I live just off Blackstone Boulevard (GPS coordinates available for GM Black Ops rotary winged aircraft). It's RI's urban highway: two-lanes in each direction with a large, leafy central island (once a streecar route, now joggers' paradise). The Boulevard is also the Mother of All Speed Traps; I'll pay anyone who can drive down that piece of tarmac at 25mph to wear one of those Mission Impossible masks and sit through my kids' school plays. Well, that's the way it used to be. Suddenly, Renaissance City Planners have added a bike lane to Blackstone Boulevard, restricting traffic in each direction to a single lane. As a two-wheeled boulevardier, I can only say WTF? The new lane places two-wheelers closer to the traffic (there's a lane for parking next to the curb). Why didn't my unelected representatives ban parking and put the bike lane next to the curb? And now I hear these self-same traffic planners [sic] are going to install speed bumps. All I've got to say about that is this article about a Canadian traffic calming strategy gone serious awry. "[Local resident Brenda] White says cars and a motorcycle have spun out of control after hitting or dodging [constricted] curbs. Some cars spin onto lawns, she said. Some shear off trees or dent traffic signs and cable boxes. Curbs are chipped and blackened by the many tires that have struck them. A recent survey found residents are almost as concerned about the curbs as they are about speeding. Their concerns are justified. Between 2004 and 2006, five drivers lost control on Heritage Drive and crashed. Five more vehicles crashed for other reasons. One of these 10 collisions claimed a life."

Like its LA equivalent, The New York Times is making gloat while the price of gas hurts. That said, The Gray Lady's Op Editorialist begins with an [ironic?] back pat for the great American SUV buyer's eco-political awakening. I mean, former SUV buyer. "We have heartily applauded Americans’ collective decision to recognize the finite nature of the world’s supply of fossil fuels and to start driving sensible vehicles. But we must also acknowledge that this abrupt change of heart is creating a new national challenge: what to do with the suddenly redundant S.U.V.?" After a quick acknowledgment of the financial pain caused by SUV backwardedness and the trapping of buyers' bucks therein, the NYT offers a practical idea for ditching the tree-hugger's four-wheeled bogeyman: "We suggest exploring foreign countries. The Russian market for cars, for instance, is booming — thanks to a fast-growing economy and generous government subsidies that are keeping a lid on the price of gas. The best part is that Russians prefer secondhand imports over domestic Ladas and Volgas." Huh? How's that going to work? And I thought The Times was anti-SUV on global warming grounds. Alternatively… "Then there’s the scrap market." Or, finally, "The artist John Chamberlain made a name for himself making sculptures out of crushed automobile parts. Cadillac Ranch — an array of graffiti-covered Cadillacs protruding at an angle from a field near Amarillo, Tex. — has become one of the nation’s landmarks.With a few adaptations, a Lincoln Navigator might make a nice streetlamp." Who said the Times doesn't have a sense of humor?

We reported earlier on the gold standard in this genre: Scott Burgess' Aspen Hybrid review. Clearly, USA Today car reviewer James R. Healey suffers from the same truth-telling conundrum: how do you diss a hybrid, even if it's a ridiculous idea whose absurdity is only matched by its shoddy execution? You know there's trouble right from the headline: "Chrysler's hybrid SUVs pull in near front of pack." Near? What pack? The pack of hybrid SUVs? Yup. "What makes Chrysler models superior to GM's?" Healey asks. Talk about the wrong question. (The answer is price, apparently.) After that bogus comparo, Healey gets down to business, and it ain't good for ChryCo. "Starting from a dead stop was lazy unless you pushed hard on the throttle, thus undoing the fuel-economy benefits (but generating lots of fun from the willing and eager Hemi V-8). Once underway, the hybrid's switching among modes was accompanied by tiny jerks and shimmies… As with most hybrids [?], there's a shudder when the gas engine fires up to aid the electrics, but it was barely noticeable in the Durango. The bulky battery pack under the second-row seat was a hurdle for access to the third row." Oh, and "Quiet: But electric motor whines at low speed." 

GM Car Czar Bob Lutz' infamous pre-Katrina remark, "Rich people don't care about gas," has once again come back to haunt him. This time it arrives in the form of a $71,685 two-mode hybrid; a rebadged Chevy Suburban SUV called the Cadillac Escalade Hybrid. Here's the problem: Bob's remark implied that rich people are environmentally unconscious (and, by extension GM). If that's true– and I'm not saying it isn't– why would anyone pay an extra $14,795 (over the base 'Slade) or $3600 (for the two-mode propulsion system's premium) to buy a gas – electric version of the Escalade? Is it because they care about looking like they care about the price of gas? And if that's right– and I'm not saying it is– wasn't Maximum Bob wrong in the first place? And if these rich people really cared about looking like they cared about the price of gas, why would they buy a hybrid SUV (20 mpg city) instead of something more fuel efficient (if a lot less big and infinitely less bling)? How many rich, luxury-loving, boat-towing, gas price or carbon-footprint-aware SUV drivers are there, anyway? Last question (I swear): how much did this doomed PR-mobile cost GM? OK, one more. How long before those hybrid stickers and badges show up on eBay? [First photo of one of these in the wild– customer owned– gets an honorable mention.]

