GM's Fastlane blog keeps the chuckles coming, with an awkward little paean to the General's legendary reliability. Penned by "GM VP, Quality" Jamie Hresko, the post lets webizens know that if you Google "one million miles" you'll find stories about two GM vehicles that have crested the million mile mark: a 1989 Saab 900 SPG and a 1991 Chevrolet Silverado. But wait; didn't GM first buy into Saab in 1990? Although the old 900 had nothing to do with GM, its achievements still reflect well on the General because, dammit, they shelled-out for the PR rights. By buying the owner a brand new 9-5 Aero when the 900 SPG's odometer rolled over and didn't die. Over two years ago. But the funniest (not ha-ha) part of the story: GM just reduced the length of its Saab warranties, cutting mileage covered from 100k to 50k. But as Hresko says, this whole affair proves that "the real gap is not between GM quality and that of our competitors, the real gap lies between perception and reality." Like when he encourages the perception that "we back up our products with the industry's best transferable powertrain warranty, five years/100,000 miles," despite the, well, reality. [hat tip to kixstart]

Once again, The Wall Street Journal reports on the latest automotive meta-gossip as fact, citing anonymous sources. "The two companies agreed earlier this year to team up on pickup trucks and subcompact cars. Since then, they have been discussing an agreement under which Nissan would produce midsize sedans that Chrysler would sell in the U.S. under its own name, people familiar with the matter say." This is the K-Martization concept that TTAC floated in the Chrysler Suicide Watch. Although the WSJ is happy to conclude the partnership "could help bring the company back to profitability, even though its vehicle sales are declining," this will never work. As our Deep Throat points out, "It’s way more complicated than it appears. Imagine having different vendors sourcing entire cars… the logistics are impossible. There’s no commonality in interiors, exterior design (no matter how hard Chrysler tries to align the exteriors), the systems (including software), etc. etc. They’re all different among manufacturers. Imagine parts distribution – a nightmare – trying to source all of that and then supplying it. Simple things like part numbers go haywire. Then what about warranty items. Who pays what?" And then there's branding… A full CSW to follow.

So, what does GM CEO Rick Wagoner have on the 13 other members of the automaker's Bored of Directors? Whatever it is, it must be both criminal AND depraved. How else can you explain the fact that George Fisher (the lead independent BOD member) and his cronies have thrown their support behind The General's top general? Under Wagoner's watch, GM's shed over 10 percent of its U.S. market share, sold everything that wasn't nailed down, flushed its share price down the proverbial toilet, slid into negative market capitalization (if you think about it) and screwed-up its branding beyond repair. That should be enough to get a dictator fired, never mind an executive of a publicly held company. And that doesn't include the fact that Wagoner has banked over $100m personally and NEVER announced hard targets for his "turnaround" plan. His equally nebulous plan from here on out is also grounds for dismissal. Oh well. It looks like GM will file for much-needed and now inevitable Chapter 11 protections over Wagoner's dead body. Perhaps it will go straight to Chapter 7, as and when. Meanwhile, the chances of a GM shareholder revolt grow by the day. And the lawsuit won't be far behind. This is going to get ugly. And if you really want to get your blood boiling, check the caption this photo or click on over to The Detroit News, whose wishy-washy, pom-pom threatening report could well be The Mother of All Apologias.

July's temperatures may have been hotter than Hell, but U.S. new car sales were in Hell. Rising gas prices have thrown the entire American auto industry into turmoil, flooding the market with used SUVs and pickups, cratering residual values and trapping millions of consumers in light truck limbo. At the same time, automakers can't ramp-up production quickly enough on those fuel-sipping models that are leaving the lots. Incentives aren't moving the metal, but NOT increasing them would be worse. The downturn is widespread. And despite what the automakers say, it's going to get worse. Soon. For now, here's the damage report. 

Information Week reports that Cobasys can't make shipments of NiMh batteries to Daimler. The battery firm, a joint venture between Chevron and Energy Conversion Devices (ECD), lost $76m in 2007. The owners mixed like oil and water. Both "partners" are keen to foist the money-loser on someone else. Daimler's filing a lawsuit (or two) against Cobasys accusing Chevron, ECD and Cobasys of conspiring to keep the plan to bail a secret from Mercedes officials– so that the automaker wouldn't pull the battery deal. Daimler also alleges that Cobasys hadn't begun production on its $6m NiMh contract "in case new owners don't want the contract." And so… "Without a reliable source for this critical part, (we) will be unable to produce the hybrid vehicle in accordance with its scheduled launch date, and will likely be forced to either cancel the vehicle entirely, or delay the launch for an extended period in order to identify and develop a substitute battery, and to redesign other portions of the vehicle to accommodate it." Ouch. Meanwhile, we are still anxiously waiting to hear if rumors of a Cobasys sale to GM were correct or not. After this debacle, with GM's cash flow issues, we can only hope the answer is not.

