Supercars used to be the world’s fastest hairshirts: hot, restrictive, smelly and uncomfortable. They were also completely unreliable and as dangerous as a Cape buffalo (with roughly similar handling). On the right road, under the right conditions, with all cylinders firing, they still sucked. I burst that bubble the first (and last) time I got behind the wheel of a Maserati Bora. But hope (coil) springs eternal. Until I drove enough icons to think, oh God, here we go again. What’s the rattling under the hood the Lotus Espirt? A loose rubber band? At some point, supercars cleaned-up their act. They’re now as docile as most modern Audis– if not actually being a modern Audi. Suits me fine. Now when I get into a bad ass car, I expect everything. And get it. BUT there are a few machines I’ve owned that started-off offering me everything and ended-up giving me Arpege. (’70’s joke.) The Jeep Grand Cherokee was a bad ass hot rod that got cheaper every ten minutes, rattling more than a church full of snake handlers. And I couldn’t wait to get rid of my 4.3-liter TVR Chimaera, a bad ass hot rod that got crazier with every drive. So what car did you start off loving– whether from near or afar– that ended-up like the first wife from Hell?
Category: Question of the Day
Easy answer for me: Porsche 914. Justin and I talked about this (kinda) on today’s Podcast. He still hates it. But not me. I really, really admire the diminutive sports car. That’s right, I said sports car. Before I explain why, let me explain why I used to be a hater. There’s an entire class of cars I dislike because they were driven by the biggest assholes at my high school. Specifically, ’55 Chevys, all Chevelles, Toyota 4-Runners and Porsche 914s. VW Bugs were a mixed bag. The most date rapingest quarterback had one (I played center — I have issues) but so did a close friend. So, we’ll call it a wash. Anyhow, jerks drove the 914 and I had always heard that in Europe they sold it as “just” a Volkswagen. But a dear friend of mine — Davey G Johnson — showed me the error of my ways. By using facts! And while it is true that both companies sold the car, the bulk of the development was handled by Porsche. Any guesses as to who specifically was in charge of the 914 project? If you guessed Ferdinand Piech, pat yourself on the back. You may recall that Piech is the man responsible for the Volkswagen Phaeton. But, he also willed the Bugatti Veyron into existence. More importantly he brought about the all-crushing, all-dominating Porsche 917. Seriously, they canceled Can-Am because nothing could compete with the 917. Not one race, but the whole series. So, the 914 has some pedigree. Lots of success on the track, too. Don’t believe me? How does a 6th overall finish at Le Mans grab you? And yes, I know I said 7th on the Podcast. Again, not 6th in its class, but 6th overall. Why, that’s amazing! Especially when you consider the cars it beat, which include a bevy of 911s and Corvettes, Alfa Romeo T33/3s, several Ferraris, several Porsche 908s and even a 917. Hell yes I now love the 914. You?
If you like cars, it’s happened to you. There you are, minding your own business when suddenly a car rolls up and you start gasping. You’re suddenly 8-years-old and screaming, “DADDY! FERRARI!” Now, living in Los Angeles like I do, this happens to me fairly frequently. I mean, make an errant left hand turn and you’re next to a fully restored Jaguar Series I E-Type. In fact my girl and I were cruising through Malibu in the 1981 Corvette when at a single red light there was a burgundy E-type, a BMW 850 and a Dodge Viper. Though, the E-type was orders of magnitude more breathtaking. But, this is by no means a Southern California occurrence. I remember years ago walking out of a meeting in Montreal and there was a glossy red Ferrari 360 parked on the street. It was stunning. Just… I couldn’t believe the curves. Then, on the way to dinner I came across an orange 1975 (or so) Lamborghini Countach. Probably an LP400 .You know, the OG design before the wings and strakes made it into a Miami coke dealer stereotype. It was just perfect, especially sitting on the cobblestones of Côte Saint-Luc. The other day I was driving through Beverly Hills (don’t ask) and facing me, trying to make a left turn, was a white Maserati GranTurismo. It was as if time slowed down and there were mutli-colored refrigerators zooming all around this piece of fine art. But, the last car to totally disarm me attacked this very morning. I was exchanging a 2009 WRX for my 2006 WRX and there was a 1970 Porsche 911S. Completely stock. Black with a black interior. I even got to open the door and smell the leather. Magnificent. And check this out — the 911S used to belong to none other than Freeman Thomas. And he went over it with a very fine toothed comb. You?
