Unique visitors. I just love that term. It's not quite as Walt Disney World politically correct creepy as "special"– all visitors to Mickey's Kingdom are special Johnny– but it's close. People love to think they're "unique"– when in fact our species' very survival depends on astounding similarities of thought, emotion and behavior. And yet teachers, 'caregivers" and other members of the Western cult of human uniqueness drill the idea into us by from the time we discover we can't do stuff that other people can. While geneticists can confirm the fact of this assertion, they'll also tell you we're all just a few chromosomes away from getting our heads blown off by a Rwandan hunter looking for a nice big gorilla hand to make into a Chinese ashtray. And I saw an episode of Mega-Ultra-Wikkid-Big Disasters (yes that again) which said an asteroid-induced mega-tsunami reduced the human population to a hundred guys living in a tenement in the Upper East Side about 80k years ago. Or was it Africa half a million years ago? Probably Africa. Anyway, TTAC is up to 465,559 unique visitors (that's you!) per month, racking-up 1,368,121 page views. Apparently that's not good enough for the Detroit Auto Show organizers, who've either never heard of us, or, more likely, have (if you know what I mean). Our request for press credentials has been turned down. No reason given. We're reapplying, hoping that The Detroit Auto Dealers Association reconsiders and extends us the warm hand of friendship, once we re-introduce ourselves. Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name. 

Sometimes my fascination for all things automotive scares me. What if Yellowstone blows up and plunges the world into a new Ice Age– mit famine? The arcane automotive knowledge lodged in my brain won't do me a damn bit of good in that situation, now will it? [Note to self: no more watching Mega Disasters on The History Channel, or, alternatively, must stock pantry and buy another shotgun.] Still, I could have become an ornithologist (the truth about the slender billed curlew) or numismatist (the truth about Tetradrachm). At least if worst comes to worst, I can amuse myself by identifying the rusting hulks populating the post-apocalyptic landscape. You know, if I'm alive. Anyway, an obscure press release hit the inbox this AM that pressed all the wrong buttons: Dupont's 55th international car color report. White/pearl dominates NAFTA-land and Japan, silver rules Brazil, South Korea and China and Europe always looks slim in basic black. What does this tell you? Only that OCD pistonheadedness is a communicable disease. Pass it on. 

In its unstoppable quest for pistonhead patronage, TTAC is boldly going where all our competition has gone before: the North American International Auto Show (a.k.a. The Detroit Auto Show). And when I say TTAC, I don't mean me. I need to hold down the fort here in my garret, editing the info as it flies off the show floor. And I don't mean Justin. Our diurnal podcaster will be in the Middle East, for reasons that I've forgotten but probably having something to do with a falafal and a Sabra (and I don't mean the defunct Israeli carmaker whose product is pictured here). I'm sending my four best operatives– writers being the operative word. Frank Williams, Sajeev Mehta, William C. Monthgomery and Adrian Imonti will be asking the tough questions that those pantywaist professional journos always seems to forget after they've been stuffed like a fatted French duck bound for a foie gras factory. I sincerely hope we'll be able to inject a measure of animus into the annual automotive lovefest. If not, it won't be for lack of trying. If you could give your pistonhead pals a heads-up as and when, we'd all be most appreciative. And a special shout-out to Sajeev's travel agent Mum for booking the tickets. We'll do our best to make you proud Mrs. M, guaranteed.  

“Roger Smith led GM during a period of tremendous innovation in the industry. He was a leader who knew that we have to accept change, understand change and learn to make it work for us. Roger was truly a pioneer in the fast-moving global industry that we now take for granted.” You can't expect GM CEO Rick Wagoner to speak ill of the dead, but the truth is that Smith was an utter disaster for GM. In GM Death Watch 116, our own Eric Stephans wrote: "After a massive reorganization in 1984, Smith dismissed thousands of workers and began a buying spree of epic proportions. GM’s CEO spent an estimated $40b on a laundry list of fashionable solutions and distractions: NUMMI (New United Motor Manufacturing Inc.), EDS (Electronic Data Systems Corporation), Hughes Aircraft and more. GM’s culture ignored the benefits of these innovations. The Toyota-style production techniques learned at NUMMI and the union-friendly ideas implemented at Saturn’s Spring Hill plant never made it outside the factory gates. GM management remained impervious to EDS’ can-do culture. Saturn devolved into another badge-engineered GM platform brand." Today's GM owes Roger Smith a debt, but it's not one of gratitude. 

