The walrus is famous for being immense, powerful, and oddly lugubrious, and for having a mouth that looks like Wilford Brimley after nine hours of cunnilingus. Ditto the Lincoln.
Vanity Fair’s Brett Berk channels his inner Robert Farago and comes up with one of the more memorable metaphors we’ve heard in some time. Word to Berk: PR folk don’t tend to celebrate the metaphorical marriage of the ridiculous and the sublime as much as… well, everyone else. As we’ve learned the hard way here at TTAC, sexually-tinged metaphors can get you cut off fromthe press car gravy train faster than you can say “flying vagina.” On the other hand, devastatingly accurate metaphors delivered with little regard for their consequences have a way of endearing you to a the best kinds of readers. And that, after all, is what this whole auto writing this about. Consider us inspired!
Shanshan Du and Yu Qin of Troy, MI have been indicted on charges including conspiracy for allegedly stealing GM hybrid technology between 2003 and 2005. According to the Detroit News,
Du, who was hired at GM in 2000 and worked in the company’s Advance Technology Vehicle Group, copied thousands of pages of GM trade secrets onto a portable computer hard drive five days after accepting a buyout offer in 2005. The indictment alleges the theft of secrets dates back to 2003.
GM estimates the value of the stolen documents at $40 million, according to the U.S. Attorney’s Office.
The indictment charges that Du and Qin set up their own company in hopes of transferring technology to the Chinese automaker Chery, but that no technology ever made it to the Wuhu-based automaker. And though this is an obvious opportunity for a laugh at the expense of “Chinese R&D,” the real story here is just how stupid Du and Qin were for targeting The General’s hybrid technology between 2003 and 2005. (Read More…)
Like most modern corporations, car companies tend to be extremely opaque. Only rarely do non-insiders like us get a peek behind the PR curtains of a major automaker, and when we do, we have to wonder why we’re getting the show… and what are we looking at, anyway? Just such a moment has arrived, as a tipster has pointed us to coolsprings.com, where an interview with a Nissan consultant based at Nissan North America’s headquarters in Tennessee appears to be literally overflowing with the kinds of juicy scandals, corporate gossip, and inside baseball that we so rarely see in print. But can the self-described whistleblower Sharyn Bovat be trusted? Is Nissan-Renault’s upper management really locked in a global struggle for control of the company? Do Tennessee taxpayers really pay for Nissan executives’ spa treatments? Did Nissan really relocate a number of employees from California to Tennessee, only to try to fire them shortly thereafter? This is The Truth About Cars, so we’ll proceed with caution… but this story is just too juicy to ignore.
Press events are such highly-managed affairs, that it’s rare to see something go wrong at one. But that’s exactly what happened at this Volvo demonstration of a collision avoidance system onboard a new S60 sedan. And as much fun as it is to see a car that’s supposed to be (nearly) uncrashable getting crumpled up on a stationary object, perhaps the most delightfully schadenfreude-soaked moment in this video is watching Volvo’s hapless PR rep tap dancing in embarrassment while explaining that this was not, in fact, a proper demonstration of Volvo’s collision-avoidance system. Moments like these are rare… savor them.
Yes, really. The Bricklin: An Automotive Fantasy opens at the end of the month, in Fredricton, New Brunswick, not far from where the Bricklin SV-1 was built. And despite the fact that Bricklin’s SV-1 project left the citizens of New Brunswick with $23m in public debt when the fantasy fell apart, the locals aren’t looking back in anger. The Fredricton Playhouse’s executive director tells the NYT that
We’re going for a cabaret-meets-disco-meets-car-show vibe. It’s supposed to be fun. It’s a story about hopes and dreams
The moral of the story: Canadians are bad at holding grudges. Oh yes, and the auto industry will never tire of larger-than-life characters like Bricklin.
78 liters of displacement, 18 cylinders, 12 turbocharges and a tame 3,500 hp and 10,300 lb-ft of torque make for one mean Mini. Well, it would if it actually worked. Instead, this will probably just be on static display at this year’s Goodwood Festival of Speed. Fun fact: the engine alone weighs about 15 times what an original Mini did.
One has to be slightly off their rocker to make a LeMons racecar. But then again, you also have to possess self-awareness not seen in most other forms of motorsport. Simply put, this race series totally rocks. And without any further ado, here are the final five vehicles in TTAC’s Ten Coolest Engineering Feats of The 24 Hours of LeMons Dallas. (Read More…)
Hyundai’s been getting a bit of flack for a version of this advertisement, which some say makes a mockery of the Catholic faith. Frankly, we think the ad after the jump (which may or may not be real) is simultaneously more blasphemous and funnier. Do you agree?
[The top ad is not the most allegedly anti-Catholic version, apparently. We will post the more offensive version as soon as it shows up, naturally] (Read More…)
While LeMons’ Judges Jonny and Phil took a breather to get married (not to each other) I was one of four people with the honor of taking their place. It’s true, there was a quartet of judges needed to do what those two professionals do on a regular basis, no matter what previous accounts may suggest. So I inspected close to 100 crap cars to see if they meet LeMons’ $500 purchase price criteria. And while I did, I found the Ten Coolest Engineering Feats of The 24 Hours of LeMons. So let’s get right to it. (Read More…)
On the heels of a Ben Gurion University study showing that drivers under the influence of marijuana are less dangerous than drunk drivers, comes yet another study indicating that driving stoned might not be quite as bad as some think. Published in the Journal of Psychoactive Drugs, the Hartford Hospital/University of Iowa study titled “Sex differences in the effects of marijuana on simulated driving performance,” concludes that:
Under the influence of marijuana, participants decreased their speed and failed to show expected practice effects during a distracted drive. No differences were found during the baseline driving segment or collision avoidance scenarios. No differences attributable to sex were observed. This study enhances the current literature by identifying distracted driving and the integration of prior experience as particularly problematic under the influence of marijuana.
Why do drug smugglers use Chrysler’s patented Stow ‘N Go storage system to smuggle $100k worth of marijuana across the Mexican border? Because they can. Or, because Wieden + Kennedy have another Caravan ad to make. But this is hardly the most entertaining shot from the LA Times’ gallery of “Bizarre Border Busts” [Hat Tip: Richard Chen]. No, you’ll have to hit the jump for that one…
Now don’t get us wrong: we agree with the principle that there aren’t enough affordable options in the mid-engine sportscar segment. And we certainly admire Mr Chen Jinmiao’s attempt to build his own, despite his apparent lack of engineering education (“I downloaded the drawings from the internet, then bought the materials from the market”). But why, oh why, does the Daily Mail insist on framing the story in terms of Mr Chen’s lifelong love of Lamborghinis? Again, with all due respect to Mr Chen’s accomplishment, his “car” is to Lamborghini what this is to GMC.
World Cup Soccer: the hidden killer. German scientists dispatch their top men to understand exactly how wrong things can go when you celebrate a World Cup victory by piling drunk fans into a car and performing a low-speed victory parade. Of course, this simulation clearly needs some work. Among the obvious missing factors: a keg of beer in the back seat, three inches of oversteer-inducing vomit on the road, and a healthy serving of casual racism. Ah, football!
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