When Chrysler stuck its nose in the bailout trough, the ailng American automaker’s executives had to wonder what the Hell anyone within the company could possibly tell lawmakers/money givers about Chrysler’s viability. Except, you know, the fact that they don’t have any. But never underestimate the power of positive PR or, as we call it around here, bullshit. To wit: former ToMoCo Prez and current ChryCo co-Prez Jim Press’ comments to Automotive News [sub, AN] last week. “He suggested that Chrysler could show the way to a sustainable model for a smaller U.S. auto industry. ‘If there’s one company in America that can build high-craftsmanship, innovative vehicles, it’s Chrysler,’ Press said.” Hey, is Jimbo saying American can’t build high-craftsmanship, innovative vehicles? Anyway, down ye olde rabbit hole we go…
“Chrysler will build vehicles that have premium features but are affordable to consumers. Press said the 2009 Dodge Ram 1500 pickup signals the company’s direction. ‘If Mercedes-Benz built a pickup truck, that’s what it would be, said Press.”
And now, the punchline…
“He said Chrysler is making premium vehicles from the ground up, while ‘GM and Ford are making basic cars and ‘gingerbreading’ them up to premium.”
Does he actually believe that? C’mon. No way. Really? But there is a certain… King Lear quality to his last quote.
“Press said Chrysler’s next generation of vehicles will demonstrate ‘what America could become if we could buy the time.'”
My kingdom for an Altima?
Wow, how much is Cerberus paying this guy? I Hope it’s enough for him to buy a new mirror to look into each morning.
Does Press know that the Sebring exists?
They get the big bucks because they are like pro poker players.
They can speak this stuff into the camera without cracking up.
What a complete load of elephant dung. I guess after telling yourself lies for so long you believe them along with your zombie followers. WOW.
My wife took one look at the then new Dodge Journey interior at the Detroit Auto Show last January, and commented something along the lines of rubbermaid and playskool…
Top of the line stuff, eh, Jim?
I can’t help but wonder if the ToMoCo execs read crap like this and think to themselves, “WTF were WE thinking for keeping this idiot around as long as we did!?!?”
Time for executive urinalysis testing?
“And let me tell you about our amazing Dodge Sprinter van, if Mercedes-Benz built a van, that’s what it would be.”
Assistant whispers in Jim’s ear.
“Oh, wait, strike that last part.”
So then if Mercedes Benz built a compact sedan, it would be a Sebring? Oh wait, it does, and it isn’t.
I nominate Press for the 2008 Lutzie.
If Mercedes-Benz built a pickup truck, that’s what it would be, said Press.”
Wow.
Mercedes, essentially, built the Sebring, Caliber, Compass, Patriot, Aspen and Avenger. Between those and their own stellar quality, I don’t think Merc is exactly the name to drop.
“Press said Chrysler’s next generation of vehicles will demonstrate ‘what America could become if we could buy the time.’”
I’m also starting to suspect that either Toyota made Jim Press look much, much better, or things at Chrysler are much, much worse than we know and Jim’s just been given a lot of money to fill space.
Or Chrysler’s going to somehow magically pull it’s ass from the fire for fourth or fifth time.
I am not sure of the dollar amount Chrysler lured Press away with from Toyota. It had to substantial. After reading his gibberish, I hope it was alot indeed.
What is really funny if you can find it is Tom Lasorda from a few years ago bragging about how he new all about auto design.
That was before he lead the way to the Caliber, Sebring and the rest of the unbelievably bad stuff they came out with.
I don’t mean to rain on the parade of trash talk, but the new Ram pickup IS excellent (it got 4 stars from you know who), and with its industry leading coil suspension, can credibly be characterized as both innovative and “premium… from the ground up.”
OK…back to slamming Sebrings and Aspens.
Jim Press made the top of Toyota Motor Sales in NA, essentially the Marketing arm of Toyota in the US. He is a very good marketer. No more, please.
He was hired for Chrysler on these talents. Not for Engineering, Finance or Janitorial duties. He is doing what he does best and should be accorded with due deference.
ermalm :
“[Press] should be accorded with due deference.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Why are we wasting time talking about a company whose coffin is being lowered into the ground as we speak?
The laugh of the day! ” If there’s one company in America that can build high-craftsmanship, innovative vehicles, it’s Chrysler “.
