I know, I know; there's been a lot of Ford and GM bashing on this site as of late. All of it deserved. As long as car companies make crap cars– and that's ANY company making ANY crap car– The Truth About Cars is ready, willing and able to provide a no-holds-barred reality check. But here's the important bit: every TTAC writer would love to see the former Big Three produce the world's best automobiles. It literally pains us that they don't. If and when America reclaims its mojo and produces world-beating product, be it a Chevrolet Corvette or a Ford Freestyle, we will give its maker its due. To wit: Lieberman likes the Freestyle, Big Style. [His review goes up tomorrow.] It's both sad and symptomatic that Ford doesn't share JL's enthusiasm enough to dig down and make something more of a potentially great vehicle. By now, Toyota would've been busy on gen II. Will this misery never end? Oh, and if you could please suggest a photo caption in the comments, I'd be much obliged.
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not sure whether u r looking 4 something like this:
Af’Ford’able (import)Free Style
Yes, um, something like that– but not exactly that. Perhaps something that makes reference to what’s happening in the picture.
I haven’t heard of the “You’re a human being” discount before, good stuff.
A friend of mine has the previous generation of Sporttrac(spelling?). Oddly enough, he keeps backpacks and tents in it.
new automatic voice activated defect notification module – conveniently tell the dealer you’re coming in… “and this time just fix the #@%* thing!”
“Ford Freestyle: nothing says Bold like in-dash wormholes.”
From what I can make out, the pic shows the bluetooth enabled sound system…I always wonder what it costs…certainly more than a bluetooth headset….but if the difference is huge then y wud some1 pay 4 it? just buy a headset…works outside as well!
caption…hmmm tricky…cant think of anything TTACish ATM
I agree with both Bob and Jonny here about the Sport track and trucks in general. You really can’t buy a small truck anymore from anyone. The small trucks have become mid-sized, the mid-sized trucks have become full-sized, and the full sized trucks (like the Ford Extra Duty and the new Dodge Ram) have become vehicles so large that “…their very existence is an affront to God” (to quote Homer Simpson.) Even the Toyota Tacoma, supposedly mid-sized, has morphed into something close to the size of a mid-80’s F-150. What’s worse, it gets about the same MPG as an F-150, which pretty much eliminates one of the prime reasons to get a small truck.
And yes, somebody needs to steal the Avalanche’s disappearing midgate idea and put it in a compact vehicle. There are many people out here who would love a compact vehicle that could serve as both a car and a truck. I had hoped Subaru would do it with the Baja (like they did with the Baja’s inspiration, the STX, I think it was, that made the Auto show circuit circa 1999) but when it came time to execute, Subaru wimped out and put a silly little door there instead of a complete pass-through. Which probably explains why the Baja got the axe for 2007.
How about:
Wonder Woman loved her new invisible cell phone included with her new Ford.
or…
Chevrolet’s optional BadBreathinator lets you know when your mouth smells so bad even opposing traffic can see it. Only available in the Smellorific package which also includes the Fartastic intestinal gas meter and the Babyshitsometer.
The Nissan Frontier seems to be pretty decent.
aakash….
I have a built in bluetooth connection in a Toyota. I find it very convenient as there is no headset to worry about and the phone connects to the car automatically by bluetooth when you start up. The radio automatically mutes when a call comes in or you call out. The interface could be improved but I think it’s pretty good.
Her: I’ll be late
Him: Driving the Freestyle again?
Her, resigned: Yes.
Jonny:
Have you driven a Frontier yet? I’m curious about how they stack up against the Tacoma. I’m still pissed that they can’t seem to offer anything that will break 20mpg in the city, though. My 85 Toyota 4×4 pickup got around 22-23 in the city. Of course, it was regular cab, manual tranny, no AC – a real stripper. And, of course, they need to steal the mid-gate idea. A mid-gate and a TDi diesel would be an awesome combo, I think.
The alliterative naming convention was doomed from the start, as I don’t see the Mustang becoming the Fustang any time soon. Never fear though, as soon as Ford runs out of “F” words, they’ll probably join Lincoln, Caddy, and Acura on their new alphabet soup bandwagon. The problem with naming conventions is that no company has had the discipline to stick by it. Not even BMW (M coup??? shouldn’t that be an M4?), or Audi (RS8? So will that be the upcoming supercar, or a suped up S8?). Anyway… what was my point? Oh yeah, keep the names logical, and in character with the car. Freestyle is neither.
Photo caption: Nothing is more important to the average min-van driver
than talking, all the time, even if and when she has nothing to say – certainly nothing as plebian as driving her minivan in any way resembling a responsible human being. Look out kiddies, dogs and cats!
The closest thing I have seen to a small pick-up lately is the toyota Tacoma. The company I work for owns about 3 of them, and I had the pleasure of riding in one of them today. I am not sure what year it is, but it is a pretty small pick-up. I hate driving the darn things, the seat position makes me feel like I am sitting on the ground, and the 4 speed automatic sounds like a bunch of hamsters with bad teeth. I would take my old ’92 Ford ranger over that thing any day of the week.
(assuming using this vs. the handset reduces accident rate)
Caption: “Save your tooth: Use Bluetooth”
Extended version (Going a bit overboard here :P) :
Af’Ford’able (Hands)FreeStyle Bluetooth…Saves your teeth
(2 long I think)
knowing the literary skills of u guys, I m sure u will come up with something that sounds more TTACish :D
atleast I gave it a try :)
“Ford Frotus: now with hands-free SassBack system.”
