Sorry; I went off on a major tangent. Let's try the on-message thing again. So… the podcast focused on Newsweek's list of eight vehicles Chrysler should kill. Me, I'm Machiavellian. Cut more deeply than you have to. So I'd terminate everything Chrysler makes except the 300. If you must, keep the Town and Country minivan. But make it the world's fanciest minivan. Move both models WAY upmarket. Why not? Who's representing American luxury? Caddy doesn't get it. Lincoln's dead. Once more into the breach, dear Chrysler! Dodge? If their current passenger car lineup proves anything, it's that Dodge can't build a competitive small or mid-sized car. No way Jose (or the Chinese equivalent). Just drop it. Build pickup trucks. Three sizes: small (remember small?), medium and friggin' gigantic. Done. Jeep? Kill everything except the Wrangler (two sizes) and the Grand Cherokee. Sound risky? Never was anything great achieved without danger. Anyway, who cares about cars, minivans or trucks? Boot'em Bob's first job should be booting them. Why is LaSorda still in situ? Why is Nardelli embarking on a full court press when he hasn't retired the losing team members? In fact, why haven't thousands of Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep white collar workers been fired? It's completely obvious to me– and Nicolo– that the only way to "cure" a diseased corporate culture is to leave it knee deep in blood. If Bob isn't true to his moniker, mark my words, all will be lost, both for Chrysler and Nardelli. As Big Mac said, "it is much more secure to be feared than to be loved."

GM vs. Toyota over alt. propulsion. Now it's Time vs. Newsweek over crap cars. Not to be outdone by Dan Neil's selection of the 50 Worst Cars of All Time for Time, Newsweek's Keith Naughton got a list of 8 Chryslers That've Outlived their Time. After an excellent article on Chrysler CEO Boot'em Bob Nardelli's speech at the Detroit Athletic Club ("Speaking without cue cards to a room full of automotive reporters, he was heavy on GE-speak, waxing on about his 'vertical learning curve' and 'granularity.'"), Naughton gets out the automotive cyanide. The models Naughton– I mean "industry analysts" would send to the crusher are the TTAC TWAT-winning Chrysler Aspen and Jeep Compass; the Jeep Liberty, Dodge Magnum, Nitro and Dakota; Chrysler Pacifica and Sebring. How many of these will make this year's TWATs? Stay tuned.

Regular readers of this site will know we've been monitoring the UK government's anti-car stance closely. But we didn't see this coming. After an article in the medical journal Lancet concluded that London would need to be completely car-free to meet its CO2 reduction goals, the idea has started to gain traction amongst British environmental groups and politicians. The report's author, James Woodcock of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, says the numbers don't lie. "Aside from cutting transportation emissions across London by 72 percent, shunning car journeys would decrease the risk of premature death in certain people by as much as 40 percent." At a press conference attended by Bloomberg, Woodcock's colleague Andrew Prentice suggested extending the scope of London's congestion charge zone into outer boroughs. He also recommended upping the charge to 50 or 100 pounds ($100 or $200) "to show people what the city would be like without traffic.'' The BBC reports that London Green Party member Jenny Jones has another idea: "I have asked the London mayor to do a feasibility study into creating a car free pedestrian zone in central London linking all the main squares and parks." 

California-based utility Pacific Gas & Electric (PG&E ) has formed a partnership with aspiring electric automobile manufacturer Tesla Motors to "further evolve" vehicle-to-grid (V2G) recharging technology. Tesla's Chief Technology Officer JB Straubel announced a new piece of jargon– MotorsSmart charging– and quickly moved to quash any idea that Tesla recharging would be a two-way e-street. "The vehicle does not provide power back to the grid. Instead, the vehicle charging rate is controlled remotely in order to support the operation of the grid or to best match load to the availability of intermittent renewable energy resources such as wind and solar." Huh? Did he just say that Tesla Roadsters' recharging can be automatically restricted to those times when the California power grid is running on renewable resources? Yup. "Tesla Motors' goal in developing V2G is to eventually [our emphasis] provide our customers with an option that could reduce their cost of electricity for vehicle charging while supporting greater penetration of renewable energy on the grid." Promises, promises. Meanwhile, PG&E gets a way to restrict encourage company-compatible recharging timing so that their grid isn't overwhelmed by plug-in vehicles. As if. If only?

