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The next-gen Cayenne gets caught without camo by Autoexpress. So, on a scale of zero to 16 million, just how spicy is the new peppery Porsche? Our equipment is rating it somewhere between “Pimento” and “Poblano.”
31 Comments on “What’s Wrong With This Picture: Scoville Scale Edition...”
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Over here I’d rate it between “leftover pancakes” and “tepid cola”.
Yawn.
It’ll be more interesting to see what this thing weighs on the actual scale. I think the current generation Cayenne measures out at sixteen billion – metric tonnes.
Well it is a rabidly ugly station wagon with a now more gaping flying vagina grill, but it is a Subaru….oh wait.
A major improvement over the current Cayenne, if still not attractive.
Weird. Not that the original is sexy, but this seems even weirder to me.
I wonder how ugly the apparently now obligatory LED eyelashes will be.
I’m still acclimating to the Panamera.
Oh, on the Scoville scale, the looks are still a Poblano.
Poblano? More like bell pepper. Hungarian wax pepper at the most.
Still ugly. If it was a Hyundai instead of a Porsche people would tear it apart.
As best I can tell from the comments so far, the B&B are tearing the Cayenne apart, at least WRT appearance.
Scotch Bonnet! I need more scotch to appreciate that bonnet.
Brilliant!
Better looking but less distinctive. The Audi LED’s are played out already.
Poor Porsche, trying like hell to drag a classic design language into the future with crap like this
I’m with ash78. And Chuck. And Michael Karesh.
If this were, say, a Toyota, or a Subaru, I’d say, “OK, then.”
Easy. It’s a Porsche SUV. Hard to get more wrong than that…hopefully Ferrari won’t prove me wrong.
Oakyed for kids lunch-box Scoville.
And you know…. Grande Scoville would be a purdy good name for a SUV.
And yet again, Infiniti FX sets the standard for others to follow.
The only pepper in that picture is the leftover PF Chang’s mashed into the carpeting by the toddlers in the back seat. A hundred large, 400 hp, and some of the world’s most advanced off-road gadgetry – all to do a minivan’s day’s work at the mall. Shameful.
It’s not for you. It’s for the Porsche-driving customers who would hAve needed extRa room And Bought Ford ExplorerS. Or that’s what they told us.
That front end looks like hell. Perhaps it will look better in person. The Panamera looks better in the flesh and the back end doesn’t appear as bulbous on the street.
The Scoville scale goes to 16 million, not billion.
Sorry; I forgot to introduce myself. I’m a nerd.
Agreed. Though, one need not be a nerd when that information was readily available in the linked article.
What’s up with those light bars? Gack.
Like any car in white doesn’t look like a bar of soap? Here it has whipped cream on top.
Let me try to say something nice: Don’t knock it if it makes money?
Love it or hate it, volume models keep the company solvent – so it can keep selling 911s to the few who want them.
In 2008 the Cayenne outsold every other model. It almost outsold everything else combined.
Porsche almost went broke for the brief period of time it relied on the 911 to make money.
The looks may be Poblano, but the Turbo S performance is closer to Bhut Jolokia. Drop some cubic dollars with the right tuner and it’s Tepin.
Fine, Porsche needed to sell its soul to pay the bills, but does it have to look so ugly?
It looks as good as SUVs ever look — not very.
Can an already ugly vehicle get uglier? YES!
The Cayenne is not a vehicle worthy of the Porsche name. Leave it as a VW Touareg and move on.
Twotone
Pretty ugly.
Dean Wormer: “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”
+1 porschespeed
I don’t like the Cayenne, never have, but if it makes the company financially viable and some yahoos out there are willing to buy them then that’s better than losing a legendary motorsport brand due to hard economic times. Even without the Cayenne what better options exist? Build more 911s and dilute the brand? Raise the price on 911s so that only the upper crust of the upper crust can afford them?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necessary_Evil
Cayman seems like a step in the right direction, Pawnamerica? TBD.