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Pistonheads paints actor Daniel Craig’s pass on a free Aston (any Aston) as some sort of prima donna-ish behaviour. After all, A FREE BLOODY ASTON, MATE! “The actor reckons it doesn’t make sense to drive an Aston in London – which seems rather a churlish excuse considering Aston has reportedly given him a set of keys to its toy cupboard. ‘I could drive faster and more furiously on the track than anywhere on the road. I live in London and it doesn’t make sense to drive an Aston Martin there. I’ve nowhere to park it,’ Craig recently told reporters. Has our Mr Bond lost his mojo, we wonder?” Oh please. As our Adrian Imonti wrote, “Driving in London just for fun is as sensible as rollerblading on the autobahn.” And as I pointed out in March, London now charges £120 ($202) for a parking ticket. That’s if you don’t get towed. And don’t forget the congestion charge. Or insurance cover. Or the cost of parking. And road tax. Yes, yes, Craig can afford all that. But the hassles are immense, from actually finding a space to remembering to pay for everything. And then’s there’s the traffic itself. It’s much quicker to walk, hop in a limo or take a taxi (God forbid a celeb should ride the Tube). A free moped. Now that would be a different story.
What’s with Ford and these quality studies? Not for the the first time, Ford has commissioned its own study on relative vehicle quality– you know, initial vehicle quality– and come out on top. Ish. You know; a “statistical dead heat.” Or, to be more or less precise, “With a combined average of 1,284 things-gone-wrong (TGW) per 1,000 vehicles during the first three months of ownership, Ford’s domestic brands improved 8 percent versus last year. This performance is statistically equivalent to the 1,250 TGW level of Honda/Acura and Toyota/Lexus/Scion.” Of course, you have to read all the way to the end, and Google a bit, to see that this PR exercise is Ford-subsidized. “The 2008 model-year GQRS survey, conducted for Ford by RDA Group of Bloomfield Hills, Mich., solicits feedback on vehicle trouble and customer satisfaction from owners of all major makes and models after three months in service.” [JD Powers’ Initial Quality Survey results here.] Anyway, it’s all for one, and One Ford for all: “This is One Ford at its best,” claims Bennie Fowler, Ford group vice president, Global Quality. “It’s taken thousands of people continuously working together with laser-like focus every day to boost vehicle quality for our customers to [just about] the top of the pack.”
Back in the day, I mistakenly asked Gary Witzenburg to write for TTAC. The aftermath was… intense. To this day, Witzenburg remains the only [non-spam] person I’ve ever banned from my email account. Even though I knew Gary was wrapped a little tight on the whole stop picking on the domestic automakers deal, I never suspected that the former GM spinmeister would make an entire career out of defending the indefensible. Nor would I have predicted that he would make Autobloggreen his spiritual home. But there he is, and his most recent rant could well be his magnum opus. Witz begins with a long defense– of GM, the EV-1 and his own career– that puts Richard M. Nixon’s “My Mother Was a Saint” resignation speech to shame. And then we’re off into the lazy journalist’s favorite format: Q & A. A highly edited Steve asks “What I cannot fathom is how all three auto manufacturers fell into the big-car trap. This happened before in the 1970s – fuel prices went up and U.S. automakers were left with obsolete product lines.” Gary responds “Come on, Steve, they’re not making sandwiches.” Seriously, this is a fascinating read, on many levels. Just imagine Jack Nicholson playing Gary Witzenburg, insert expletives where needed (everywhere) and you’re there.
TTAC has previously reported deep concerns about the GT-R’s ‘Ring recond. Australian Herald Sun automotive journalist Paul Gover reports that Porsche was sehr unglücklich with Nissan’s claims that its GT-R is faster around The Green Hell than Stuttgart’s mean machines. To test its suspicions, Porsche bought a GT-R in the U.S., flew it to the ‘Ring and ran its own back-to-back tests with the Japanese supercar. Porsche’s expert ‘Ring runner couldn’t get within 25 seconds of Nissan’s claimed record. Porsche also “discovered” that its 911 Turbo and GT2 were both faster around the legendary German circuit than the bonkers Nissan. “This [GT-R] wonder car with 7:29 could not have been a regular series production car,” proclaims August Achleitner, the 911 product chief for Porsche. “For us, it’s not clear how this time is possible. What we can imagine with this Nissan is they used other tyres.” Achleitner’s mob clocked the GT-R at 7 minutes 54 seconds; the 911 Turbo managed 7:38 and the GT2 lapped the track in 7:34. “The Nissan is a good car. I don’t want to make anything bad with my words,” he says. “It’s a very consistent car. But this car is about 20 kilos heavier than the Turbo… This technical puzzle now fits together. With the other numbers we had problems to understand it.”
