Y’all ready to impersonate 12-year-old boys? Cool. Hunter S. Thompson had a quick question he used to sum people up, “Beatles or Stones?” I’m thinking “Ferrari or Lamborghini?” is the automotive corollary. So let’s stop and think for a minute — both makes offer gobs of power from exotic engines, savage shapes and the type of instant prestige you can only hope to buy. Ferraris are pretty sweet. I mean, the racing history alone might grab a few (or many) votes. From the 166M to the 250 GTO to the 333 SP the results speak louder than my best metaphors. And that’s not even taking into account F1. And what about the road cars? Daytona? 288 GTO? F40? F430? Etc, etc? Like wow, dude. But then you have the raging bulls, the supercars that Ferruccio Lamborghini built specifically to spite Enzo and his long standing “the customer is always wrong” policy. I’m talking Miura, Countach, Diablo, Murcielago and Gallardo here. Not to mention the LM002 and Espada. There’s also the fact that most Ferrari owners would happily pledge Omega House. I’m not saying that Lamborghini owners are necessarily Delta Tau Chi material, but what do you think Bluto, D Day and Otter would drive?
Category: Question of the Day
Car Guy: 1. A person that lives and breathes cars; can tell you not only the make and model of every car on the street, but the displacement and power ratings as well. 2. A car enthusiast that values performance over practicality, comfort, reliability and efficiency (see Alfa Romeo Owner). For today’s QOTD purposes, lets stick with definition number two. Good? That said, I’m fortunate enough this week to be blasting all over Los Angeles in a Pontiac G8 GT (that’s the one with the 6.0-liter 361 hp V8 — more later). In my eyes, the Pontiac from down unda is a car guy’s car. Potent, fairly crude, not so hot on gas and a genuine thrill to drive. This morning (doing about 90 mph up a 6% grade) I passed a New Beetle Convertible. It had an orange top and matching orange rims. My gut, reptilian brain reaction was to smash it off the road. Who would drive such a dorky buggy? But is the Bug that J Mays penned any less of a car guy car than a Toyota Corolla/Camry? What about a (perish the thought) minivan? Or, the press car I traded last night for the G8, a Lincoln MKX? Yeah, the Ford Edge with 50 Cent’s teeth. I’m going to stick with the sherbet New Beetle. You?
I prefer to buy my shopping from a company in the UK called "The Co-op." It's an ethical supermarket, which invests its profits into schemes which benefit society (says them). This got me thinking, would you NOT buy a car from a company for moral reasons? Henry Ford I was a raging anti-Semite, Toyota overwork their staff, Nissan are bullying a small company to relinquish www.nissan.com (despite Nissan computers traded as "Nissan" back when Nissan was Datsun) and Volkswagen was borne of a brutal dictatorship. Maybe you can't bear the thought of your money going to GM to fund their outrageous executive pay schemes? Or maybe there's a company who you LIKE to buy from because they support a cause you like? Do morals or some other personal belief come into your car buying habits?
Warning: you might want to turn down your volume when that Audi TT with a new turbo upgrade hits full boost. The last time I heard a whine like that was when the Pratt & Whitney engines on my jet spooled-up, developing 21k lbs of thrust apiece; and it only does 0 – 60 mph in about 15 seconds (and then 60 – 250 mph in another 15). Which brings me to my question. I've seen many a car "tuned" beyond belief, many with ridiculous body kits to emphasize the fact. How much tuning on a car it too much? When does the tuning destroy the car's original character and turn it into a peaky, unreliable mess? I like it when people modify cars, especially when it builds upon the car's strengths and tones down its weakness (like the above Audi). But looking around me on Friday nights, sometimes I think it gets a bit extreme. What say you?
Bit of a philosophical one today. You may or may not have seen news about the upcoming V Eight Jensen Interceptor SX. I've been thinking of little else. Which got me thinking, is there a particular country that I identify with the most in car terms? Well, I am American, so America? Sadly, no. Now I appreciate muscular metal in a big way. But on a deeper level, a Chevelle SS leaves me cold. Maybe too many assholes drove them in high school. Germany? Fast and potent, but a bit too precise for precisions sake. See Gregory Peck in Boys From Brazil for more on that. Japan? See Germany, but with less power. Obviously that leaves Italy. Beautiful, extroverted cars we all lust after. And those interiors! But I'm kinda fat; I could never fit into those designer jeans. Not in good faith at any rate. France? Almost, as if I had lots of disposable income I'd own lots of oleopneumatic cars. But they're missing something. Like potent engines. Australia? Well, they certainly have engines, but I get the impression their cars also drag their knuckles. Which leaves us with Britain. Aston Martin, Lotus, TVR, MG, Triumph, Rolls-Royce, MINI, Caterham, Bentley, Noble, Jaguar and of course, Jensen? God save the Queen. You?
