I waited all day for the fear to take hold. Wandering through a parking lot jammed with alien whips, I wondered when the icy fingers would make contact with my sun-baked scapulae. But it never came. As the desert sun faded to dusk and Las Vegas slowly came to life with humming neon, I couldn’t help but take what alcoholics call a searching and fearless moral inventory. What had robbed these ferociously unnecessary monuments to excess of their terrifying power? Were they too much at home in glittering Babylon, little more than tiny microcosms of the glaring titans that loom over the Vegas Strip? Or had some infectious irony (gone pandemic in the face of national malaise) landed in this last bastion of shallow glitz, reducing each glittering status symbol to so much light parody? Or was I (and the creators of these mechanical beasts) simply preoccupied with said malaise, and the seemingly inevitable national transformation which has only now, as I write from my hotel room, been officially realized? Nobody goes to Vegas seriously expecting answers, but was a little existential fear now too much to ask for too?
Nothing had empirically castrated the gleaming hulks which littered the front of the Las Vegas Convention Center. The luxury armored cars, fire-breathing dragsters, and bristling street racers were not short on horsepower, fuck-off attitude, or obtrusive hedonism. Behind me, a twin-turbo Hennessy GT40 roared to life, blasting a window-rattling raspberry at the very notion that hydrocarbons might not be a God-given and limitless right. No, this automotive bloodline was clearly still feeling its oats, evolving in every monstrous direction and bouncing off the limits of sanity.
And yet, gazing on these brutes I felt nothing more than the inevitable maturity that settles on any movement that founds itself on the principles of outrage and excess. Where a low-slung, double-bubble-topped artifact from the era of the great Dream-O-Ramas shone with the promise of a sleeker, lower-slung future, the Hummer on four individual tread-tracks spoke only of a culture sliding into a morass of unimaginative self-parody. Or a deeply unwell individual.
But even the sight of an H2 perched on triangular traction generators (and its cultural implications) couldn’t shake a sensation that I was witnessing something vulnerable. Fragile, even, for aftermarket parts. Maybe I’ve been watching too much cable TV news which can not stop blaring the promise of historical change they swear is happening. Perhaps it’s the steady diet of apocalyptic news I’ve digested steadily since becoming an automotive blogger. Whatever the reason, I feel the earth shifting around the SEMA show.
When the founder of the duPont Registry admitted that he’d received many questions about the status of the luxury auto market, he made no refutation to the fundamental implication: that Americans can no longer afford the irrational exuberance his publication hocks. All he could say was that the industry must focus on the global market, a remark which strangely reinforced my impression that the boom-town bustle, status fixation and epic scale of Las Vegas felt more Chinese than American. He then unveiled the $300k Knight XV luxury armored car.
If not every mechanical saurian born at the SEMA show notices the burning comet which appears to hurtle towards it, is it even fair to blame its pimps and proud owners? Surely no Tyrannosaur ever considered the evolutionary choices of its forbears (damn, baby girl, you got some tiny arms) anything less than a step towards unprecedented greatness. In the same way, since the first cars emerged from the workshops that gave them birth, their creators have sought to make them bigger, faster and more expressive. That this process of evolution, which has captured the minds and imaginations of millions, has culminated in the grotesque monstrosities haunting the Las Vegas Convention Center is no more surprising than the fact that most dinosaurs eventually transformed from primeval monsters to modern birds.
And though the odd archaeopteryx (Yaris Club, anyone?) perched between the brontosauri, subtly pointing to a more rational future, there is little to suggest that nonsensically transforming utilitarian machines into fearsome beasts is going away completely. Old-school muscle machines outshone their new-wave pretenders, smiling like crocodiles who know that their niche isn’t going anywhere. Car tuning may have become a $38b industry thanks to cheap credit and poor taste, but its beating heart is the not the guy who put 28 inch wheels on a Phantom Drophead Coupe. It’s the guy who works eight hours and then goes home to spend his evening on his back under an internal combustion engine. When the 2009 SEMA show convenes a year from now, that guy will be back in Vegas. More than a few of the dinosaurs may not.
Bravo, Niedermeyer! Bravo!
Well done, Mr. Niedermeyer. I love your correlation between Vegas and China. My parents live in Vegas, so I am there often. I lived in Shenzhen myself for a year not too long ago. There are eerie resemblances–mostly having to do with some ostentatious displays born of terrible taste and fast money. However, Vegas is still so utterly ridiculous it is on it’s own level. One of my favorite cultural experiments there was to go personally visit some Chinese nationals who are our business partners at the CES show in Vegas last January, and talk to them about their impressions of Vegas. For many of them, this was their one and only vision of America. What a mind fuck that must be!
Nope! Still boring.
