York Times hired long-time Detroit News cheerleader Bill Vlasic. Fans of the man will be glad to learn that the auto scribe has stayed true to his roots. Writing for The Old Gray lady, Vlasic pens a paean to Ford CEO Alan Mulally's global integration plans; an essay that finds the silver lining in Ford's arterial spray of red ink. "Much of his focus since joining Ford 16 months ago has been on cutting costs and jobs. And more buyouts were announced on Thursday, when the company reported that it had narrowed its overall losses in 2007 to $2.7 billion, a major improvement after its wrenching $12.6 billion loss in 2006. But with the shrinking of Ford’s core United States business nearly done, Mr. Mulally is eager to get its global operations hitting on all cylinders." Sounds great! So, tell us about Big Al's Boeing-like plan to consolidate Ford's platforms. How many do they have, how many do they want, and how are they going to build compelling local products on a world platform? "Mr. Mulally declined to specify how many platforms Ford had now or discuss its goal for consolidation. But he gushed at the savings the company could realize by spreading its costs over more international models. 'Seventy percent of our total volume will be on eight platforms by 2012,' he said. 'You can only imagine what a tremendous improvement that will be.'" Looks like Mulally found the right guy for that job.

You know the old joke that ends "We've already established what you are. We're just haggling over price"? Same deal here. Despite public outcry that forced Mayor Bloomberg to make congestion charging someone else's fault– a 17 member commission– The New York Times wants to keep the "dream" alive. Apparently, congestion charging is THE answer to gridlock. "London proved as much when it adopted congestion pricing, charging drivers to use certain streets. Traffic moved faster, tailpipe emissions went down and the fees collected went to improve public transportation." Uh, no. No. And no. While The Old Gray Lady is ready for NYC motorists to lay down (bend over?) for a regressive tax/PC money grab, the newspaper of record doesn't like "the unworkable suggestion of rationing entry to the city each day based on the last digit of license plates. There are other duds, including the idea — sure to die in Albany — of putting tolls on toll-free bridges over the East and Harlem Rivers. An $8 surcharge on taxi rides, part of another proposal, is another nonstarter." Those crazy commissioners, eh? And the winner is… forcing "most cars $8 and trucks $21 to drive on the city’s busiest streets during weekdays." Fare enough?

On the subject of the contest between GM and Toyota for the title "World's Largest Automaker," Autoblog jeffe John Neff accepts an unnamed source (via Reuters) and pronounces GM the winner. Strangely (for a man who's devoted a sizable chunk of cyber-space to the battle), Neff writes that "owning this title makes little difference to either automaker." Readers familiar with Toyota's profits– which dwarf GM's– would be forgiven for thinking that's where Neff's going. Readers familiar with Toyota's growing U.S. market share– as opposed to GM's shrinking market share– would also be forgiven for thinking that's where the story is about to go. Uh-uh. "Even if Toyota does pass GM in global sales for 2008, however, we don't expect it will be able to keep the title for very long before the General snaps it back. GM has a stronger presence in China and is doing very well in emerging markets, while Europeans seem to have taken a liking to the Chevy brand over there. If GM can get its U.S. sales back up, we expect it will remain the world's largest automaker." And as my Dad likes to say, if my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a trolley car.

[FYI John Neff discusses blogs vs. the trad media with his pals here.] 

In the interest of balanced reporting, we bring you the following thoughts on the Subaru WRX STi from Terry Box, the Dallas News' erstwhile car critic: "Remember how pudgy and plain your old girlfriend looked at the last high school reunion and then you saw her six months later [and] she was cut-and-buff, a woman suddenly with muscle and attitude and presence. That's the way I view the '08 Subaru WRX STI." Yes folks, the same car Jeremy Clarkson destroyed in The Sunday Times gets a glowing review in the Dallas News. Like Clarkson, Box had problems with the myriad of controls festooning the center console. Unlike Clarkson, "it didn't matter." And so it goes. Box gums the car a bit ("you'll just have to accept that Subaru apparently put most of its money into the engine and suspension, not the dashboard and door panels"), and then gushes all over the poor thing ("around 3,000, the fuse gets lit, and the car rushes to 6,000 rpm so quickly that mere mortals will struggle to shift fast enough to keep up with the motor"). At least Box didn't denigrate those who buy the WRX STI and enjoy driving it. But as you'd expect from a car review where advertising limits editorial freedom, the plain unvarnished truth doesn't get a look in. 

Once again, pictures of a new car have leaked onto the web before the manufacturer's official debut date. Sometimes this sort of thing is an actual leak involving skullduggery, corporate betrayal, miniature cameras and journalistic derring-do. These days, it's usually a manufacturer's thinly-veiled attempt to whip-up interest in a relatively mundane product. Anyway, as you can see on Autozeitung's website, the changes to the new Mercedes SL-class roadster are hardly revolutionary. The new bits primarily involve the front clip, where a RetroBig grill now resides (RetroBig is my name, not theirs). The SL's headlights have also morphed, from ugly double blobs to somewhat different ugly blobs. Looking at the front of this thing, you can't help but wonder if the outgoing model's a more reasonable evolution of the old 1990s Mercedes SL500. The next gen's front end looks more like a mutation. Other changes include a hideous bodykit all the way around, fishier gills on the side and an even more schizophrenic interior. Seeing one for yourself in person is the only real way to be the judge. In the meantime, the takeaway word for the new SL: busy.