Given that GM terminated the HUMMER brand not long after its dealers spent millions constructing Quonset hut-style shoppertainment centers, a Saturn showroom makeover may not be welcome news for fans of the ailing "import fighter." But there it is, via The Detroit News' John McCormick. Needless to say, Motown's Big Mac is down with the design re-think. Which, upon careful reading, is no biggie (unless you're looking for an excuse for a junket to Connecticut). "All this research has translated into careful adjustments to the way a Saturn showroom is laid out; how chairs and desks are positioned, how computer monitors are presented, how accessories are presented and so on. For example, the sales desks have no drawers, two chairs on both sides and a computer monitor that is angled so the customer can see it easily. Shoppers are encouraged to surf the internet for competitive deals right in front of the sales person… Overall, the showroom design puts more emphasis on people than cars, which are arrayed to the outside, leaving the center area for seating and displays." Meanwhile… Despite Saturn's latest ad campaign and refreshed Euro-style product line-up, Roger Smith's baby racked-up just 17,603 sales in July. That's down 13.6 percent for the month, -17.9 percent for the year.  

MAN am I bored with the new Chevrolet Camaro. GM's drip-feed PR campaign– ahead of the retro-modern muscle car's delayed, spring '09 launch– has been interminable. At this point, what else is there to say about the car? Except next! I mean, GMNext. Am I the only person who visits this website? My gardener's blog gets more comments. But I could be wrong; Camaro Product Manager John Fitzpatrick claims "The response [to an online chat] was overwhelming — we were typing as fast as we could and still couldn’t get to about 100 of your questions." It looks like John's a hunt-and-peck kinda guy; he's chosen just 13 Q's and A'ed them in a terse/cut-and-paste style. We learn the info above (which we already knew from the PR snaps) and the fact that the Camaro "has a specific life-cycle plan" (score one for planned obsolescence!). It will accommodate golf clubs. Yes, but how many sets? Damn! The suspense is killing me. 

Detroit News scribe Scott Burgess is the gas-guzzling Dodge Challenger SRT-8's target demographic: a 50-something white car guy who never met a big-bore V8 he didn't like. As such, as a writer for Motown's hometown paper, Burgess can't just come out and call the new $46k Chrysler Aspen HEMI Hybrid a deeply-misguided, over-priced, poorly-built piece of shit. Even though, clearly, it is. The resulting review is a study in inner conflict and rhetorical turmoil. (Or is that the other way around?) We're talking about a vehicle that gets a "???" on Burgess' report card. There's plenty of unintentional humor to be had here, as the reviewer plays good cop/bad cop with his own conscience. "This SUV handles like a bowl of Jello when going fast. The electric power steering is a little loose and the body rolls through turns heavily. I said it before: it's a big truck. The braking (which also helps recharge the batteries) is excellent, so I never found myself in too much trouble. There may be people who need this kind of vehicle, but the real problem is there are just not that many." And if you want insight into Detroit's chip-on-the-shoulder belligerence and product-related denial, well, here it is. "So before every hemp-wearing nut spills his green ice tea lemonade (no syrup) while in a hurry to send me a terse e-mail over his iPhone 3G about the evils of SUVs, let me tell you something: You're wrong. Americans may switch to smaller cars, but it's only because they have to; not because they want to." So now you know.

Technically, GM would have to build their rear wheel-drive Zeta-platform-based Cadillac and Buick flagships and THEN kill them for the cars to be D.O.A. Not to be pedantic (much), and keeping in mind the fact that I was the one who wrote that headline, if this rumor from GM Inside News is accurate, then GM's flagships are stillborn. In any case, it's another cut-and-paste moment for the ill-fated Zeta: on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again. And yes, I left one out. Or two. While we await confirmation, can there be any doubt that Car Czar Bob Lutz and his minions are an abject failure at product planning, lurching from crisis to crisis without any coherent long-term plans? I'm reading between the lines here, but it seems that even GM Inside News is fed-up with this "fluid" state of affairs. "If true, this is just yet another twist in the ever-changing product programs at GM. Recently there has been a lot of shuffling with the product programs to reflect the changing market and GM's current financial position. Stay tuned, I'm sure we'll have more soon!" Roger that. So to speak.

As 'Mater says in Cars, you hurt your what? I don't pretend to understand this hi-tech stuff, but I know a man who does. Know, I mean; not pretend to know. He's R. Colin Johnson of the EETimes (I wonder what he made of Wally's Eeeeeeva). Seems there's a nano (nano) technology breakthrough that lowers the cost of producing rare earth magnets (not magnets to pull Earth out of orbit, presumably). And that's a good thing, not a bad thing. "Rare earth magnets are essential to NASA and [the Defense Department] for small, high-performance motors and power generators that can operate in high-temperature environments," according to C.N. Chinnasamy of Northeastern University's Center for Microwave Magnetic Materials and Integrated Circuits (NUCMMMIC). "With our process, they can be manufactured much more economically." Got it? To paraphrase Ariel, oh Flounder, don't be such a nanoblade dipole! "Other techniques for creating supermagnets composed of nanoblade dipoles have succeeded for high operating temperatures, but the rare earth magnets performed poorly at start-up when the magnets operated at room temperature. However, Northeastern University researchers claim their formulation performs well both at room temperature and at very high operating temperatures, thereby permitting applications such as smaller motors with the same performance as larger engines." 

