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For the past six years or so, I steered clear of SUVs. A car guy bought cars. End of story. And now, suddenly, I want one. Not a cute ute or anything as sensible as a Honda Pilot, mind you (I'd rather ride a Vespa). But an authentic, gas-guzzling off roader: a Land Rover Discovery or whatever the stupid alphanumeric is for it now [LR3]. Or a Jeep Wrangler. I'd even go supervulgar and ride around in a Mercedes G500. Or a Toyota Land Cruiser, FJ Cruiser or Nissan Xterra. If a stick shift is available, even better. Not that I'd actually take my SUV off road. I just like the image. Is that so horrible? Does it really make me a bad person? I certainly hope so.
35 Comments on “Daily Podcast: Stupid Useless Vanity...”
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Sorry, I don’t think that makes you a bad person, just someone who wants to look like a bad person. At this point those who buy SUVs and don’t need them are just poseurs.
I’m glad I’m not the only person who suddenly wants a truck of some kind. I’ve had my eye on a 1986 4-cyl 2-door Montero my old boss keeps around. The G500 is a surprisingly fun drive, and only gets better off-pavement!
Having is not as pleasurable as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.
So want away. We’ll only call you a bad person once you actually have it! (Just kidding – I don’t want to get flamed by the truckluv folks.)
Meshuggana.
Hell, I want a 34 Tatra model 75, a boat tail Auburn, A 67 Bug, a 47 GMC pick up, a series III XJ-6 that will run. How does it feel to want? I already have an SUV, an 88 Grand Wagoneer. Wanna buy it?
Exactly where would you go “off road”? I live in Upstate New York and have tried it and the best I can find are the occasional firebreak, logging roads and a few military-reservation jeep tracks that my friends who live in New Hampshire would navigate handily in their Pontiac Catalinas with a couple of cases of beer in the trunk for jackin’ the weight.
Who needs an SUV for that? Unless you’re doing something truly pointless, like driving the Rubicon for nine hours to go 11 miles.
Buy a semi truck for the ultimate statement. Imagine commuting to the office in that beast.
Be sure and hop it up so you can beat cars with it:
Don’t worry dude. They have medicine for that now. Call your Doctor. Stat.
@Stephan Wilkinson:
Where would I go off road? Nowhere. I live in NYC and in Nassau County, Long Island. I haven’t seen grass in months. Just pavement.
Even when I lived in western NY, there was the most limited opportunity to drive “off road,” which mainly consisted of lots of gravel and dirt roads badly paved. FWD sedans without traction control seemed to do the trick just fine.
I talk a big game. You’ll note that for all my car lustings, I drive a 4-cylinder front wheel drive hatchback.
It’s not any more pointless than driving a 300 hp sports car on the street. What, want to beat me to the next traffic light so you can sit there a few seconds longer than me?
Of course, it is sort of a free country, until the environazi’s get your vehicle too.
In 1994 I bought a new Mazda Navajo (badge engineered Ford Explorer because all of the actual Explorers were sold out and the ’95s were still weeks away) when I lived in Kingman, AZ. I kept it until late 2005 when it became a maintenance money pit.
I probably took it off road a total of 6 or 7 times in the 11 years I owned it and used it on the snowy, icy streets maybe 5 times. Kingman was all desert, State College, PA was mostly about snow, and Farmington, NM is some of both depending on the season. But mostly it was a larger crude commuter vehicle with expensive tires (the original infamous Firestones dry rotted after 2 short years and I replaced them before they exploded).
The 4.0 Liter pushrod V-6 (155 horse, CA version)was as crude as a tractor engine and the 2 door short body was bouncy and had a crappy ride, but in 1994 at 28, I was the man – for a little while anyway. Even with relatively inexpensive fuel at the time, the Navajo was still expensive to operate and maintain when compared with my previous Corolla SR5 – not to mention the payments. After a while, this asset became more of a liability. By 2005, my wife bought a cute ute (RAV4) and I bought another Corolla. I know, boring, but cheap to run.
Get a sport ute if you want it. May as well get it out of your system, logical reasons or not. Just be prepared to fork out the bucks and to get glaring looks of dissapproval by the self appointed morally arrogant finger wagging greenies (pardon my sarcasm).
Me? I get a free pass to drive un-PC trucks if I choose to in Farmington, NM, the land of the rez and oil wells aplenty. The official town vehicle here is the F-250.
