Even before I pronounced Ford’s “new” Focus a one-star car, FoMoCo PR had suggested a little tete-a-TTAC with one of their quality guys. Well fair enough. This website is always open to opposing or explanatory viewpoints– especially from the people who make the whips that fill our editorial crosshairs. And so it came to pass that Ford’s Manager of Global Quality Data Systems and I spent a little quality time talking about quality issues. As you might guess from his title, Mike Hardie is a combination data cruncher and messenger, rather than Ass Kicker General. But his dedication to his job is beyond reproach– even if some of the products under his purview aren’t. Part One below, with a special guest appearance by Anne Marie Gattari, Communications Manager for Manufacturing and quality.

Yes, I've driven the "new" Ford Focus. And yes, it blows. I'm working on the review now, trying to summarize the vehicle's ghastly gestalt without resorting to scatological metaphors. But as bad as the Focus is, the fact that it exists is even worse. For the sake of argument, let's [safely] assume that the "new" Focus predates the tenure of FoMoCo's $25m man, CEO Alan Mulally. Let's also [hopefully] assume that both Big Al and his minions know the Focus is a dog, or what comes out of a dog 20 minutes after its gorged on Sam's Club's cheapest pet food. (Damn!) So why didn't Ford's top suit say STOP! We cannot claim to be a reinvigorated, reborn, chastened automaker and unleash this pistonhead pellet (oops!) on consumers in the world's most competitive automotive marketplace. Even if we take a billion dollar hit, we have to stop this train before it goes off the tracks. THIS is where we draw a line in our history between THEN and NOW. When we tell the world who we are going to be– not who we were. OK, granted, that kind of statement makes more sense when you have the new (as in new) Taurus under a sheet. But hey, sometimes you've got to work with what you don't have. Ain't that The Truth.

It's true: TTAC panders to PR-meisters who use surveys to hook hacks into stories with only a peripheral link to the companies that sponsor them. And more than a few of these polls are about as scientific as astrology. Still, sometimes we can't help but share the bizarre-o info that nine out of ten spin doctors prescribe for their clients who chew gum. In this case, leasetrader.com— the e-Yenta of the leasing biz– claims they surveyed 2000 female customers/potential customers to discover that fold down rear seats are their most fave feature, car-wise. Then it's Bluetooth capability, MP3/iPod connectivity, automatic open/close hatchback and GPS technology. In an interview with TTAC (below), leasetrader.com's Vice President of Marketing Communications insists that women are crying out for somewhere to put their damn handbag (paraphrasing) and can't see the point of a sunroof (so to speak). In case you're wondering what this all means, John Sternal kinda promises he might poll men on the same topic eventually, although he reckons men's magazines auto coverage proves we're performance-minded oafs pistonheads. Ya think?

So here I am, on the phone to a car dealer to hook-up a test drive in the "new" Ford Focus. As I type, I'm on hold, listening to an ad for Stop and Shop. While I'm sure the message is part of a radio station plug-in, why the Hell should I call a car dealer to be sold groceries? Anyway, Dennis comes on the line forty-nine seconds later to tell me that they've got one, and it's on the showroom floor. Great! I'll come down for a test drive. When are you interested in buying the car? I resist the urge to blurt out "when my penis exceeds 12 inches." Before I can say "soon" he goes off on a rant on how some people want to test drive cars that they're only interested in buying six months hence, and how his manager is not enamored with test drives related to purchases within this time frame. Five minutes later, I get a return call. We're good to go. Do you have a vehicle to trade-in? And that's it, save a sudden desire to take a shower. Still. this process keeps us in touch with what you go through, and I gotta say, it ain't pretty. As Ford doesn't have a whole lot of exciting cars in the showroom or pipeline, perhaps they ought to use this interregnum to sort some things out at the sharp end.

There are plenty of auto industry execs who see car enthusiasts a bunch of Buddy Pines. I'm talking about the sycophantic fan in The Incredibles: a boy whose ambition to be Mr. Incredible's sidekick foundered on his abject lack of superpowers. In fact, Buddy Pine's pathetic devotion put Mr. Incredible in harm's way, and, eventually, turned Pine from a fan into Mr. Incredible's murderous stalker. The truth about car fans is far better represented by a cartoon panel that shows a King looking down on his troops as they head into battle. A man stands next to him holding a machine gun. "I don't have time for salesmen now!" the King shouts. I was reminded of the image when I discovered that Jaguar is finally consigning the X-Type to the scrap heap of history. Enthusiasts had been warning Ford that they were killing Jag from Day One, when it was clear FoMoCo knew about as much about careful parenting as Cronos. The X-Type turned out to be the British brand's ultimate indignity– and that's saying something. If Ford and Jag had listened to Jaguar's most passionate if amateur guardians they could have, well, it breaks your heart to see the XK120 and E-Type's descendants descend into the abyss. Keep this in mind when you comment here and elsewhere, and rest assured that there will come a day when car companies realize they have to let us inside the factory gates. For their own good. 