I can see the appeal of boosting the performance of cheap, reliable, economical, and relatively light cars like Civics, Fits, and Scions. I even see the appeal of giving them a unique look, although 99% of the cars with custom rims, wings, body kits, etc., are laughable. I also wonder how many of the “import tuners” even have credit cards or home equity loans. I’m guessing they live in their parents basement and sell weed or work at Dominos to fund their hobby. I think the industry has a future.
Indeed, maybe SEMA meant something, maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant. There was madness in any direction, at any hour. Now, with the right kind of eyes, you can look upon the creations at SEMA and you can almost see the high-water mark, the place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.
There’s a new installment of The Fast and Furious under production right now, so maybe the tuner craze isn’t over yet…
So I posted my comment in the wrong place…
So this is the second article today belittling the SEMA show. Granted, it is not my cup of tea, but who am I to judge what makes a cool custom? Or more to the point, what mods an aftermarket manufacturer produces and displays on a car destined for a SEMA show? The point is to show off your wares so “talented” individuals might purchase them and make a rolling work of art worthy of your critisms.
Is there ANY car produced that could not do with some change? Be it larger brakes, better cooling, more comfy seats? And though I am not so hard of hearing that I require shakers and enough wattage to power a whole grid section of the Vegas Strip, someone might think it’s the bees knees! Some poor chap might just need all that neon to find his contact lenses after the shakers pop them out. Some underfinanced boy racer needs the quick fill decal on his gas cap door to separate him from all the posers at the local hangout.
Yes, I agree much (most) of the SEMA show is bling not worthy of a real car guy, but since when does function have to fit for in custom cars anyway?
I know, I know, keep my 2 cents to myself…
Kurt.
Reading your editorial in the Hotel Altpradl in Innsbruck adds even an additional element of surrealism to your experiences in LV. Excellent work, dear son! You make your pappy proud.
Jeez, I said it before: The Austrians are taking over! Fine by me. I’m Bavarian. We always stuck together.
I’m guessing my perspective is probably in the minority …partly because I’ve actually been to SEMA a number of times.
For those who know of SEMA only from web galleries, SEMA is a trade show first and foremost. Though granted, it’s grown into a very over-the-top trade show …and they do play pretty fast and loose with the rules as to who qualifies as an “industry person”.
Nonetheless… it’s a week of auto aftermarket-related product exhibits, conferences, press announcements, secondary shows(e.g., APEX at the Sands), and mucho horsepower eye candy.
Inasmuch as they group exhibitors by product type, the LVCC South Hall has become a Custom Wheel-Blinding Bling-Thong Babe ghetto of sorts. While this gets big play on the web, everyone isn’t selling diamond-plated 24″s for Escalades or coffee-can mufflers for Hondas.
Over-the-top show cars?
1-If you’re selling parts and you want booth traffic to look at your new line of blocks- injectors-suspension bits-lug nuts-headers-fuzzy dice, etc… you package the parts in a sweet show car.
2 – Plus, all* of the OE’s parcel out “dollar cars” to top tier builders to customize and showcase their respective sponsor’s products throughout the three halls.
Does anyone really need a truck with tank treads? Hmmm…probably not, but it gets the sponsor much-desired PR buzz/viz.
*(This will probably change in the very near future).
The (un?)intentional homage to HST aside, a good read! I think that cruising the floor at SEMA could just be so much better after a few whiffs of ether… whaddaya think?
Automotive “Circus Circus”, so to speak.
Lynn S. Thompson called….
Ugh. I loathe SEMA and the whole tuner culture. I’d much, much rather visit a show where only race companies and old-fashioned engine builders were allowed in. You know, people who actually know how to build fast cars – which are not Neons with chrome bits and a hyperactive engine that will grenade in four miles.
SEMA back in the day = New, innovative, exciting
Today’s SEMA = stereotypical corporate sterility, boring, bling-ridden, bimbo-fest….
I’m with JEC on the whole tuner culture – avoid at all costs if you aren’t the “follow the crowd”, lemming-type…
vento97 – I will NOT stand for knocking bimbos!
On second thought, that sounded bad.
WHy all the hatin’ on SEMA?
Is it the individualization perhaps that the PC crowd can’t stand?
Is it the power enhancements that frighten their timid souls?
Is it the refusal to bow down to the modern luddites screaming that we must return to the caves that constricts their anuses?
What is it?
@Wolven: I think it’s the crap. Yeah, definitely the crap.
WHy all the hatin’ on SEMA?
Is it the individualization perhaps that the PC crowd can’t stand?
Is it the power enhancements that frighten their timid souls?
Is it the refusal to bow down to the modern luddites screaming that we must return to the caves that constricts their anuses?
What is it?