I can't get that friggin' song out of my head. Even my trusty pop hook removal methodology– humming Elvis' Rock A Hula Baby– won't exorcise the tune from my neurological pathways. I'm not sure what the Hell Electric Light Orchestra's hit has to do with driving an Accord, but whatever Honda paid for the rights, it was too little. If only they'd used the French chorus as well; a nation of American children would know what "accroches-toi a ton reve" means. Or not. I once met a beautiful young girl in Spain who could sing every single word of every single Yes song ever written with perfect inflection– without knowing what any of it meant. Come to think of it, I'm still trying to figure out how you send an instant karma to someone. Anyway, do people really dream of owning an Accord? Someday Pearl, when my ship comes in, I'm gonna buy me one of them Honda Accords. Why not? Those of us in the biz tend to forget how loopy people get over cars. Oh sure, we pistonheads go all loopy over Skyline GT-Rs and Maserati Quattroportes  and suchlike. But if you've never seen someone ooh and ah over an automotive appliance, you really should. It teaches you the power of dreams. Oh, hang on. That's it, isn't it? Right. Gotcha.

The Association of British Drivers (ABD) is calling for the UK government to get their thumbs out and start building some more damn roads already, and bloody well do something to improve the safety of the ones they've already got [paraphrasing]. "Major roads like the A1 still have dangerous crossing points in the central reservation, instead of proper graded junctions. It is outrageous that people continue to be killed in these places because the British Government refuses to invest in decent roads." As I discussed with ABD's affable spokesman Paul Biggs, the government is being pulled in two directions. On one hand, environmental pressure groups are pushing The Powers That Ride in Limos to legislate against car use (or at least tax the Hell out of it). On the other, the pols need new roads to stimulate the economy (so they can collect more taxes). And the winner is… stasis. "The government have listened to frankly silly suggestions from the anti roads lobby that 'roads create traffic' which is considered a 'bad thing', and so improving the roads has become taboo. On the contrary, removing roadspace and obstructing the roads is supposed to make traffic magically disappear, with no ill effects on people's lives." Supposed?

North Dakota has a population of 640,000. It also has the largest state-owned sheep research center in the United States. What it doesn't have, however, is easy access to a number of car brands. North Dakota, you see, is the only state in which Kia doesn't have a single dealership. North Dakota is also missing Lexus, Infiniti, Acura, BMW, Isuzu (no love lost over that, either), Volvo, Saab, Jaguar, or Hummer. We often call dealerships out on the carpet for tactics that interfere with sales, but not being there altogether is a step beyond. Naturally there is a reason why a number of luxury import brands don't have a presence in an agricultural state with a relatively tiny population. For those who are in the market for such vehicles, they're in some luck: the largest city in the Peace Garden State is Fargo, which sits right on the Minnesota border (where you can get your hands on *anything*). But hey, it means there are plenty of opportunities for you to get rich by owning your own car dealership. Where else could a BMW dealership claim an entire state as its sales territory?

The Detroit News reports that the House and Senate are close to cutting a deal on the bill that will determine what kind of cars automakers will be building for the next 15 years or so. Apparently, everybody's cool with a 35mpg Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) standard and all the little details, like keeping separate standards for cars and "light trucks." Which is just as well, as House Speaker Nancy Pelosi wants the whole thing done and dusted by next Wednesday, when members burn some jet fuel to attend the United Nations Climate Change shindig in Bali. The DTN identifies the final hurdle: ethanol mileage credits. That's the creative caveat that allows manufacturers to claim higher mileage for E85 compatible vehicles– even though a tiny fraction ever fill-up with the stuff. "Automakers contend the credits are necessary to spur increased availability of ethanol that will help reduce the country's reliance on foreign oil," the DTN dutifully reports. No word on whether the Porsche loophole– giving carmakers selling less than 60k vehicles stateside a pass on CAFE regs– remains intact. 

