In just a week’s time, we will be celebrating the election of President-Elect ObamaMcCainPalin Charles Barkley. Barkley, a retired NBA star who recently announced that he’s running for to be governor of Alabama in 2014. Anyway, back to President Charles Barkley: the thing is, Charles Barkley is really angry at the mismanagement of the Big 3 (I made that up). So he wants to ride around in a presidential limo that’s not from one of them. What should President Charles Barkley’s limo be? You can assume he stands at a more average height than his real-life 6’4″, and any car currently in production in the world is fair game. My choice, by the way, would be either a Toyota Sequoia or a Hyundai Genesis.
Being a fan of cars, you might find yourself liking cars that other people don’t. In fact, you should in yourself in the minority in some cars, or else you’ve become one of the “Honda or Die” people and in that case you probably also only drink Heineken. So assuming you’re not in that category, you probably have diverse – even somewhat obscure – interests. That means perhaps that you have a perverse appreciation for the Suzuki Verona, because it did have an inline-6 engine. Or Subaru SVX because it looked like a showcar, and had AWD and a flat six. Perhaps you like the Dodge Neon SRT4 because the turbo was just nasty. And since many of these views are so deeply in the minority, many of the cars we like are often flops. The general public just doesn’t like them. And that’s fine, because it means that usually these cars are cheaper to buy used. A lot of the cars on today’s Bob Lutz list fit into the category of great flops: the Merkur XR4ti, the Pontiac GTO, and the Pontiac G8. And while I like those, I have my own favorite car that was a total sales loser: Chevy Corvair. I love the design, the looks, the rear engine, the optional turbo, and the weird bodystyles available (Corvair Van!) and the fact that after they finished development (several years after it was released to the market, of course) it was actually quite good. What’s your favorite flop?
One of the best hands in No Limit Texas Hold-em: pocket kings. Cowboys. It’s a real monster. However, it’s quite vulnerable to middling hands such as Ace-Six offsuit. So the thing to do is to raise– and raise big. That way, you charge your opponents to see a flop. However, if you raise big every time you have a good starting hand, your tactic will become quite obvious to everyone seated at your table. They’ll just fold because a large raise from you means aces or kings. Not a very profitable habit, long term. How to combat this? Variance. While two kings are vulnerable, they aren’t that vulnerable. Maybe 20 percent of the time you want to just check your monster and limp in. Here’s the problem: how do you know when 20 percent of the time is? Solution: a watch with a sweeping second hand. Huh? Jump.
As you may (maybe) know, SEMA is right around the corner. As in next week (whoever scheduled it for November 4 needs their head examined). And what is SEMA you may be asking? Well, no one even remembers what “SEMA” stands for, but the show has come to represent all that’s wonderful and/or dreadful in the simply humongous after market, er, market. More than too many four-door cars with scissor doors, too. And SEMA is big. No, bigger than big. It’s quite gigantic and most of the major OEMs (from Dodge to Hyundai to Daimler) will have radically customized cars on display next to radically customized bikini models. And this fact got me thinking — who is doing all this customizing? Admittedly, my last WRX may have had a mod or two (or ten). But I was a much younger man back then. And not getting press cars all the time. My new WRX? Bone stock save for some fancy pants tires. Might I mod it? Dunno. As I age, I worry about reliability. And more boost sounds… expensive, in the long run. But dear readers, what about you?
Automotive News [AN sub] reports that GM is giving workers an extra week off over the holiday period at its Detroit-Hamtramck (Cadillac DTS, Buick Lucerns) and Bowling Green, Ky. (Chrevrolet Corvette, Cadillac XLR) plants. And no wonder. “As of Oct. 1, GM had a 95-day supply of the Corvette and a 215-day supply of the XLR. It had a 70-day supply of the Lucerne and a 50-day supply of the DTS.” Actually, a 50-day supply is quite good; the industry considers 60-days the sweet spot. But even so, the additional week off indicates the “pull” for all four vehicles is weaker than a snail darter on a deep sea rod and reel. A fact which AN confirms. “Through September, U.S. sales of all four of the vehicles have fallen from the first nine months of 2007: Corvette sales are down 9.5 percent to 23,384, XLR sales are off 26.3 percent to 1,039, Lucerne sales have declined 32 percent to 43,839 and DTS sales have dropped 32.4 percent to 25,790.” Whether intentionally or not, for once, GM’s spinmeisters offered a straighforward assessment of the reason behind the slow-down. “The market is telling us we don’t need that many cars,” GM spokesman Tony Sapienza admitted. Roger that. So to speak.