“The film ‘Flash of Genius’ chronicles the life story of Bob Kearns, who asserted that he invented the intermittent windshield wiper and sued Ford, Chrysler and other automakers for patent infringement. While films like ‘Flash of Genius’ are made for entertainment purposes, the facts are often less dramatic.
Bob Kearns as well as hundreds of engineers from many companies, including Ford, helped develop the intermittent wiper as part of an evolution of existing automotive and electronic components.
While there are inaccuracies in the film, Ford sees no value in re-hashing the history of a legal case that was resolved in court almost 20 years ago, when a jury ruled that Ford did not willfully violate Mr. Kearns’ patent.
Today, Ford continues to make engineering and design breakthroughs in areas such as fuel efficiency, safety and smart technology, and is proud of its 100-year legacy of innovation in automotive technology.”
As TTAC proves on an ongoing basis, General Motors is a company that has struggled mightily to adjust to the Internet Age. Now, GM is trying to embrace the open-source future by recruiting a few good webizens to wikify its long and tumultuous path. Needless to say, there’s many a slip ‘twixt PR dependence and Web 2.0. The “Generations of GM wiki” is hosted on GMNext.com, which requires registration and serves largely as an organ of GM PR. Accordingly, when you attempt to write an article, you have to slot it into one of several unmodifiable “chapters”: “Creation” (1897-1909), “Acceleration” (1910-1930), “Emotion” (1931-1958), “Revolution” (1959-1981), “Globalization” (1982-1999) and “Transformation” (2000-present). Though there are all too many bones to be picked with this rose-hued historical categorization, the fact that “Transformation” (2000-present) is represented by an image of the Volt concept car tells you everything you need to know. Couldn’t they at least have used the Camaro from “Tranformers” to complete their metaphorical whitewash of the last eight years? Anyway, there enough “rules to the road” for the Generations of GM wiki to ensure little more than a steady trickle of mild-mannered personal recollections. And since you have to submit articles by email for careful PR-flack screening, it’s not even a proper wiki anyway. Do you have an article on the history of GM that was denied by GMNExt? We’re not a wiki, but send it in because we might just run it anyway… as long as it’s exactly 800 words.
Press releases aren't supposed to be funny, but occasionally, one comes out that you can't help but laugh at, either for the product it's promoting, the way it attempts to make it sound unique, or both. Case in point: Toyota's release describing the "Design Ins and Outs of the 2009 Toyota Venza." Having seen pictures of this bastard child of a Camry and an Aztek, I think it would be better described as the "Design Do's and Don'ts," with emphasis on the don'ts. They struggle to find a way to describe it, settling on "not an SUV, not a wagon, not a coupe and not a sedan." So what the Hell is it? They say it "incorporates SUV utility and roominess, while maintaining passenger car essentials, such as ease of ingress/egress, performance, a lower, sleek
side profile with aerodynamic lines." Uh… doesn't that pretty much describe a station wagon? Anyway, the design incorporates "Toyota's design philosophy, ‘Vibrant Clarity'" (which sounds like a Honda FCX with a tire out of balance) to produce "look-at-me" styling. Inside, it has a "floating…60/60 center dashboard" that makes spatially-challenged drivers and passengers "feel as if 60 percent of the space is in their personal zone." There's more, but I'll let you read it for yourself.
The Olympics kicked off Friday in Beijing, with a bright beige, smog-filled sky, intense pyrotechnics, and some incredibly impressive artistic performances by the Chinese. I missed nearly all of it due to preparation for my upcoming Iraq deployment, so I ran into my apartment, threw my flight gear into the corner and flipped on the TV to grab what was left of the Opening Ceremonies, Instead, I watched a tribute to the GM brand in rabbit-eared-fuzzy glory. Brandi Carlile belted out "The Story" as the redundant seemingly endless range of GM vehicles paraded across the screen. I got choked up, not because of the truly good GM products they displayed (CTS, Enclave, Camaro), but because the Volt concept was shown, still with a debut date of 2010. As the tag line, "Something Shiny, Blue, and Beautiful" flashed across the screen under the GM logo, I wondered if GM still thinks a well-done commercial tugging our heartstrings and a vehicle powered by hope and pixie dust will actually restore faith destroyed by three decades of lousy products and service. Then immediately after, a local ad proclaiming $10k off new Suburbans blared out, blasting the Velcro patches off my flight suit. My sense of reality was restored. GM, you can do it. I've seen glimpses of it. I've driven it. But don't think you can erase all the bad times with sentimentality and soft-focus screen shots. Make it happen in cold, harsh daylight reality. But thanks anyways for supporting our Olympic athletes.