I remember wheeling into a parking lot and slotting next to a Porsche Carrera 4 in my Porsche Carrera 4. “What do you think of the car?” I asked. “It makes me a hero,” the owner replied. True dat. A driver of no particular skill can corner a C4 (or Turbo) at speeds normally reserved for people for whom the words “it seems a bit skittish on the edge” are not synonmous with “Holy shit, I am NEVER doing THAT again!” And then I bought a Boxster S. While the Boxster is not as fast as a Carrera (by any real world metric), it’s more fun at the kind of speeds that still endanger your license, but don’t require an actual jail stay. But I didn’t buy a Boxster for many years– until Porsche finally put the 3.4 amidships. It may be more fun driving a slow car fast than a fast car slow, but if you can drive a fast car that’s fun to drive slowly, well, isn’t that the ideal? In other words, which of these beauties would you prefer, assuming you’d use them on both road and track? And what’s you general rule in this regard?
An eagle-eyed TTAC commentator unearthed this little gem from AutoWeek of April ’07. Like Mr. Chen, I think it’s sufficiently germane (House Bunny!) to last month’s Flex sales that it deserves resurrection. “The pivotal moment in the Flex’s development came, Ford design chief J Mays said, when he and his North American lieutenant, Peter Horbury, convinced the rest of the organization that rear sliding doors cost too much. Even though the Fairlane concept that inspired the Flex had suicide doors, the production vehicle was being planned with rear sliders. ‘When we took the sliding doors off, suddenly there was money in the product program freed up magically to put higher-grade materials, fantastic-quality leather, 8-inch DVD drop-down screen in the back, optional refrigerator, glass roof,’ Mays said. “Suddenly money was falling from the heavens because we didn’t have those damn sliding doors on it anymore.” So, Ford says it sold 1,959 Flexes in September, 7552 year-to-date. (Early sales stats were pinned on a slow roll-out.) Meanwhile, Ford’s “other crossovers” have tanked. The Ford Edge slipped 43 percent for the month, while the Taurus X was down 63 percent. Should the Flex have been a minivan? Or… not bothered in the first place, and promoted the Hell out of the X instead?
Those of you keeping up on your podcasts know that Justin and I are not fans of hard top convertibles. We feel they are too much of a compromise. And they make the donor car look funny (Mercedes SL being the exception). To me, hard top convertibles can best be summed up by the Simpsons (and really — what can’t?). Some of you may remember the infamous Poochie episode, where Itchy & Scratchy’s ratings were tanking and the producers decided it was time to add a new character in the form of the “original dog from hell,” Poochie. But before they came up with Poochie, they conducted a little focus group. “Okay, how many of you kids would like Itchy & Scratchy to deal with real-life problems, like the ones you face every day? (the kids all cheer and agree) And who would like to see them do just the opposite — getting into far-out situations involving robots and magic powers? (more cheering) So, you want a realistic, down-to-earth show… that’s completely off-the-wall and swarming with magic robots? (The kids agree).” This forces Roger Meyers to come out from behind the one way glass and chastise, “You kids don’t know what you want! That’s why you’re still kids: ’cause you’re stupid!” I basically feel that way about hard top convertibles — they’re stupid. Go with one or the other, as the middle of the road is the best place to get hit by a truck. You?
Kinda of a chicken and egg question here, but what the Hell. I like to think I’m basically a good person. The problem of course is that everybody likes to think they’re a good person. Yet the world is filled with people like the Honda Prelude driver I got stuck behind at 32 mph for two miles this morning. The other day I was (surprise!) driving with my girl on a very twisty one-and-a-half lane road near our house. As the particular section we were traversing was residential, I was just lugging along in second gear. Wouldn’t want to crush a Big Wheels (and have even more neighbors hang up “SLOW DOWN! CHILDREN!” signs all over the damn place). Suddenly, from seemingly nowhere, we’re face to face with a gun metal Hummer H2, charging uphill as if loaded with VX gas and being whipped by General Francis X. Hummel. Thanks to the superior superiorness of the Mazda RX-8 R3, I was able to brake, turn, scoot out of the way and flip the prick off. My girlfriend exploded, “Only awful people drive those things.” Before my adrenaline returned to normal, I was in total agreement. But, ten seconds later I said, “really?” She stuck to her guns. “You have to be a complete asshole without regard for anyone else to drive a Hummer.” Now, this is coming from the same woman who though the Bullitt ‘Stang sounded, “Wasteful.” But… at least in terms of the H2, I think she has a point. You?
