Find Reviews by Make:
The recently re-educated former uber-capitalist Jim Cramer was his usual shy self yesterday whilst laying out his plan for the first 100 days of an Obama administration to CNBC. Jim the Shouter says he’s just responding to a deluge of viewer emails demanding his plan to fix the economy. As a self-described “often wrong, never in doubt talk show commentator”, Cramer’s plan goes something like this… Day 1: Appoint him, Jim Cramer, Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Chairman of the SEC and Treasury Secretary all at once. Main qualification: Will worker harder than anyone and knows exactly what to do. Day 2: “But in all seriousness,” fix the auto industry: Start by using government backing to do the Cerberus-Chrysler/GM merger deal. This should be “easy to do” because John Snow (Cerberus head and former Bush Treasury Secretary) and Bob Nardelli “have tremendous leverage in Washington.” Never mind that “it’s harder to find two more incompetent figures…” the boys have juice. Besides, the two are “fabulous TV guests, so let’s keep giving them a free pass.” That done, the government should “take a huge position in GM common stock” and buy “billions in newly issued GM preferred stock, which would protect GM’s bonds and convert GM debt back into high grade commercial paper.”With the magic restoration of GM’s credit rating, jobs would be protected and the worker’s unions would be “able to continue to fight the good fight.” Since “Obama seems to actually care about the little guy this could become a government of, by and for the workers.” Despite the slightly Trotskyism implications, this plan would still be better “than just stuffing billions into the bankers pockets, which is really the Republican’s plan.” After handling GM in the morning of Day 2, do the same for Ford in the afternoon. Cramer views this as turning the US automotive industry into something akin to Europe’s state-sponsored Airbus, or the pre-bailout Fannie and Freddie. He fails to mention the U.S. Postal Service, another government sponsored but quasi-independent service industry behemoth.
Day 3: Solve energy independence by switching over in a massive way to natural gas, which the U.S. has in sufficient supply to “last until the end of days.” Use the government’s new-found domination of the auto industry and ability to influence the oil industry and buying power (require all federal vehicles to be CNG powered by 2012) to make it so. Without using the name, Cramer pretty much reiterated the entire “Pickens’ Plan.”
Day 4: Stop all deportations of immigrants in order to support the housing market by giving immigrants the confidence to start buying homes again. This group “doesn’t default” because the will “take three or four jobs, do whatever it takes” to keep paying their debts. That done, use the remaining $400b in the TARP, which is “probably currently earmarked to make sure bonuses at Merrill Lynch are paid,” to buy up 1.3m homes and either resell them with advantageous mortgages; or simply burn them down to remove supply from the market.
Day 5: Rest up, the work is done.
And all of this from a guy who wanted John McCain to be the next President. No wonder they call his show “Mad Money.”
19 Comments on “Bailout Watch 151: Mad Money’s Jim Cramer is a Man with a Plan...”
Read all comments
Although he’s completely off the wall…
At least he has a plan with a timeline. Better than most politicans and political appointees.
Stuff like this reinforces my decision to pitch my TV a few months ago.
Insane. GM, Ford and Chrysler are global companies who have been competing with all the other global auto companies for how long now. Let their leadership and decisions drive their own victory or demise and let the marketplace decide if they are the ones to provide the best solutions for each auto or truck customer. Based upon their sales trend rates, the market has been deciding that they are not providing the right answer. Thus, I’m not remotely interested in seeing my wallet be redistributed toward them at all.
I thought the Lord rested on the SEVENTH day!?!? Actually creating the world sounds slightly less daunting of a task than what Big Jim is spouting………
Who cares what Jim says? He’s not in charge. Opinions are like …. well you know the rest.
Stuff like this reinforces my decision to pitch my TV a few months ago.
Both our ancient TV’s are about to die and I was looking forward to buying a new flat screen HD TV and maybe getting DirectTV again. After reading this I think I might follow your lead and just trash them both before we move and just enjoy a fireplace for entertainment.
Do you just have to be an annoying idiot to get TV show or talk show these days.
He is my neighbor and I should not speak ill of him, but he cost me a lot of money in really crappy advise, lately. Jimmy is as much business Oracle as Snow+Nardelli auto restructuring and resurrection experts. He was best bod of former governor of NY Spitzer and he did not see his fall from grace coming either.
However, he’ll be excellent choice for Obama administration since they both Harvard Law alumni and lawyers know best.
Redbarchetta:
Get your large flat-screen TV. You will help the economy with your purchase! And, you can buy a blue-ray edition of a fireplace fire, a fish aquarium, or a live webcam feed of the Nurburgring entrance.
I can’t imagine how much money you’ve lost if you take Cramer’s advice seriously.
I think I could do better than him making guesses.
This guy was entertaining and funny a few years ago. Now, well, he should whore himself for a different line of work.
While I’m not fond of Cramer, his (plagiarized) idea of going to Natural Gas actually IS a really good idea.
Solve energy independence by switching over in a massive way to natural gas, which the U.S. has in sufficient supply to “last until the end of days.”
This actually isn’t true. The US is becoming increasingly dependent upon natural gas imports, and is going to have to spend billions to create the infrastructure necessary to increase its ability to import it. (Importing it requires expensive conversion plants at both the shipping and receiving ends, and special ships to carry it.)
Pickens floats this lie because it serves his business interests to tout it. He’s getting killed on his wind and gas ventures, and wants subsidies and government fleets to save him from his investments. That doesn’t mean that we should believe him.
What the US does have in abundance is coal. But like everything else, coal mining and burning aren’t exactly optimal, either.
Actually, I will forever be indebted to Jim Cramer. For several years, I had been worried about real-estate speculation in the U.S., in Spain and in several other countries. After I saw his on-screen meltdown about the coming financial crisis in the summer of 2007, it tipped the scale for me, and I sold most of my positions.
There are two things you have to know about Cramer. First, he is a great writer — both his blogs and his books are informative and entertaining. Secondly, his picks come from the Church of What’s Happening Now: they are extremely short-term. So I never buy a stock he recommends, but I did buy one of his books, and enjoyed it immensely.
Redbarchetta:
Go for it dude. You’ll be suprised how better life is.
The domestic automakers will grab the cash and run, pay their executives finder fees, continue to crank out undesirable cars consumers won’t buy, and stiff the morons who do buy on warranty repairs. They did it in 1980 when the Reagan administration embargoed Japanese imports, when the government bailed out Chrysler and they’ll do it again. It’s in their nature. Only bankruptcy will force them to address market and financial realities.
One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.
The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn’t see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.
Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.
“Hellooo Mr. Frog!” called the scorpion across the water, “Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?”
“Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?” asked the frog hesitantly.
“Because,” the scorpion replied, “If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!”
Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. “What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!”
“This is true,” agreed the scorpion, “But then I wouldn’t be able to get to the other side of the river!”
“Alright then…how do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?” said the frog.
“Ahh…,” crooned the scorpion, “Because you see, once you’ve taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!”
So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog’s back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog’s soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.
Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog’s back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.
“You fool!” croaked the frog, “Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?”
The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drowning frog’s back.
“I could not help myself. It is my nature.”
Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.
Self destruction – “Its my Nature”, said the Scorpion…
I wouldn’t buy a used oil well from this guy, but he sure is entertaining.
Are you sure this wasn’t a Saturday Night Live skit?
Redbarchetta: “Do you just have to be an annoying idiot to get TV show or talk show these days”?
No, but it helps. A lot.
PCH101 beat me to it. Natural gas is not in such an abundant supply in this country, coal is. But, that’s not the “right” fossil fuel.
I’m still holding onto my Bear Stearns stock after Jim told me to buy a few days before the crash.