I say look for a bargain H2
Since you mention the Jeep Wrangler as a possible SUV on your buy-list, a used Suzuki Samurai might fill the bill. The Samurai gives you some off-road cred (among those who take their off-roading seriously) without chugging gasoline as if gas was beer on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras.
Besides, you can always dream of dropping a ‘Busa engine into a Samurai….
On the bright side, at this rate within a few years you’ll be able to buy a full size SUV for some pocket change and a ham sandwich.
We await you on the darkside, Justin.
:)
I never even considered buying a real soft-roader until last month.
Maybe it merely is the pull of forbidden fruit.
Or, maybe it was the late June morning I spent driving a Range Rover off road as part of the Land Rover Experience at Quail Lodge.
Before then I never knew just how incredibly capable these vehicles really are over challenging terrain. Though I have absolutely no practical or actual use for one, I think it’d be fun to have one in the tool box.
I have no qualms about my co2 production so I’m with you. I’d like a Range Rover Supercharged with a Westminster appearance package, a MB G55 AMG (because it’s bonkers and sounds like “the god of thunder, gargling with nails”), and a Land Rover Discovery II HSE for going off road in style.
I drove a 4.0L Jeep Grand Cherokee for a while. It broke a lot and was frightening to drive on road (130 kmh felt like the end of the world, and it had a habit of violently spinning out without warning if you hit snow drifts in the winter, even with the 4 wheel drive locked) but it was a champ on the logging roads. I beat the snot out of it and it didn’t phase it, catching air over bumps, sliding around gravel roads, and slogging through mud. Then you’d drive it to work for a while and it would blow up the water pump. Go figure.
Every time I drive an SUV (usually because the Rental Car company screws up my reservation) I find them to be HORRIBLE to actually drive. They always feel to me like a Lay-Z-Boy recliner perched upon a grocery cart… wandering down the road. Vague steering, overly soft handling, high center-of-gravity. Cramped interior, gigantic exteriors, lousy fuel economy.
I have no idea what attracts people to these goofy machines.
–chuck
http://chuck.goolsbee.org
Yes, it’s horrible! But do with your money whatever you wish.
I bought a ’98 Nissan Pathfinder when I actually needed an off-road capable SUV a couple years ago. 5 speed, manual transfer case, lots of ground clearance, and 31″ tires. I have to admit I even liked driving it in the city, especially during winter.
Cramped interior, Chuck? You must be in a mini ute. Even our X3 is very comfortable.
Thank the car gods, it isn’t just me.
After driving a Blazer for three years, I entered sub-sub-subcompact land and have been merrily cruising around at 32 MPG with a healthy sense of well-being for the last half-decade or so.
Today two things happened: I realized I could easily pay off my minicar, and I discovered I could pick up a dirt-cheap used Tahoe for a similar monthly payment…and I really want to do it. YES LANDCRUSHER YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY. :)
I think it’s the market flipping ass-over-teakettle that’s doing this to us normally-rational guys. I’m going to keep telling myself it’s that, instead of a nerd-becomes-popular-and-turns-on-other-nerds situation.
Whatever the case, you aren’t alone. I’m so ashamed! *sob*
If we all bought cars according to our actual needs rather than wants and desires the would would be full of nothing but Corollas, Civics, 2WD compact pickups and Minivans.
Even is this brave new world of $4/gal Wranglers hold their value remarkably well. They are awesome off road and make an excellent 2nd or 3rd vehicle. As a daily driver they are absolute CRAP. The fuel economy of a full sized pickup with the usable interior volume of a compact.
You can get an older Jeep XJ for $1-2k right now on Craigslist. A newer XJ in better shape will run you $6-8k. Parts are easy & cheap and you have a virtual phone book of options should you want to start putting aftermarket parts on it.
Heck I’ve been flirting with the idea myself for having an abusable off road toy.
glaring looks of dissapproval by the self appointed morally arrogant finger wagging greenies (pardon my sarcasm).
….
I guess this guy never was accosted by a group of “right to lifers” on their way to blow up an abortion clinic…
Buy your truck if you want it. Hate to say it, but when my station car craps out, I may do just the same. Since it sees under 1200 miles a year gas is not really an issue. 5K will get a helluva good used truck. Go for it.
