I've driven a lot of new Mustangs. Specifically, the V6 Convertible, GT, GT Convertible, GT California Special, Hertz GT-H, Shelby GT and the Shelby GT500 (coupe and convertible). The only ones I've missed are the V6 hard top (I'll pass) and the Shelby GT500KR. After last week, I can check the 2008 Bullitt Mustang off my pony car to-do list. Limited to "just" 7700 examples, the Bullitt follows the path laid down by its cinematic inspiration: green paint, black wheels, limited badging and more power. As a veteran ‘Stang wrangler, let me tell you how the latest iteration stacks up against the other stallions…

July's Car and Driver pits a new Ford Mustang against a new Dodge Challenger and joyfully proclaims "it's 1970 again!" Wrong. It's 1973 again, the year of the Arab Oil Embargo. This time there's plenty of gas at the pumps, but its price has thrown the U.S. car market into the same chaos/doldrums that afflicted it the year FedEx was born. Back then, the Mustang's pony car competition rolled over and died. Today, the Mustang faces new challengers with a convertible that gets 17/26 mpg. How great is that?

When it comes to family-hauling vehicular solutions, we're at the end of the tunnel. In the face of $5 a gallon gas, SUV and minivan sales have vaporized. The mushroom cloud of market crash is overhead. One need only look at the discrepancy between SUV/CUV and small car sales to realize we're in the dystopic, post-apocalyptic era– as far as Detroit's concerned. While Ford rushes its Fiesta compact into production (hola!) and focuses on its existing passenger cars, they've come up with the Flex, a big ass people mover. Seven seats and xB style. How great is that?

The Ford Escape was the world's first hybrid SUV. Contrary to popular belief, The Blue Oval's gas – electric trucklette does NOT use Toyota's Synergy Drive. FoMoCo's hybrid cute ute shares some patents with ToMoCo, and that's it. And there's another idea floating around: Ford is artificially restricting supplies to limit their loss-per-vehicle. True dat. Until and unless Ford can find a way to reduce its costs, the automaker has capped production of "the most fuel-efficient SUV on Earth" at 25k special order units per year (so much for Bill Ford's 250k hybrid pledge). Tales of three month waits are not unknown. The question is, what, if anything, are we missing?

The full-size SUV, species Gigantus Utilitas Amnericanus, stands like a mighty and proud American Bison. The even-toed ungulate’s wet nose nervously sniffs the threatening winds of change that blows across the prairie and buffets its coarse brown mane. For now, the herd stands proud and strong in suburban habitats. But today the mighty beast catches the scent of three long rifle-wielding predators: Panic, Price and Patriotism. Squarely in their sights stands the Ford Expedition King Ranch Edition.

Special edition vehicles should be exactly that. They should offer something exceptional enough to tempt you to dig deeper in your pocket and drive away in a vehicle that's, well, special. “Investment” and historical issues aside, the Mustang Shelby GT didn’t provide a look and feel that justified the massive amount of extra coin demanded by dealers. By the same token, The Bullitt Mustang succeeds. It’s truly a unique set of wheels.

Ford’s marketers often appear to live in a sort of surrealist parallel universe. How else to explain their enlistment of Kermit, the self-effacing, hand-operated amphibian, to pitch the Ford Escape Hybrid? This SUV has the makings of a game-changing, ass-kicking product. It’s a genuine full hybrid, with components licensed from Toyota.  It’s sized, styled and priced to the mainstream’s liking. Yet, saleswise, the hybrid Escape is croaking. Methinks Ford’s spokesfrog hasn’t given the Escape Hybrid the marketing momentum it deserves.

Thanks to John Steinbeck and Nat King Cole, Route 66 is an American icon. But Highway 77 in South Texas gives "kicks" of the international kind. As this highway winds down Mexico way, we find neglected and discarded compact trucks in pairs, towing their belittled brothers to a new life south of the Border.  And while America's insatiable demand for new product continues apace, Highway 77 speaks to a silent majority who favors cheaper and smaller vehicles.  It's the spiritual home of the Ford Ranger.

Before emailing a rave review of the new Ford Mondeo, I wanted to understand why an automaker with such great products in the Eurozone has such a mediocre reputation. Posing as a potential purchaser, I phoned to make an appointment for a test drive. Employee of Dealership A: "We have one Mondeo you could try out, but we are booked for the next ten days, I think." Sales guy at Dealership B: "Sorry, I just started here six months ago, the guy in charge is on sick leave.” His stand-in? On vacation. “Please call again in a week or so.” See? It’s NOT all about the product. But I digress…

I suspect that a large number of readers are dismayed by America’s love for the full-size pickup truck. It may be an inconvenient truth about cars, but there are still plenty of working people who love the gas-guzzling genre with a passion undimmed by concerns about global warming and America’s [entirely theoretical] energy independence. Drilling down one of Houston’s warehouse districts, the Ford F150 XL MidBox got more thumbs-up than a popular gladiator bleeding on the Coliseum floor. Admit it: other than all that PC stuff, what’s not to like about a workhorse with steel wheels and rubber floors?

Ford likes SUVs so much that they build five platforms for ‘em, many of which fight amongst themselves for sales in overlapping segments. Yet the most competitive, the most relevant of Ford’s sport-utilities is also the one no one— not even Ford marketing— seems to know exists: the Taurus X, née Freestyle. Question: if a terrific CUV falls in the sales charts and nobody in Dearborn notices, does it exist? 

As automakers continue their relentless pursuit of refinement, there’s precious little “magic” to be had behind the wheel of a new car. Sit down, and you instantly know where everything is and how to operate it. Start it up and drive and few sensations are overly vivid. In short, most new cars are about as surprising as a toaster. Ford’s Mustang Shelby GT is the un-toaster. I recently braved the perils of California’s Mojave Desert (e.g. bad road food) to sample the Shelby at the Willow Springs Raceway. The experience was not bland. On the contrary, it was, erm… memorable.

Pop the hood of the new Ford Focus and you'll see an infestation of duct tape worms. Every wire is wrapped in black duct tape. And the thing is, Ford didn't even try to hide it. There's no flash-casted plastic cover to hide the Focus' handmade electrical insulation. I mean, how much would that have cost FoMoCo? Five bucks? What's more, the duct tape I discovered in the economy car's engine bay was already unfurling. That's worrying. But it's nowhere near as disquieting as the overarching Scrooge You cynicism informing every nut, bolt and rock hard panel of this po-faced makeover. What’s worse, the new Ford Focus looks atrocious.

Ford is hawking their “new” Taurus (née Five Hundred) as America's safest full-size sedan. This tells us two things. First, the Ford division famous for producing the world’s safest cars (Volvo) is as good as gone. Second, The Blue Oval Boyz replaced their alleged allegiance to Bold Moves with a profound proclamation of Risk Aversion. Whether or not either decision is correct is a moot point; FoMoCo doesn't have the time nor the money to not to sell Volvo or develop edgy new automobiles. So is Ford’s safe car a safe bet? As the Afrikaners say, Ja nee.

If cars were ordered by the foot, then the Ford Crown Victoria is exactly what you’d get if you walked into a Ford dealer and said “I’d like 17.6 feet of car please.” Other than length, Ford’s fleet-duty work horse has absolutely no outstanding features what-so-ever and very few features worth mentioning. Still, the Crown Vic and its panther playmates (the Mercury Grand Marquis and Lincoln Town Car) are perennial favorites among fleet buyers and, uh, fleet buyers. In fact, in anticipation of its removal from the retail field of battle, the Ford website doesn’t even list the Crown Victoria under “passenger cars.” Should they?