Having escaped The Bored of Directors' Night of the Soft Pillows, GM CEO Rick Wagoner once again watches as his employer takes a hit to its [somewhat nebulous] bottom line. Reuters reports The General is shelling-out $277m to settle a shareholders' lawsuit "contending the automaker made false and misleading statements." (Presumably, in its accounts, rather than generally.) You may recall there was a while there when GM restated its earnings more often than a squealing bookie– which is a bit bizarre (or not) as Wagoner ascended the throne from the Chief Financial Officer slot. Anyway, "In the regulatory filing [which exposed the payoff], GM also disclosed the tentative settlement of a separate lawsuit brought by shareholders, agreeing to make unspecified changes to its corporate governance rules. GM also agreed not to oppose plaintiffs' attorney fees of up to $7.5 million in that case." Unspecified changes? Hang on; is this a publicly-held company or not? And if you think this is bad, wait 'til you see the legal bills when the artist once known as the world's largest automaker files for C11. 

The federal ethanol mandate is the Mother of All Ethanol Boondoggles. The latest federal energy bill dictates that some 9b gallons of ethanol must be blended into gasoline from Sept. 1 to Aug. 31, 2009– whether consumers like it or not. How can the feds "force" the market to swallow all that corn-juice? The Renewable Fuels Standard sets the bar for all 50 states' gas blends; backed-up by the usual threat (loss of federal highway funds). According to The Detroit News, Texas governor Rick Perry has asked the EPA to cut that shit out [paraphrasing]. Perry wants the feds to "temporarily " reduce ethanol requirements to bring down the corn prices bedeviling his rancher friends. Oh, and people who eat. In a phone call with the Gov, EPA Administrator Stephan Johnson laughed, Joker-like at the idea [paraphrasing]. Perry was pissed [for real]. "I am greatly disappointed with the EPA's inability to look past the good intentions of this policy to see the significant harm it is doing to farmers, ranchers and American households," Perry said. "For the EPA to assert that this federal mandate is not affecting food prices not only goes against common sense, but every American's grocery bill." The Texas-sized battle against boondoggery begins.

I kid. What we're looking at here is a hand-crafted aluminum body over a carbon fiber chassis with a bunch of bits from Aston's existing models. [There is some irony here. The man who created the current much-used Aston shape, Henrik Fisker, tried to make a go of it as a "coachbuilder," re-skinning and modding Mercedes SLs and BMW 6s. He's now a Karma chameleon, working on an EV sports car.] The new Aston whip looks sufficiently different from the "standard" Vanquish (or whatever they call their top model these days) for observers to ask One-77 owners, "I say, is that an Aston?" Which they bloody well better, given that it'll cost high-end collectors over £1m to add a One-77 to their climate-controlled garage. The real question is horsepower, the lack of which is hamstringing Aston's post-Ford aspirations. The absurdly minimalist one-77.com website only promises a 7.0-liter V12. Which Classic Driver posits at a ridiculous 1077hp. If there are anywhere near that number of horses under-bonnet, it ought to secure the Anglo-American-Arabian automaker's base, and please European and American efficiency-conscious regulators no end. 

In our ongoing campaign to put TTAC at the forefront of automotive journalism, we've decided to go behind the headlines, to provide the kind of insight and perspective that you can't get elsewhere, if only because no one else could be bothered. That's because we know many of our Best and Brightest are just as geeky and OCD as we are. More charitably, what miserly or environmentally conscious pistonhead wouldn't want to know about thermal seat management? After all, as the DOE discovered, if you use less AC, you save mpgs! In any case, here's my interview with Dan Coker, President and CEO of Amerigon, the world's premier supplier of heated and cooled seat technology. For those of you who aren't podcast-compatible, the bottom line: the cool-your-butt business is booming. Amerigon's up to $75m turnover this year. It's an American success story, human ingenuity at its finest, coming to a Sealy Posturpedic near you soon.  