Packard had a long, proud history of building head-of-state-worthy whips. But what's the long defunct company actually worth these days? Ask the man who owns one! Roy Gulickson has been president of Packard since he bought the company name in 1995, and now he's trying to sell it for a princely $1.5m. So for Veyron money you could own a classic luxury marque of your own, complete with engineering designs, tools, spare parts and supplier information… from 1958. But wait, there's more! Reuters says Gulickson will also throw in "a new Packard prototype that comes with an all-aluminum V-12 engine and a traditional chrome grille." And by "new" they mean it was built in 1998. If you are foolhardy bold and visionary enough to want to resurrect a once-proud American luxury brand, you might want to move soon on this. An analyst insists that four companies have expressed "serious interest" in buying the company. Gullickson does admit that "perhaps using a smaller engine or converting it to run on compressed natural gas" would make the prototype more attractive in the era of four dollar gas– but that's a problem for the buyer to figure out. Meanwhile, Packard purists insist the brand should be allowed to rest in peace.

Oil lovers, [wait to] start your engines! The BMW 335d won't make it stateside until November. But Camaro-like, that hasn't stopped press releases nor live photos from hitting the webs. The diesel 3's estimated EPA ratings of 23/33 blow the 335i's fuel consumption out of the water. But if BMW is smart, they won't market the 335d as a fuel efficient sedan. All of Paul Neidermeyer's usual diesel critiques apply here: more expensive to buy, more expensive to fuel and not vastly more fuel efficient. Ah but– the 265 horsepower, oil-fed twin-turbo straight six will produce with a tug boat-like 425 ft.-lbs. of torque. That's more twist than the 335i. Hell, that's more than the M3. Other than the fact that the 335d and 335xd (all wheel drive) will be autobox only (don't kvetch – Europeans won't get this car with a manual either), the stump-pulling 335d makes a convincing case for itself as the thinking man's sports sedan. With the 335i starting at $39k, I'd put my random guess on a sticker around $42k.

Pics of the US spec car "in the wild" at E90post.com

A friend of mine works for the GAO (Government Accountability Office) out here in the City of Angels. As cracking the traffic nut in Los Angeles is the Gordian Knot of our time, he hears a lot of supposed "solutions." Sadly, most involve toll roads. However, one we've discussed that I like is the idea of separate roads for semi trucks. More specifically, all cargo coming into San Pedro and Long Beach gets trained up to near Union station where it is then picked up by waiting trailers that then drive off on rig-only roads. With no passenger cars to get in their way, the semis could haul three trailers. Flipside: with no big rigs clogging the freeways, traffic would roll. Furthermore, as 100 percent of all non-weather road damage is caused by 18-wheelers, public roads would last much, much longer and be shuttered less often for repairs. Win/win, if you ask me. Though, there is that up front cost… Still, I think it's a fantastic plan. Now, we just get another series of roads in place for anything with two-wheels and we're in business. What do you think?

Automotive News [sub] reports that HSBC is leaving the U.S. auto loan business. The financial giant cites diminished returns on investment (i.e. it's not making money). The Hong Kong-based banking house plans to eliminate its $12.5b portfolio of American auto loans over the next three years. According to the less-read SubPrime Auto Finance News, HSBC has been reducing its exposure to the volatile US car market since March of this year. Since HSBC wasn't in the lease-financing  business, it hasn't faced the ravages that have led the domestic automakers to end their leasing problems. In fact, the cause of the withdrawal seems less about its business is tanking and more about putting the money to more profitable use. "Our vehicle finance portfolio actually improved credit quality over the period," HSBC Finance CEO Michael Geoghegan claims. "But the business does not have sufficient critical mass or the pricing power to provide an acceptable return to the group." Interestingly, Forbes argues that HSBC's willingness to write down bad debt early in the subprime mortgage crisis indicated a conservative approach that paid off. HSBC stock took an immediate hit, but with its books in order, it's now considered to be better off for having faced reality when other banks clung to their bad paper. Maybe HSBC sees more unraveling ahead for U.S. auto lenders, and wants to avoid the writedowns it endured a few months ago.

Ford's PR machine is working overtime. Before 10 AM, FoMoCo sent out seven press releases. The first missive trumpets the fact that the 2009 Focus will be available in a SEL trim line with a lot of standard stuff that's optional on other Focii. And all Focii will now have electronic stability control (standard on the Hyundai Elantra). The next release tells the world that $1,995 buys you a glass roof panel for your 2009 Mustang. Release three: The Blue Oval Boys are moving up the introduction of an "industry-first innovation" (the Blind Spot Mirror) by a year, and making it standard on the 2009 Edge. Release number four reveals the pains to which FoMoCo goes– "driving, shaking, baking and freezing the vehicle"– to keep the Flex from living up to its name. Another news flash! The Lincoln MKS is available in luscious White Chocolate, Sangria and Cinnamon (dieters can delight in Tuxedo Black Metallic, White Suede, Brilliant Silver Metallic, Smokestone, Light Ice Blue and Dark Ink Blue). The penultimate press release brags that the MKS "outsold the Acura RL, Infiniti M35 and Cadillac STS" in July, thanks to "unique marketing and education efforts underway since the vehicle was introduced in November." Finally, Ford wants us to know that their powertrain lineup "underscores four key pillars of the company's 'Drive one' communications effort: Drive Green, Drive Smart, Drive Quality, and Drive Safe." Interestingly it says nothing about driving me crazy. And the day's not over yet…

