One day, an admirer asked Herr Doktor Sigmund Freud if his favorite tobacco product was a phallic symbol. “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar,” Freud reportedly replied. By the same token, when Porsche North America announced that they’d turned their back on the Detroit auto show because it’s a waste of money, the German automaker turned their back on the Detroit auto show because it’s a waste of money.

So that's it: deal done. Yesterday, federal regulators cleared DaimlerChrysler's suffix sale to Cerberus Capital Management. In the absence of any immediate change to the status quo, the United Auto Workers (UAW) and the Canadian Auto Workers (CAW) couldn't be happier with their new overlords. Chrysler dealers have also met with the new bosses and sworn their fealty. So it's one big happy family, all pulling together for their mutual health and happiness. And if you believe that, I've got some Ford stock I'd like to sell.

Welcome to the next step in the The Truth About Cars’ evolution: TrueDelta spec and pricing data. (If you don’t see a button marked “Get Nissan SE-R Spec V Pricing” above the SE-R review, click on “Classic” in the header, and then click on “Improved” in the top right corner of the header.) From now on, visitors can use TrueDelta data to check vehicle specifications, get new car prices and make an “apples to apples” price comparison to other models. It’s part of TTAC’s ongoing commitment to provide the web’s most trustworthy automotive content.

Now that Ford has put the remainder of its Premier Automotive Group (PAG) on EBay, it's time to evaluate the soon-to-jettisoned divisions' prospects. As "going concerns," Land Rover and Jaguar are like a cartoon character who just ran off a cliff; the only thing that keeps them from plunging into oblivion is [momentary] ignorance that they're about to plunge into oblivion. Business wise, Volvo is the Daffy Duck of the group: a major star that somehow graduated to the role of successful sidekick. As brands, well, that's a different matter. Or, as it turns out, not.    

It’s easy to get caught up in Inside Baseball speculation about the future of international automotive imports. Will a Chinese-made subcompact take the Western world by storm, or will Renault’s Integrated Manufacturing System (RIMS) venture in India eventually sate the industrialized world’s insatiable appetite for small, cheap, frugal cars? Meanwhile, we hear little or nothing about traffic flowing the other way: the millions of used cars flooding into the third world from developed nations. The dirty truth about this trade is just that: the vast majority of these cars are pollution-spewing death traps. 

So Ford runs an ad campaign pitting an all wheel-drive Fusion against a front wheel-drive Toyota Camry and Honda Accord. An invited group of customers scores the Fusion tops in styling, handling, performance and “fun to drive.” Emboldened by Ford’s “dare to compare” strategy, Saturn decides to launch a “Side-by-Side-by-Side Test Drive.” Dealers are instructed to offer customers some seat time in the Aura, Camry and Accord. It’s gutsy! It’s feisty! It’s ridiculous.

The Toyota Prius hybrid has been the high-mileage low-emissions darling of the chattering classes and their Hollywood pals for some time. Now, suddenly, sales have shot up, and it seems that the Prius is about to become a mainstream motor. While the little eco-warrior that could still doesn't account for a significant fraction of Ford F-150 sales, the question remains: is the Prius' recent sales surge a fluke?

GM had an excellent May. Despite the title of this series, I’m not going to dwell on the fact that The General’s ten percent year-on-year sales increase is actually a rebound from a disastrous May ’06 (overall sales are still down 3.2 percent compared to the first five months of last year). And I won’t bother pointing out that the majority of GM’s one percent market share gain came out of Ford’s two percent market share loss. Or that GM’s “rising tide lifts all boats” progress pales in comparison with the sales tsunami that Toyota’s [still] riding deep into the American heartland. No I want to focus on debt.

Japanese society is known for its rigid social stratification. Depending on the listener’s relative status, there are four ways to say “this is a book." Individuals within this system are well aware that anyone who moves upwards from their "natural" place in the pecking order risks ridicule, jealousy and attack. Hence the ancient Japanese proverb: “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down." Automotively- speaking, Toyota is the tall nail these days, and boy, is it getting hammered.

When it comes to police roadblocks designed to catch drunk drivers, the public is conflicted . On one hand, there are plenty of people who believe that any anti-drunk driving law enforcement practice that saves even one life is fully justifiable. On the other hand, many Americans consider a police roadblock a quasi-fascist police tactic: an unconstitutional violation of their legal right to travel without facing [what they consider to be] indiscriminate search and seizure. Guess which way the American Beverage Association (ABI) comes down on the issue.

Was the Hummer brand really born four years ago? The Army-inspired H2 now occupies a fading mindspace. It’s a relic from a time when America’s foreign policy problems were out there, somewhere. When gasoline was like Gatorade: a cheap, endless commodity that hydrated the hopes and dreams of a nation. Post-911, post-Katrina, post-Iraq, the H2 somehow remains. But not for long. According to our spies, GM has slated the gas-gargling mondo-SUV for termination. What’s THAT all about?

As GM tosses the last pieces of furniture into the cash conflagration burning down their house, you are going to see some seriously weird shit. Saturn’s new tagline is the most recent anomaly from the End of Days department: “Rethink American.” Given that the new Saturn Astra will be built in Belgium and the new Saturn Vue will be built in Mexico, you’ve got to wonder what bright spark (no concept car intended) OK’ed an ad campaign based on post-modern irony. Oh wait; they’re serious. They want customers to equate Saturn's Opelized lineup with American patriotism. How bizarre is that?

“Hi. I’m Jerry Rich.”

As I shake the golf course owner’s hand through the window of our rented Mustang, Rich’s gaze falls on my wife’s jeans.

“You got a hole in your jeans,” he remarks, eyeing my wife’s strategically distressed apparel. 

“I paid good money for those holes,” Sam retorts.

GM’s Board of Bystanders just voted to allow its top execs to resume trading their company’s shares. GM’s big dogs have until May 21 to buy, sell, or buy and then sell their company-subsidized stock. According to Bloomberg News, it’s “another sign of confidence at GM.” Viewed another way, it’s a sign of impending doom. This fall, after GM fails to wrest any significant concessions from the United Auto Workers (UAW), after the full extent of GM’s cash conflagration becomes apparent to the Street, bankruptcy will once again loom large and GM stock will tank.

On Friday, Senator Carl Levin condemned a draft Commerce Committee bill revising federal Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) standards. The bill would raise the required average to 28.5 mpg by 2015 and 35 mpg by 2020, with four percent annual increases thereafter. The Michigan Democrat threatened to filibuster the bill. In fact, Levin should shut the Hell up. If passed as is, the Commerce bill would create The Mother of All Loopholes.