The sun never sets on TTAC’s devious empire. While America Slept (WAS) is a daily round-up of the news that happened in other continents and time-zones. TTAC provides round-the-clock coverage of everything that has wheels. Or that has its wheels coming off. Our pledge: No feelings will be hurt (except those of automobile execs, one copy-writer, and the gravitationally challenged.)

Opel’s ad attack: While other car companies slash ad budgets, GM’s Opel unleashes a Blitzkrieg on the German populace. “Opel Secures Future” blares the banner headline of full page ads appearing in national German newspapers. [NB: The line doesn’t say “Opel’s Future Secure”]. According to Bloomberg, the target of the ad-attack is to “reassure car buyers that may be spooked by the woes of its parent.”  The copy-writer must have been high on something, hyperbole at the very least:  “Opel is financially solid and as a brand and a company not at risk.” Boerse-Express says the true aim of the ads is Opel’s foot: “If they are doing so well, why loan guarantees?” Good question.

GM in denial: RenCen weighs in on the topic, says “Opel is not for sale.” Not because they wouldn’t want to. GM flak Tom Wilkinson tells AFP that brands like Opel “are so integrated into GM’s global operations, we would not or could not sell them.” Darn. Nothing works anymore.

Dealers ready to buy Opel: Opel’s German dealer council met last Tuesday and discussed to buy Opel themselves, before Opel goes under. “This is under serious consideration,” says Paul Schäfer, GM of Opel Staiger in Stuttgart, to Automobilwoche (sub.) The money could be raised. Despite (or because) of GM’s denials, the dealers are worried. In the meantime, non-essential expenses, such as a new CI for dealers or a revamped DMS have been put on ice.

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Just hours after Washington legislators told Rick Wagoner to come-up with a more compelling case for bailout billions, GM’s CEO assured The Detroit News that he’s ready to submit his new new new new new turnaround plan. “We’ve got the plans and are ready to go,” Wagoner told the hometown paper. “We’re not starting from ground zero here.” A rather unfortunate metaphor, and a less than compelling assertion. After all, if Red Ink Rick was ready to rock and roll, why wasn’t he a bit more, uh, forthcoming at the Senate hearing? [Needless to say, the DetN was not impolite enough to pop that particular question, simply stating that “He did not offer any details on what GM’s plan might entail.”] Meanwhile, displaying characteristic sympathy for the working man, Wagoner said that the delay caused by the Congressional recall “will be a bit nerve-wracking for us… But it’s the reality we face.” Note to Rick: it’s the reality you don’t face that kills you. More interestingly, it appears that the CEO’s anti-C11 rhetoric has softened slightly. Not. “Why would you take that risk at a time the economy is teetering on the brink. We need to do everything we can to get the business structured to get through a tough time and onto the future.” I think Mr. Wagoner just answered his own question.

J.D. Power has released its latest Sales Satisfaction Index Study results. And once again, some people are confused by what this survey measures. Edmunds: “In an unusual twist, many Asian brands — including Honda, Toyota, Scion, Subaru, Suzuki, Hyundai and Mazda — ranked below the industry-average customer satisfaction score in the study, despite gaining market share over domestic vehicles.” Shock! Horror! How can customer satisfaction with the triumphant Japanese be below average? Because this survey has nothing to do with the car, and everything to do with the dealer. As in past years, the differences between the scores is small. Nearly every mainstream brand falls within 20 points of the average on a 1,000-point scale; the difference between the top and the bottom is less than 1,000 points. The most surprising result– also not news– the average car dealer scores 857 out of 1,000. Think of it this way: if car dealers are so good, and the average level of satisfaction is so high, then why do most people prefer root canal surgery to visiting a car dealer? [ED: By the same token, why doesn’t Anita Lienert read TTAC?]

[Michael Karesh runs TrueDelta, a TTAC data provider]

These are stressful times for Detroit. All that Motown’s mavens held dear is dead or dying. The shock is equally brutal for the town’s cheerleaders, whose teams have all been routed and now, publicly humiliated. Automotive News’ [sub] Edward Lapham has snapped. The Executive Editor has penned a column that sounds not a small amount like a suicide note: “See! See what you’ve made me do! Well, I’ve done it. I’ve killed myself. NOW how do you like it?” To wit: “Those of us who want the Detroit 3 to avoid bankruptcy need to think outside the box. I hate to admit it, but there’s some hidden wisdom among the silly things said by politicos and others who don’t understand the auto industry. No, not all the talk about letting General Motors, Ford and Chrysler use Chapter 11 as a kind of boot camp to whip themselves into shape; that’s just too asinine to consider. I mean the admonishments to be more like Toyota, Nissan and Honda. Think about it. Now that the Detroit 3 have narrowed the gaps in productivity, quality and labor costs, the transplants have one obvious advantage: Their headquarters, engineering staffs and main product development operations are all overseas. To them, America is a colony. So GM, Ford and Chrysler ought to move. Great! That’s settled. Now the only question is: Where should they go?” Some outside observers who’ve listened to the domestics’ camp followers unseemly combination of whining and bullying– as expressed here– might suggest some place consistently hot. But I couldn’t possibly comment.

