Thank God it’s the weekend-edition of While America Slept. That’s pretty much all we have reason to be thankful for. WAS is a daily round-up of the news that happened in other continents and time-zones. TTAC provides round-the-clock coverage of everything that has wheels. Or that has its wheels coming off. If you hate bad news, don’t tread it.

Japanese car market commits seppuku: Japanese domestic new car sales are likely to drop by around one-third in November, “raising the odds that the full-year tally will be the lowest since 1974,” writes The Nikkei (sub.) Folks, Japan has it worse than back home, so cheer up! Full-year sales of all types of cars, including mini vehicles, are forecast at around 5.1 million units — the lowest total in 28 years. Japan gave up its rank as the world’s second largest auto market to China in 2007, but remained the world’s second largest producing nation. It is expected to relinquish that rank also to China in 2008. That spells major itai (pain) for Nippon. Soon they’ll complain about exporting all those jobs to gaijin America.

It’s all in the brand: To add insult to injury, China’s Guangzhou Automobile Industry Group (GAIG) announced that its two subsidiaries “Guangzhou Toyota” and “Guangzhou Honda” will be renamed as “GAIG Toyota” and “GAIG Honda.” Harmless so far. Here comes the unusual part: Toyota and Honda will be required to pay for the honor of carrying the GAIG trademark, Gasgoo reports. It used to be the other way. The two brands will be sold through one “GAIG” sales channel. GAIG’s chairman Zhang Fangyou said his focus will “shift to brand marketing.” Of the GAIG brand.

GM says bondage no fun: GM is trying to talk their debt holders into exchanging bonds for stock, the WSJ (sub) says. That would help GM avoid C11. The proposal, along with the daring assumption that doubtful investors will accept it, will make its way into the business plan due in DC on Tuesday.

GM BOD to sacrifice Wagoner? The WSJ (sub) also picked up indications from GM’s BOD that the directors may be increasingly inclined to serve Wagoner’s head on a platter to mollify the angry gods of the Beltway. More than one-fourth of the automaker’s 14 directors have already privately expressed frustration with Wagoner, the WSJ says. COO Fritz Henderson is being floated as a successor.

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As Farago wrote, the Caravan of Love broke down before it even left Motown. Supposedly, it went virtual, and took the information superhighway instead of routes 76 and 70 as even the most half-witted GPS would recommend. Jeez, they can’t even do what a 3 year old can do in 10 minutes: Build a website. TheEngineOfDemocracy.com displays the dreaded “Our site is currently under construction.” It promises:  “We will be back online Monday, December 1st as promised.” What do they mean with “back?” Where they ever on-line before?

And then, that logo: I bet, trademark lawyers in Wolfsburg are right this minute arguing with Volkswagen top management: “We recommend sending a cease and desist. They are diluting our Autostadt mark.” “It might not be politically expedient. They’ll say we hate them.”  “If you don’t send the letter, we may lose our mark.”  Anyway, the thing on the site looks terribly like Volkswagen’s Autostadt logo. The Autostadt logo looks back at a long line of German Heritage: It was purloined from Volkswagen’s New Beetle, which was inspired by the old VW Bug, which was ordered by old Adolf himself. But at least: It was all in the family. The Engine Of Democracy: In the ass, and cooled by hot air?

How was your Thanksgiving? Get ready for turkey sandwiches, turkey soup and a dose of turkey news from all over the world. While America Slept (WAS) is a daily round-up of the news that happened in other continents and time-zones. TTAC provides round-the-clock coverage of everything that has wheels. And that has its wheels coming off. Soup to nuts, all the news that would be unfit to eat on an empty stomach.

Indian market blows up. The emerging Indian auto industry hasn’t quite emerged yet. Now, it’s getting it in the shins, big-time. After Toyota’s debt rating was cut, “Indian automobile stocks were lower tracking the fall in Asian peers,” the India Times has it. “Due to lower demand, automobile companies have been forced to shut down plants.” Now, shell-shocked investors take their money and go home. “The attacks in Mumbai could accelerate the trend,” the Nikkei (sub) writes, citing Mitsushige Akino of Ichiyoshi Investment who said: “Worldwide economic downturns have historically triggered wars and political instability.” Not what they call an investor-friendly environment. The Mumbai attack is already called “India’s 9/11.” Say ta-ta to Tata for a while. Internationals have advised expats to keep indoors, or better, get out.

Hyundai declares war on Nissan: Speaking of wars, “Hyundai has made its 2009 Accent the cheapest new car on sale in America by lopping $1,100 from its MSRP, so the numbers on the screen now read $9,970“ the LA Times reports. That’s a price-war to the tune of $20 less than the $9,990 Nissan Versa 1.6 – but every penny counts these days. Wars have erupted about less. Considerable fine print applies. Check with your dealer, or the LA Times for details.

