When Justin began this, his first week as TTAC’s new ME, I warned him that running the site was like playing a slot machine. Posting blogs, editorials and reviews for our best and Brightest is a highly addictive process. In fact, as someone far more dead than I once said, the trick to life is to find something you love to do and not do too much of it.” In this I’ve failed miserably. Oh well, my Lexapro is your gain. Here’s hoping the new guy has enough sense to know when to, as Lord Humongous said, “Just walk away.” And while I’m throwing quotes around, here’s one more. “This wasn’t the auto industry’s request. It was in the energy bill that was passed last year. When they cranked up fuel economy requirements, in that bill they provided $25 billion worth of loan guarantees to help auto manufacturers and suppliers retool to produce vehicles that could achieve those levels. When you take a look at the broader section of potential customers that might draw on that line of credit, it becomes apparent that maybe $50 billion might be an appropriate number. It accelerates the introduction of technology in the market to help reduce our dependence on foreign oil and improve greenhouse gas emissions. It’s not a loan bailout, and it’s not because the U.S. car companies are distressed.” As long as people like Jim Press say shit like that, there will be people like Justin Berkowitz itching to tell the truth about cars. And thank God for that.

“‘The ultimate solution is the electrification of the vehicle,’ said [Ford Car Czar Derrick] Kuzak, who stressed he was speaking as an engineer and was not commenting specifically on Ford’s future product plans.” God forbid Ford should commit to a single technology, ’cause that might cause more of the old bureaucratic infighting for which The Blue Oval Boyz are famous. Anyway, The Detroit News reports that Derrick’s mate Jim Farley (of the RI Farleys) also reckons ethanol hydrogen the flux capacitor electricity is the “gas of tomorrow’s cars.” “Speaking to reporters separately [so as not to coordinate their stories], Ford’s chief marketing officer, Jim Farley, echoed Kuzak’s enthusiasm for electric vehicles. ‘All I know is that when I talk to customers about electrification they say, ‘That’s cool!’ We better be prepared as an industry.'” Yes, well, by the end of this electrifying cheerleading session, Kuzak backpedals from his “one alt power to rule them all” prognostication. “Kuzak said government intervention or consumer preference could ultimately make one of the other alternative power technologies a more viable choice and that’s why Ford is committed to developing all of them. ‘We have to, because we don’t know how it’s going to play out.'” That’s cool!

An accord is, by its nature, a compromise. While enthusiasts bemoan the Honda Accord’s increased size and lowered fuel efficiency, in truth, the automaker’s done the right thing. They’ve relentlessly identified and ruthlessly removed every possible reason why a cost-conscious American car buyer wouldn’t sign-up for a four-cylinder Accord. In my responsibility to my readers, I can highlight a couple of places where they’ve missed the bloat, I mean boat. But it ain’t easy…

Perusing Motor Trend on the throne, I contemplated angus mackenzie’s rant “the future of the american muscle car.” My first thought: when did capital letters go out of style? My second thought: spending nine paragraphs forwarding the not-so-radical idea that american muscle cars will become lighter, rear wheel-drive, turbo-V6 or diesel-powered somethingorothers is an awful waste of editorial space. But then, we are talking about Motor Trend, a walk-softly-and-carry-a-small-shtick buff book. And as my mentor said, there are no boring stories, only… Anyway, the American muscle car’s eventual evolution– or lack thereof– is a fascinating topic. How do automakers adapt these snorting, snuffling, gas-sucking examples of automotive Americana for a federally-mandated fuel-efficient future? Can they? Should they? Instead of debating it below, I invite our Best and Brightest to put fingers to keyboards and share their thougths on this life-or-death-car subject in long form. Send 800 words– not one word more or less— to robert.farago@thetruthaboutcars.com. Put MUSCLE CAR in the subject bar. Get it done by next Wednesday, September 10. Justin and I will sort through the entries and publish the three best (wihout editing) for a final vote. The winner will receive a one-year subscription to the UK’s Octane magazine. Let’s show angus how it’s done.

Jim Dollinger (a.k.a. Buickman) has been fighting the good fight for GM’s survival for a very long time. Yes, Jim’s a bit OTT. And no, I don’t agree with his recipe for recovery. But Jim doesn’t flame websites, their authors or fellow commentators. And so he’s always been welcome here. But then TTAC invites opposing points of view (as long as they conform to our no-flaming posting policy). Jim reports that the same can not be said of GM Inside News. “I’ve been a member of Insidenews for over three years and a regular contributor. No surprise that I was ridiculed initially for lashing out at RIR and calling for his ouster, this well before it became fashionable. These days many have come around to the same opinion. although the obvious company stooges still inhabit the forums, increasingly more and more members are voicing their dissatisfaction with GM management. After the latest stupidity of GMS for all and pulling of leases, I made the comment “to hell with General Motors.” Since then, I haven’t been able to log in (from any computer). My daughter [a Cadillac dealer in Florida] made some comments about GMIN being hypocites and sent private messages to those who agree with my positions. She was also blocked. Truly, I’m not all that upset; I have plenty of other things to occupy my days. I just thought you might be interested to know that these people, whoever they are, can’t handle the truth and display prejudice and editorial control while proclaiming to hold an open and honest forum for discussion (since they had zero call to “ban” me, they just “jammed” me instead). Funny how they also are quick to ridicule TTAC, all the while refusing to look in the mirror and see themselves for what they are.”

