Energy Business Review reports that French hypermarketeers System U are pulling the plug on their bio-ethanol pumps for one simple reason: no one's buying E85. Needless to say, critics of the critics who criticize E85– including the publication's "staff writer"– view the move as insupportable. "Plans to stop selling the fuel are being driven by a lack of consumer demand, perhaps because the French government has not yet developed a taxation system that offers sufficient incentives for motorists to purchase E85 vehicles." Zut alors! Meanwhile, System U has betrayed the farmer-friendly French government's best laid plans. "This marks a further setback for the French government, which had set an objective to open 500 E85 stations by the end of 2007, but has seen only approximately 200 installed to date." In Total? "French fuel retailer Total made an agreement with the French government through which it was to open 400 of the 500 planned E85 sites by the end of 2007. However, Total has only installed E85 pumps at 35 of its service stations." So who's the scélérat here? "By focusing tax benefits purely on tailpipe emissions, to the detriment of the fuel's carbon-positive effects, the government has been unable to provide an environment in which demand for E85 can flourish. 'End Intelliext." C'est la vérité, n'est-ce pas? 

According to The Economic Times, your local Audi will be singing the car body electric 2018. In fact, Audi chairman of the board Rupert Stadler says he expects diesel and battery technology "to dominate" automotive propulsion in the next five to ten years. "By then we will offer cars without exhaust emissions," Stadler promised, revealing his evil plan to transfer all the carbon burning stuff to power plants. When asked if he felt Audi was "falling behind" rivals Mercedes and BMW in the whole lithium-ion battery-powered hybrid thing, Stadler claimed Audi has a greater [flux] capacity for research than its German competitors. So… Stadler claimed "electric cars offer great opportunities, which we have already seized on." Ooooh. We LIKE hints. But then we're not stock manipulators. 

Chevy has its Cobalt XFE, VW its special Polo Bluemotion edition. And now Ford has joined the party, at least in Europe with a special edition Focus called ECOnetic. Manufacturers are getting this down to a bit of a formula and that's a very good thing. Better bumpers, more flush wheel covers, lower resistance tires, and in this case "lower viscosity transmission fluid" all contribute to the mileage and CO2 improvements. The benefit? Fifty-five American miles per gallon on the combined cycle (though their testing methods are considerably more forgiving than American fuel economy standards) and low enough CO2 emissions that the car will be exempt from London's congestion charge. The secret, of course, is that Ford's Focus 1.6 diesel already qualifies for exemption, but don't tell the advertising guys. Still, this is unfortunate news that perhaps the market can adapt to more intense fuel and emissions standards, albeit with limited run special edition versions of existing cars. And no, for the last time, we can't have the Euro Focus in America for a few more years because Ford hates each and every one of us.

Why did Daimler AG– already involved in aerospace, a French limousine company, synthetic fuel and (God help them) Chrysler– purchase 22 percent of Tognum AG? The German carmaker claims its €585 million investment in the  fabricator of engines for agricultural threshers, military tanks and ships– makes good business sense 'cause Tognum is a major supply-chain partner. Hey, it's new tech! New markets! But wait, there's more! Under the prosaic project name "Business Innovation," CEO Dieter "no corporate diet" Zetsche has charged several high-ranking managers with finding new targets for synergy (a.k.a. whatever). Automobilwoche agrees with analysts and investors who find this acquisition strategy deeply worrisome. "There can only be one reason for Zetsche to be interested in unrelated businesses: apparently Daimler does not see enough growth prospects in its core business of making cars." The news that Daimler is getting back into its old conglomerate habit "should be alarming to any investor," says the German magazine. Looks like Daimler's ability to keep to the old adage "stick to the knitting" is coming undone.

According to Automobilwoche, FIAT signed an agreement to purchase 70 percent of Yugoslavia's Zastava in Belgrade Wednesday. This is a marriage made in Heaven — if you're a comedian. Picture Jay Leno combining Yugo jokes with "Fix It Again, Tony" witticisms. Or Stephen Colbert commenting on a car the grandchildren of Mussolini would build in joyful cooperation with the children of Milosevic. FIAT is investing 700 million Euros in a new modernized plant which will build 200,000 subcompact cars in (you guessed it) 2010 with a new mid-class car to follow. And the punchline of the biggest joke? The Yugo car Americans loved to hate was derived from a FIAT: the 127 model.

