Before setting off on a 2000 mile roadtrip around the Great American Southwest in a loaner Jaguar XF, my co-driver and I commented, "We are taking a brand new, unproven, Jaguar, across barren deserts and across mountain passes, through blowing dust and drifting snow, and the nearest Jaguar dealership lies over 300 miles away. How much water did we bring?" The Jag proved faultless no matter what we threw at it– until now. Arriving back in Oklahoma City, in true Labor Party fashion, the headlights went on strike. The local Jag dealership proved very useful in not only taking immediate care of me, but also gave me coffee and a loaner Toyota Camry– which while not as much fun, will probably have working headlights. Due to a parts shortage on the new XF, the Jag rep had the dealership cannibalize a new XF to provide the parts. Stay tuned for a full second take on the Jaguar XF.

In a classic "pay no attention to that investor behind that curtain" diversion, Ford sent out not one, not two, but FIVE press releases about the debut of Shelby GT500KR in rapid-fire succession. The first piece of KR PR gives the uber-'Stang's specifications (330 cu. in./5,409 cc, 540 hp @ 6,250 rpm, 510 lb.-ft. torque @ 4500 rpm, 6,250 rpm redline and Roots-type supercharger, air-to-water intercooler with Ford Racing cold air intake, if you're curious). The second brags about its handling and aerodynamics ("Our computer model predicts a four-tenths-of-a-second zero-to-150 acceleration effect from the aero alone. That makes the horsepower go farther."). The third praises– I kid you not– how it sounds ("Hearing the new KR just gets your blood flowing. It's a rumble that true enthusiasts will love and competitors will dread."). The fourth waxes eloquent about the carbon fiber hood ("The hood is a sculpted work of art, with the right science under its skin to deliver real performance impact."). And the fifth points out it's "the most powerful production Mustang ever." None of them mentions the price or how much dealers will jack it up. Now, let's see what's happened with Tracinda…

Chrysler flackmeister Stuart Schorr didn't take kindly to Ford analyst George Pipa's comments about the decline and fall of the U.S. minivan market. On Chrysler's Firehouse.biz media blog, Schorr took on "the myth that shoppers are moving away from minivans." The numbers show last year's overall minivan sales (800k units industry-wide) were 18 percent lower than the previous year's. Yet Schorr still boasts that Chrysler's "retail [emphasis added] minivan sales are flat through the first quarter this year." Wait a minute. Isn't the goal supposed to be increased retail sales? Anyway, Schorr explains that the flatlined sales are part of "the overall 9 percent drop in industry sales" and "the reduction of our lineup to two models." Besides, "we cut our minivan fleet sales by 46 percent" (which has nothing to do with retail sales). The fact remains: minivan sales are down. Way down. And, if current trends continue, staying down. In fact, they're falling, both in absolute terms and as a percentage of vehicles sold. In case you were wondering.

We weren't the only ones giving Toyota grief about their $20m contribution to the Audubon Society. The Green Company That Also Sells Gas-Guzzlin' Trucks has gone on the defensive after readers of their Open Road blog castigated the Japanese automaker for the largesse. It seems the National Audubon Society is one of the plaintiffs in a suit against the National Park Service for alleged failure to regulate beach driving at the Cape Hatteras National Seashore in North Carolina. Readers felt Toyota's donation "is being used against people who use their 4-wheel drive vehicles" and "to help fund the closure of the beaches of the Outer Banks of NC." ToMoCo says not so. After all, "we build and sell four-wheel-drive vehicles that have developed an enviable reputation in the four-wheeling community and many of us here are enthusiastic four-wheelers." To that end, their donation "will be used only to fund conservation projects, train environmental leaders and offer volunteer opportunities, not for lobbying or legal efforts." Yes but… a contribution of that size will free Audubon to redirect organizational funds that would have been used for those purposes, increasing their legal and lobbying firepower.  

GM isn't the only automaker suffering from corporate ADD; Chrysler's marketing department seems similarly afflicted. Yesterday, they announced yet another marketing schtick. Hot on the heels of "New Day," the Consumer Advisory Board and "Chrysler Listens" comes "If you can dream it, we can build it." That seems like a pretty bold promise coming from a company that can't even get a subcompact car to market. Anyway, the press release quotes Spinmaster Supreme Deborah Meyer: "Chrysler is moving on all fronts to engage our customers and harness their insights, inspirations and dreams as we move quickly to develop and refine new technologies and products." That's great! I'll take a hybrid passenger car with room for five that gets 45mpg in the city, goes 0-60 in under seven seconds and handles like an M3. There… I've dreamed it. When can you build it?