Justin called me grumpy. That would be like the son of a Navy Admiral who’s been a high profile Senator for nearly three decades while marrying a billionaire beer distribution heiress calling the mixed-race son of a single mom from Kansas “elite.” But I digress, I was not so much grumpy as surprised that the new Audi S4 has less power than the new S4. Kinda surprising. That said, I always liked the older S4 with the twin-turbo 2.7-liter V6 more than I ever did the newer, heavier V8 powered S4. Sure, a WRX of the time (2002) ran circles around it, but you could slap a Stage IV kit on the old-old S4 and POW! Straight to the moon, officer! However, by all measures (both SAE and my fat butt) the C6 Corvette is the best ‘Vette ever. It just is. Sure you could factor in looks and interior (looks: C3 > C6 — interior: C2 > C6) but Corvette owners don’t factor in looks and/or interior. Meaning we’re not going to either. And if the new Camaro ever shows up, it will be miles better than any of its ancestors. I know this because the 2015 (or is that 2010?) Camaro is based on a shortened version of the Zeta Chassis that underpins my new love, the Pontiac G8 GT. However, however — what about the BMW M5? If you pull the limiter off the new one (E60 M5), it can go over 200 mph and it seats five. 507 hp V10, too. But, compared to the E39 M5, the new M5 is Robocop II. Bigger, louder, more deafening but ultimately not nearly as satisfying or more importantly fun as plain old Robocop. That’s right, I’m calling the E39 M5 Robocop. [Ed – you bet your ass it is]. Newer cars might have better stats, but sometimes they just don’t have the spirit. You?
Like many of you, I grew up in a car seat lashed to the front seat of my father’s Datsun 280Z while being flung hither and tither in the canyons between Malibu and the San Fernando Valley. Strike that “like many of you” part. Still, that’s how I came into this world. Dad was an avid Sunday driver, in the sense that his favorite thing to do was to get in the car and just drive around for the day. We ran many miles on many of the nation’s (if not the world’s) best driving roads. One sticks out in particular, however — Decker Canyon. It’s an 11-mile stretch of tortuous asphalt that connects Westlake Village to the Pacific Coast Highway. Also known as California State Route 23, Decker has always been the first place I’ve taken whatever car I just purchased first. And why not? “This portion provides numerous beautiful vistas of the Santa Monica Mountains and the Pacific Ocean during daytime, but extreme caution is advisable, especially as the road nears PCH. It is a notoriously dangerous road, and the rusted chassis of cars that have gone over the side can still be seen. Bassist Philip Taylor Kramer of the rock band Iron Butterfly allegedly committed suicide by driving his van over the side along this route.” For pistonheads, Decker is the Garden of Eden, baby. However, since the 1970s more and more houses have sprouted up along the once pristine driving road. Meaning that more often than not you are stuck behind a PT Cruiser. Why not pass? Because a Buick Enclave is without question coming the other way. These days I have a new favorite — Little Tujunga Canyon Road — “Li’l T” to those in the know. It’s hard to argue with a sign saying, “Curves Next 18 Miles.” Plus, when you’re passing BMWs on blind corners you’ve only got oncoming Ducatis to worry about, not Buicks. And now, you?
From time to time, even those of us on the inside of TTAC forget that one of our primary missions to help you make smart, informed purchases. Some of you might remember my friend who was torn between a slightly used Honda Accord and a slightly more used Infiniti G35 (she would up with a brand new Mazda 3 thanks largely to our 10 Best list). However, she ain’t a TTAC reader. You are. But, in addition to TTAC, you probably read other stuff. Like maybe a newspaper. And that newspaper might have informed you that thanks to Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch and AIG getting so smacked by the sub-prime mess that your 401K is now puny and sad. I know that’s what happened to me. However, I also know that lots of good folks are desperate to get out of their big ole SUVs and into cars that suck a little less gasoline. I know it ain’t news (or is it?) but times are tough. Personally, I was pretty desperate to get my girl out of her rapidly dying 2001 Ford Focus and into a brand new Mazda Miata. But then I fixed her cooling system and we’ve decided to wait until the Focus kills itself. I give it 18-months. But what about you? Bought anything new lately? And if you have, has TTAC (or someone else) helped you make that decision?