While GM bleeds cash at home, its overseas business continues to fare pretty well. Auto Motor und Sport reports that GM's European Opel division posted a record 572k sales in the first quarter of this year, earning a pre-tax profit of $198m. Although profit is its own reward (and apparently an actual priority for GM), GM is rewarding its German branch with a $9b investment over the next five years. $2.5b of the cash will go towards renovating Opel factories in Rüsselsheim, Kaiserslautern, Bochum und Eisenach. The remaining $6.5b will help Opel bring 17 new passenger cars (and three new commercial vehicles) to market by 2012. And now the bad news: Opel's European market share declined from 9.7 to 9.6 percent. Opel GM-Europe boss Carl-Peter Forster says never mind, pointing to hbis employer's 11.6 percent Russian market, where car sales jumped by 78 percent in the first quarter. "Russia will be Europe's largest car market by next year at the latest," says Forster. With Opel providing several of GM's most popular U.S. products (Saturn Astra and Vue), GM's investment could well keep the sinking ship afloat for an extra quarter or so. Just kidding. On both counts.

Brabus is the German uber-tuner that's made its name taking oversized engines from AMG Benzes and wedging them into smaller, lower-down-the-line models. It's also known for keeping the dark Satanic mills in situ and making them even bigger. And so comes word that the new mega-motored 2008 Brabus SL will be called the R230. Hang on; wasn't there a Benz by that name? And didn't Brabus tune it? You guys really are the Best and Brightest! Anyway, this nose-heavy monster sports (in the ironic sense) a custom turbocharged 6.3-liter V12. Ready? It's got 730 horsepower and 811 ft.-lbs.of torque. Thanks to the five-speed automatic transmission, the industry standard sprint from rest to 60 mph will only occupy four seconds of your valuable (if you can afford this) time. Hey! You just might outrun a stock Corvette! Okay, that was cruel. But true. Also true: AMG will soon offer an SL Black Series with 700-something horsepower AND a factory warranty. And then Brabus will tune that. Madness.

In the quarterly conference call to offer excuses discuss the latest financial report– the one where GM lost $3.5b in Q1— CFO Ray Young reassured someone that GM has no plans to kill any of their eight North American brands in North America. Advertising Age [sub] reports he's standing behind the recent reorganization that divvied-up the brands amongst four marketing chiefs. Young called it it "the right way to go." However, the CFO termed their North American operation's losses last quarter as "unacceptable." (Yeah! Someone should be fired! Oh wait…) GM's North American market share is now down to 21.7 percent, compared to 22.5 percent a year ago. In the global market, The General's share dropped 0.5 percent to 12.5 percent. Without North America's numbers, their share went up 0.1 percent to 9.6 percent. So, instead of addressing the problems at GMNA, the General will "beef up" its overseas activities and put "our foot on the accelerator… and jam it through to the floor" in emerging markets like Russia and India. They'll probably succeed, too. After all, it's a lot easier to peddle utility grade beef to someone who's starving than to discerning diners in the restaurant district.

Worldcarfans reports that Nissan's new GT-R has logged the second fastest-ever lap time around the infamous "Green Hell." "GT-R chief test driver Tochio Suzuki [ED: how ironic is that?] completed the famous Nurburgring circuit in Germany in just 7 minutes 29 seconds. According to our records, this puts the GT-R in second place for fastest laps by unmodified production cars just behind the Pagani Zonda F which posted a time of 7 minutes and 27 seconds last November. The time completely destroys the GT-R's previous best lap of 7 minutes 38 seconds achieved last year in slightly damp conditions." Not to mention what it does to the Porsche Turbo's rep; a car that "only" laps the the 'Ring in 7:40. All that said, is it fair to compare the U.S. street legal $70k (without markup) GT-R to a Euro-spec-only $741k (ish) car that barely achieves double digit production numbers? In short, who's your Daddy?

Business Week's ed forgot the "compare" side of the "compare and contrast" assignment to scribe Ian Rowley re: Japanese and American automakers' fortunes. Wander 'round TTAC for the U.S. side of the equation (hint: falling market share is rarely a good thing). For Japan, BW tells us that reduced targets for operating profits paint a bleak picture for Honda, Mazda and Mitsubishi (trimmed by 32, 29 and 45 percent, respectively). But it ain't all that bad, when you think about it. "All $3 billion of the projected decline in Honda's operating profitability is explained by the yen's sudden rise against the dollar and other currencies. Against the greenback, for example, Honda is projecting a dollar-yen rate of 100, compared to an average of 114 in the previous year. That alone is enough to wipe off $2.4 billion from profits when sales made in dollars are translated back into yen. Yet when it comes to selling vehicles Honda shows few signs of slowing down, despite weak market sales in the U.S. and Japan, its two biggest markets." All the Japanese majors are expanding production– and for good reason. "In markets including China, India, and the Middle East there is a major change in their trend toward higher ownership levels and the Japanese majors are well placed to benefit from this trend,' says Deutsche Bank's Sanger. After a tough 2008, look for an earnings recovery at Japan's carmakers." [NB: Toyota and Nissan have yet to sign-in with their numbers. We'll update you as and when.] 