A TTAC reader writes: “I’d like to suggest a question for the QOTD: ‘What is the most elegant modern car on the market?’ If a person has a lot of money, and could afford any car they’d like, what could they buy that could show intelligence, money, class and taste? What is the modern timeless Talbot Lago? (On the off chance you do use this question, I’d rather not have my name mentioned.) Thanks!”
Earlier, Farago was repeating on the report that GM may (maybe) delay or cancel the new Buick LaCrosse and Cadillac CTS Coupe. Never mind the fact that “LaCrosse” means to masturbate in French Canada. Dear Leader ends the post with, “and who the Hell would buy a CTS coupe anyway?” When i read the query, it seemed odd. I like the CTS, as it possesses the best face of any American car since Cord went out of business. How to make it better? Well, you can either drop in a 556 hp supercharged V8, or cut off some of the doors. Oh, you can add another door, too (Caddywagon!). Yeah, so, an insanely good looking Caddy with two doors– who the hell wouldn’t buy it? And then I checked the comments and everyone agreed with me. To quote gamper, “CTS coupe = flippin beautiful.” Hear hear (here)! Right?
This question is for all the manny-tranny folks out there, so if you prefer the slush (or DSG toggles) move along. Ahem. This week Volvo has lent me a C30 T5 to review for TTAC (and Honda dropped a new Fit in my lap, but that’s another story). Anyhow, I requested that the C30 have a standard transmission because the last “premium” small car I tested was a Mini Cooper Clubman S and the autobox just killed it. Not going to let that happen this time. The C30 does in fact have a 6-speed, and it’s great because on the highway the engine spins at less than 3,000 rpm. Volvo claims 28 mpg, which might be a bit low. However, 6th gear is at the same position (back and to the right) as reverse. I’ve driven with shifters laid out like this and no matter what, I simply cannot shift into top gear without the lingering fear that I’m going to pop into reverse at 70 mph. It vexes me. With a 5-speed manual, I just don’t have this phobia. And if I do accidentally tell the transmission to go backwards at the wrong time, well, that’s my idiot fault. But what if reverse is near first gear? That irks me, too. Why? because when parking in a tight spot I’ve mistakenly gone into 1st instead of reverse and banged into an innocent car. So, miles per gallon aside, I prefer 5-speeds.The great irony is, I actually prefer 4-speeds. I just love those long gears. And I’m weird. You?
So GM had a confab for its dealers in Motown. As not all 38,743 store owners could attend this “it’s always darkest before the federal bailout” session, some bright spark in GM PR decided to video the event for those dealers who couldn’t make it (geographically-speaking). Bloomberg secured the tapes, and hesitates not a bit in sharing the low-down on the hoe-down with its readers, nor we with ours. “We will continue to take the tough but necessary actions to position the company, and you, for future success,” Troy Clarke, GM’s president for North America told the assembled throngs. “While no one can say exactly what the future is going to bring, you can be sure of this: General Motors is here to stay.” And just in case that wasn’t enough to reassure the faint-hearted amongst them… “We are evaluating all of our options all the time,” Clarke told the dealers. Marketing Mark LaNeve added his exhortations. “The company and its dealers need to find ways to increase profit and market share for GM’s cars and car-based SUVs, LaNeve said, without providing specifics. I’ll let you decide which of these bon mots qualifies for TTAC’s Quote of the Day.
As good of a driver as I like to think I am, I’m not very good. Especially when compared to race car drivers. In fact, by comparison, I’m a deaf, dumb and blind speed bump. As you may have heard, I got a ride in the Ferrari Enzo that Eddie Griffin munched up. Sadly, it was on the same track (MSR) that had just hosted the 24 Hours of LeMons in Texas. Meaning that conditions were sub-optimal. That’s putting it kindly. As such, we were going sideways in a $1.2 million Enzo. Thank the maker that an actual competent and talented hot foot (Michael Mills) was behind the wheel and I was left to just giggle and hoot (I do lead the league in giggling/hooting). Still, on the straights Mr. Mills was able to open the taps of the 6.2-liter V12 and holy Toledo! The noise is thrilling, soothing and intoxicating all at once. Better still, the Enzo is fast in ways that other cars simply aren’t. There was never a hint of that motor running out of steam as we crested 150 mph on the back straight. And the brakes, well, what do you think. Long story short, I’m a very lucky man. But it wasn’t the ride of my life. No, that was in a NASCAR around the big oval at Pomona. Serenity at 180 mph? You bet your Junior Johnson Pork Cracklins. You?