Ignorance is a bankable commodity. When Bear Stearns stepped-up to the federal begging bowl, the average U.S. taxpayer had no idea who the Hell they were, why they needed money, and whether or not they should get it. Still doesn't. But if/when Ford eventually asks Uncle Sam to open your purse, it may not have what you'd call a winning plot line. Ford's good will with the public has often gone up in smoke (Pinto) or rolled over and died (Explorer). There's another PR debacle looming over the horizon: Flash of Genius. The movie paints a bleak moral picture of the artist once known as the inventor of the working class hero-mobile. We'll be sure to explore whether or not it's accurate in future posts. Meanwhile, make no mistake: it doesn't matter. Except that it does. And will. [thanks to katiepuckrick for the tip]
A clever TTAC commentator scanned internet archives and found this little gem. It's the script for aspiring actors looking to apply for GM's CPO ambush ads. As anyone who's ever watched the carefully-planned spontaneity of reality TV knows, it's no surprise that GM decided how to embarrass private sellers before they embarrassed them, and used professionals. But it's still a bit queasy-making to see the non-pro sellers' replies pre-established on paper. And there are still a few questions about Ambush-gate that I'd like answered. Were the ambushees given a heads-up before taping? Were they given the script? How many sellers did they film who refused to sign a release? How much did GM have to pay to get people to agree to this? How much did this campaign cost? [thanks to AW for the tip]
GM's press release begins with a rhetorical question: "What would happen if you turned more than 20 undercover film and surveillance professionals loose to show the potential drawbacks of buying a used vehicle that is not manufacturer certified?" And then, without a trace of irony, "the results were not at all surprising." The General dispatched actors posing as car buyers– complete with hidden cameras and release forms– to "ambush" [their words] and embarrass [ours] private sellers with "questions that private party used-vehicle sellers often don't want to hear." During one close encounter of the heinous kind, the actor asks an unsuspecting seller if he can install a phone in the seller's home so he can call for roadside assistance any time, day or night. Other private sellers were harassed about "things like financing and courtesy transportation." "We even bought one of the cars and then tried to return it a few days later with a three-day, 150-mile guarantee," bragged copywriter Jim Hagar.
Reuters reports that Toyota sold 4.8m vehicles in the first half of 2008, while GM managed to move 4.54m. It's official: GM is no longer the world's largest automobile manufacturer. GM's spinmeisters promptly bragged that it reached record numbers in three of its four regions in the second quarter of 2008. Unfortunately, GM's 116k-unit growth outside of the U.S. was swamped by a 236k-unit decline in the home market. Also, GM continues to take full unit credit for sales in China– even though the Chinese business is majority-owned by Chinese partner SAIC. (For example, GM owns only 34 percent of the unit which builds the high-volume Chevrolet Spark.) GM's decision back in 2000 to ramp-up trucks and SUVs whilst eviscerating their US car efforts in order to boost profit margins has come home to roost.
Problem: the Toyota Camry is being outsold almost 2-to-1 by Dodge's Avenger among black customers. "Here's this nameplate that's ubiquitous," said Monica Warden, account director for Burrell, Toyota's agency of record or African-American advertising. "But for an African-American woman, it's not even in her consideration set. Our preliminary testing found they think of it as suburban, not urban; as solid but boring. And for this woman, she doesn't see herself as boring." To raise sales of its best-selling dullard, Toyota hired the company responsible for the intriguing (at least to us fanboys) The Dark Knight (movie) viral ad campaign. The result this site: If Looks Could Kill. It features a subtle sales pitch, serial web movies and who knows what else. The Dark Knight campaign had fanboys running around the San Diego Convention Center in Joker facepaint; we'll see what curious activities will arise from ILCK.com.
In their latest commercials Subaru tells us that dumping a junk car in the wilderness or driving a car you can't see out of equate to some strange form of love. The first shows some environmentally-challenged dufus driving two days to take his old Forester to "Subaru heaven," which consists of a spot somewhere in an otherwise pristine wilderness area where other Subaru owners have abandoned their worn-out rides. There, apparently, they sit until they rust to pieces, releasing their various petrochemical-based fluids and toxic metals into the environment instead of being responsibly recycled and reused. The other shows someone who must come from the same genetic pool as that guy because he refuses to wash his Outback, claiming it's a "badge of honor" and that he'll "let the universe take care of it." He'd better hope the universe is taking car of him when he pulls out in front of that bus or runs over that motorcycle in the lane next to him because his windows are so nasty he can't see what's around him. And this comes from a company that not long ago bragged about how their factory is a wildlife preserve and how safe their cars are. Maybe they just don't expect their customers to share their "values."
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