Motor Authority reports that the Dutch Cycling Federation (their equivalent of AAA) is calling on the Dutch government and the auto industry to make externally-inflating airbags standard issue on all cars. The external airbags would inflate upon impact with a cyclist or pedestrian, absorbing the impact and potentially saving lives. Swedish supplier Autoliv has developed such an airbag already, and Jaguar and Nissan have tested pop-up hoods which deflect pedestrian impacts in a similar manner. Of course, these technologies are too expensive to be included as an available feature on any vehicle, but that isn't stopping the Dutch Cyclists Federation. The spandex crowd claims that by making these technologies standard issue, some 60 lives could be saved each year and some 1,500 injuries prevented in Holland alone. If required by law, the expense would also probably cause most automakers to exit the Dutch market (score one for the cyclists) but at least it might make for some cool "Jackass" stunts. Critics say that cyclists are responsible for their own safety, and that several companies are currently developing an airbag-equipped vest for cyclists. Not that making people pay for their own safety makes any sense…

Malaysia has launched a war on street racing, targeting its hoon-happy citizens. [hoon: 1. lout: a lout or hooligan 2. speeding driver: somebody, especially a young man, who drives fast and recklessly.] Motor Authority reports that the Malay government has proposed a $1500 fine, five-year prison sentence and three-year license suspension for first time road racing offenders. The government threatens to send repeat offenders away for ten years, fine them over $3k and– just to make sure they learn their lesson and indulge S&M-oriented bureaucrats– smack them with a cane three times. The sentences cover all forms of road racing, but they're particularly aimed at Mat Rempits, the step-through scooter hooligans who tear-ass through the streets of the South-East Asian country. We've heard of tank slap before, but this is just ridiculous.

At the Geneva Auto Show, VW showed off its 70mpg diesel-hybrid Golf Concept. The German automaker promised that "the model wouldn't just stay a show car". According to the in-depth preview of the Golf VI in the March 27 issue of Auto, Motor und Sport (print edition only), the "forward-looking diesel-hybrid is already a thing of the past." The culprit (once again): it's too expensive. "Eventually" there will be a hybrid Golf, but it will be a gasser, using the 1.4 TSI engine. In the shorter term, VW will rely on further engine downsizing and an optional start-stop system to meet efficiency targets. The Golf VI, which hits European streets this fall, will never see the USA anyway (except in GTI form, perhaps). In a contrast to the platform-globalization programs of the most other big manufacturers, VW is developing lower-cost replacements for the Rabbit and Passat to be produced in their future US plant. The current Passat costs $4k more than the (Camcord) competition, according to VW. Look to a return of twist-beam rear axles.

The DOT wants to raise CAFE standards even higher. To meet the new standards, automakers will have to downsize and lighten everything they offer. However, their expertise (and profit) is in large trucks/SUVs. Whatever will they do? Well, there's always China. The Associated Press reports China's nouveau riche auto buyers think size does count. They're going for gas guzzlers like large SUVs and luxobarges; they're the fastest-growing market segments in the People's Republic. And the automakers know it. The star of the GM display at the Beijing Auto Show is the Escalade, which they'll introduce to the Chinese market next year. Mercedes says China is the second-largest market for the S-class (the U.S. is the largest), R-class sales are up 110 percent in the first quarter and the M-, G- and GL-class sales are up 100 percent. Remind me again why we're raising our mileage standards to cut fuel consumption here? Oh yeah. We're giving up our gas guzzlers so the most polluted country in the world will have plenty government-subsidized fuel for theirs. Got it.

Well, it only makes sense. You build cars in former communist countries a stone's throw away from the world's most militant (and deeply entrenched) labor unions and it's only a matter of time before the union boys show up and the term "low cost" no longer applies to your Eastern European factories. After reporting the end of the 19-day strike crippling Renault's Romanian Dacia plant, the Financial Times says Eastern Europe's wage inflation mirrors the majors' Spanish/Portuguese experience. "In the mid-1970s… Ford, General Motors, Renault, Peugeot-Citroën, Volkswagen and Fiat all established operations or joint ventures in the Iberian peninsula. But by the late 1990s, Spain had priced itself out of the market as a result of demands for higher wages and improved benefits from car workers and labour unions. A similar pattern seems to be spreading in eastern Europe – with one worrying difference. If it took roughly 20 years for the low-cost cycle to run its course in Spain; the current one looks like it will last only 10 years in eastern Europe." [thanks to starlightmica for the link]