Bloomberg reports a recent survey that shows Ford's initial quality is at the same level as Toyota's and Honda's. The survey, which ranked problems per 1k vehicles in the first three months of ownership, showed Ford's vehicles scored 1,284 against Toyota's and Honda's "statistically equivalent" 1,250. GM and Chrysler didn't do so well, scoring 1,367 and 1,744 respectively. Of course, Ford will crow about their "achievement" in their "Drive One" ads. What they won't tell you, though, is that Alan Mulally signed the figurative check to RDA Group for performing the survey. That's right folks — Ford bought the survey in which they placed so highly. I vented the editorial spleen when they did the same thing last year, so all I'll say this time is that it didn't seem to help their sales then so I hope they get their money's worth this time.

One topic that TTAC has steered clear of is the constant liveblogging of announcements about Knight Rider. I realize that retro-1980s stuff is cool for some people, and Knight Rider is nominally about a car with gadgets. But seriously, who cares? It's not previewing some heretofore unseen production model, and it's got all the same boring action as modern action films with fake car-chase scenes so over the top they're just mundane. How many times can we watch a car leap off a bridge, enter orbit, fix a satellite, re-enter the atmosphere, stop at Taco Bell and then land on a Persian rug? The Knight Rider debut had 13 million viewers, which is comparatively pretty high for fiction shows (but a fraction of what American Idol gets), but much like initial car interest, new TV shows often do well the first time, then their ratings fall off a cliff. Worst of all, this "futuristic" car isn't even that cool. If they really wanted to appeal to the male youth demo, why not have KITT be an Evo instead of a Mustang? Oh right, because Knight Rider is a giant commercial.

In a recent article in the New York Times, reps from GM and Toyota both told the newspaper that they are optimistic about the automotive market in the near future. They felt this way especially in light of the declining interest rates (checked your savings account's variable rate lately?) and the $600 stimulus checks that the Federal government is sending out … some time or the other. Without getting into an economics debate here, let's just say that $600 isn't a whole lot of money, the last year's worth of Fed actions cutting interest rates hasn't helped, Americans are in over their heads with debt, and GM has been offering 0% financing on cars for years. Ford is pleasantly candid in the article, saying "I'd like to be able to tell you the worst is behind us, but I really can't give you that assurance." In fact, Jim Farley at Ford (remember when he ran Lexus?) thinks that next quarter is going to be even worse. The article is just a gold mine of reality checks though, like Chrysler VP Steven Landry saying "I don't know if I can take another March like this one" and Toyota's US chief Bob Carter insightfully opined "We're not immune to economic cycles and downturns in the automotive industry."

Michigan-based ForeSee Results has set a new record for weirdest company name developed the first Automotive Website Satisfaction index, which shows that online car purchasing has plenty of room for improvement. The Detroit Free Press reports that Honda's website logged the best score among the six top brands in the 2,000 respondent survey, scoring an 80 compared to an industry-wide average of 78. The index uses methodology from the University of Michigan's American Customer Satisfaction Index and measures how effective the sites are in giving consumers the information they want, getting them into dealer showrooms and driving sales. With the the Detroit three, Honda, Toyota and Nissan all rating between 80 and 76, there's not much to differentiate between them, but there's plenty of opportunity for all six to improve to the 88 scored by Amazon.com. "You walk away from these Web sites feeling like they were designed by a committee," says Larry Freed, president and CEO of ForeSee Results. "There's a lot of noise on them."

In one of life's little ironies, Volkswagen is this year's "Official Vehicle" of Adolf Hitler's forgotten brainchild, the Olympic Torch Relay. With riots on the streets in Lhasa and reports of terrorism threats in China already marring the feel-good "One World, One Dream" vibes, the torch run was supposed to be a major  PR effort for the Chinese government and major sponsors. But things are not quite going to plan. The Guardian reports that pro-Tibet protesters broke a "tight security cordon" at Thursday's torch lighting ceremony, and are now planning multiple protests along the relay route. The convoy has already been held up several times due to protesters lying in front of the Vee-Dubs, and the Greek government is upping security in response to specific threats over the weekend. And the caravan of love hasn't even come close to the Nepal area yet where soldiers are already deploying to deal with protests. Maybe someone just needs to let everyone know that it's all good, man… these are green Volkswagens.