I think it’s some deep seated belief that it’s heretical to tinker with what the OEM has provided us.
It’s utterly blasphemous to envision a bone-stock vehicle as a blank canvas ready to be painted in the colors of creativity, no matter what form it takes.
Must you turn your xB into a rolling disco extravaganza? How dare you turn your 300 hp STI into a 500 hp monster!
Perhaps it’s the strobe lights that are too frightening? Maybe they’re scared of screaming turbochargers and hissing blow-off valves.
Oh, why can’t we all be thoughtful, sensible, and caring citizens who make do with Camrys? (I would’ve added Accords, but those get customized alot too)
OK, quasi, I’ll bite. I’ll admit that I have no problem with the fact that 95%+ of the car-owning public see cars as appliances. I don’t see the point of having an opinion about this fact, but this doesn’t make me “anti-customization.”
The automotive aftermarket isn’t in great shape compared to the last decade or so of strong growth. Again, not something that is subject to my opinion. My theory is that as the market contracts, the most over-the-top, garish and unnecessary elements of the market will be squeezed. I am neither frightened of nor threatened by these extreme elements, I simply think they have had their moment in the mainstream, and will return to relative obscurity in the niches they emerged from.
The successful aftermarket firms of the future will offer products that improve the looks, utility, efficiency, and yes, performance in ways that offer more than extreme shock value. Or further refinement of a long-cliched aesthetic strain. Or extreme performance at the expense of reliability and useability.
The successful aftermarket firms of the future will offer products that improve the looks, utility, efficiency, and yes, performance in ways that offer more than extreme shock value. Or further refinement of a long-cliched aesthetic strain. Or extreme performance at the expense of reliability and useability.
Really? Are you telling me that ALL the companies at SEMA are merely aiming for “extreme shock value”? Exactly what does that mean?
While you may object, it seems pretty clear that there isn’t ANYTHING you liked at SEMA… Apparently, customizing just isn’t your cup o’ tea. Makes me wonder why you were the one sent to report for TTAC.
Finally, I don’t think you are REMOTELY close with the “95%+ of the car-owning public see cars as appliances” line. Are you trying to convince me that only 5% of the “car-owning public” (evil folks maybe?) create enough business to support all those SEMA companies?
I don’t think so Ed…
Really? Are you telling me that ALL the companies at SEMA are merely aiming for “extreme shock value”?
Of course not. Look, if you want “gee isn’t this all just so awesome” coverage of the SEMA show, it won’t be hard to find. Surely you’re not suggesting that NOBODY at SEMA goes for “extreme shock value.”
Are you trying to convince me that only 5% of the “car-owning public” (evil folks maybe?) create enough business to support all those SEMA companies?
This is ridiculous. “Evil folks?” The five percent I refer to are those who modify their vehicle to the point where day-to-day utility is considerably diminished. I’d argue that maybe a sixth of SEMA exhibitors actively courts this crowd/scene.
If SEMA is suffering as a result of the economic downturn (nobody seems to deny this), which firms would you argue will suffer most?
Edward,
An interesting article, but a little perspective – we’ve been through this before. During economic downturns, someone or some group is always rushing to declare the death of the car, or at least the death of the cars that people really care about. During tough times, interest in utilitarian modes of transporation – the original Rambler, early Japanese cars, etc. – increases, and custom cars, along with performance cars, are derided as “silly” or a waste of money. Which, to some extent, they are, but people aren’t required to be rational when spending their money. They do, however, have to have the money to spend in the first place.
It happened in the mid-1970s with the fuel crunch, in the early 1980s with the second fuel crunch and resulting recession, and in the early 1990s with the recession that drove the first George Bush out of ofice.
Yet, when the economy bounced back, so did the interest in cars and customizing them.
The customization trend had been growing under the radar for years. The Fast and the Furious made it into a mainstream phenomemon.
Now it is getting hammered by the collapse of the new-car market and a blossoming recession. It will come back, although it will manifest itself in a different way.
The five percent I refer to are those who modify their vehicle to the point where day-to-day utility is considerably diminished. I’d argue that maybe a sixth of SEMA exhibitors actively courts this crowd/scene.
O.K. I wasn’t getting that sense from the article. To me, it sounded like that’s what EVERYBODY was doing.
And just for the record, I agree with you on the extreme “bling” stuff. Just like some of the hideous piercing, hair, and clothing styles some kids wear. BUT, although most of the time “I” think it looks awful, I would still argue for their right to do it. Cuz every once in a while you see something new that actually has some real style.
It’s not that I was looking for rah, rah, on the SEMA coverage… but at the same time, all “I” was reading was that EVERYTHING was awful, tasteless, pointless, vanities upon vanities, and chasing after the wind…