Well, obviously. But it should be remembered– as CNNMoney does– that the new Chevrolet Malibu was supposed to mark the dawn of a new era. The General promised that it would end its reliance on residual-killing stack ’em high and sell ’em cheap fleet sales. So much for that then. “When launching the car last fall, GM said its goal for the Malibu was to sell no more than 20% to rental car companies, down from 40% for the old models. But the auto maker said Wednesday that of 19,725 Malibus sold last month, 10, 462, or 53%, were sold to fleets. Fleet sales include those to rental car companies, along with government and corporate fleets.” Other candidates: Pontiac G5 (+27 percent), Vibe (+91 percent), HHR (14.4 percent) and Vue (+9.7). And so on. In fact, except for (but maybe not) the Lambda-based crossovers, there isn’t a single GM model that gained ground in September that doesn’t seem like a fleet queen. “During the month, sales of vehicles to fleet customers jumped 17% compared to September 2007, while retail sales dropped 26%.”

Well, if THAT doesn’t inspire your inner snark, nothing will. Brandweek reports that the HUMMER FOR SALE brand is proceeding with its launch plans for the new H3T with a new TV ad that hit the waves (cable? fiber? net?) last night. The ad by “Creative, via Modernista, Boston, shows a group of buff young men driving an H3T across a mountain range onto a rocky beach where they unload a motorcycle, a surfboard, a hang glider and fishing gear. The spot reveals all of them using the gear for outdoor activities. It uses the same tag, ‘Welcome to the Open,’ which was introduced by Hummer in May for the H3 campaign and for the whole brand” Yeah, that’ll work. ‘Cause gay men love HUMMER. No, wait. That’s not it. “The H3T buyer tends to be more active as well as more family oriented,” according to Hummer rep Nick Richards. “The buyer is looking for even more room than an H3 provides.” And that ain’t sayin’ much. Richards reckons that HUMMER counterparts, including the Dodge Ram and the Ford F-150, give the H3T a “fresh in the market” appeal. Whatever that means.

Roof Strength Standard~Statement from U.S. Transportation Secretary Mary E. Peters

“As stewards of the nation’s transportation system, we take our safety responsibilities seriously, and it is incumbent on us to develop new regulations that optimize safety.  We must ensure that any final rules we issue are as successful as possible. Accordingly, we have informed Congress today that we need more time to complete a new roof strength standard that effectively protects motorists.”

Well, GM’s Employee Pricing for Everyone (except for GM workers in Michigan) deal is done. Whether or not the offers “pulled forward” sales that will make the winter look as bleak as Milton Keynes [UK] on a wet Tuesday afternoon is anyone’s guess. The impact of the GM’s ongoing cash-on-hoodlumism on its cash flow and brand equity is equally unquantifiable (though no prizes for guessing that one). But one thing we do know: GM’s replacing the Employee Pricing sale with zero percent financing on select models until 2020. I kid. It’s only six years (2014). “The longest loans are available on large sport-utility vehicles such as the GMC Yukon and Chevrolet Suburban, as well as the Pontiac Grand Prix sedan,”  GM spokesman John McDonald told Bloomberg. “Alternatively, GM is offering up to $7,000 cash on some vehicles.” TTAC will report the full list of what’s what ASAP. Meanwhile, we suspect that the zero percent finance deals will require sterling credit, an FBI background check, a urine test, an oral examination and a home visit. But this will not be the focus of the ad campaigns. Obviously.

“Support the Emergency Economic Stabilization Package
We need to protect the U.S. economy and American jobs.