Justin,
Not a bad person. Just a slightly neurotic person. Note that you want the truck now that the price of gasoline has gone through the roof. Obviously there is something perverse going on in your head. I recommend a shot of bourbon at the end of the day. If that doesn’t work, a 10 day visit to your local Buddhist monastery should cure you of these worldly longings.
I just don’t get the truck thing. As Chuck says, they’re garbage to drive. If I had to haul stuff all the time, it might make sense, but I can’t imagine having any fun with one. (Just had to rotate the tires. the front tire edges were badly worn from hard cornering.)
I suggest you buy a gently used 4wd Chevy Tracker 2 door convertible. I have one and it’s lots of fun. It’s capable enough, gets reasonable gas mileage and really enjoyable in the warm season with the top off. PS: I also have an S10 and a Scion Xb for a daily driver.
Landcrusher said:
“Cramped interior, Chuck? You must be in a mini ute. Even our X3 is very comfortable.”
I’ve never seen an X3 in a rental fleet! ;)
No, I’ve always been stuck with a Ford product, usually an Explorer. Given the size of the exterior, you would imagine the interior would be a lot larger than it is. One time I was saddled with an Expedition (on a ski trip) and my gawd… that thing was like driving the Exxon Valdez (in more ways than one) and while it carried a goodly number of people the interior spaces were indeed ‘cramped’ … my old VW Vanagon from the 80s was a much better ski trip machine, at least in terms of interior room and cargo capacity. The engine was 1/3rd the size and power, but it still got us there and back, IN COMFORT every time. Handled pretty well for a box on wheels too.
–chuck
I don’t like Poser SUV drivers, They watered down SUV’s that you can’t even really take them off-road anymore.
I’m Keeping my Samurai until i die. Anyone Want to buy my Liberty?
Nothing like the fear of death at 2 mph.
“They always feel to me like a Lay-Z-Boy recliner perched upon a grocery cart… wandering down the road.”
When I got a Jeep Liberty loaner while my Porsche was serviced, I felt like I was a Shriner driving a motorized bar stool….. A red fez was all I needed to complete the mental image.
Mostly, SUVs are going away. I talked to one of my wife’s nurses yesterday. She grumbled about commuting expenses and said she can’t unload hers – might as well have asked the dealer if he’d enjoy a knee to the groin.
I’ve driven 40 years and have had a use for one once. And a lot of people who seriously could use them regularly don’t. During a couple week stay on a reservation, I watched any number of people navigate single tracks with washouts in old Tauruses and the like.
JM,
Hey, so long as you go in with your eyes open, it’s okay by me. I was happy to see from the survey so many others here buying cash though. The good news for you is that you bought at the bottom of the market, so the interest is covered by the discount. Eventually, the depreciation on SUV’s will bottom out such that they return to the way they used to depreciate before the gas price hikes. Enjoy your new toy.
Golden,
You are correct, morally arrogant finger wagging is wrong from all sides of the aisle, and is overly represented on all sides as well. I’ve probably been guilty of finger wagging myself (just not moral finger wagging).
ChuckG,
Well, poor design is poor design. When I used to rent a lot I often had to downgrade because I could fit better in the subcompacts than some of the midsize cars. The subs usually had better seat travel. I think it was the Lumina that was the worst culprit. Some SUV’s of today appeal in the same way that luxury boats of yore did, but not the explorer. Maybe the expedition, but I rarely look at domestics.
ChuckR,
Swapping from sports car to SUV is really strange, but if you really want to see someone freak take an airline captain who hasn’t been in a little prop plane in a decade and let him try to land one. A small change in perspective can throw you off your game, but 20 feet just changes the game altogether.
All I can say to you is it’s (for the time being) still a free country. Drive whatever you want to drive. Now if you’re wanting a new SUV and happen to live in the Soviet Republic of California after CARB has their way well…….
A Range Rover is hardly a soft roader.
I believe JB is in New York which is just like California. (A CARB State)
I like driving my brother’s Suburban. It’s fun but it is too big for everyday use. I like to be able to see all the corners of my car.
I love and drive my F150 daily. (RC, 5-speed man, V6 STX) I cannot let it go, and will not trade her for an economy car. Of course, my wife has one already.
i own an SUV. unless you need one for something i think that your brain must be getting mushy.
and i do believe that we should have the freedom to drive whatever we want and that we should burn ever last spot of fossil fuel as quickly as possible so that it is all used up.
tdoyle- interesting combo, did you have to order that?