Gary Witzenburg is a former GM spinmeister who worked on the ill-fated EV1, which was, by his reckoning, “a major success.” Gazza’s enthusiasm for The General’s, well, everything, makes the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders seem like a bunch of under-dressed Eeyores. Anyway, now that The Car Connection has disconnected from Witzenburg’s rants, the man who never met a GM turnaround he didn’t believe in provides a rehash of his Motor Trend EV1 story “A Progress Report on GM’s Plug-in EV From a Former EV1 Insider.” So, what do we learn? That the professional (though not official) GM apologist is certifiable, with a chip on his shoulder the size of [Roswell] New Mexico. “The Chevy Volt is more than a flying car; it’s a rocket to the moon, GM’s own NASA-style program to reinvent automotive technology and thus assure the triumph of truth, justice and the American Way. And that’s why the Chevy Volt has been on the cover of every publication in the country for the last 18 months. This is not about cars. It’s about America, dammit. Times are tough, and we’re all tired of people in other countries laughing at us.” Uh, OK. Anyway, yada yada yada… this might just work. “Just as with the GM EV1, the Chevrolet Volt’s biggest challenge is to be just as good as everybody expects it to be.” Oh dear.

“Meanwhile, American business is taking seriously your concern about the cost of gasoline. General Motors is one of our sponsors. We are proud and honored that they are a sponsor of this program.

Everybody’s out there flapping their gums — Thomas Friedman, all these other people who don’t know what they’re talking about. General Motors is doing things, designing terrific cars, crossovers, trucks, SUVs, that use alternative fuels, different ways to power their vehicles. They even have the Escalade hybrid out there now to go along with the Tahoe hybrid, and they’re working on all kinds of different technologies that will help you use less gasoline. One of the alternatives they’re using is flex-fuel cars that use biofuels like ethanol if you want them, and they’re making them if you want them. They have four million of these flex-fuel vehicles on the road, across the globe, and they’re committed to building even more. GM has more modeled that are capable of running on E85 ethanol than any other manufacturer. The Buick Lucerne — that’s the one we’re getting next to tool around here — is one of the cars running on E85. General Motors, they respond to your concerns. They don’t tell you you’re stupid. You can see all their cars at RushLimbaugh.com. “

As someone who solicited and edited Brock Yates’ rants, and then didn’t, I can identify the former Car and Driver superstar’s style in a single sentence. “Now I tell the truth for a living,” “The Mechanic” declares on Edmunds Straightline, tweaking TTAC. “A good living. I get big checks to write this garbage. Big enough that I can buy any car I want. OK, that’s a stretch. The Mechanic cannot afford a Rolls or a Bugatti, but I’ve got money to spend. And I’ve got good taste. I’m also college-educated. Literate. And I appreciate the best. When I spend my money I spend it on quality goods. And the car I choose to be seen in must be a quality item. The finest of its kind. In other words, I would not buy an American car. It’s hard for me to even type that. Fact is, I’d like to buy an American car, a great American car. It just doesn’t exist.” It’s hard to tell if “The Mechanic” actually is a [heavily re-written] Brock Yates. But this much is for sure: publishing this belligerent throw-down under a pseudonym demonstrates Edmunds’ fear of losing its advertising revenue. In fact, I reckon it’s only a matter of time before those sponsors fix The Mechanic, if you know what I mean. [Thanks to HarveyBirdman for the link]

God I love that guy over at The Newspaper. Not only did he somehow score one of the world’s best urls, but he’s also dedicated his site to revealing the government scams, deceit and constitutional affronts plaguing American motorists. Today, we get a special blog, for those of us who want to believe in divine justice (retribution?). “An Australian red light camera operator lost the ability to issue tickets in Knoxville, Tennessee because it failed to send the required documents to the city on time… Redflex blamed FedEx for delivering the package on August 1… ‘Unfortunately, the FedEx vehicle transporting the shipment from our facility to our Los Angeles sort facility arrived later than scheduled and missed the outbound flight,’ a FedEx customer relations employee wrote to Redflex. ‘Regrettably, efforts to expedite the shipment have been unsuccessful.’ FedEx will refund the shipping cost of just over $30, which is scant consolation to the Australian company that lost the opportunity to take $5 million from Tennessee drivers.” I wonder if the FedEx driver ran any lights…

“This isn’t the same America that mustered the will and the fierce pride to counteract global evil in the Second World War. This isn’t the same America whose ‘blue sky’ thinking and unbridled creativity responded to a challenge and propelled the rocket age to new heights. And this isn’t the same America that once shared a common purpose and perspective on what this country stands for. Instead, this country has become a jaded and fractionalized nation of consumer sponges driven by the lackadaisical mantra of ‘whatever’ and ‘what’s in it for me?’ A nation whose people couldn’t be bothered with such esoteric concepts as this country’s eroding manufacturing base and the nation’s burgeoning inability to lead on the world stage.” Wow! It looks like Sweet Pete has gone beyond Shock and Denial, past Pain and Guilt, all the way to Anger and Bargaining. Yup. “At this juncture Detroit has only one move left, and that is to get through to the American consumer by building outstanding products that have no ‘ifs,’ ‘ands,’ or ‘buts’ attached to them. Machines that not only stand out, but stand above the rest.” What’s the hurry? Next up: Depression, Reflection and Loneliness.