My career at CNN prepared me for this work. Like TTAC, Ted's 24-hour news channel was an insatiable maw that required constant feeding. Miss a deadline? Never happened. Couldn't happen. You did the best you could within the time frame available and that was that. I soon discovered that quality was not a function of time. CNN's hourly newscasts were as good as the net's daily productions, if not better. Nor was money the deciding difference between "us" and "them". We had a hundredth of NBC's budget; yet we missed nothing. So what made it work? Contrary to some books on the subject, it wasn't esprit de corps— there was far too much alcohol, cocaine, envy and ambition for that. I reckon it was the sheer joy of having a voice. Of being able to say something without a stultifying bureaucracy reigning-in our style, creativity and passion. Obviously, that's changed since then. But freedom of expression has a home here at TTAC. So whenever I wonder how the Hell I'm going to raise this brand out of its ghetto with just one full-time staff member (me), I think back to those crazy days when everyone– everyone— said CNN wouldn't cut it. We didn't believe. We just enjoyed. In other words, sorry I missed yesterday's podcast Justin, and put this one up late. But you gotta admit: it IS fun. 

The Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers and National Automobile Dealers Association have launched a new website dividing the country into "car states" and "truck states." If that doesn't give the game away, the url might: AutoChoice.org. That's right: the carmakers (BMW Group, Chrysler, Ford Motor Company, General Motors, Mazda, Mitsubishi Motors, Porsche, Toyota and Volkswagen) are defending Americans' right to choose a light truck (SUVs, pickup, vans and minivans) instead one of them little high mileage runabouts. The villain of the piece: [unnamed] federal legislators who would regulate both car and truck fuel economy using the same formula. The official defense: "Continuing to meet the vehicle needs of recreation enthusiasts and American family vacations is a paramount concern of automakers. Pick-ups, SUVs and crossover vehicles are instrumental in meeting those needs." While it's kinda cool checking the percentage of car vs. light truck registrations by congressional district, I wonder why the industry is so worried about this potential facet of CAFE standards– as it doesn't have a hope in Hell of happening. So I called "The Alliance." 

The International Herald Tribune reports that the European Union's man in Afghanistan, former German commando Brigadier General Eichele, has given up trying to beef-up the national police force, and quit the theater. Seems bureacracy and corruption left him stuck at base; the EU executive delayed approving a budget for 70 armored cars, computers and office equipment. "We cannot travel outside Kabul because the armored-plated cars have not arrived," an EU diplomat told the Trib. The [theoretical] vehicles originally cost €110k a pop, but increased to €170k when security specifications changed. The commission went back to drawing up a new budget, issuing new tenders, etc. And then there's a turf war between the EU and NATO… 

Business Week reports that newly divorced Daimler's got the hots for the Asian market. On the eve of sending the FourTwo on its America adventure (via United Auto), Mercedes' CEO Rainer Schmueckle says he's contemplating selling the self-same ciwn faux Smart, but the vehicle faces the same "THAT'S not a Mercedes" headwind that's bedeviledty car in China and its nearby neighbors. Although the move is not exactly unanticipated (where else would you sell such a titchy car?), it's hardly a slam-dunk. Not only does China have its o the entire brand since birth– to the tune of billions of dollars in losses. Anyway, Schmeuckle is deeply impressed by the possibilities provided by Chinese Smarts: "We have a profound production base there now, primarily for the domestic market," he said. "It can't be ruled out that we might export from there to other Asian markets at some point." Now that's what we call confidence!

Contemplating yesterday's 2006 Census report on the average American's housing costs (via The New York Times), it appears that U.S. automakers' fears about the effects of the housing market on car sales are far from greatly exaggerated. The stats reveal that half of U.S. renters and more than one third of mortgage holders spent at least 30 percent of their gross income on housing. That's up two percent or 1.5 million households from '05. A staggering fourteen percent of mortgage-holders spent at least half their income on housing in 2006, up from 13 percent from the year previous. As The Grey Lady says, "The rising housing burden cuts into the money people have available for other expenses and anticipated the rise in foreclosures." To see how badly this trend will hit the auto industry, keep an eye on California sales. The Eureka state tops the list of mortgage borrowers forking over more than 30 percent of their income for housing.

The UK's Hello magazine reports that Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond crashed a BMW 330 Dti Sport during an endurance race at Silverstone. Even though the "Hamster" is famous for crashing a jet car at 288mph, sustaining brain injuries and returning to full health, this incident doesn't really have what it takes to make it to the top of the media pile (i.e. death or more serious injury). Hence Hello, a magazine predicated on the simple belief that millions of people want to see what kind of wallpaper celebrities prefer. But you really have to read Hecklerspray's blog on the story. Regarding the information that fellow Top Gear's top Jeremy Clarkson consoled the The Hamster after his latest fender bender, Stuart Heritage writes "Dear lord, hasn't the poor man suffered enough? But, yeah, thanks a lot for that last sentence, Hello – we're going to hold you personally responsible for all the screaming night terrors we're bound to be saddled with for the rest of our lives after summoning up that grotesque mental image."  