Chrysler cars are the industry's style leaders, at least according to Kelly Blue Book. In a press release dated yesterday, Chrysler proudly proclaims they won "Best Exterior Design – Non-Luxury Sedan/Coupe/Hatchback," one category of the 17 different KBB Brand Image Awards handed out at the New York Auto Show. The awards "recognize automakers' outstanding achievements in creating and maintaining brand attributes that capture the attention and enthusiasm of the new-vehicle buying public." The press release didn't say which specific model led to the award, but the Aspen and Town & Country are eliminated by the category. The PT Cruiser has been around since Bob Lutz was a Boy Scout and the 300's long over-due for a re-do. That leaves the Sebring as the style leader that  "captured the attention and enthusiasm of the new-vehicle buying public." If the Sebring displays the essence of Chrysler's "brand attributes," that explains everything you need to know about why the company's on life support. Just sayin'. 

Japanese leaders have been making noises about the Yen's slide against the dollar recently, prompting Detroit to whine about "Japanese interference in the currency market." According to Dow Jones (via CNN Money), the Big 2.8 were spooked by Japanese finance minister Fukushiro Nukaga's statement that his government will "keep watching movements in foreign exchange rates from now on." Japanese currency manipulation has long been one of Motown's pet peeves. The issue is a red herring; the majority of import-branded vehicles sold in the U.S. are made right here in the good old USA. Still, the accusations of sinister foreign forces manipulating international finances in their favor provides politicians with a welcome opportunity to look like they're fighting the good fight for American jobs and businesses. "Please stand up for American companies and workers by warning Japan that the United States will not sit idly by while it interferes in currency markets," wrote Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-MI) in a not-so-private letter to U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson. Hey, election campaigns don't fund themselves.

There are two main reasons why E85 is going nowhere fast: over-production and under-consumption. The U.S. Department of Energy has tackled the latter part of the non-equation with a federally-funded report exhorting gas station owners to get on the corn juice bandwagon. E85 Retail Business Case: When and Why to Sell E85 advises that "E85 offers relief from this [local] competition by differentiating a station as green, cutting edge, patriotic, and pro-farmer." So, greenwashing it is! What about, you know, making money? "E85 projects can be profitable investments. However, their profitability depends on numerous factors… This checklist includes robust local competition in the gasoline market, access to low E85 costs, mid-grade tanks available for conversion, large potential throughput of E85, and state or local incentives for E85 infrastructure." Large throughput as in sales? Good luck with that. Meanwhile, there's lots of agri-prop. My favorite argument: who cares about gas anyway? The money's in snack foods and car washes! And that's good news because "even if E85 drew no new customers but merely converted gasoline customers from the same store, the number of customer visits would increase. This is because a vehicle’s range is reduced by 23% to 28% when operating on E85 because of ethanol’s lower energy content compared to gasoline." The mind boondoggles. 

So I get an email from Ford PR man Alan Hall re: "Microsoft To Launch Sync-based In-Car Advertising." Our previous blog post (based on a C/Net article) summarized plans voiced by the GM of Microsoft's Automotive Business. Martin Thall was discussing the possibilities of in-car advertising in general. Our headline and lead mislead readers into believing that these plans necessarily involved Ford's SYNC system. Ford's flackmeister pointed-out that SYNC is Ford's baby. The Blue Oval Boyz will decide whether or not to allow in-car advertising on their version of Microsoft's automotive operating system platform, not Bill Gates' minions. We apologize for leaving the wrong impression about the "ownership" of the possibility of advertising on SYNC-equipped Fords– which Hall wouldn't rule out. "We may have ads on SYNC at some point," Hall said in a telephone interview. "Everything's on the table." Glad that's cleared up. [NB: the original post has been amended to remove the word "Ford" from the headline and lead.]

Officially, the GM embargo on G8 reviews (how quaint is that?) ends today. But since this is the internet, it means the embargo is over for everyone as soon as anyone decides to break it. [NB: any buff book or news source looking for a point man, here we are.] This time 'round, Motor Trend broke GM's embargo cherry; posting its homage de G8 on its site. Edmunds' Inside Line followed suit. And Popular Mechanics and Car and Driver joined the e-fray. In short, the G8 scoots from zero to sixty mph in about 5.4 seconds and… everyone likes the car a whole lot. As for TTAC, GM's press car ban remains the one embargo GM rigidly protects and enforces. Never mind. As soon as the G8s hit the dealers, my personal rear-drive savior has set one aside for a day for TTAC to evaluate. In the interim, enjoy the fluff!

[Pixamo gallery of new G8 here.]