Some of you may remember last week when I "advised" my friend to go ahead and purchase a Citroen SM. Your collective reaction was swift and merciless. So much so that she didn't buy it. However, I got a very frenzied phone call from her yesterday. She was at a Honda dealer, they were all out of Fits. But there were two cars she liked and now she needed my advice. In the white corner, with just 1,000 miles on the clock is a 2008 4-banga, automatic Accord. Priced to move at $21,600. In the kinda-pewter, kinda-gunmetal corner is a 2006 Infiniti G35. Also a slushbox, but with a very healthy VQ V6. While it's cheaper than the accord (just $20,000) it has 50,000 miles on it. "Well," I began. "The accord is the more logical choice. It's essentially brand new. It'll get better mileage than the G and most likely last forever. The Infiniti's engine will last even longer than the Honda's (those VTEC headgaskets love to die) but you'll start getting Lucasian electrical gremlins at 100,000 miles and there is no question the AC, CV joints and windows will stop working by 150,000. No question." And then I paused. Could I in good faith really advise someone to buy an Accord — especially a slushy four-cylinder — instead of a RWD entry-level luxury/performance 3-Series competitor? No way in hell! "You know what though, the $1,600 you save on the Infiniti will cover the gas mileage difference. Also, Accords are one of the most stolen cars. You should get the G35." Bad?
Jalopnik managed to stage the picture you see stuck in this post. It's a shot of a Shelby GT500KR, a Dodge Challenger SRT8 and a Chevy Camaro V6. That's right, all three of America's pony cars together somewhere in San Diego. Sure, some people are going to bark and holler that the big 2.8 are several years (decades?) late to the party, gas prices, global meltdown and all that. Personally, I don't care. I love RWD, V8 two-doors. Especially affordable ones.That's my story and I'm sticking to it, come hell or high water (or melted ice cap-powered tsunamis). Now, out of the three mallets in the above photo, I'm obviously taking the Shelby. The SRT8 is a fat pig and I'll pass on the V6 Camaro. But I've heard that the Challenger R/T with its six-speed is much more fun to drive, even though it's down on power. And I'm sure a Camaro with an LS3 engine and a 6-speed would be one hell of a machine. Of course, would either of the challengers to the Mustang's throne be able to come anywhere close to the mechanical perfection that is the Bullitt? I'm thinking no. You?
As you may have seen, Car and Driver did what they're supposed to do and stuck five Nissan GT-Rs on dynamometers to find out just what's up with the cars' world-beating performance. Er, I should say to find out what's up with the discrepancy between their various performances. C&D concluded that U.S. non-press cars make about 520 hp at the crank. Our man Berkowitz concluded that Nissan is feeding the buff books (and Edmunds) ringers. Regardless, does it matter? Here's a for instance… You know the Bugatti Veyron and how it makes 1,001 hp from its quad-turbo, 8.0-liter W16 motor? Well, in Europe it makes 1,020 hp. Something to do with the difference between our more accurate SAE net and the funny Euro (probably metric) whatever system. How does Bugatti explain it? The engines actually produce 1,040 hp, so who cares? And that's kinda my point. Remember when Mazda got "nailed" a few years ago for overrating the horsepower in the Miata. They said it made 155 hp, but in reality it only made 142 hp. Did it really effect the car? Or, closer to (my) home 2006 Subaru WRX had 230 hp when I bought it. Then a few months later the SAE rejiggered how they measure horsepower. Now my car makes 224 hp. Which is actually three horses less than my 2001 WRX. Do i care? Actually, I do. That really pissed me off. You?
Hang around Herr Farago long enough and you'll eventually hear, "The Brand isn't everything; it's the only thing." Of course I've made a pretty good career out of disagreeing with Farago about nearly everything. See, I believe that products trump brand. Case in point, Porsche. The Cayenne was a brand killer, right? A travesty of all that Porsche stands for and all that Porschephiles believe in. And I agree with them totally. Except for the Turbo model, a vehicle so good in so many ways that I want one. And remember, to the brand faithful, the mid-engined (and therefor sacrilegious) Boxster is just as terrible as the Cayenne, even if the little roadster is more fun to drive than big daddy 911. Or how about Volkswagen. Personally, I've never cared for many VWs. Sure, I like GTIs just fine but aside from (some of) those, pass. However, I loved the brand defying Touraeg V10 TDI and I lust after a Phaeton. The latter being one of the best cars ever made, badge be damned. And I'm fine with that. And how about Buick? They've got their brand down pat (old people and old people who golf) but I'm not interested in any of their products, even as loaner press cars. But what about Jaguar? A friend of mine asked for my advice on a car. Turned out he decided his 12-year-old Plymouth Breeze just wasn't saying all the right things about him, and he wanted a vehicle that broadcast his socio-economic achievements to the world. "So I'm thinking something upmarket, like an Audi A4 or a Jaguar X-Type." I was taken aback. Jaguar X-Type? Why on earth would he want one of those? "It's a Jaguar, they're classy." Really?