Given that GM terminated the HUMMER brand not long after its dealers spent millions constructing Quonset hut-style shoppertainment centers, a Saturn showroom makeover may not be welcome news for fans of the ailing "import fighter." But there it is, via The Detroit News' John McCormick. Needless to say, Motown's Big Mac is down with the design re-think. Which, upon careful reading, is no biggie (unless you're looking for an excuse for a junket to Connecticut). "All this research has translated into careful adjustments to the way a Saturn showroom is laid out; how chairs and desks are positioned, how computer monitors are presented, how accessories are presented and so on. For example, the sales desks have no drawers, two chairs on both sides and a computer monitor that is angled so the customer can see it easily. Shoppers are encouraged to surf the internet for competitive deals right in front of the sales person… Overall, the showroom design puts more emphasis on people than cars, which are arrayed to the outside, leaving the center area for seating and displays." Meanwhile… Despite Saturn's latest ad campaign and refreshed Euro-style product line-up, Roger Smith's baby racked-up just 17,603 sales in July. That's down 13.6 percent for the month, -17.9 percent for the year.  

MAN am I bored with the new Chevrolet Camaro. GM's drip-feed PR campaign– ahead of the retro-modern muscle car's delayed, spring '09 launch– has been interminable. At this point, what else is there to say about the car? Except next! I mean, GMNext. Am I the only person who visits this website? My gardener's blog gets more comments. But I could be wrong; Camaro Product Manager John Fitzpatrick claims "The response [to an online chat] was overwhelming — we were typing as fast as we could and still couldn’t get to about 100 of your questions." It looks like John's a hunt-and-peck kinda guy; he's chosen just 13 Q's and A'ed them in a terse/cut-and-paste style. We learn the info above (which we already knew from the PR snaps) and the fact that the Camaro "has a specific life-cycle plan" (score one for planned obsolescence!). It will accommodate golf clubs. Yes, but how many sets? Damn! The suspense is killing me. 

Detroit News scribe Scott Burgess is the gas-guzzling Dodge Challenger SRT-8's target demographic: a 50-something white car guy who never met a big-bore V8 he didn't like. As such, as a writer for Motown's hometown paper, Burgess can't just come out and call the new $46k Chrysler Aspen HEMI Hybrid a deeply-misguided, over-priced, poorly-built piece of shit. Even though, clearly, it is. The resulting review is a study in inner conflict and rhetorical turmoil. (Or is that the other way around?) We're talking about a vehicle that gets a "???" on Burgess' report card. There's plenty of unintentional humor to be had here, as the reviewer plays good cop/bad cop with his own conscience. "This SUV handles like a bowl of Jello when going fast. The electric power steering is a little loose and the body rolls through turns heavily. I said it before: it's a big truck. The braking (which also helps recharge the batteries) is excellent, so I never found myself in too much trouble. There may be people who need this kind of vehicle, but the real problem is there are just not that many." And if you want insight into Detroit's chip-on-the-shoulder belligerence and product-related denial, well, here it is. "So before every hemp-wearing nut spills his green ice tea lemonade (no syrup) while in a hurry to send me a terse e-mail over his iPhone 3G about the evils of SUVs, let me tell you something: You're wrong. Americans may switch to smaller cars, but it's only because they have to; not because they want to." So now you know.

Nissan has decided that using Toyota powertrains in its Altima hybrid is a bit embarrassing. So they're working on one of their own. If CNet is to be believed, "Nissan's system is designed for a rear-wheel-drive car, and uses two clutches, doing away with a torque converter for more efficient power use." That's right sports fans, he said rear-wheel-drive. But before the hybrid Z-car rumors get out of control, consider that "Nissan hasn't released any details on performance yet, or when it might offer a car with this technology." Mes anwhile, they're charging ahead with Li-ion EVs, apparently. PC World reports that "Nissan has committed to launch its first all-electric car in the U.S. and Japan in 2010 and to mass market the vehicle globally by 2012." The latest prototype is a version of Nissan's Cube. PC World got to take the 80kw beast out on the track. The verdict? "On the test track it easily got up to a speed of 100 kilometers per hour." Breathtaking. But wait there's more! Nissan also has a new fuel cell stack that is smaller and lighter than previous models. And it uses half the platinum of previous fuel cells (a development that'll likely alienate literally hundreds of DUB readers from the green movement). While it's nice of Nissan to remind us that technology marches on, it's no substitute for a here-and-now hybrid system. Y'know, like the one they buy from Toyota.

Selling an SUV in today’s market is financial suicide. Residual values have dropped by double digits— and that was just last week. Buyers who somehow managed to complete the SUV exodus better watch out for the next auto da fe: fully-loaded versions of entry-level whips. Expect a serious depreciation hit for these luxury econoboxes at trade-in time. Still, checking the options list wisely works wonders for your driving pleasure. To wit: the lame duck Ford Focus.