To paraphrase an old expression, it stops being funny when it starts costing you billions. And make no mistake about it: Cerberus' investment in Chrysler has cost the private equity firm some serious scratch. Bloomberg reports that "The $7.5 billion Cerberus Institutional Partners Series Four [15-month-old fund] lost $32 million on $3.3 billion in investments through March 31… hurt by stakes in unprofitable companies including Chrysler LLC." That one percent drop might not seem like a lot of money in a shaky U.S. economy, but fans of Cerberus' top dog are used to returns in the neighborhood of 25 percent per year. Needless to say, Chrysler's been a bit of a drag for the three-headed dog, all things considered. "Founder Stephen Feinberg plowed as much $4 billion into automaker Chrysler and GMAC LLC, the former vehicle- and home- lending arm of General Motors Corp., before they were battered by the subprime-mortgage collapse and gas prices that rose 34 percent in the past year." Again, that's before the shit hit the fan. Bloomberg points out that Chrysler probably accounts for no more than five percent of Hell Dog's latest fund, and that the ailing American automaker is, supposedly, besting Cerberus' projections. Still, $375m here, $375m there…
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It’s easy to beat “projections” if you don’t publicly announce them – lesson learned from Wagoner.
Love that pic. It’d make a nice hood ornament on the Challenger.
I’m surprised that it’s taking Cerberus this long to take some specific and obvious action. It’s almost as if they care too much about what people think….ie, a fear that people might think that they’ve made a bad decision.
“D’oH!”
But the longer they wait, the worse people will think. Unless they think that people will conveniently “forget”. On second thought, that could very well happen in this Brangelina/Britney Spears ADD society.
ihatetrees Says:
Love that pic. It’d make a nice hood ornament on the Challenger.
Me too; That puppy would make a great pet for Hellboy! Or me. He could fetch me not only my morning IBD with one head, but also the delivery-person’s entire minivan with another, while the third howls a bloodcurdling wail at the neighbor kids before they throw their juice boxes and soda cans on my lawn!
Bloomberg points out that Chrysler probably accounts for no more than five percent of Hell Dog’s latest fund, and that the ailing American automaker is, supposedly, besting Cerberus’ projections.
How bad are those projections, that Chrysler could possibly be doing better than projected?
Everyone join in: Chapter 7 not 11, Chapter 7 not 11. Free the United States from Chryslers attempts at automobiles! Honda, Toyota, or Subaru please salvage Jeep and return them to the niche iconic off-roaders they were ment to be. Only this time make them reliable too.
Local Chrysler-Dodge-Jeep dealer has $37,000 MSRP Jeep Commander V6’s for $19,995.
Pretty well sums up the situation.