I remember the afternoon Nancy Reagan sashayed into CNN for an in-studio interview. I was tethered to camera two, panning its unblinking eye left and right six inches– as I had done for eight hours a day for the previous year-and-a-half. To say I was numb with boredom and seething with resentment is like suggesting that Osama Bin Laden would be persona non grata at a U.S. Marines' barracks. Of course, this was a kindler gentler time, when the CIA was busy training Osama and his cronies to terrorise the Russians in Afghanistan. Anyway, Nance was deeply involved in her "Just Say No" anti-drugs campaign. Her interviewers: Don Farmer and Chris Curl (whose long-suffering though minion-squashing producer Katie Couric dreamed of better days). At some point, Don asked The First Lady "So how did your children avoid taking drugs?" I nearly snorked. The previous winter, I'd had the good fortune to ski with Ron Jr. in Aspen Colorado. On the lift up Ajax, Ron and I had partaken of a particularly fine bud of Maui Wowee nestled in the bowl of my erotically shaped meerschaum pipe. I don't remember what Nancy said, or how in the world I kept my mouth shut (a skill that remains undeveloped some twenty-plus years later), but I do remember thinking that truth is the first casualty of minimum wage Hell. (Or something like that.) As TTAC heads towards adding video, you can rest assured that we will continue to pull no punches– and leave those buds unsmoked.

I'm somewhat proud that the first Survivor winner was a fellow Rhode Islander. As is the case with many successful Ocean State natives (e.g. former Providence Mayor and current radio talk show host Vincent "Buddy" Cianci), Mr. Hatch's brilliant career has been temporarily interrupted by criminal proceedings; he's spending a little quality time in federal prison on a tax evasion conviction. Even so, Hatch's success on the CBS' prototype reality game show (talk about an oxymoronic expression) contained an important lesson for students of corporate gamesmanship. As Richard stated during his post-game interviews, "I was the only person actually playing the game. Everyone else was so wrapped-up in themselves they forgot why they were there." Hatch's wisdom returned to me when I was trying to understand why both Nardelli at Chrysler and Mulally at Ford are setting about fixing their employers' broken business at a pace that makes a snail's progress seem supersonic. I reckon the two "outsiders" have fallen victim to the same Imperial fug that's enveloped GM's Wagoner– and every Detroit auto industry CEO for the last fifty plus years. Yes, they're all there, talking the talk. But when you look at their product plans, marketing, dealer relations and, especially, union relations, it's clear someone's still throwing rose petals in their path. What these guys need is a REAL kick in the ass. Chapter 11 ought to do it.

The Evening Leader (Wrexham, Wales, UK) reports that a road safety-oriented theatrical production called "Wasted" has kids swearing off cars. After watching the multi-media production designed to warn children about the dangers of drug driving at the Ysgol Clywedog school, "One pupil was heard to say 'I'm not getting into anybody's car again', a statement many others echoed." In a telephone interview with TTAC [below], the head of the Walking Forward Theater Company, says the play's message is not anti-car or anti-drugs. "We're trying to get people to use cars in a responsible way," asserts Gavin Payne. "and indeed, if they have to use drugs, [to] use drugs in a responsible way and not mix the two." Payne's Walking Forward theater company claims to have exposed millions of UK theater goers to road safety dramas, including thousands of British soldiers, and welcomes any U.S. or Canadian campaigners interested in setting-up a similar program across the pond. 

I was hanging-out with Dad yesterday, waiting for Mom to come out of [minor] surgery. When he mistook a passerby's ringing cell for his own, I said it's hard to imagine that he grew up in a time when no one had a phone. (The device had been invented; it just wasn't available to the average Hungarian.) For my generation, being born pre-Internet renders us digital dinosaurs. Well fair enough. How did we grow-up without it? Truth to tell, I'm jealous of today's youth, who don't have to rely on Car & Driver, the library and their local mechanic/nut/dealer to satisfy their curiosity about all things automotive. In some sense, I run this site for that young kid I once was, desperate to learn at the feet of as many masters as possible. To probe their experience, wit and wisdom. To know more. So I'd like to take time out to thank all of TTAC's contributors and commentators and all three listeners for joining me in this endless quest for insight. If you could spread the word, emailing a link to anyone who might benefit from our intellectual inquiries, I'd be much obliged. If not, same thing. 

How the Hell do you calculate the official Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) mileage figures for plug-in or serial hybrids, vehicles that can/will operate in electric-only, charge-sustaining, gas-only and/or blended modes? In a phone interview with TTAC [below], EPA Senior Project Engineer Carl Paulina reveals that the Feds have been working on the problem with the Society of Automotive Engineers (SAE) for the last year-and-a-half. And… they're still working on it. In fact, Paulina reckons it'll be another year, easy, before the SAE committee figures out how to modify SAE standard J1711 to deal with the new technology (the equivalent fuel cell committee met for five years). Meanwhile, I asked Paulina how the EPA measures current [parallel] hybrid MPG stats. The result is a rivet counter's wet dream. Bottom line: your mileage may vary. 

