The Wall Street Journal reports that "Chrysler LLC will aggressively pursue partnerships with other auto makers to expand its global reach–" Hang on; "expand its global reach?" Don't you mean get something into Chrysler's American showrooms that customers will actually buy so we (Cerberus) can finally sell someone this turkey? No? OK. Carry on. "and its president dismissed the idea that joint ventures may damage the value of Chrysler's own brand." Well exactly! How could rebadging/reengineering someone else's product possibly hurt Chrysler's brand? (What brand, you say?) Especially when ChryCo Co-Prez Tom LaSorda promises "every joint venture will either produce an entirely new vehicle not already in Chrysler's lineup or it will be limited to a slightly modified car or truck made or designed by the partner but that doesn't compete with an existing Chrysler model in the same market." What's more, LaSorda says everyone should be doing it! "Partner early and partner often, because more strategic alliances and joint ventures are on the way. And the best time to partner with a company entering your market is before they enter." So let's see… Chrysler's cutting or trying to cut deals with VW, Nissan, Fiat, Great Wall, Chery, Mahindra and one Russian carmaker to be named (or not) later. Is there anyone "The New Chrysler" won't sleep with talk to?

The Detroit News reports that presidential candidate John McCain "declined to support any of several proposals to provide loan guarantees to the domestic carmakers." (Whatever happened to Just Say No?) During a campaign swing through Michigan, McCain dismissed calls to help Detroit make the cars they should have been making in the first place, or should be able to make now on their own damn dime given all the profits they banked during the SUV and pickup boom, or something like that. Anyway, McCain's rationale: supporting bail-outs would unleash karma that would jinx Detroit's automakers. No, really. "Asked if he backed such proposals, McCain suggested that such support might create a sense of doom around the companies. 'I have heard many of these proposals, but I have also had meetings with the Big 3 automakers, and they are confident that with the new hybrids and flex-fuels and other technology advances … they can succeed. So in all due respect, I worry a little bit about us predicting failure on the part of the automakers when they're struggling mightily.'" "Barack Obama supports loans and tax credits to retool the nation's auto plants and build the next generation of American cars," Brent Colburn, Obama's economic adviser, advised soon thereafter.

Manny Lopez is The Detroit News ' head cheerleader. The Auto Editor hires the team, chooses the cheers and makes sure everyone stays on message. Manny's megaphone emits the same hoarse polemic the paper's been shouting since the 60's: "they" don't understand us. His latest: if the "Planet Protectors" (Nancy Pelosi, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Al Gore) watched the Woodward Dream Cruise they'd leave us the fuck alone [paraphrasing]. Manny's madder than that though. He launches a personal attack that posits what cars the terrible trio MAY have owned before their rise to power, to show their possible hypocrisy. Nancy's imaginary past puts her at the wheel of a "sun-drenched yellow Bug that was dressed up and clean." Arnie drove "a 1974 Cadillac Eldorado with a 500-cubic inch V-8 engine pulling 300-plus horsepower." And Al Gore piloted "a 1970 Plymouth Barracuda complete with a 426 Hemi engine." And then Manny plays CYA. "Perhaps they drove econoboxes and my guesses are all wrong, but I bet they have distinct memories of classic cars, nonetheless." I don't suppose the Auto Editor thought about actually establishing the facts of the matter, any more than Detroit considers the possibility that "outsiders" may have something valid to say about the industry.

OK, so Streetfire.net pulled the suburban sreet racing 'Vette video from their site, to which this post was originally linked. Fair enough. Commendable, really– if you adhere to the school of thought that presenting dangerous criminal activities to the general public may not be the best possible use of bandwidth. Rest assured I see the other side of this: first amendment and all that. Besides, there are plenty of illegal automobiling videos on Streetfire and YouTube. Do we really expect them to police every one? 

PHILLY STREET RACING

Automotive News [AN, sub] brings news from the Traverse City auto-exec seminary. Only their headline news is not the real news. AN proclaims "Toyota exec says pickup market will recover." And indeed Robert Carter does just that, in a distinctly vague, Detroit-like way. "We are absolutely confident that the recovery will take place," the GM of ToMoCo USA says, confidently. "It's just arguable when." But the real money shot (or, in this case, not) arrives in Carter's set-up. Before pushing Pollyanna on stage, Carter said he "expects full-size pickup truck sales to total 1.45 million in 2008 — a significant drop from last year's sales of 2.14 million units." Significant is just a word (as is "word"). As for that eventual, arguably-timed pickup pickup, Carter's "not sure what will happen to what he calls the 'recreational user' of pickup trucks — the weekend warrior who uses his pickup to tow a boat or pickup a grill at Home Depot." Uh, if that "non-core" but still sizable demographic doesn't return, what kind of recovery is he talking about? Semi, demi or quasi? Make mine non-fat.  