Wagoner squeezes Forster, Forster squeezes Opel: GM Europe must wants to save $750m in labor costs at Opel. Forster sent a letter to all workers and announced less work, less pay. Opel’s union boss Klaus Franz signaled to Forster to insert letter in pipe and smoke it. Or choose other dark cavities.  According to Automobilwoche (sub,) Franz asked six questions from Forster, the most salient being “what are your plans to protect the European business from an insolvency of GM?” Franz doesn’t expect any answers. The cosmopolitical Franz even paraphrases Nancy Pelosi: “If you don’t show us the plans, we won’t show you the money.” Wait, it’s getting worse …

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According to Bloomberg, who has it from people supposedly familiar with the matter, GM “is studying whether to shed its Saturn, Saab and Pontiac brands in addition to Hummer.”

So assuming that they do:  Will they just dump the brands? As in throw them away? Or will they sell them? If the latter, who do you think will be the successful bidder?

Euro NCAP crashed 12 cars, and caused surprisingly little damage. Eight out of the 12 demolished vehicles received the coveted 5 star rating. Mercedes Viano and Ford Ka have four stars, the Dacia Sandero has three. The Ford Ranger limped out of the testing lab with only 2 stars: Bad boy! Results can be found here.

Next year, Euro NCAP will use a new, more stringent method. Cars without ESP won’t stand a chance to receive 5 stars. Seats will receive special attention. As a warning to manufacturers, Euro NCAP published results of its rear impact (whiplash) test which hadn’t been part of this year’s star ratings. It will be next year. Automakers better get off their duffs and start working on those seats now. Only 4 out of 25 received good marks. The rest are marginal or poor. Results here. Doing nothing will result in major demotions next year.

As gas is down, the behemoths roar back.

Brussels just ratcheted up the thumbscrews they placed on Berlin: “Either drop that VW-Gesetz now, or we’ll see you in Europe’s High Court. You’ve go two months.” Automobilwoche (sub) has the story in German. In case you don’t know: The VW-Gesetz (VW-law) was written to give the state of Lower Saxony veto power. Lower Saxony holds 20.1 percent of Volkswagen. According to German law, a minority shareholder must have 25 percent to exercise veto power. Lower Saxony didn’t want to spend the extra money for the extra shares. A law was passed instead. For a long time, this law was seen as a weapon to ward off foreign raiders and other riff-raff: Who wants to take over a company they can’t boss around? Now, the law bothers two parties:

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Will Daimler and BMW be Germany’s Ford and GM? Germany is worried about its two prides and joys: “Some senior executives already question whether Daimler and BMW will survive the crisis as independent companies,” writes Der Spiegel, translation via Business Week. “And close examination reveals that both companies have significant Achilles heels.”

“The biggest risk for BMW stems from its successes in recent years,” writes Der Spiegel. “BMW has almost doubled its car sales since 1999, and since 2007 the Bavarian carmaker has been the world’s top seller in the premium class.” Now, BMW sits on $25b of car loans and leases, backed by cars with increasingly dubious residual value.

Second risk for BMW: Customers, shame on them, buy the wrong cars. Instead of buying big bore 7 and 5-Series Beemers, as they should, customers suddenly insist on smaller models and lesser engines. BMW’s Munich-based engine factory is caught unprepared. “We are producing the wrong engines,” says Manfred Schoch, the chairman of BMW’s works council. Eight-bangers, even six-cylinder engines are piling up unsold. Daimler is even more distressed.

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Good morning! Lots of turkey ahead for you. The rest of the world has already provided its share of turkeys. While America Slept (WAS) is a daily round-up of the news that happened in other continents and time-zones. TTAC provides round-the-clock coverage of everything that has wheels. Gobble up the news! Maybe not on an empty stomach.

No EU auto bailout. The EU has released details of its stimulus plan. It’s a yawner. $257b, that’s all? Wait, there’s less: Brussels announced the plan, then told its 27 members: “You pay for it.” We predicted it, and Stratfor (sub) agrees: “It seems that no member state will bail out any other member state.” Also as predicted repeatedly by TTAC, not a word on EU auto bailouts. You’re on your own! You’re on your own!

Les Miserable: The same day, France’s Prez Sarkozy said he would announce a “rather massive” plan in the coming days to support French automobile and building industries. His plan will also help dealers and subcontractors. AP has the story. With so many recipients, the pickins will be slim. Sarkozy announced the plan after talking to Germany’s Angela Merkel. Expect some kind of plan from Angela as well. As in: “Europe: Buy German.”

No money under Opel’s Christmas tree. The German government asked Opel to provide hard data on why Opel needs money and how much. Opel returned devoid of data. “We had to send them back home” said a grumpy German government source to Die Welt. No data, no money. German observers smell two rats. Rat #1: Opel doesn’t have the data. Rat #2 : The data are so bad that Opel doesn’t want to show them. What smell you? And there’s more bad news ahead …

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While the Detroit 2.5 are busy writing plans, maybe they should take a page out of the competition’s playbook. Or maybe not, if they want to keep their jobs. Kim Jong-eun, has been CEO of Hyundai North America since December 2007. “Has been” is the operative word. He’s gone after having been on the job for less than a year. North America accounts for a fifth of Hyundai’s global sales, and Hyundai is the world’s fifth largest auto maker. They want to change both. They are now looking for a local, Reuters reports. The way things stand in Detroit, there should not be a shortage of possible applicants. Or maybe, there is. The job is hazardous. Kim was the third chief executive for Hyundai North America to be fired in two years. The Koreans seem to have a low tolerance for fools failure.

