Twenty-eight massive serpents were found in an open pit coal mine in Colombia, by a team led by Jason Head of the University of Toronto at Mississauga. Luckily for the researchers (unluckily for the producers of Jackass), the snakes had been dead for nearly 60 million years. Titanoboa cerrejonensis, could have swallowed my old gen-1 Saturn or a Mazda Miata. Snakes can devour beasts that are roughly as massive as they are, and the 42-45 foot long snake weighed around 2,500 lb. fully grown, roughly equal to the aforementioned machines. Or 500 lb. more than a Lotus Elise. At almost five times the weight of the green anaconda, the world’s heaviest living snake, Titanoboa’s diameter would have been greater than the height of said Elise.

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There’s little debate that the Corvette is one of the things GM does do right. As in really right. But does this mean that the program deserves the resources for new concepts like this Stingray? Or does it mean that the money would be better spent working on mass-market offerings, where the track record is not so good? It’s your money (if you pay taxes); you decide!

We all knew it would happen. The Lutz does not die with a whimper. In a farewell interview, GM’s lame duck car czar gave The New York Times‘ Bill Vlasic the most maximum farewell quotes yet. “We are a country that hates its own industry,” roars Lutz in our general direction. What’s that again, Bob? “The auto industry may be partly at fault for its situation, but not entirely.” Oh. Good. How’s the retirement plan? But Maximum Bob did a maximum job. Given what Curly might call the coicumstances. “If this is just the beginning of a very catastrophic economic situation, then all bets are off for everybody, and that includes our most esteemed Japanese competitors,” quips Lutz. Yes, if. On the other hand, if things do get worse, it won’t be the esteemed Japanese competition that will be elbowing GM in the stimulus line. Or out of the stimulus line. Hint hint. But don’t worry. Everything is going to be just maximum. Specifically, Lutz is “convinced that when everyone is staring at the reality of the situation, and also staring at the alternative, that they will make the right decisions.” Yes, but how long do they have to stare?

For the eighth year in a row, the MVP of the Super Bowl has received a free Cadillac of their choice. This year, Pittsburgh Wideout Santonio Holmes picked out Caddy’s priciest SUV, an $85k Escalade Hybrid Platinum. But instead of presenting the ‘llac at an on-field postgame ceremony, the terms of Cadillac’s sponsorship were fulfilled behind closed doors. Why? “Given the current business environment, it was much more appropriate we not do that,” Caddy spokeswoman Joanne Krell tells the New York Daily News. “We made the decision not to actively participate in the Super Bowl. We congratulate the MVP, it is a great achievement. We are very sensitive to the federal assistance loan we have received and we want to carry on our fiduciary responsibility. The Super Bowl was not a place for us to be this year. That is not to say it’s not a great platform.” But GM still gave a man who makes over $2m per year an $85k vehicle after having received $7.4b in government bailouts. From a PR perspective that’s not great, and from Deadspin on down, people are taking notice. And based on the fact that Caddy defends the decision on the basis of the bailout being a loan that will be repaid, it’s obvious that they realize how bad this looks.

But wait, I thought Fusion Hybrid buyers cross-shopped Camry Hybrid, not Prius. No? Oh well, even free PR has its price.