This morning, Frank Williams blogged the AP's report on OnStar's new "Stolen Vehicle Slowdown" (SVS) option. Tick the appropriate box on your OnStar service agreement and the company can legally shut down your engine via remote– should a scrote steal your car. Big Borther issue aside, fair enough. And then I saw the Detroit Free Press' take: "New GM system should curb police chase deaths and injuries." According to the Freep, "With more than 30,000 police chases each year resulting in 300 fatalities and about 7,500 injuries, this unique use of the OnStar technology is being hailed by a wide variety of law enforcement and emergency response organizations." Needless to say, this "wide variety" was represented by a single law enforcement officer. "Once it becomes widespread, about 600 vehicles trying to elude police will be slowed by the system each year." Oh really? Talk about sloppy, doe-eyed, parrot-beaked journalism. The truth is that stolen vehicle chases account for a small percentage of police chases, police cause the majority of police chase deaths, and that the only way to curtail the carnage is to change police chase policy– as many departments have done. Nice try OnsStar. Must try harder Freep.  

Although Justin wonders how the loss of "lifestyle" buyers may hurt pickup truck sales, I never held much truck with the idea that Urban Cowboy-ism accounted for the lion's share of the market. Maybe that's because I live in southern New England, where anyone who drives a pickup truck uses it to relieve lawn-crazed suburbanites and home makeover addicts of their hard-earned money. The SUVOA defends our right to drive big honking SUV's on the grounds that their owners cherish their occasional "full" utilization (i.e. nipping out for a pint of milk during a blizzard). So it's entirely possible that there are parts of the country where people buy pickups just so's they kin move their lava lamp and mattress to and from college, or schlep a picnic table-sized TV home from their local big box store in time for the game. But I adhere to the theories of psychologist Jean Piaget, who said if you've got a capability, you bloody well use it. That's some scary ass shit when applied to nuclear weapons, but it puts a halo 'round the pickup's head. After all, if it wasn't so easy to haul stuff, people wouldn't buy so much stuff– and that's not good news for an economy based on unbridled consumerism (as opposed to?). Anyway, when pickups fall down, there's scary times ahead. Yes sir. Sure is.   

I don't pretend to understand all the ins and outs of Lithium-Ion battery technology. I know the basics: they're smaller than the nickel metal hydride cells (as used by the Prius' Synergy Drive), potentially more efficient, catch fire from time to time and, when they do, they're more difficult to put out than my schnauser in a snowstorm. Battery maker EnerDel (owned by Ener1) is set to unveil the fruits of their Li-Ion labors tomorrow. Company Vice Chairman says they've nailed it; their 60 engineers and technicians have developed a hugely efficient, cool-running Li-Ion battery for automotive applications. In a telephone interview with TTAC [below], Charles Gassenheimer revealed some of the technical specs, discussed the company's safety tests and pointed-out that their patented technology is not [yet] applicable to plug-in hybrids or electric vehicles. And what of Toyota's Li-Ion work with Panasonic? Ironically enough, Gassenheimer says his competitor's efforts were recently dealt a blow by… a fire in their factory. [NB: EnerDel officials will be monitoring comments to answer your questions.]

Prior to the late 80's, Mercedes were known for its "bullet proof" build quality. Of course, they were no such thing. A well-placed slug would stop a Mercedes just as quickly as a Ford Pinto (although the Pinto might cease its forward motion in a far more spectacular fashion). Actual bullet-proof cars began appearing in the US about the same time Al Capone figured it best not to stain his Cadillac 16's upholstery with the contents of his skull. Initially, bullet-proof cars were fairly basic: a normal car with thick metal plates welded onto the chassis. As bad as this was aesthetically, it was worse for handling– which presented a whole 'nother set of lethal possibilities. Eventually, metalworkers fashioned more elegant solutions; you can now buy an up-armored luxobarge or SUV that looks like a normal luxobarge or SUV. Saying that, human nature being what it is, plenty of buyers still make the mistake of assuming that the ability to withstand ballistic or explosive attack is more important than day-to-day safety, or the ability to escape and evade. Modern automakers would do well to learn this lesson: people want what they want, not what they need– even when it's a matter of life or death. And what I need is a couple of days to rest and recharge. See you on the other side.

I like vanilla ice cream. I know: as a guy who chooses "media" from the drop-down menu of professions, I should be into something exotic like swordfish pecan or Quaaludes and cream. But vanilla has a Zen purity that appeals to my inner minimalist (which I can't find from time to time 'cause he's so damn small). In the same way you can discern an ice cream maker's skills by sampling his or her vanilla, you can tell an automaker's prowess by assessing the quality of their plain Jane models. That's one reason TTAC is proud to review cars at the lower trim levels. It also explains my satisfaction upon hearing that Justin's sending me his MINI Cooper [non S] review. And one of the unremarked but remarkable reasons for Toyota's success: the low end models don't make you yearn for the higher end stuff. Contrast this with Detroit, where "strippers" often seem carefully designed to make you spend more money on something significantly better. Which works fine IF you take the financial plunge. I mean, I can imagine there will be a lot of pistonheads sitting in a V6 Pontiac G8 spending every moment of the journey wanting the V8. If that's NOT true, then I'll take it as a sign of genuine progress.