While America Slept (WAS) is a daily round-up of the news that happened in other continents and time-zones while America suffers bailout-or-no-bailout-induced nightmares. Around the world, a network of bleary-eyed TTAC correspondents provides round-the-clock coverage of everything that has wheels. Or that has its wheels coming off.  Today in TTAC’s morning zoo:

Renault in dire straits: “Will Renault be the next car-casualty?” asks the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung. This after Renault guided its year-end prognosis way down. Renault’s troubles will be Nissan’s pain. Both are joined at the aching hip. In an interview with the WSJ, Carlos Ghosn, double-head of Renault and Nissan, said he would “push for Europe to offer a €40 billion ($50 billion) loan program targeted at retooling,” (the books, presumably.) He also said, Japan should follow suit.  Gimme the money, s’il vous plait.

China pulling out of Russia: China’s largest SUV and truck maker Great Wall Motor Co said to Gasgoo that they will “terminate their joint venture in Russia because of hard industry protectionist measures in the country.” No Landwinds for the Russkies. Wait, there WAS more …

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The story that Chinese SAIC and Dongfeng are thinking (aloud) about buying GM or Chrysler, or maybe both, created a firestorm on both sides of the no longer so Pacific Ocean. Just in case someone still thinks it’s a fluke, the Chinese media is chockablock full of the story. It’s all in (duh) Chinese, but trust us: from mass-outlets like Sina.com all the way to the government-owned Autoinfo.gov.cn, their headlines shout (in Chinese: ) “SAIC and Dongfeng intend to buy GM.” As far as more substance to the story goes, there’s not much to report. We and our friends over at Gasgoo made some phone calls to the parties involved, and first received nothing but a “wu ke feng gao,” which the Mandarin-speakers amongst the B&B recognize as a “no comment.” Then, the denials poured in.

“GM will not sell its joint ventures,“ said Zhou Fangyu, former director of GM Business Development Department. An anonymous source at SAIC told Gasgoo.com reporters in a phone interview that he “hasn’t heard of SAIC’s plans to buy GM or Chrysler.” However, he also noted that “it may be possible for SAIC to buy some suppliers or joint ventures of GM in China.” A definite maybe. And then …

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We’ve said it before. We’ll say it again. Before The Big 2.8’s bailout begging blitz, the average American had no idea how close Ford, Chrysler and GM were/are to bankruptcy. And now, today, they do. So when it comes to buying a new car, well, it’s either a sympathy you-know-what (as if) or “Maybe we should look at a Toyota this time.” As much as Detroit’s sales sucked in October, the numbers will be nothing (something?) compared to November. By December, a black hole will tear-open the time-space continuum above Detroit and swallow The Big 2.8 whole.

Those who know the least are screwed the most (both figuratively and literally). Case in point. 1997 Nissan Pathfinder XE. No leather, but a roof and a helluva good look. 206,852 miles. It sold for the mind numbingly high price of $3800. Why? Well, to find the answer you have to go back to the good old days of the 1970’s when odometers were turned back more often than a stoner at the Lion’s Club. This one will undoubtedly be sold to an immigrant who knows as much about Carfax as yours truly knows about Lawrence Welk’s bubble making machine. As for the domesticated mastodons, a 2004 Explorer repo with 94k miles sold for $4100 and a 2003 Trailblazer with leather and all the options checked, but 131k, sold for $4700. As they say in Detroit Yiddish, “Oy vay! [sic]”

Sorry guys, too much domestic kerfuffle to carry this on (Sponge Bob! I don’t want to watch TV upstairs! Where’s my dinner?) Suffice it to say, TTAC will report on the hearings in various posts as we go along. My take so far: Dodd is an extremely convincing politician, in an avuncular sort of way. And judging from the panel’s opening remarks, this is a done deal. The tough questions are notable for their absence. Still, it’s early. Surely, someone’s going to rake these CEO and UAW guys over the coals, who all seem to be blaming something else. Were we too liberal with credit? Nooooooo. Of course not. And the euphemism for the bailout is a “bridging loan.”

UAW President Ron Gettelfinger is joining Detroit’s two-day testimonial of shame in Washington DC today, and in case there was any suspense about what he would say, he leaked his notes to the Detroit News. The shameless audacity of his position shouldn’t come as a surprise, given his (and his organization’s) track record. Still, it might just take your breath away a little. Step one on the Gettelfinger formula for success, prove that the D3 are going under. Not hard. Step two, refuse to do anything about it. “We do not believe there is any justification for conditioning assistance to the Detroit-based auto companies on further deep cuts in wages and benefits for active and retired workers. We would also note that in the cases where the Treasury Department has acted to rescue financial institutions, it has only imposed restrictions on executive compensation. It has never mandated cuts in wages or benefits for rank-and-file workers and retirees. Thus, there is no basis for singling out the auto industry for different treatment,” says Gettelfinger in his prepared remarks. Step three? Blackmail, baby. Read More >

Chinese carmakers SAIC and Dongfeng have plans to acquire GM and Chrysler, China’s 21st Century Business Herald reports today. [A National Enquirer the paper is not. It is one of China’s leading business newspapers, with a daily readership over three million.] The paper cites a senior official of China’s Ministry of Industry and Information Technology– the state regulator of China’s auto industry– who dropped the hint that “the auto manufacturing giants in China, such as Shanghai Automotive Industry Corporation (SAIC) and Dongfeng Motor Corporation, have the capability and intention to buy some assets of the two crisis-plagued American automakers.” These hints are very often followed with quick action in the Middle Kingdom. The hints were dropped just a few days after the same Chinese government gave its auto makers the go-ahead to invest abroad. And why would they do that?