Dark clouds over the land of the rising sun. Japan Inc is deeply involved in the atrophy formerly known as the U.S. auto market. Two of what was known as the “Big Five” are Japanese: Toyota and Honda. Over the past 10 years, Toyota and Honda had been steadily taking market share from Detroit. Now, Detroit is in trouble. So is Tokyo, due to its inordinate exposure to the US auto market. Klaxons are sounding in Nippon. “Although their situations are not as dire as those harrying the top three U.S. automakers, major Japanese carmakers are rushing to review their operations and revise business plans in the face of quickly deteriorating auto sales worldwide,” writes the Nikkei (sub) today.

A side effect of Toyota’s race to become the world’s largest auto maker was that ToMoCo built more factories than some other companies built cars. Toyota’s production capacity rose by half a million annually since 2000. In North America, Toyota used to earn half of its worldwide profits. The crash in the US hit them real hard. Sales in Japan and Europe have also been decreasing faster than the firm can adjust production levels. To not end up like the formerly Big 3, Toyota has to act fast. A committee headed by President Katsuaki Watanabe is busy cutting costs and improving earnings in a stormy environment. What about Honda?

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More news coming in from Porsche’s annual numbers press conference. Due to the worldwide recession, our TTAC correspondent in Stuttgart has to moonlight as a security guard at the event, but whatever works.  We already announced this morning that Wendy Wiedeking said that “it is becoming increasingly unlikely” (translation: don’t even think it) that Porsche will go for 50 percent this year. Porsche holds 42.6 percent of the common stock of Volkswagen. They also own 31.5 percent of VW in options, but derivatives don’t count in the boardroom. “Wiedeking says their goal is still to build up to a majority of 75 percent in 2009,” our correspondent whispers into his lapel mike.  But there are “too many uncertainties.”  (Not to mention the VW-law, that makes owning 75 percent utterly wasteful.) Therefore, Wiedeking punts, much to the chagrin of our reporter-cum-rent-a-cop: “Wendy just said there is no telling how many moves will have to be made until the game is over.” He just said that. Wendy thinks, taking over the world’s third largest automaker, Volkswagen, he calls that a game? Where’s the outrage? “What game? Monopoly? Chess? Pick-up sticks?” Wendy won’t say. Maybe later, in the Q&A. Wait, there is more …

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Better go back to bed. It’s safer in there. Lot’s of bad news awaiting you. While America Slept (WAS) is a daily round-up of the news that happened in other continents and time-zones. TTAC provides round-the-clock coverage of everything that has wheels. Or that has its wheels coming off. Are you really ready for this? Then read on.

Porsche: We told you so. Autohaus somehow got ahold of Wendelin Wiedeking’s notes for today’s “Bilanzpressekonferenz.” And as predicted, Wiedeking will say that Porsche will take it easy with VW’s takeover. They won’t even go for 50 percent yet. “Given the current economic circumstances, it is becoming increasingly unlikely that we will reach that target in the current calendar year.” More as it develops. There still is (faint) hope. What does it say on the manuscript? “Es gilt das gesprochene Wort.” (Check against delivery.) Always a good idea in the car business.

Nipponese go-slows: Mazda will suspend operations at Hofu No. 1 and No. 2 plants in Japan’s Yamaguchi Prefecture, western Japan on Dec. 25 and 26. Toyota Motor Corp. has decided to slash production 20 percent at its French factory from January through March, following similar moves in the U.S., Britain and Turkey. Suzuki will increase its production capacity for scooters and motorcycles in India by 47 percent to meet rising demand. Mitsubishi will build forklifts in China. All sources Nikkei (sub).

Limeys go for the green: The U.K. auto industry (what U.K. auto industry?) welcomes the government’s attempts to boost consumer spending by reducing a sales tax, but says it needs urgent help to overcome the cash flow problems created by the credit crunch. The society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders will meet Secretary of State for Business Peter Mandelson Thursday for an intensive begging session, CNN reports. You think that’s bad? Try Spain ….

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“Tax payers can’t be expected to pony up more money for an auto industry that is resistant to change.” Doesn’t want to be kicking the can further down the road either.

The “bank with a subsidiary that makes cars,” a.k.a. Porsche, had to stop production in their car subsidiary Zuffenhausen for a day. There is less demand for the 911s. The hedge funds strike back and go on buyer strike. Until end of January, 7 additional no-work days are planned, Das Autohaus learned.

2,500  workers are affected. 1,280 fewer 911s will be built. Tomorrow, at the press conference, Porsche will most likely announce that in their 2008/2009 fiscal, they will not reach the 98,652 cars built in the previous fiscal year.