When I’m not busy boning-up on Mustangology on Autoblog (c’mon guys it’s been TWO DAYS!) I sometimes trace-back links to TTAC material. Today’s forensic surfing uncovered this little gem on MarketWatch. It’s a financial results press release from a company called CableOrganizer.com, claiming that they made “$21.2 billion more in profit than General Motors Corporation (GM) for the nine months ending September 30, 2008.” Yup, it’s a joke. “‘We are very pleased about our 2008 profitability and are obviously honored to have beaten GM by such a wide margin,’ said Paul Holstein, senior vice president of CableOrganizer.com, Inc. ‘Obviously we couldn’t match their revenue, but we were able to beat them handily on costs and expenses,’ notes Holstein. ‘For example, we put off buying a fleet of Gulfstream G5 private jets. That, right there, saved us millions of dollars.’ I called the company’s Marketing Coordinator, Juan Ribero. He was kind enough to send me the original press release, before MarketWatch’s editors toned it down.

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If FoMoCo CEO Alan Mulally is disembarking The Blue Oval corporate jet and entering a Lexus, that’s one Big Ass story. It’s summer in the video (and our hearts), and the graphic says 2008. That’s long enough for Big Al to have ditched his Lexus and hooked-up with something domestic. Lincoln MKZHRG? Volvo S80? [While TTAC has long argued that Motown execs should drive their competitors’ products, Big Al ain’t driving here. And if it is a Lexus sedan, methinks Mr. M knew the transplant brand well enough by then.] Eddy and I aren’t sure. The headlight shape doesn’t look Ford like, but the wheels don’t look Lexian. Ed’s thinking maybe it’s a Cadillac DTS. I’m calling ABC News to try and get the video sans graphic. Meanwhile, help!

I waited until now to repost this ABC report on “Jet-gate” because I wanted to put this story into some sort of context. While members of TTAC’s Best and Brightest have defended the CEO’s travel arrangements as either a drop in the bucket or CEO SOP, that’s not the kind of context I’m talking about. I mean the wider issue of the mainstream media’s (MSM) treatment of the auto industry. The change in tenor is palpable. Before the Congressional hearings, the MSM treated the automakers with kid gloves. And no wonder. Back in the day (less than six months ago), GM pumped over $2b into advertising. Add in the budgets for Chrysler and Ford and you can see how that whole hand, feed, bite prevention thing works. Now that The Big 2.8 have been unveiled as mortally wounded, the gloves are off. For some. Is it any coincidence that the jet chasing reporter hails from ABC, not CBS? I don’t think so. Where was Rush and Sean when this story was aborning? Driving promo cars from “our friends at GM” and slipping mentions into their rants. So be it. These days, the MSM “gets it”– if only because they can afford to do so. More importantly, there’s the internet. Not only can you read the real deal here on TTAC, but there’s now a worldwide webwise conspiracy of souls digging, prodding and rooting for the truth. We live in terrible, wonderful times.

Channel stuffing means forcing dealers to take more cars than they can sell, or making the vehicles and parking them somewhere or other. It’s an art that was perfected by DaimlerChrysler just prior to the automaker’s assumption by Cerberus Capital (a company more than a little familiar with the dark arts of dark arts.) The upside: the company books a vehicle as “sold” once it does an Elvis (i.e. leaves the building). The downside: there’s always a reckoning. One of our spies tells us that GM can’t cut production fast enough; new units are beginning to pile up here, there and everywhere. (Confirmation to robert.farago@thetruthaboutcars.com.) Meanwhile, one of our friendly GM store owners tells us that The General’s about to launch a new dealer incentive program. The new deal will encourage dealers to, as he puts it, “order unneeded and unwanted inventory.” “We’re talking about two to three thousand dollars in extra stackable rebates,” the mole reveals. “Depending on how much gas [new units] you take.” This does not please our guy on the front lines a bit. No sir. “It’s just great,” he kvetched with a dollop of sarcasm. “Unfair and unequal pricing to force franchisees into paying dangerously high floorplans.” Translation? “If you manage your units in a reasonable and sensible way, you are unable to compete on price.” Just another indication that this ain’t no party. [thanks to you know who you are X3]

Re “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt” (Op-Ed, Nov. 19):

I noticed the Boston dateline on Mitt Romney’s article advocating bankruptcy for Detroit’s auto industry. From his New England home, Mr. Romney may not realize how much the industry has changed since 1969, when his father, George W. Romney, left Michigan to become housing and urban development secretary.

Nearly every recommendation Mitt Romney makes for United States automakers has already been undertaken by current management in Detroit. Automakers have been investing in the future on the order of $12 billion a year in research and development — second only to the semiconductor industry.

In addition, General Motors has cut $9 billion in structural costs since 2005 and last year reached a landmark agreement to transfer the delivery of health care to the United Auto Workers union.

Finally, it is inappropriate of Mr. Romney to invoke Walter Reuther’s name while advocating using bankruptcy to break union contracts. That reference may be overlooked in Boston but surely not in Detroit.

Steve Harris
Vice President
Global Communications
General Motors
Detroit, Nov. 20, 2008

Just hours after Washington legislators told Rick Wagoner to come-up with a more compelling case for bailout billions, GM’s CEO assured The Detroit News that he’s ready to submit his new new new new new turnaround plan. “We’ve got the plans and are ready to go,” Wagoner told the hometown paper. “We’re not starting from ground zero here.” A rather unfortunate metaphor, and a less than compelling assertion. After all, if Red Ink Rick was ready to rock and roll, why wasn’t he a bit more, uh, forthcoming at the Senate hearing? [Needless to say, the DetN was not impolite enough to pop that particular question, simply stating that “He did not offer any details on what GM’s plan might entail.”] Meanwhile, displaying characteristic sympathy for the working man, Wagoner said that the delay caused by the Congressional recall “will be a bit nerve-wracking for us… But it’s the reality we face.” Note to Rick: it’s the reality you don’t face that kills you. More interestingly, it appears that the CEO’s anti-C11 rhetoric has softened slightly. Not. “Why would you take that risk at a time the economy is teetering on the brink. We need to do everything we can to get the business structured to get through a tough time and onto the future.” I think Mr. Wagoner just answered his own question.