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Whilst reporting that U.S. Treasure Secretary Henry “Hank” Paulson is telling the automakers “keep your hands off my $700b stack, Jack,” Fox News reveals that Ford, GM and Chrysler aren’t the only automakers looking to tap into the $25b Department of Energy “retooling” loan program. Tiny Tesla Motors has sent in its application for $400m worth of no to low-interest loans, so it can build more $109k lithium-ion-powered two-seaters with less luggage space than a diva’s jewel-encrusted clutch bag. I kid. I kid. I think. “General Motors, Chrysler and Tesla Motors Inc. have applied for loans and Ford CEO Alan Mulally said the automaker plans to apply on Tuesday. GM, Chrysler and Ford have not disclosed the amount of funding they’re seeking from the Energy Department or for what purposes. Tesla said it was seeking about $400 million in loans for two projects.” Let’s see.. they make one car (the aforementioned Tesla Roadster) and want to make another (WhiteElephant). Is it me, or is there some sort ofinternational conspiracy to keep TTAC in mill grist? [thanks to MgoBlue for the link]

You know how it is with press releases. You read through the hyperbole (“the first 750i of 1987 famously offering more computing power than NASA utilised to put man on the moon”) thinking of snarky things to say (as does my microwave oven). And then it hits you: there’s something not right here. Hang on; is that the speed limit I spy with my little eye? Sho’ nuff: the new BMW 7-Series marries the optional Lane Departure Warning system (achtung baby!) with the innocuously named “Speed Limit Display.” From the press release: “Using a camera mounted behind the rear view mirror, the system cross-references the GPS navigation system information and the real-world information to constantly monitor the legal speed limit, and relays this information to the driver in the dashboard or, if specified, into the Head-up Display. The car’s hard drive is pre-programmed with all of Europe’s speed limits but, in the case of road works or incidents, limits can vary. The camera reads the numbers on temporary road signs and over-rides the known speed limit, bringing this information constantly into the driver’s line of sight.” Dummkopf! Limits can vary! Link the GPS speed limits with the cruise control and Big Brother’s your spymaster! Coming to an island nation near you soon!

—–Original Message—–
From: GM Grassroots [mailto:grassroots@gm.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 8:42 AM
To:
Subject: Your message to Congress

Dear —

Thank you for letting Congress know that you think the American auto industry is a part of the fabric of America.

Here is a copy of the actual message you sent to let them know how you feel about saving this critical American industry.

“I am a consumer who believes it is important to have an American car industry in this country. I am asking for your help.

Some critics call helping America’s automobile industry a bailout. I strongly believe this is an investment to rebuild our nation’s economic engine. If we do nothing, the future our country faces during this downturn is clear. We will see even more economic upheaval, communities will lose substantial businesses and revenue, and thousands of jobs will disappear. The negative impact will be worse than anything we’ve seen in our lifetime.

We are at a crossroads, where given the opportunity, our nation’s auto manufacturers can lead once again. In 2010, we will see labor and health care reforms kick in. We will also see new electric vehicles introduced that will help reduce our nation’s dependence on foreign oil. And if it weren’t for the recent credit crunch, these companies would be on the road to succeed.

If Congress does not act, it will be the shortest and fastest road from recession to depression. Our economy is suffering enough. Please help prevent further job losses and devastation to our communities. I am asking that you give our nation’s car companies the opportunity to complete this turnaround.

We cannot afford to lose this cornerstone of our economy. We should not depend on other nations for our manufacturing capabilities or new technologies. And we do not want to contribute to an even deeper collapse that will leave too many people facing further economic uncertainty.”

Peter Valdes-Dapena is not what you’d call the sharpest automotive journalist on the blog. In fact, you could say that CNNMoney’s Automotive Editor has about as much killer instinct as Codium setchelli. In case you’re not up on your algae, this is the scribe who wrote a piece entitled “Why we need big hybrid SUVs.” So, now that Forbes Autos is out of the top ten slide show biz– in fact, out of biz entirely– Valdes-Dapena has decided to fill the gap. “What’s really killing Detroit” You want insight? We’ll give you insight! V-D identifies six issues confronting Detroit and gives six reasons why it’s no big friggin’ deal (i.e. why we shouldn’t let Motown’s meltdown get in the way of bailout billions). You got your SUV addiction (“They remain an important market segment for domestic automakers”); lack of small cars (“GM will also begin selling the new Chevrolet Cruze here in 2010”); lousy quality (“There’s no doubt that quality will continue to improve”); lack of hybrids (“GM now offers as more [sic] hybrid models – seven in all – than Toyota, which offers six”); union workers (“Pay isn’t the problem, it’s benefits. But the UAW has made significant concessions”); and your fat executive paychecks (“If big automakers do want help from Uncle Sam, they may have to agree to cuts in compensation). So what’s really killing Detroit? Photo captions like this: “GM CEO Rick Wagoner leads a company in trouble, but could anyone else have done better?” I know Pacific sea slugs that qualify.

Fortune Magazine’s Allan Sloan writes that “It’s Time to Raise the Gas Tax.” And he’s right. Many people blame Detroit for not putting more money and effort into developing more fuel-efficient cars. Some have suggested that Detroit should promise to develop high-efficiency cars as a condition for getting any bailout money. But it has never made sense to force Detroit, through Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) or other legislation, to develop more fuel-efficient vehicles. Why not? Because it never makes financial sense to put money into developing products that consumers aren’t demanding. Maybe they’ll demand them in the future, if and when fuel prices spike? Businesses prefer products for which there is a more certain demand. There’s only one proven way to get manufacturers to develop fuel-efficient vehicles: raise fuel prices to the point that consumers naturally demand these vehicles, and then keep them there. This is what worked for Europe and Japan. And it’s what would work here, in the U.S.