• The problems in the credit markets affect everyone, not just investment banks and big global financial institutions.
• Every day trillions of dollars flow in a circle of credit among small banks, credit unions, regional banks, and large firms.
• If a small town bank cannot borrow funds in the overnight interbank market—say to meet its reserve requirements—it could be forced to call in loans or deny new credit, such as car loans, mortgages, and student loans.
• If millions of Americans suddenly cannot get loans for cars, home improvements or new appliances, business that produce these goods and services will be forced to cut back and lay off workers.
• These layoffs would quickly boomerang throughout the whole U.S. economy, leading to ever bigger rounds of layoffs.
We need to protect the life savings of millions of American workers.
• Nearly 66 million Americans have 401k plans with their retirement savings. The most recent Department of Labor data show that these 401k plans have assets of $2.4 trillion. And Americans hold nearly $20 trillion in equities altogether.
• Almost 2/3rd of 401(k) assets are invested in stocks, with hundreds of billions of dollars of IRA assets held in banks and thrifts.
• The gathering financial crisis undermines confidence in the U.S. financial system and in the U.S. economy.
• The delay in passage of a financial rescue package has contributed to the sharp plunge in the stock markets we are seeing both in the U.S. and around the world.
• Yesterday (September 29th) alone, the Dow fell by 777 points, the largest one day drop in history. In this single day more than $1.1 trillion in U.S. equity wealth was wiped out—from 401k plans and investment accounts both large and small. This loss of wealth was half again larger than the proposed rescue package.
• Congressional action is needed to restore confidence to the financial markets, stop the panic selling of stocks, and allow normalcy to return to valuations.
We need to heed the lessons of history.
• One of the most important lessons in economic history, from the Great Depression, is that a banking and liquidity crisis can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
• When financial institutions large and small do not have confidence that their deals will be honored, they hunker down and reduce their loans. The result is lost sales, cancelled orders, and foregone consumption.
• The economic rot can spread quickly if it is not addressed by policymakers, especially if panic sets in as appears to be the case now.
• Job losses can cumulate quickly. People may forget that during the Great Depression the unemployment rate hit nearly 25%.
• We simply cannot repeat the mistakes of that era, especially now that we know how that story ended.”

And there I was thinking America runs on Dunkin’.

TTAC called this one a while back, when we asked why GM was willing to supply “Mr. Volume” with cars when it was clear to anyone who ever had any dealings with his auto group that Bill Heard was the head of a vast criminal enterprise. Now that Big Bill has been knocked down to size, a bit, formerly silent observers are coming out from behind cover to give GM a right royal pasting. Writing in Automotive News [AN, sub], industry editor James B. Treece is [now] happy to point the fickle finger of blame. “What we do know is that GM was happy to cozy up to Bill Heard when the metal was moving. In 2004, GM gave Heard a Dealer of the Year award and the Jack Smith Leadership Award. The Smith award recognizes dealers who have attained the highest levels of sales and customer satisfaction in their region. Today, though, GM is singing a different tune.” Talk about sour notes… “It’s just individual people owning individual businesses, and it’s separate from the General Motors name,” GM spokeswoman Susan Garontakos told AN. “What happens at what dealership never reflects on the entire network.” You’re shitting me right? Treece goes in for the kill. “If that’s true, then why does GM bother tracking CSI scores, and supposedly rewarding dealers with the better scores? If a bad dealer doesn’t reflect on the network, then neither does a good one. It doesn’t matter.” Indeed it doesn’t.

Automotive News [sub] reports that Ford’s U.S. sales dropped by 34 percent in September. Metal moved: 120,788 cars and trucks, down from 184,612 a year ago. For those of you keeping score, that’s FoMoCo’s 22nd decline in the past 23 months. “Consumers and businesses are in a very fragile place,” Jim Farley, Ford group vice president of marketing and communications, said in a touchy-feely prepared statement. “An already weak economy compounded by very tight credit conditions has created an atmosphere of caution.” Caution? What about crisis? Well, you can’t very well expect the spinmeisters to spread the panic inside The Glass House. You can certainly bet they’re watching the bailout bill with eagle eyes, hoping to Christ the bill takes over bad auto loans and frees-up the credit market.

The Newspaper steps up to the platform and says, “You must be joking son, haven’t we paid our dues?” (Steely Dan fans need apply). In other words, Maryland, Tennessee and Missouri are all contemplating adding highway speed cameras to their revenue generating highway safety schemes. “Officials from Maryland, Missouri and Tennessee joined Illinois Governor Rod R. Blagojevich (D) at a two-day event designed to promote the use of speed cameras on freeways throughout the country.” Although the Newspaper doesn’t tell us any more about this highway hoedown (‘ho down?), it does give us a heads-up on Illinois’ entirely predictable plan to extend speed cameras from their current construction work sites to the rest of the state’s highway network. The good news? The Newspaper reminds us that democracy knocked-down Connectitcut’s highway speed camera scheme, so the Prairie state’s plans may also get scuttled. And, with a bit of luck and a few of your emails, MD, TN and MO’s scameras may never see the light of day. Not that I’m not objective on this issue…