Up till now nobody knew Madza was competing with VW/Audi for the “largest grille” award. For those that don’t believe us, take a gander  at the schnoz on the new Mazda 3. Mazda reps assure us this mug is the future of the entire brand (God helps us). Despite the fact that the Mazda 3 looks set to devour smaller cars and motorcyclists on the road it does at least promise more Zoom-Zoom with Ford’s corporate 2.5L I4 engine good for 167HP or the time honoured 2.0L I4 good for 148HP. Sadly Ford’s corporate 6 speed tranny isn’t along for the ride, nor are any of the Volvo P1 turbo engines (the 3’s platform mate across the pond) or Ford’s SYNC. Premium features on this new whip include Xenon headlamps, keyless ignition and the requisite bluetooth and iPod integration. The only question: can the features make up for the wacky front end grin and Mistubishi-grade interior? Mazdaspeed 3 anyone?

Brand management can be so easy. Take car brands. You take a good clear look at your portfolio, you write down in simple language on one piece of paper what positives, negatives, and potential of each brand. Kill the brands that are below par, lack a USP (Unique Selling Point) and/or wouldn’t fetch chump change on the market. At least, that’s what I’d do with Seat, Lancia, Maybach, Daihatsu, Kia (or Hyundai?), Mercury, Dodge, Pontiac, Cadillac, Hummer, Saab, Vauxhall. Did I forget anything? Yugo, girl! Yes: Tony Fixed It Again, this time for good. Fiat, bless their soul, has decided it will close down the Yugo brand. Just-Auto reports that, contrary to previous plans, Fiat will not do a Dacia. The Balkan factories will be used for low-cost manufacturing, and nothing else. Serbia is grieving: apparently, Yugo was one of the (few) things that held Yugoslavia together. Anybody who ever sat in a Yugo or God forgive, ever drove one, rejoices. The Topolino, a two-cylinder urban competitor to the Smart and the iQ, will be built in Yugo’s former Serbian digs from around 2012. Also, Serbia has high hopes to join the EU, sooner or later. Life goes on, often better than before, after you cull a sick brand.

In a press conference today, congressional leadership announced that it would not shut the door on a possible automaker bailout, giving the Detroit 3 until December 2 to come up with a plan to restructure their businesses. Which means the three stooges could be back in DC for an encore performance of their hit comedy routine “$25b, Please.” “The best way to proceed is to give them another opportunity to make their case, to the Congress and the American people,” says Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV). “The key here is accountability and viability. That’s what we’re seeking. That’s not too much to ask.” Or is it? The compromise that was reached earlier today was nixed by Reid and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), not because it lacked accountability, but because it would likely have stripped efficiency retooling requirements from the already-appropriated $25b loan fund. So, instead Pelosi and Reid assigned an essay to Detroit’s CEOs entitled “how I would spend $25b to turn my company around.” The due date is December 2, and they must be typed and double-spaced. Don’t forget to show your work.

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Infiniti had a lot of nerve to officially unveil this object of yuppie contentment on a day that the Dow rediscovered the wrong side of 8,000 points. But wouldn’t you know it if the hardtop G37 convertible still manages to strike an attractive pose. There aren’t many surprises here; pre-launch images were released last summer. In the flesh, the kinship with the coupe is obvious, although Nissan corporate claims unique sheet metal aft of the A-pillars and a slightly wider track in comparison to the garden variety G-series. The powertrain includes a 325hp variant of the same 3.7-liter VQ twin cam that powers the coupe and sedan. Transmission choices include either a 6-speed manual or a 7-cog autobox. A sport package will be an available option. If you like the lines and the interior of the standard versions, then you’ll probably take a fancy to this topless edition. Prices aren’t yet available, which is probably for the best if your 401k has been practicing the swan dive along with the rest of Wall Street. This G37 won’t be hitting the showrooms until sometime around the spring of 2009. That should leave the aspiring class with plenty of time to rebuild their portfolios.

Liberal bomb-thrower and “Roger & Me” documentarian Michael Moore described his “mixed feelings” about a proposed Detroit bailout in a CNN interview with Larry King, accusing automakers of ignoring workers and customers. The Detroit News was apparently more than a little surprised by the revelation, kicking off its coverage of the interview with its most wounded tone, saying “If you thought a high-profile, avowed fan of the Michigan autoworker would leap at the chance to support the Big Three’s clamor for a Washington bailout, think again.” Of course, if you aren’t emotionaly invested in a bailout, quotes like “I don’t think these companies, with these management people, should be given a dime, because that’s just going to be money going up in smoke or off to other countries,” shouldn’t be too surprising. Actually, Moore’s comments aren’t particularly interesting or substantive, thanks in large part to King’s softball, ego-boosting questions. Oh yeah, and the fact that Moore knows more about courting media attention than the auto industry. We just really wanted to post another picture of Halle.