The Detroit News reports that The People's Republic has a new strategy to combat air pollution: tax the shit out of large cars [paraphrasing]. "The tax on passenger vehicles with engines bigger than 4 liters will be doubled to 40 percent from 20 percent, effective Sept. 1, the Finance Ministry said Wednesday in a statement on its Web site. Those buying vehicles with engines sized from 2 liters up to 4 liters will have to pay a 25 percent tax, up from the current 15 percent, it said." So, Buick's big barges get blasted. Ditto Ford's Chinese Volvos and Lincolns. OK, so both companies sell small cars in China as well, as part of their [mandatory] joint ventures. Only just-auto [sub] reports China's new car market has hit the skids. July sales fell 17 percent. "The Chinese vehicle market has cooled this year under the combined influences of higher inflation (reducing consumers' disposable income), increased petrol prices, the effects of the Sichuan earthquake and generally lower consumer confidence (stock markets are down)." Things don't look so bad year-to-date, but the domestics' Chinese bright spot won't be shining a ray of sunshine on next quarter's financials. Beyond that, the threat of official action to tamp-down the JVs to help the home team looms large. [thanks to autoacct628 for the link]

We have it from an insider that the bankrupt parts supplier Delphi is about to "downsize" its domestic ops. Not that it'll do them much good. Now that Appaloosa Investments and Friends bailed-out of Delphi's bail-out plan, the former GM division is on its last life. Although Delphi's suing its jilters, what are the odds that a judge can/will force Appaloosa to fork over the billions the money men didn't leave on the table? At best, more money will be lost on lawyers, all 'round. All of which means a Delphi Chapter 7 is just over the event horizon. GM will have to buy up (back) the Delphi bits it needs to keep building vehicles. And as GM's August 8th SEC filing points out, "In addition the Benefit Guarantees may be triggered which would result in additional liabilities to us. We may also be subject to additional litigation regarding Delphi." The flames of GM's cash conflagration continue… [thanks to you-know-who-you-are for the tip]

Thanks to The Economist, we now have a name for ChryCo's pain. (OK, a number, but literary needs must.) In an article entitled "Detroit's race against time," the UK pub recaps the domestic automakers' litany of woes: truck-heavy line-ups, falling sales, killer depreciation and quasi-criminal stupidity [paraphrasing]. The Economist feels the cash burn. But they also understand the importance of Detroit's general cluelessness. "But if the speed with which the Detroit firms are burning cash is the biggest immediate cause for concern, the deeper question is whether they are using what remains to make their businesses viable in the long term." Ford's plans get a tentative thumbs-up, Chrysler gets a question mark and GM gets a shot to the solar plexus. "GM’s global design chief, Ed Welburn, acknowledges that its next generation of small cars will be designed in places like South Korea and Europe where they 'really know how to do small cars'. But unlike Mr Mulally, Mr Wagoner has not said what will be arriving and when. Indeed, at times he seems weighed down by the sheer complexity of managing such a bloated product portfolio." Poor bastard. [thanks to Point Given for the link]

Speaking at the Traverse City Management Briefing Seminar, GM's PC Queen Veep of environment, energy and safety policy told the assembled throngs that The General wants federal tax credits for "alternative fuel vehicles." Reporting Beth Lowery's begging bowl presentation, Automotive News' [sub] David Barkholz reveals he wasn't born yesterday. "The incentives would help coax consumers to try new technologies like the Chevrolet Volt plug-in, the hybrid electric car that GM expects to roll out in 2010." O.K., so, selfless concerns about America's energy independence aside, are your elected representatives really going to buy the idea that a plug-in vehicle (with a gas engine, lest we forget) is more important for fuel conservation than a "normal" high mileage vehicle or, God forbid, a "normal" hybrid? Stay tuned– and inflate those tires properly! 

It's never a good idea to let journalists loose on a prototype. Even the tamest of the breed feels obliged to point out the vehicle's deficiencies. In this case, AutoWeek's Hans Greimel flew to Japan to test Nissan's gas – electric Infiniti G35. Needless to say, it didn't fail to disappoint. "During a prototype test drive for journalists last week in Japan, the hybrid car suffered awkward lags when the engine kicked in to help the electric motor. Deceleration also was jerky because of battery regeneration. 'We still have a few issues with this development vehicle,' says Tatsuo Abe, manager of Nissan's hybrid engineering unit." News-wise, Nissan hasn't decided which Infiniti to hybridize, but it won't try to out-mpg the Prius. "Toyota is the current leader, and one of our intentions is to approach hybrids from a different angle," Product Veep Atsushi Shizuta told AW's Man in Japan. "This is as much about power assist as it is about fuel economy." Hans sees the flaw in that one. "Honda pitched the performance of its Accord Hybrid sedan but dumped the model at the end of the 2007 model year after lackluster sales. Honda is now planning a hybrid Fit small car, which should achieve excellent fuel economy." 