In the run-up to a $50b taxpayer-sponsored handout, Detroit is beginning to fret about congressional oversight/investigation (as detailed in our latest General Motors Death Watch). Detroit News Auto Editor Manny Lopez sees the danger. “GM, Ford and Chrysler are not charitable organizations though they’ve acted like it in the past with everything from labor contracts to benefits and executive salaries. They cannot afford to let that continue. They’re lobbying hard for direct government loans to help bring them out of their automotive abyss, but that can’t happen until they plug a few more holes in the proverbial belt and tighten it even further.” Notice the weak language: “a few more holes.” Yes, while Lopez praises Detroit for tightening-up on (i.e. suing) a handful of employees for violating employee discounts regs, and chides an unnamed automaker for serving non-proverbial “hand-battered pecan crusted whitefish” in its executive dining rooms, he only makes the previously mentioned passing mention re: executive compensation. Hello? Rick Wagoner banked $15.5m last year. Lopez’ half-hearted call for reform tells us that Detroit has more to worry about than it expects. A quick email to your senator would help in that regard.

So there we were, joining the speculation that Russian, uh, “oligarch” Oleg Deripaska was about to scarf GM’s HUMMER brand. While that turned out to be a journalistic damp squib, the Russian billionaire that the feds won’t allow on our shores (now that his $500k bribe to former Senator Bob Dole has expired) has found a way to join hands with The General. The Moscow Times reports the deal: “GAZ, billionaire Oleg Deripaska’s automaker, will partner General Motors in Italian engine maker VM Motori, after agreeing to buy the 50 percent the U.S. company does not own.” The Veep of GM Powertrain Europe is thrilled. “Our joint venture agreement with GAZ Group provides business opportunities to expand our diesel engine business with new customers,” Mike Arcamonet announced. To that end, “GAZ will gain the right to build the Italian producer’s light-diesel engines in Russia under license after acquiring the stake from Detroit-based Penske. This according to Yelena Matveyeva, a spokeswoman for Deripaska’s Russian Machines transportation division. Matveyeva “declined to disclose the financial terms” of the deal. I wonder why.

Ten weeks before the Tet Offensive fatally undermined American support for the Vietnam War, General William Westmoreland embarked on a publicity tour to “sell” the ongoing military campaign. In a televised news conference, Westmoreland famously declared that he could see “the light at the end of the tunnel.” In the same sense, GM’s executives continue to express their faith in the automaker’s “turnaround.” This much is to be expected– especially when The General is lobbying for tens of billions of dollars in public funds. But the mainstream automotive media’s complicity is unconscionable.

Honda, the poster child for “Why Can’t Motown be More Like a Transplant?” was not immune from the U.S. auto industry’s August doldrums. While sales of the new Pilot rose 18.6 percent (11,276 units), and sales of the miserly Civic increased by 5.3 percent (30,052) units, Honda’s Fit ran out of puff. August sales sank 25.1 percent. Year-to-date, Fit sales are up 54.9 percent– indicating the run-out of the old model/anticipation for the new one. Meanwhile, the plentiful, new(ish) Accord is also struggling, down 7.9 percent, ceding the top sales spot to Camry by 991 cars. Needless to say (these days), light truck sales dragged Honda’s numbers down. CR-V sales dropped by 14.3 percent, the Odyssey took a 19.6 percent dive and the Ridgeline (the what?) was 14.4 percent off its previous pace. Even with the Pilot’s ascent, Honda’s truck sales were down a combined 10.6 percent. That’s not bad, you know, considering.

Ford’s August sales numbers are in. Following the now-familiar pattern, Ford’s put a brave face on what can only be described as the tragedy part of that weird ass dual mask drama companies use on their programs. “FORD FOCUS, ESCAPE REMAIN STANDOUTS IN A CHALLENGING MARKET,” FoMoCo’s press release proclaims. Gas misers must truly in vogue, as non-class-leader Ford Focus sales rose 23 percent. Escape sales also escaped the August drought, ascending by 17 percent.  OK, now the bad news… All three Blue Oval Brands took in on the chin, year-to-date-wise: Ford (-14.7 percent), Lincoln (-18.8 percent) and Mercury (-23.6 percent). While the general car scene wasn’t all that rosy (-5.1 percent), but the SUV picture was a desert (trucks down 20.1 percent).

[Click here for Ford’s August sales stats]