So, like most of you, I spend a lot of time talking about cars with my friends when it's time for them to buy. Talking with a dear friend of mine who has $20,000 to spend, I ran through my usual you're-not-a-car-person holy trinity of Honda Fit/Mazda 3/Subaru Impreza — cars I believe achieve the perfect balance of cost, reliability and fun to drive. But in regard to that last point, while they are fun to drive, they ain't that fun. She inquired about Audis and Volkswagens. Der Germans would mean used and I can't in good faith advise a dear friend to get a use Audi/VW, can I? BMW? Well, I told her, you could get a lotta BMW for $20,000, but you could also be burning wheel bearings and frying ECUs (or whatever other weird gremlins 50,000 mile BMWs develop). The conversation went on for a bit, and then I showed her a 1972 Citoren SM (see photo) I've been tracking on eBay Motors for a few days. $9,000. Lifetime California car. Well maintained, no rust and the hydraulics work. 3 owners. Life is short. SM stands for "Sport Maserati." It has a Maserati engine. You kinda need to own a car like this once in your life. She's single, no children and she can afford it. And the $11,000 she saves will keep a couple of French and Italian mechanics fat and drunk off table wine for a few years to come. What do you think?
I know the fat dude on Family Guy coined the term, and Berkowitz adopted it, but man– did this dude grind my gears yesterday. Many of the freeways in Los Angeles have traffic lights at their entrances. This is a very well thought out system to temporarily delay you from getting stuck in traffic. I mean, 10 seconds at a red light beats sitting in traffic (somehow) right? And many of these very same freeways have carpool entrance lanes. This means that if their are two of you in the car, you can bypass the red light and get stuck in traffic immediately. See, that's progressive. Anyhow, today I'm getting on the 134 in Glendale and even though there isn't any traffic, I have to wait for the light. Clocking my rearview I notice the white white Honda Civic with exactly one passenger in it is going around me on the right in the carpool lane. Solo. As my bile is building — I don't like cheaters — I notice when he passes me his car is slathered with yellow High Occupancy Lane access stickers. It's a fragging hybrid! That's right, if you drive a Prius-like vehicle you can bop along in the carpool lane all by your lonesome while the rest of us sit still. But here's my point — I don't care how good your city mileage is, a hybrid under hard acceleration getting on a freeway is going to make as much pollution as my car. Probably more, as its puny NA engine is going to have to work harder to schlep the extra battery weight. Thanks for always thinking ahead, California! And am I weird for being more upset that a hybrid was essentially able to cheat it's way in front of me legally than if the putz had just broken the law and ran the light? Maybe I am. But I'm calm now. So, you?
Cornering's the thing, but I am an absolute horn dog for automotive aural sex. Yes, I bought an E39 M5 for the stealth style, comfort and continent-crushing high speed stability. But it was the car's low-speed V8 burble that captured my heart. I held off from Boxsterhood until Porsche finally put some genuine aggression in its exhaust note. (I could easily understand why a pistonhead would prefer a Corvette over a Porsche based on relative exhaust notes.) Folks, I've got 47 of my favorite engine sounds on my iPod. SL55 AMG. Ford GT. Lamborghini Murcielago. And the rest. And I still think the Ferrari F355's flat-plane crank eight-cylinder engine is the world's best sounding powerplant. It's nuts, then crazy, then insane, then maniacal, then the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse leaving hoof-prints on your temporal lobe. You? [NB: Wait until the end of this video.]
As you may or may not have seen, Nissan is building a convertible Murano. OK, so… besides the obvious question (what were they drinking?), I'm starting to see the 4-door crossover drop top as a good idea. A few reasons why. I recently drove the new Murano. It was so dull that not only do I barely remember spending a week with it, but the TTAC governing body told me to not even bother with a review (it would have been a Second Take, granted). Besides looking like a moon buggy, the 17 mpg soft-roader has nothing going for it. Hacking off the roof could only help. Additionally, as an American loving American, I proudly stand behind all 4-door convertibles. No other cars so perfectly capture our fading but still proud space race zeitgeist. And since the domestics aren't building one, go Nissan! Finally, one of my least favorite rental cars — the PT Cruiser — is improved by at least 500% once the top comes off. You?
My lady and I cruised down to San Diego on Friday for a wedding. When we got to Orange County, we were suddenly in Corvette Country. I mean like serious Corvette Country. The highlight (of course) was the cherry red split window coupe. But we also saw C3s, C4s an overload of C5s and lots of C6s. While I was explaining the difference between the LS1, LS2, LS3 and LS7 mills, my girlfriend (between yawns) asked, "Why do all the drivers look exactly alike?" And… she was right. All of them were wearing open-collared shirts and dark aviators. I explained to her the rivalry between the 911 and the Corvette, and while the butt-engined Porsches are technically more expensive, Porsche guys get around that by dismissing the new models as having lost the plot and only buying used. Until the new ones come down in price and they can then afford them. Los Angeles, where we live, is Porsche 911 Sudetenland. Yeah, we got Boxsters, but Boxster owners aren't Porsche guys. Boxster volks just like driving (or being seen), but 911 guys are a different animal entirely. And they all dress exactly alike, as if any minute they might be forced to show up on a red carpet and pound red bulls till 4:00 am. Porsche guys of course despise Corvette guys, and vice versa. The funny part is that each thinks their particular mode of transport is the very, very best in existence. I find them all tedious and prefer spending my time in the company of Viper or Se7en owners. You?
Recent Comments