What does “fuelled by CBS” mean to you? In this case, it’s the Automotive Broadcasting Network, run by the good folks who bring you the Nightly News. OK, not exactly the same folks. (“I didn’t go to J School to tell people to put nitrogen in their tires!”) But CBS anchor Katie Couric’s happy to lend her face, name and voice to the cause, as you can see if you [dare] click on this dealer-enticing video presentation, introed by the divine Miss C herself. For those of you with a weak constitution (especially the bit about freedom of the press), consider: “ABN™ and CBS™ will revolutionize the experience your customers have at your dealership by delivering high quality, custom programming.” As one of TTAC’s resident pedants, I’d like to point out that the term “broadcasting” does not apply here. At all. In any way, shape or form. As someone who remembers the legacy of Edward R. Murrow (no, not the interview with Marilyn Monroe), this 24-7 pimpatorial channel is a complete and utter betrayal of CBS’ hallowed history of perptuating liberal cant. I mean, upholding the highest standards of journalistic ethics. And it sure makes me wonder about CBS’ coverage of the auto industry.

The Freep reports that Fitch is eying another credit downgrade for Chrysler LLC. Why? Where to begin? Chrysler CEO Bob Nardelli could have been too forthcoming in his House Financial Services Committee testimony. You know, the parts about being in “a very fragile position,” having only $6b, and having already drawn up bankruptcy plans. Or maybe it’s the JP Morgan report released yesterday that says “Proposed Chrysler assistance is slightly outsized in relation to its market position. It was suggested these amounts could compensate for the automakers’ likely FY2009 cash burns.” Or maybe it’s just based on the generally negative reaction to Detroit’s jet-by testimony. In any case, Fitch says that without “material federal assistance in the short term” the agency would review the current rating for potential downgrading to CC — which “indicates that default is probable” — from its current CCC rating. Oh yeah, and there’s also this little knife-twisting sentence: “the provision of federal assistance may not preclude a downgrade.” In fact, Fitch thinks some form of assistance is “probable.” After all, “Chrysler is dependent on the financial capacity and willingness of its suppliers to continue extending trade credit, as the company does not have sufficient resources to finance ongoing operations in the event that trade credit is curtailed.” Ouch.

Having stretched itself a bit thin buying up British luxury icons Jaguar and Land Rover, Tata Motors is working with what it has to get the revenue flowing. For those of you who haven’t checked out Jaguar’s portfolio recently, that means the XF. Specifically, Autoexpress reports that Tata has approved coupe and convertible versions of the sleek sedan for production. The coupe will target Audi’s A5, with the tight greenhouse and high-waistlined styling that large coupe buyers have come to expect. And with a price target set under the XF sedan’s $50k msrp, it will also be the ground floor for XF ownership. The convertible should top the XF range, but it won’t have the usual astronomical convertible premium. Well, at least not enough to bump up against the XK’s $80k sticker. The drop-top will sport a traditional folding cloth roof, and a shortened wheelbase for improved body rigidity. Engine choices will be unchanged, although the XFR’s supercharged 5.0 V8 could become an option when the coupe and convertible versions drop in 2010. Autoexpress is also reporting on the long-rumored F-type sportscar, supposedly aimed at Porsche’s Boxster/Cayman duo. If things go well, the F-type could be coming in 2012 based on a cut-down version of the next-generation XJ all-aluminum platform and sporting V8 power. Sounds good, but we’re not exactly holding our breath for this. Let’s see how the XF-stretching goes first.

MSNBC is reporting that auto-state senators’ aides say they’ve reached a compromise to throw money at “speed emergency loans” to Chrysler, Ford and GM. And speed is the drug of choice here. After The Big 2.8’s CEO shot themselves in their collective feet in front of a Senate committee charged with rubber-stamping the $25b deal, Republicans and Democrats knocked some heads together. The peacock people say the as-yet-unnamed legislators plan to present their proposal at a mid-afternoon news conference today (Thursday). The plan: the president’s plan. The bi-polar, I mean partisan, I mean bi-partisan group will attempt to “divert” money from the already approved $25b Department of Energy Loans– to tide Detroit over until the incoming prez can do his part to subsidize the failing automakers with taxpayer funds. But folks, as this Bailout Watch originally postulated, this is NOT a done deal. Far, far, from it. And I’ll tell you why…

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When there’s less to do, it’s harder to get things done. This is a rule. The same as the one about peanut butter and dogs. Anyway, Robert and I spoke about all things bailout on Wednesday. And in other news, the V8 version of the Pontiac G8 gets better pricing with every day – 2008 model year cars with under 10,000 miles are going for the mid $20k range on eBay Motors. This particular one, with 8900 miles, is marginally even broken in and it’s only $23,900. Beats the heck out of the $32,000 MSRP this thing originally had. Imagine how cheap these beasts will be in a year.