These are stressful times for Detroit. All that Motown’s mavens held dear is dead or dying. The shock is equally brutal for the town’s cheerleaders, whose teams have all been routed and now, publicly humiliated. Automotive News’ [sub] Edward Lapham has snapped. The Executive Editor has penned a column that sounds not a small amount like a suicide note: “See! See what you’ve made me do! Well, I’ve done it. I’ve killed myself. NOW how do you like it?” To wit: “Those of us who want the Detroit 3 to avoid bankruptcy need to think outside the box. I hate to admit it, but there’s some hidden wisdom among the silly things said by politicos and others who don’t understand the auto industry. No, not all the talk about letting General Motors, Ford and Chrysler use Chapter 11 as a kind of boot camp to whip themselves into shape; that’s just too asinine to consider. I mean the admonishments to be more like Toyota, Nissan and Honda. Think about it. Now that the Detroit 3 have narrowed the gaps in productivity, quality and labor costs, the transplants have one obvious advantage: Their headquarters, engineering staffs and main product development operations are all overseas. To them, America is a colony. So GM, Ford and Chrysler ought to move. Great! That’s settled. Now the only question is: Where should they go?” Some outside observers who’ve listened to the domestics’ camp followers unseemly combination of whining and bullying– as expressed here– might suggest some place consistently hot. But I couldn’t possibly comment.

What does “fuelled by CBS” mean to you? In this case, it’s the Automotive Broadcasting Network, run by the good folks who bring you the Nightly News. OK, not exactly the same folks. (“I didn’t go to J School to tell people to put nitrogen in their tires!”) But CBS anchor Katie Couric’s happy to lend her face, name and voice to the cause, as you can see if you [dare] click on this dealer-enticing video presentation, introed by the divine Miss C herself. For those of you with a weak constitution (especially the bit about freedom of the press), consider: “ABN™ and CBS™ will revolutionize the experience your customers have at your dealership by delivering high quality, custom programming.” As one of TTAC’s resident pedants, I’d like to point out that the term “broadcasting” does not apply here. At all. In any way, shape or form. As someone who remembers the legacy of Edward R. Murrow (no, not the interview with Marilyn Monroe), this 24-7 pimpatorial channel is a complete and utter betrayal of CBS’ hallowed history of perptuating liberal cant. I mean, upholding the highest standards of journalistic ethics. And it sure makes me wonder about CBS’ coverage of the auto industry.

MSNBC is reporting that auto-state senators’ aides say they’ve reached a compromise to throw money at “speed emergency loans” to Chrysler, Ford and GM. And speed is the drug of choice here. After The Big 2.8’s CEO shot themselves in their collective feet in front of a Senate committee charged with rubber-stamping the $25b deal, Republicans and Democrats knocked some heads together. The peacock people say the as-yet-unnamed legislators plan to present their proposal at a mid-afternoon news conference today (Thursday). The plan: the president’s plan. The bi-polar, I mean partisan, I mean bi-partisan group will attempt to “divert” money from the already approved $25b Department of Energy Loans– to tide Detroit over until the incoming prez can do his part to subsidize the failing automakers with taxpayer funds. But folks, as this Bailout Watch originally postulated, this is NOT a done deal. Far, far, from it. And I’ll tell you why…

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The cynical amongst you will see this as a direct rebuke to Detroit: a shot across the bow of the Big 2.8 execs who sat in front of America’s duly elected representatives and refused [almost] point-blank to take a pay cut, whilst asking for a $25b federal “bridging loan.” And so it is. But anyone who thinks Toyota is trying to make Motown look bad– a pursuit in which they need no special assistance– doesn’t have a grasp on the “Toyota Way.” Even before this auto sales meltdown, the Japanese automaker’s top ten execs earned less money COMBINED than Ford’s Alan Mulally, Chrysler’s Bob Nardelli and GM’s Rick Wagoner (individually). In fact ALL of Toyota’s execs together earned 3.92b yen. That’s $40.5m. And now Yomuiri reports “Toyota Motor Corp. will consider cutting the pay of its directors in fiscal 2009, it was learned Wednesday. The aim of the nation’s top automaker is to clarify the executives’ management responsibility after the company announced last week that it expected a 73.6 percent dive in group operating profit for fiscal 2008, due to sluggish new car sales resulting from the global economic downturn. Toyota also expects reducing the remuneration of its directors to set an example as the company prepares to embark on thorough cost-cutting.”

OK, that headline’s a bit, uh, controversial. But the new Cayman/Boxster revealed at the LA Auto Show is the beginning of the end of the 911. And why not? The “entry level” Boxster is, fundamentally, a better car than the 911. Well duh: mid-engined vs. ass engined. Porsche realized this, uh, discrepancy from the beginning, and hamstrung the Boxster’s powerplant– until the introduction of the “Why the Hell is this More Expensive than the Convertible?” Cayman. By slotting in a 3.4-liter six amidships. the Sultans of Stuttgart finally pumped-up the volume on both the Boxster AND the Cayman. And now, amazingly, they’ve done the right thing. TTAC commentator and new contributor 993C4S reports that “Porsche’s 911 Carrera can hit zero to sixty in under 5 seconds. Well guess what, so can it’s baby brother, the new Cayman S (so long as it’s equipped with PDK and optional Sports Chrono Package). Here’s the skinny…

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