Tomorrow marks the 100-year anniversary of General Motors. It also marks a 6am reveal of the Chevy Volt at the RenCen (we have got to talk to the postman). Anyhow, one whole century is a whole lot of cars. Like, a whole Hell of a lot of cars. In fact, I’m starting to realize the ludicrous scope of this QOTD as I type it. With so much history (and much of it so good), even just picking my favorite decade is difficult. A few cars jump to mind. Cadillacs from the 1950s. Corvettes from the 1960s. Oh jeeze, a 1965 Pontiac GTO, right? But wait– what about a 1970 Judge? And we can’t forget the Corvair, now can we? And now my mind is filled with thoughts of the 1986 Buick GNX. Definitely the best GM car ever. Except for the new CTS-V and ZR1. And I might even like the C4 ZR1 best of all. This is a tough one. My first car was a 1985 Pontiac Parisienne Safari Sation Wagon. It was set up for towing, so instead of the standard 140 hp 305, it had a 400 from a Chevy truck with an unspecified amount of power. It also (supposedly) had truck brakes and a truck transmission. Well, the “Lieberwagon” did make it to 283k some miles before turning itself into a seven-cylinder. And before it did, I once took eleven humans and a drum set from Sonoma County to Sacramento then back. So, that’s my favorite GM car. Yours?
You want to know a secret? Justin and I spend way too much girlfriend angering time on eBay looking for screamin’ deals. OK, it’s a pretty lousy secret. But it yields fun finds. For instance, your new Editor in Chief found a 2004 Maybach 57 with only 30k miles on the clock for the low, low (well, not that low) buy it now price of $164k. Sure, that’s more than a house costs in middle America. But we’re all plutocrats here, so what do we care? And remember, these babies are $339k new (about $7,075 a month). Of course, things haven’t been so hot in the plutocrat biz lately. Sub-prime crisis, Russian mob muscling in on the rest of your business and all those divorces. I mean, $164k is a lot of scratch for a used car that has no chance of ever appreciating. Maybe then you should do the smart thing. For about the same number of greenbacks, you could get your driver behind the wheel of a brand spanking new Mercedes-Benz S600. Like the Maybach. it has 12 cylinders, two turbochargers, as much power as certain Greek gods and the hides from several dead cows. Newer chassis, too. No need to be frivolous. But… Maybach. I’m torn. You?
Ford, GM and Chrysler want $50b worth of low-interest federal loans. At the moment, the loans are specifically restricted to adapting 20-year-old manufacturing plants to build fuel-efficient cars. The money is, in the parlance, “earmarked.” Detroit would like you to believe that the limited use makes the moola a “green” initiative rather than a bailout. But it’s obvious enough (if you think about it) that any money spent re-tooling factories saves The Big 2.8 money that they would have spent re-tooling factories. Which can then be spend on whatever they damn well please. And that brings us to the inconvenient truth that a lot of Detroit’s products, and billions of dollars worth of parts that make their products, don’t come from the U.S.A. In the pre-election shuffle, Barack and friends are making noises that the federal loans will protect American jobs. But aren’t The Big 2.8 complicit in eliminating American manufacturing jobs? And if it’s all about jobs, well, there are roughly 400k Detroit auto workers. Why not just give the workers an option of a $125k buyout apiece, courtesy of Uncle Sam? Or spend the $50b on lowering barriers for other automakers to build in the U.S. Seriously. What’s your idea for a better way to spend this money to create/protect American automaking jobs?
Here we go again — the always churning, ever yearning, never learning rumor mill is speculating that Pontiac might be headed for an Oldsmobile style fate (i.e. murdered without dignity). But I remember that when Olds was put down, it had no reason to live. Does Pontiac? And seeing as how my very first car was a Pontiac, do I care if the brand gets driven off one final cliff? Looking at their line up, that’s a tough call. Shall we go one by one? G6 — meh. G5 — double meh. The new G3 (a rebadged Chevy Aveo) is actually grounds for homocide. Grand Prix? OK, that’s just sad. I mean, it’s old, not much bigger than the G6, and its only selling point — you can get the maniac GXP version with a V8 — has been rendered moot by the G8. Torrent — what the hell’s a Torrent? Anyhow, I couldn’t care less. The all new Vibe is a Toyota Corolla. So far, I wouldn’t shed a tear. The Solstice. Oooooh. Suddenly my heart is in this. The Solstice is gorgeous, and a wonderful counter punch to all that the General has accomplished over the last three decades (outliers like the Vette and GNX excepted). Then there’s the aforementioned G8. You will be reading my review of this car next week but let me just say that in my mind the G8 and the G8 alone is reason enough not to kill Pontiac. What do you think?
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