Sorting through the press releases that cross my e-transom on an hourly basis is one of those giddy-producing boredom deals. "Thor Announces Preliminary Sales for Quarter, 12 Months; Backlog." Who knew the Norse god was accountable to stockholders? "Electric Car Night Adds a Jolt to Walter P. Chrysler Museum Series." For that you got paid? But when the most recent 2009 Dodge Ram press release arrived, I was genuinely surprised to see its focus: safety. Yes, in addition to the usual list of 33 standard (and I mean that literally) safety features (airbags! seat belt reminder! auto-reverse sunroof!), Ram buyers can enjoy (if that's the right word) standard Four-wheel Anti-lock Brake System (ABS) and Electronic Stability Program (ESP) with Hill Start Assist (HSA) and Trailer Sway Control (TSC). OK, thanks for that. But who decided to market the new mucho macho Ram as the Volvo station wagon of full-sized pickups? To be fair– nope. That's all I got. 

As the father of four daughters, I'm SO going to buy one of these real-time GPS tracking devices when my progeny start driving. Hell, if the technology's there, I'm going for a skin implant. OK, I'm a little freaked by the idea that anyone can slip a matchbook-sized somethingorother into my car and know where I am in real time. But I guess that horse left the barn in, what, 1984? Anyway, students of psychology might enjoy this little testimonial from AnyTrack's website: "Our son is a new driver. The car has a curfew. When he was late one night and not answering his cell phone, we were very concerned. We were able to log on and see that he took the car out of town and went to a concert that was not allowed. We knew for a fact that he was there and as a result of that knowledge, we were able to restrict the car use until he became more responsible. The Any Track unit is easily hidden in the vehicle. It is not very big so it is easy to hide. I like being able to keep track of our car and know that he is where he says he will be." Anyone know if jammers for teens have hit the internet yet? 

For the last five years or more, GM PR has attempted to put a rosy glow on the latest sad stats from North American by saying, "Yeah, but we're kicking some serious ass in China!" From the beginning, TTAC has warned that A) the People's Republic will eventually game the market to favor 100% domestic carmakers B) GM is making the same branding mistakes in China that it's made elsewhere C) GM's Chinese growth has not kept pace with its rivals and D) what goes up, must come down. The New York Times reports that China's booming automotive market, indeed its whole economy, is entering the doldrums. "Demand is beginning to weaken for big-ticket purchases. J. D. Power and Associates just cut its forecast for car sales in China this year to 5.95 million — still up from 5.42 million last year, but much less of an increase than the company’s previous forecast of 6.2 million." And there are some interesting side-effects. "China’s slowing growth is one reason that gasoline prices have fallen in the United States, for example. Similarly, world prices for metals like copper, tin, zinc and aluminum have tumbled in the last several weeks, as voracious Chinese factories have closed, or cut back their consumption."  

The Detroit News reports that Senator Barack Obama wants to help Michigan et al. help him become president of the United States (surprise!). To that end, Barack will gladly use your tax money to encourage Detroit to, as my 14-year-old puts it, party like a Barack star. Speaking at the Lansing Center, "Obama proposed $4 billion in federal loans and loan guarantees to help the automakers meet his goal [of 1m hybrids by 2015]– a figure he first mentioned last month in a letter to United Auto Workers leaders — and a $7,000 tax credit to drivers who buy plug-in hybrids." That is, it has to be said, small beer. So Detroit's lackeys said it. "U.S. Rep. John Dingell, D-Dearborn, one of the auto industry's staunchest supporters in Washington, said the domestic companies could require $30 billion or more to meet the goal for their initiatives." Of course, if the real goal was more hybrids, why not let Toyota in on the action? Or the feds could just let the free market do its thing. Anyway… Obama also "modified" his position on domestic drilling (hey, sure, why not?), and proposed selling some oil from the U.S. strategic reserve [just before the election]. In case you were wondering… 