“Open the driver side door, Hal.”
“I’m sorry Jane, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
“Bought some shrooms you just couldn’t wait to get home to try? The new Chevy Procto is equipped with six airbags, standard.”
“Repeat after me: I love my new Ford Freestyle”
“I love my new Ford Freestyle”
“I will tell all my friends”
“I will tell all my friends”
“There is no phantom mind control phone on my dash”
“There is no phantom mind control phone on my dash”
“Hello, customer support?”
“Sorry, this number is not in service.”
Generic female driver: “Oh. MyGAWD! My cellphone just ate everything in my command pillar! My satellite radio, climate control, and GPS navigation system are gone!”
Cellphone: “FeEEed MEe!”
*swerving/squealing tires noise*
*CRASH*
OnStar: “Welcome to OnStar, Ms. Smith. How may I assist you?”
Ms. Smith: “Yes. Could you please hook me up with the nearest available male prostitute?”
OnStar: “Certainly. It would be my pleasure, Ms. Smith!”
(You can’t make this stuff up. Taken from the “Having fun with the free OnStar subscription on the way home from the bar” file.)
“You’ll snore too, driving our product, we’ll give you a wakey wakey call”!!!
Every Ford Freestyle comes with concentric circles, and a ghost phone. Nothing says bold like a ghost phone, .
-Or-
Ford Freestyle: Frankly, you would rather be on the phone.
-Or-
Ford Freestyle: I got nothing… ummm… yeah.
Ford FreeStyle: It’s no Flying Vag.
BUWAAAHAHAHAAA!
Ronin317: You win.
Wife: ‘I’ve had enough, I’m leaving you and taking the Ford.’
Hubby: ‘Bye.’
The New Ford Dante SUV:
Its Updated Hellographic Navigation System (TM) displays your descent through the circles of Hell as you are forced for eternity* to drive a Ford and smell your own bad breath — even as the white-phone-to-Heaven floats tauntingly just out of reach and endlessly playing a loud Rapper ring tone.
* For Qualified Sinners
+1 BarryO.
Ford promised to put 250,000 hybrids on the road by 2010, and the critics said it couldn’t be done. Now, Ford is introducing the new Hybrid Climate Control System, which recycles the warm air from your breath to heat the passenger compartment of the 2007 Freestyle. You’ll love the savings in energy. Your passengers will appreciate the Spicy Bean Burrito you had for lunch.
"i'm still in love with my Pontiac Aztek…"
Even with their stock market ratings below junk status, auto makers continue to not get the message that most Americans want our vehicles to be more fuel efficient and our air to be cleaner to breath and to support life on the planet Earth… Ford (Billiam) recently indicated that Ford is swerving away from hibrids and focussing on flex-fuel vehicles… this may or may not be good, but unless vehicles are more efficiently made and more efficient to drive with cost-effective-beneficial perameters, Ford and other auto makers are running in low-gear reverse… it has been shown that existing on-the-shelf technologies, if more comprehensively used in conventional vehicles would increase fuel efficiency by as more or more than 25% without appreciable impacting preformance… yet the auto industry continues to ride the brakes on cleaner-air, more fuel efficienty vehicles… and as long as they do, their junk status stock ratings apparently will be their badge of honor…???
Progressive green and social activists: Urge the auto industry to make cleaner-air, more fuel efficient vehicles… and conserve…
Most automobiles are at least 25% less efficient then five to ten year old technologies should have given us if the auto industry had lived up to their claims of customer service… perhaps the good thing is that higher gas prices will result in less consumption… Unfortunately, less than cost-optimally efficient vehicles contribute disproportionally to environmental and public health and greenhouse gas problems…
Urge the auto industry to make cleaner air, more fuel efficient and safer vehicles: http://www.autobuyology.org/tellcarmakerstocleantheair.pdf
With the real cost of subsidized gasoline now well above $10 a gallon (http://www.icta.org/press/release.cfm?news_id=12), and with ‘average’ automobile ownership and operation costs over a lifetime now zoom-zooming past $500,000 (half a million dollars — you do the math), a few auto related conservation reminders may be helpful: Go carfree (see savings above); go carless; buy smaller, more fuel efficient vehicles and rent up or larger as needed; drive less; ride-share; trip-link or group errands; negotiate a fuel inefficiency retail price reduction for less than cost-optimally fuel-efficient vehicles; urge the auto industry to stop fighting conservative and reasonable fuel efficiency and green-house gas emission standards, and to adopt long-proven, cost-effective fuel efficiency tenchologies for new vehicles; get-SMART and support comprehensive public transportation and auto-alternative programs, for others, if not for oneself; And etc., add your energy conservation choices to this list. Keep it handy, and share it.
For those who cannot avoid buying an automobile, at least you don’t have to pay to much… a list of car deal resources to help level the car deal playing field to favor the consumers…
http://www.autobuyology.org/thankyouforteaching.pdf
Rand
Carlessnesshood 101
If there is one thing worse then having to buy an automobile, it’s paying to much for one… “1st & 2nd law of thermo-economical-dynamics”
http://www.autobuyology.org