[Interview with the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers' Charles Territo below.]

I am not one to hang about whilst driving. Oh, I know how to cruise. And I know when cruising's the better part of valor. But there are times when I don't spare the horses. And sometimes, when I'm going Hell for leather, I get my clock cleaned. I remember driving a 911 on the autobahn at something like 170mph, hearing a far away fog horn sort of noise, looking into my rear view mirror and seeing a Mercedes S-Class about five inches off my rear bumper. On another occasion, I was piloting a Volkswagen Phaeton W12 on that very same stretch of de-restricted highway, looked back and saw a BMW M5 closing on my tailpipes like a heat-seeking missile. Less heroically, I was driving over the Braga Bridge the other day when a guy in a beat-up Buick Regal blew the doors off my Boxster S. He was ducking and diving and bobbing and weaving, cutting through the traffic like they were nothing more than pixalated patsies. Forget the Merc and the Bimmer; that's point and shoot material. The Regal driver was the one who earned my admiration. To drive a crap car like that at that speed requires tremendous skill, total commitment and boundless stupidity. How did he manage to live long enough to figure out he could do it? Anyway, most don't. Which may be all that tomorrow's Chinese drivers have in their favor.  

How did Stevie Wonder go from "You Haven't Done Nothin'" to "I Just Called to Say I Love You?" The easy answer is money (they don't call it "selling out" for nothing). But I wonder. I wonder if Wonder woke-up one day and found the anger that informed his masterful mid-career music had disappeared. The birth of his first daughter– immortalized in the song "Isn't she lovely?"– signaled the empty-calorie crooning to follow. Maybe he just mellowed-out. But I can't help but, uh, cogitate what kind of music Wonder might have unleashed upon the world if he'd kept his edge. Of course, that sort of whatifitude can really bum a guy out. How many of the heroes of our youth descended into mediocrity? How many ended-up lost in a drug-addled haze? How many stayed on stage too long, making the faithful wince at their lost powers? Anyway, it seems TTAC is gaining a bit of financial traction; that's an honest-to-God Ford ad on the home page. I just want to mark the occasion by assuring you that success won't change TTAC. As long as I'm at the helm, we'll keep living just enough, just enough for the city. 

I don't normally read Car and Drivers' letters to the editor section. But the sub-head over a readers' missive caught my eye: "Is our BMW Bias Showing?" I'd just finished editing a comment accusing Justin of anti-BMW bias in his Infiniti G37 review. As a matter of policy, I delete any and all accusations of brand bias against TTAC from our comments' section. Although I recognize the importance of this issue (which a new writer will address in an editorial on Monday), these comments inevitably lead to rancor and flames. I always email the offender and invite them to discuss the issue via private email. In this regard, Car and Driver enjoys the luxury of both quarantine and unnatural selection; they publish what they like, edit it as they please and respond at will, without any chance of reprisal. So anyway, subscriber Dave Kress makes his case and asks "Were you guys born BMW biased or do you work at it?" Instead of denying the charge, it's "We work hard at it– Ed." Jim Lucas then chastises Car and Driver for not highlighting the new M3's high price. "Our job is to tell you how the car performs. Your job is to figure out what you can afford– Ed." Greg Williams upbraids C&D for inconsistencies in the mag's M3 stats. "Sounds like we've stumbled ino the Nerd City Internet Chat Room." And there I was thinking (some? most?) car dealers are the only auto biz folk who still treat their customers like shit. 

Honda is about to offer the hydrogen-powered FCX Clarity to "customers" on a limited long-term lease basis. For 600 bucks a month, a handful of lucky leaseholders will get to boast that their car is cleaner than Mitt Romney's closet, and fill-up… at home. According to American Honda chief executive Tetsuo Iwamura, the Clarity is a "shining symbol of the progress we've made with fuel cell vehicles and of our belief in the promise of this technology." Belief in a promise. Gotcha. Just in case you didn't quite catch the fact that Mr. Iwamura is standing in a wiggle room, AFP found an expert to throw a little cold water on Ye Olde hydrogen economy. Texan Timothy Wilkins, an attorney for the firm Bracewell & Giuliani (yes, THAT Giuliani), warns that "producing hydrogen like the gasoline scale, to fully integrated in the vehicle fleet and [provide] the infrastructure for fueling stations will take one century." As Napoleon told his generals when they informed him that growing trees along French roads to shade his troops would take 100 years, "Better get on with it then, mate." Luckily, we don't have to wait that long for a test drive report on the Clarity. Once and future TTAC'er Jonny Leiberman reports to us via podcast below.