Automotive News [sub] reports that GM is beginning its promised cutback in contract workers. “We are in the process of advising several temporary agencies that we are continuing to eliminate some contract jobs,” GM spokesman Dan Flores told Automotive News. He declined to say how many workers or the GM sites that are affected.” TTAC can fill in at least one of the blanks. A reader informs us that there are around 500 contract designers on staff at GM’s Warren, MI Tech Center. Approximately four-hundred got the axe. Friday is their last day. He also tells us that the remaining 100 workers will be gone by year’s end. Where does this leave GM’s hybrid design team? China. [thanks to you-know-who-you-are]

It’s the damndest thing. The video showing the new Camaro (it is new, right?) “playing” with the new Corette ZR1 on a track has precious little tire squeal, falling silent at :34 to 1:06. (After which sound returns with the ‘Vette’s solo demo.) A track video without engine sound is the automotive equivalent of dickless porn. While there’s no good answer to this mystery– be it a botched recording or marketing mishegos— we now have the start-up sound of a Camaro SS on video. And you’ve got to admit it sounds awesome– for about two seconds. Sorry fans, but there’s something wrong with the burble on this bad boy. Maybe it’s the recording gear, but the SS lacks the basso profondo bellow of the last gen BMW M5 (the best sounding stock V8 engine idle in the history of the world ever). I’m sure our Best and Brightest can set me to rights, or provide the technical reasons behind this omission. But, again, that missing track audio has a Nixon-esque feel to me.

2010 Camaro SS Engine Startup Vid!!!

The Detroit News reports that previous reports reporting GM’s attempts to sell its Strasbourg factory– oh, and the HUMMER brand– missed a wider campaign by The General to throw the rest of the furniture at the cash conflagration burning down the house. “The Detroit automaker has sold hundreds of acres of land in recent months — including a plant where World War II fighter planes were built — and has several blockbuster deals in the works to sell shuttered facilities and land nationwide to net millions for the company. That’s money GM desperately needs to fund vehicle development and manufacturing, pay bills, and weather a credit crunch that has prevented some buyers from financing new cars, analysts said.” Hey! That’s us! But hang on; how can any real estate deal forged in the current market possibly be considered “blockbuster?” Anyway, the DetN has the full catalog, and, as you’d suspect, GM spinmeisters are whirling like dervishes. “When we can sell surplus property or get it off our books, there are certain benefits from a business standpoint,” GM spokesman Dan Flores told his hometown paper. “It allows us to reduce our operating costs. But our real estate strategy does not drive the business. The company’s focus is to generate cash. We’re not doing anything different than what we always do.” How scary is that?

Back in the day, I mistakenly asked Gary Witzenburg to write for TTAC. The aftermath was… intense. To this day, Witzenburg remains the only [non-spam] person I’ve ever banned from my email account. Even though I knew Gary was wrapped a little tight on the whole stop picking on the domestic automakers deal, I never suspected that the former GM spinmeister would make an entire career out of defending the indefensible. Nor would I have predicted that he would make Autobloggreen his spiritual home. But there he is, and his most recent rant could well be his magnum opus. Witz begins with a long defense– of GM, the EV-1 and his own career– that puts Richard M. Nixon’s “My Mother Was a Saint” resignation speech to shame. And then we’re off into the lazy journalist’s favorite format: Q & A. A highly edited Steve asks “What I cannot fathom is how all three auto manufacturers fell into the big-car trap. This happened before in the 1970s – fuel prices went up and U.S. automakers were left with obsolete product lines.” Gary responds “Come on, Steve, they’re not making sandwiches.” Seriously, this is a fascinating read, on many levels. Just imagine Jack Nicholson playing Gary Witzenburg, insert expletives where needed (everywhere) and you’re there.

Meta media mining can make one a bummed-out blogger. I know I kinda lost it with the AutoWeek/Danbury pimpatorial. But I have this deep-seated sense of fair play that I can’t shake any more than an Amish person and their booty. If you want to know the engine propelling this site’s editorial, it’s my conviction that people deserve the truth. I’m not saying they want the truth. If there was a great hunger for unvarnished automotive editorial, we’d be one of many websites devoted to skewering four-wheeled sacred cows– despite the malevolent influence of automotive PR. Of course, that would also mean that we’d have less meta media mishegos to mine for our… minions? No, the Best and Brightest. We here at TTAC never forget the first part of that title. We know that the majority of our readers are motivated by a personal morality that compels them to do, see, discover and discuss the right thing. In these dangerous times for our economy and society, we must continue to tell the truth about cars, car making, car selling and car buying. And let the chips fall where they may.