Do The Detroit News' headline writers have a daily cheerleading contest? Or is it more of an intellectual challenge thing: let's see if we can outspin the spinners? Why else would the Motown paper bury the fact that Ford's killed plans for a downsized version of their full-sized F-150 pickup in the text of an article titled "Ford high on fuel sippers?" Drug-related snickers aside, the meat of the matter arrives in paragraph seven, where we learn Ford reckons a more fuel-efficient, EcoBoosted F-150 obviates the need for the F-100. "The Detroit News has learned, the automaker has put aside plans to build the F-100, a smaller, lighter version of the F-150. The new truck was to have been built at the Michigan Truck Plant in Wayne, but Ford has decided to retool that plant to produce small cars. It could still build the F-100 at one of its other truck plants if it later determines there is a need for the product. Ford has also taken steps to ensure that it can quickly change its mind if it decides it needs to bring a new global version of the Ranger to the United States." Cost-cutting, smart move or cost cutting disguised as a smart move? "The small pickup segment doesn't really provide a lot of benefit," analyst Erich Merkle told the DetN. "You buy a pickup truck for bed space and towing. There really isn't much substitute for a full-size pickup. But it all depends on what happens to the price of fuel." Now I'm really confused…

As a Jew with a pretty solid claim on owning a functional sense of humor, I have to say that Hadar Goldman, co-owner of the Zarmon Goldman advertising agency in Tel Aviv, is being disingenuous. His company's ad, depicting a wild-eyed Arab sheik wailing on a Nissan Tilda for its [theoretical] effect on his bank balance, is over-the-top, over-the-line and not-so-funny. What if an Arabian agency created an ad that portrayed Jews as money-grubbing shysters? "It's a humorous campaign that was loved by both the Jewish and Arab worlds," Nissan spinmeister Daniella Ribenbach told The Jerusalem Post. Uh, we'd like to see some data on that Danny. Meanwhile, "It's my opinion that Nissan made a huge error by igniting these [racist] instincts," official Hani al-Wafa told Saudi Arabian TV. "In order for Nissan to keep its interests in the region, it must apologize." And so it will.

The ironically named Kevin Drum takes on once and former oil man T. Boone Pickens' plan for American energy independence. After CBS' Drum has his wicked way with Pickens' not-so-well publicized personal financial interests in the matter, there's hardly a shred of credibility left upon which the Texan can wipe his ass. So to speak. "So T. Boone Pickens has an energy plan he wants to sell us. The basic idea is simple: Build a bunch of windmills in Texas to generate electricity, and then use the electricity to power electric cars. Voila! Energy independence! No, wait. That's not it at all. What Pickens actually wants to do is use the windmills to replace the electricity from existing power plants that run on natural gas. Then we can use the natural gas to run our cars." Hmmm. "Along with being the country's biggest wind power developer, Pickens owns Clean Energy Fuels Corp., a natural gas fueling station company that is the sole backer of the stealthy Proposition 10 on California's November ballot…. But a closer read finds a laundry list of cash grabs — from $200 million for a liquefied natural gas terminal to $2.5 billion for rebates of up to $50,000 for each natural gas vehicle. Much of the measure's billions could benefit Pickens' company to the exclusion of almost all other clean-vehicle fuels and technology." Is that why GM was talking up CNG cars recently? Hang on; one conspiracy at a time, please. 

Once again, The Wall Street Journal reports on the latest automotive meta-gossip as fact, citing anonymous sources. "The two companies agreed earlier this year to team up on pickup trucks and subcompact cars. Since then, they have been discussing an agreement under which Nissan would produce midsize sedans that Chrysler would sell in the U.S. under its own name, people familiar with the matter say." This is the K-Martization concept that TTAC floated in the Chrysler Suicide Watch. Although the WSJ is happy to conclude the partnership "could help bring the company back to profitability, even though its vehicle sales are declining," this will never work. As our Deep Throat points out, "It’s way more complicated than it appears. Imagine having different vendors sourcing entire cars… the logistics are impossible. There’s no commonality in interiors, exterior design (no matter how hard Chrysler tries to align the exteriors), the systems (including software), etc. etc. They’re all different among manufacturers. Imagine parts distribution – a nightmare – trying to source all of that and then supplying it. Simple things like part numbers go haywire. Then what about warranty items. Who pays what?" And then there's branding… A full CSW to follow.

So, what does GM CEO Rick Wagoner have on the 13 other members of the automaker's Bored of Directors? Whatever it is, it must be both criminal AND depraved. How else can you explain the fact that George Fisher (the lead independent BOD member) and his cronies have thrown their support behind The General's top general? Under Wagoner's watch, GM's shed over 10 percent of its U.S. market share, sold everything that wasn't nailed down, flushed its share price down the proverbial toilet, slid into negative market capitalization (if you think about it) and screwed-up its branding beyond repair. That should be enough to get a dictator fired, never mind an executive of a publicly held company. And that doesn't include the fact that Wagoner has banked over $100m personally and NEVER announced hard targets for his "turnaround" plan. His equally nebulous plan from here on out is also grounds for dismissal. Oh well. It looks like GM will file for much-needed and now inevitable Chapter 11 protections over Wagoner's dead body. Perhaps it will go straight to Chapter 7, as and when. Meanwhile, the chances of a GM shareholder revolt grow by the day. And the lawsuit won't be far behind. This is going to get ugly. And if you really want to get your blood boiling, check the caption this photo or click on over to The Detroit News, whose wishy-washy, pom-pom threatening report could well be The Mother of All Apologias.