Ted Turner used to have a sign on his desk: "Lead, Follow or Try to Snort as much Cocaine As I do." No wait. "Lead, Follow or Get Out of the Way." Americans tend to view the statement as Ted did: vindication for centralized power. In other words, I'm the leader. Follow me or **** off. While the three-role rule applies to all human interactions, it doesn't say you should pick one and stick with it forever. There are times when it's best to lead, times when you're better off implementing a leader's vision, and times when the further you remove yourself from the leader and his followers, the better (just ask Congressman Leo Ryan's family). Clearly, GM Car Czar Bob Lutz swings wildly between leader and disparu. While the media loves Bob the leader and completely misses disinterested Bob (the man who can't be bothered to listen when "his people" pepper him with "details"), it is Lutz' abject inability to follow that defines both the man and his– I mean "the" company. But it's not really his fault. GM CEO Rick Wagoner is not a leader, so who could he follow? The fact that GM's former CFO (Wagoner) lets Lutz run riot/rampant tells you that Wagoner is either seriously deluded about Lutz' abilities, or gets out of his way because, well, what do I know? When GM's epitaph is finally written, Wagoner will be seen as a slave to the diseased corporate culture that created him. And Lutz will be seen as figure of pathos; GM's very own King Lear.

I remember when Mercedes, BMW and Volkswagen were all subsets of a larger brand: "German car." Although Mercedes best exemplified what is now called the moniker's "mindspace," all three German manufacturers were known for selling better-built cars than American machines. And don't tell me they weren't. Read Arthur Haley's seminal work "Wheels" and you'll appreciate Detroit's horrifically lackadaisacal attitude to product quality during the 60's and 70's. Suffice it to say, the exploding Ford Pinto was neither a surprise nor an aberration. When VW went native, becoming the first foreign manufacturer to plant its factory flag on American soil, the results were, initially, disastrous. Fortunately for VW, the brand's German car rep was so strong the company survived its own inability to build quality products on U.S. soil. And then Mexico. And Brazil. These days, everyone builds cars everywhere. Although globalisation has forced Americans to build better cars, I reckon it's removed something important from the car branding equation. Can Alabama or South Africa build a world-class automobile? Of course. Is the result something less than a "real" Mercedes? At the risk of pissing off the entire planet, I'd say yes. I can tell the difference. In the same sense, I can tell a "real" Cadillac from a Sigma-platformed, Nürburgring-fettled, European sports sedan wannabe. Is the difference all in my head? Of course. Where else would it be?  

My wife's South African. She knows a thing or two about bigotry. I'm not speaking about her up-close-and-personal experiences under The Republic's heinous system of apartheid. I'm talking about Sam's post-immigration experiences. As a white South African, she knows what it's like to have someone judge you before you open your mouth. For years, strangers would confront her about the evils of apartheid, as if Sam had a direct hand in its implementation. This, even though she left South Africa before she reached voting age. And, more to the point, the fact that Sam was born into a culture she did not create. Anyway, when we moved to America, Sam worried about how our friends and neighbors would treat her. She remembered America's economic sanctions against her country, and heard the harsh and unified rhetoric aimed at the ruling regime. And yet… there's never been a problem. Not one. She's been treated with nothing but kindness. Now you could say Sam's welcome is the result of a combination of political ADD and ignorance. Or you could say it's because Americans are, by and large, a tolerant and open-minded people. So when I hear that Detroit's woes are due to "import bigotry," I just have to laugh. When Japanese cars were still considered crap, Lexus was given a chance to prove itself. Why wouldn't Detroit be afforded the same opportunity? All they have to do is… build cars people want and sell them honestly. As Sam says, you gotta walk the talk before you can expect anyone to listen.