When it comes to PR-friendly consumer surveys, I'm from Missouri. I want to know who paid for them and what methodology was employed. Acxiom's "Automotive Consumer Dynamics Study" hails from an Arkansas data mining company whose website doesn't divulge a client list. Apparently, the study sample's from "the world’s largest repository of up-to-date U.S. consumer intelligence (InfoBase-XTM)… that spans over 200 million U.S. consumers representing over 130 million households and over 50 million vehicle purchase / trade-in transactions." Wow! So, with that in mind, Acxiom reckons some consumers are willing to trade down to small cars, and some aren't. Most consumers' vehicle choices are [now] heavily influenced by gas prices– but some aren't. Some consumers are hanging back on buying a new car, but most aren't. In fact, any member of the Best and Brightest who can find something rad in this study gets an honorable mention here: [ ———- ]

The Daily Vedomosti (a combination of The Financial Times, The Wall Street Journal and Russia's Independent Media) says Russian "oligarch" Oleg Deripaska is making a play to purchase GM's HUMMER brand. ABC News repeats the report without providing any further details– save a few salacious facts about the Russian 28-billionaire's unsavory past. In context, of course. "The U.S. State Department revoked his visa in 2005 because they were reportedly concerned he had not been honest about his business dealings. U.S. law enforcement officials reportedly believe he is tied to organized crime. The allegations add a layer of irony to the possible purchase, as the Hummer has been popular with the would-be outlaw set in the United States. Gangsta rappers like now-deceased Tupac Shakur and 'Gangster's Paradise' artist Coolio owned Hummers, as did Christopher Moltosanti, the young ill-fated capo in HBO's The Sopranos." Less culturally aware commentators may remember Deripaska as Magna strongman Frank Stronach's partner in his ill-fated attempt to "liberate" Chrysler from Daimler. Anyway, GM will neither confirm or deny the report. "We haven't announced any of the discussions that have taken place with any outside parties that are interested in the brand," Hummer spokesman Nick Richards announced.

New York Times Op Editorialist Bob Herbert thinks motorcyclists in particular and American voters in general have been hood-winked by pols who proclaim that drilling for oil would offer relief from high gas prices. Make that "immediate relief." "Maximum capacity from these new leases wouldn’t be reached until 2030, when that 7- or 8-year-old is approaching 30, finished with college and graduate school, and very likely married with children. And even then — after more than two decades and who knows how many graduations, weddings, funerals and family cars — even then, the amount of oil expected to come from these leases would have little or no effect on the price of gasoline at the pump." So that's that then. Except for a slam at anyone stupid enough not to accept Herbert's argument. "I wonder if the electorate will ever wise up." Yeah, democracy sucks. You know, except for all the other systems [hat tip to Winston Churchill for the pithiness].

Henry Ford said "You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do." Someone forgot to tell Bennie Fowler, Ford's group vice president of global quality. The Detroit News reports that Fowler stepped up to the microphone in front of his peers and started playing the dozens with the quality king. "In a direct challenge to Toyota… Fowler told industry leaders at the Center for Automotive Research's annual Management Briefing Seminars that new European- designed compacts and subcompacts such as the Fiesta and Focus will roll off the line with an average of 800 things gone wrong per 1,000 vehicles." If Fowler can meet that ambitious target, it would place Ford's quality above Toyota's– at least in this metric. Yes, well, apparently The Blue Oval Boyz are headed for one of those fist-pumping moments. "This time, we're playing for all the marbles — and we aim to win." Note to Bennie: must follow Crazy Henry's dictates. Such as, "Quality means doing it right when no one is looking."

I don't want to sound double negative about Caddy's new $71,685 gas – electric Escalade Hybrid, but the man in charge doesn't have a clue about his brand's positioning. Speaking to The Wall Street Journal about tanking sales (down 12 percent year-to-date), Cadillac's Product Guy seems to think Caddy's target market are the uber-rich. "'Many people, despite the economic times, are still doing well,' said John Howell, Cadillac global products director, noting that sales of luxury yachts and private jets are on the rise. 'These peoples' needs haven't changed. They still want the top-of-the line products.'" Assuring his place in the nominations for TTAC's Bob Lutz award, Howell goes on to repeat Maximum Bob's maximum gaffe. "'Image also is a factor, he said. The 'green' movement sweeping the nation has wealthier buyers thinking twice about a gas-guzzling SUV, but not because they can't afford the fuel. 'There's negative karma around SUVs,' Mr. Howell said. He hopes a hybrid Escalade will ease some of those image problems." So, how does all this square with Caddy's relentless march down market? Answer: it doesn't.