God knows some journalist somewhere is checking to see if Joe the Plumber paid the vehicle tax on… whatever it is he drives. OK, so the profile: plumber, aspiring licensed plumber, aspiring licensed plumber aspiring to own his own business (I’m sure Joe’s boss was a bit nonplussed by that one). Does he need a worktruck? If so, his boss would probably provide it (and claim it as a depreciating asset). So what do we reckon Joe makes a year now? Fifty k? And let’s say his wife works too. Does he even have a vehicle of his own? And if he did, what would it be?
As many of you know I manage Autofiends.com . Our unofficial motto (can’t get the tech guys to change the site…) is “No Boring Cars.” Which means as the news of the day rolls in (grist to the mill) I need to parse it to determine what is and what isn’t “boring.” For instance there’s those pics of the new Prius that Jalopnik has whipped itself into its daily frenzy over (PRIUSGASM!!!!). And through the magic of search engine optimization Autofiends could probably get some decent traffic out of the post. More traffic makes the boss happy and (maybe) gets me more money! Only problem: the Prius is dull. Like, rock in sand dull. And not fancy Japanese rocks in Zen sand, but regular Texas Hill Country rocks in Great Plains dust. There’s a lady I know and I think she’s massively boring. She falls asleep at parties, says perhaps one sentence over the course of a night out and at restaurants has the tastes of a six-year-old. I mean really, what adult says, “I hate tomatoes?” To further solidify my view I saw her driving away in a white 1998 Toyota Camry. Which makes perfect sense, as I can’t think of a more boring car. Before you accuse me of Toyota bashing, let me state up front that I think the AE86 Corolla is one the most exciting cars ever built. Especially certain nitrous powered Formula D AE86s that pull away from Vipers on the track. Some of them 1,000 hp Supras are pretty damn thrilling, too. So I ask you: what makes boring?
I just experienced one of the pivotal moments in the life of an auto journalist. That’s right, a PR peep decided that it would be beneficial for Lamborghini to let yours truly spend a few days with a $222k Gallardo LP560-4.You get up every day, you write with your best straight face about latest blurred teaser image, creatively regurgitate press releases and think of something compelling to say about a unibody crossover. All in the hopes that someday, somehow the light at the end of the tunnel will have more than 500 hp and an overdose of Italian leather. Then you learn the wonderful truth that the light is actually in the tunnel (seriously — you need to hear the V10 at full wail in a confined space). But then you climb back into your car (in this case a 2006 WRX Wagon) and you realize, “This is pretty good.” Sure, you had to remove half the intake system to change a headlight and your throw-out bearing is 500 miles from dead. But the car has given me 60,000+ miles of driving satisfaction and only set me back $25K (ignore financing, insurance, gas, body repairs, tires, anal-retentive synthetic oil changes, detailing, clutches, etc). Is that Lambo worth nine times as much as my Subaru? Will it give me nine times the driving satisfaction? “Of course not,” you reassure yourself. “No way, no how.” Then you remember our capacity for self-deception which is not only inherent to all men, but very well be what makes us human. Hell yes I would take the Lamborghini. Hell yes. You?
“These are incredibly unusual times,” GM Chief Executive Officer Rick Wagoner said today at the 100th anniversary celebration of Harvard Business School in Boston. “All the sudden, somebody blows the whistle and credit stops flowing. It really requires you to say, `Let’s think about this business one more time.'” Oh, go on then…
As the U.S. economy craters, the price of gas is about to fall below $3 a gallon. Most experts believe that lower fuel costs will not lead American consumers into gas-guzzling SUVs anytime soon. If at all. Given the sudden arrival and frentic pace of the last gas price spike, even an extended period of low, stable fuel prices wouldn’t convince American consumer to “trust” lower pump prices. In other words, an entire generation of drivers may have suffered “pump trauma.” And until somebody buys the damn things, and lots of ’em, SUV and pickup truck residual values will remain low enough to make an ant’s ankles look like Godzilla’s eyeballs (or something like that). But hey, that’s the 411 from “experts,” not TTAC’s Best and Brightest. So I turn to you for a more thoughtful analysis. Will Americans “forgive” their gas guzzlers and “forget” their pain at the pump, plumping for ye olde guzzlers when the economic crisis passes? If so, how long would it take? What effect would cheap gas have on eco-oriented whips like the Chevy Volt and Toyota Prius?
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