When it comes to public policy, I don't often agree with the automotive industry in general and Motown in specific. That's because the car biz is ready, willing and lobbying to suck on the federal tit whenever and wherever they can. But when it comes to federal Corporate Fuel Economy (CAFE) regulations, I agree: the system is absurd. As the otherwise deeply misguided GM Car Czar Bob Lutz said, it's like trying to get people to lose weight by forcing manufacturers to sell smaller shirts. Anyway, none of the automakers or their camp followers have the balls to simply call for CAFE's abolition. Instead, they continually work to game, undermine and otherwise manipulate the system to appear to support it. You know; in principle. And now The Wall Street Journal reports that even that's in jeopardy. At a National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) hearing on a new CAFE draft statement, "The auto industry said federal regulators are pushing too far, too fast in their effort to raise fuel-mileage rules [to 35mpg by 2020]. The complaints from the industry, which had previously voiced support for tougher standards, underscore how economic hardship is affecting a major policy debate.they reversing their former support by claiming hardship." It gets worse. According to Automotive News [sub], "The Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers questioned whether the statement was necessary, calling on NHTSA to reserve its right to not draft a statement at all." In other words, can we please torpedo this thing in private, like always? So, anyway, I sent an email to NHTSA.

In the beginning,TTAC had its TWAT: Ten Worst Automobiles Today. In the interests of positive PR, we changed the name of our reader-selected "award" to the "TTAC's Ten Worst." The re-christening worked out well; the mainstream media picked-up on the TWA. Much linkage ensued. And now it's time to choose TTAC's Ten Best Automobiles Going. Yes, that's TBAG. Well, it was TBAG. And then we changed THAT to Ten Best Autos (TBA). Which is almost as bad as TWA. So, people, we need some help. Yes, I know; you're about to do the coffee-through-the-nose thing with some extremely witty acronyms. Or some left field choices (the El Caminos?). By all means, fire away. But we seriously need some help with this. What can we call our awards that isn't boring OR offensive? OK, not THAT offensive. 

With great size comes great stupidity. General Motors' fall from grace– from world's largest and most profitable company to bailout bait– illustrates the point perfectly. And while it's about thirty years too early to suggest that GM's replacement will fall victim to the same size-related entropy, there are already hints that the profits powerhouse known as Toyota is capable of massive miscalculations. I speak here not of the full-size Tundra pickup, but of Scion, the brand that should have never made it out focus group.

Get this: it wasn't last week. It was the week before. GM's Veep of Global Badge Engineering made this comment in an interview with Just-auto [sub] on the 23rd of July at the London Auto Show [sorry we missed it]. Given the $15.5b hole that opened-up in GM's second quarter financial results on the following Friday, I guess you could say Maximum Bob's remarks constitute pre-cataclysmic (post-modern?) irony. Anyway, the winner of TTAC's first annual Bob Lutz Award offered the usual grist for our collective mill. "The US press is full of pontifical analysts on television [Huntley Brinkley?] saying that the real problem with General Motors is that they are just not producing the vehicles that the American public wants. That's a complete fiction. We are producing the vehicles that the American public wants, we just can't produce enough of them because of the sudden swing in demand where all of a sudden everyone wants small passenger cars and a year ago everybody wanted big V8 trucks. We can't turn on a dime like that, but we'll get past that and our future product programmes are all in the pipeline and continue unabated." So, will The Big 2.8 make it? "We have a rough spot to get through in terms of liquidity…" 

One of the reasons TTAC writers have a take-no-prisoners attitude: they know they're going to die. If you have a strong sense of morality, and accept the fact of your mortality, you realize you might as well make some noise before your time is up. To paraphrase Adlai Stevenson and Dylan Thomas, it's better to light a roman candle and curse the darkness than go gently into that good night. I never met Glenn Swanson face-to-face. I wouldn't have recognized him if I'd passed him on the street. But as writer, he was one of us. Glenn's sense of humor, passion, cynicism and perfectionism qualified him for duty. On Friday night, Glenn died of leukemia. He's the first of our writers to shuffle off this mortal coil. Obviously, he will not be the last. Meanwhile, Glenn will be missed. His spirit and work will be remembered by those who are not afraid to tell the truth about cars, and those who are willing to listen.

I like in-game advertising about as much as I like dealer-pimping license plate holders and badges. In the same way I'm happy to advertise my car dealer if he's wiling to fork over some cash for my personal automotive real estate, I'm all for in-game ads if the electronic entertainment's free, or at least heavily discounted. But no. While Grand Theft Auto keeps it real (by keeping product placements unreal), Midnight Club LA reveals that Rockstar is a complete whore, ready to sell my eyeballs to corporate America and charge me full whack for the privilege. OK, the extra money [allegedly] helps the game's designers make a better product. And I don't have to buy Midnight Club LA if I don't want to. Yada X 3. But I'm pissed that I can't prise the ads from the videogame or swap it out for a revenue neutral version. And I figured you might want a heads-up that DUB, TIS Modular (Wheels), Pizza Hut, Zaxby's (more fast food), The Coffee Bean, Pioneer, Quiksilver and BVLGARI are all supporting Rockstar's unconscionable advocacy of anti-social behavior. And that's just in this clip. And yes, that last bit was a head fake. It's all in good fun! Until someone puts an e-eye out.