During my brief stint in British advertising, I had the distinct pleasure of working with one Paul Harvey Douglas. Paul was the world’s best headline writer. He could distill an entire advertising campaign down to a single sentence, a phrase, a word. I wonder what PHD would have made of Lexus’ ad for its new F-Series automobiles. “What is F?” the two-page Autoweek center spread asks. “F is everything you thought we weren’t,” it answers. I could almost hear Paul’s derisive snort. “F means their brand’s in ‘effing trouble,” he would have pronounced. Too right, mate.

Audi's Q7 arrived at America's SUV party just as the clean-up crew were packing up and heading for home. Despite the timing, questionable looks and hideous fuel efficiency (12/17), it's a hit. Year-to-date, Audi's moved 14,458 Q7s, outselling every other American Audi save the A4. Automotive News [AN, sub] reports that Audi's looking to capitalize on this success by fitting that Billy the Big Mouth Bass snout with a 3.6-liter, 280-hp engine mated to an electric engine. The Volkswagen Group's box fresh gas – electric parallel hybrid will up the Q7's mpg count to a claimed 23 mpg (highway? combine? AN doesn't say). If that doesn't float your boat– the Q7 is a heavy old girl– Ingolstadt will also offer a 50-state compliant 3.0-liter V-6 turbodiesel Q7 producing "about" 230 hp and 400 ft.-lbs. of torque. AN couldn't get an mpg number for the oil burner, but repeats Audi's claim of a 600-mile range. NOW will you take it off road?

I suppose once you get past the idea of a "bait car" as a form of entrapment, there's nothing wrong with sweetening the lure with a laptop,  iPod, cell phone or some other piece of easily fenced consumer electronics on display. And if those items blow up when the prospective perp moves them, leaving the criminal "disorientated" and covered in bright red smoke and dye, well why not? As 24dash.com reports, not only is the methodology effective, it provides PR-hungry public servants with a highly appropriate metaphor. "I want every criminal to know that if they break into someone’s car locally there is a very good chance they will be caught red handed," Hammersmith and Fulham [London] Councillor Greg Smith opined. "And be covered in bright red dye as proof off their crimes.” Bonus! The indelible dye's provided by 3SI security systems ("the leader in currency protection"). It transfers onto the electrical equipment itself, "meaning middle men and fences handling stolen goods pay for their crimes as well as the original thief." Which begs the question: how did a bait car thief evade the police in the first place?

Over the weekend, I ate at little Rhody's most celebrated (i.e. expensive) death-by-meat-house. The experience was more-or-less as expected. As I left, the waiter confronted me with his best crestfallen/concerned expression. "Was everything all right?" he inquired. In other words, why'd you stiff me? As I'd left 10 percent of a very hefty tab, I ruled his plea out of order. Besides, the bastard had [temporarily] confiscated my knife. MY knife: a prized folding lock-back whose sharp edge makes slicing meat as easy and sensually satisfying as corner carving in a Boxster S. "Oh no, you need this!" he'd said, removing MY knife and proffering a cutting instrument straight out of Pirates of the Caribbean, with a blade as dull as Congressional testimony. In general, I don't mind surrendering authority to someone who knows what they're doing. But when someone's a bully AND an idiot, well, like I said, the waiter had removed MY knife. This reaction also explains why I detest car dealers. Sounds like Justin feels the same way. 

Business Week (BW) reports that VW of America's newly annointed boss Stefan Jacoby wants to resurrect the ill-fated Phaeton luxury sedan. The Phaeton was a hugely expensive machine– both in terms of development costs and its $75k to $95k sticker– positioned against BMW and Mercedes. Customers were lined-up none deep. And yet Jacoby insists dropping the Phaeton was a big mistake–  that should be corrected. "A world class luxury sedan that doesn't show the luxury all over the place and that could have the only fuel efficient 12 cylinder diesel engine… that's funky." Get down with it 'bro! Anway, fans of the brand who despair that VW will once again be off chasing moonbeams should note that Jacoby is a consummate corporate player (check the anecdote at the end of the BW post). The Phaeton was VW Chairmain (now supervisory board chairman) Ferdinand Piech's pride and joy. File this one under lip service and stand by for those small, well-built, frugal cars you've been wanting since Ozzie Osbourne's lead guitarist buzzed him in an airplane– and crashed into a house.