Tell that to my wife who slashed the top of her hand by simply reaching in to the glove box area in a rental Caliber….
If there’s one company in America that can build high-craftsmanship, innovative vehicles, it’s Chrysler
I want what this guy is smoking. Just think if that stuff makes Chrysler cars look like high craftmanship and innovative what would it make average looking boring women like, supermodels with a brain.
That one comment is going to win him the Lutzie award this year hands down. How could Bob say anything more delusional?
psarhjinian:
‘If Mercedes-Benz built a pickup truck, that’s what it would be, said Press.’
“Wow.
Mercedes, essentially, built the Sebring, Caliber, Compass, Patriot, Aspen and Avenger. Between those and their own stellar quality, I don’t think Merc is exactly the name to drop.”
Tru dat. But it’s not Dumblers actual record he is referring to but their reputation. You know, a car “built like no other” (excuse me while I hurl). In most (non automotively aware) peoples eyes, that’s what Mercedes is.
There is a difference between substantive marketing and pr messages and bald faced lies.
Jim sold his soul to the devil, err, Cerberus.
Welcome to the Bi-Polar world of Mopar.
Innovative, class leading designs like the Ram and Wrangler selling next to also ran crap like the Sebering and Compass.
I still think that Chrysler is small enough to be turned around with new management after going through a Ch11. Other companies have come back from worse (Harley)
In theory you could purchase a Sprinter chassis cab, add a upfitter stake or utility pickup body and slap three pointed Star on the grille and you’re good to go.
Jim Press, the Dick Cheney of the Auto world.
‘If there’s one company in America that can build high-craftsmanship, innovative vehicles, it’s Chrysler,’
I am reminded of those Simpson’s episodes where someone says something stupid in front of a crowd and there’s dead silence and then one little *cough* in the background. The Simpson’s does that so well.
How many trips did the company jet take to Amsterdam before they put it up for sale?
I realize these guys have to be cheerleaders, but they should at least balance that against being somewhat credible. I love the headline for this news item.
What’s wrong with a little puffery ? Anyone????
I think Chrysler has a chance of surviving if they take the approach of Honda, which picks its market segments carefully and still doesn’t compete in all segments. Chrysler could can a bunch of models and stick to those segments where it’s competitive: Jeep (minus the Compass and Commander, maybe add a Wrangler based pickup to give Chrysler a compact truck), Dodge trucks, Minivans and the LX RWD models.
BTW, Robert, did you see how Cerberus said that it’d be willing to put $2B from Chrysler Financial into the parent automaker?
It must be the Asian women that make him think like that.
Chrysler could can a bunch of models and stick to those segments where it’s competitive: Jeep (minus the Compass and Commander, maybe add a Wrangler based pickup to give Chrysler a compact truck), Dodge trucks, Minivans and the LX RWD models.
I’ll give you Jeep, minus Compass and Commander…and minus Liberty…basically, will you settle for Wrangler?
But that’s a niche market.
Outside BK, what do they do with all the dealers that won’t be needed to sell only Wranglers?
I truly feel sorry for this whole situation. First, I have a 2006 300C and it makes no trouble. I like most of the car. The bad news is that by now they should have freshened it and put a richer interior in. (give me a reason to trade) Finally, the 300C V8 should look different than the rent a car 300’s selling for $10,000 less. If only Mercedes could have persevered, I think the parnership could have worked, especially as said by another blogger, if chrysler were to be a niche marketer. For all the bad things about Daimler, I have their independent rear suspension and a very nice 5 speed auto from mercedes parts bin. How, they allowed this success to wither (300.s are down 40 some percent) and then went on to wallpaper the marketplace with enough bland underwhelming cars and suv’s to last a lifetime eludes me. Jeep should make wrangers and one or two good suv’s. Dodge should make good pickup trucks. Chrysler needs to make better mini vans and a nice line of sedans in the middle class ($25-40K). If each of these products sold well in it’s niche they would be profitable. Unfortunately, with nothing in the pipeline and myriads of worthless me too stuff out there, I don’t think they have time to restructure.
As Toyota said at the time “We’re pleased he’s found employment at one of our competitors”.
(Or words to that equally subtle effect).
Redbarchetta :
“I want what this guy is smoking.”
Big stacks of Benjamins, he probably wipes with them too. Who wouldn’t want that?