One of our Best and Brightest offered the following observation:

Isn’t there another problem lurking for Presidential Motors?

Is my grasp of history wrong (or did I just live for a while in the wrong part of the country) but is not there a perception or urban legend or canard, how to put this gracefully, that Fords were for rednecks, and that Ford dealers were rednecks, and that GM, especially Pontiac and Cadillac, was much more open to the idea of having minority-owned dealerships, and that that went back to the early days of both Ford and GM?

When I lived in the South, I was told “Pontiac” meant “Poor Old N[egro] Thinks It’s a Cadillac.”

What if “too many” of the dealers whose contracts are about to be impaired outside the bankruptcy process and in clear violation of the clear text of the Constitution, turn out to be minorities?

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C’mon. This whole Fiat and Chrysler hook-up is a joke, right? I mean, what could possibly motivate an Italian car company that got its ass kicked seven ways to Sunday in the US market for peddling sorry-ass rust buckets and [almost] providing some of the worst dealer service in the history of four-wheeled transportation to re-enter the fray under the Chrysler banner? That’s like Kodak teaming-up with Polaroid to make high end digital cameras for the Japanese. Like Cambridge’s instant photo folk, ChryCo’s business model is so busted all they’ve got left is an iconic brand name (Jeep). And there are still plenty of Americans who know that Fiat stands for “Fix It Again Tony.” So what’s it all about Alfetta?

The preparations for GM’s June 1 Chapter 11 filing continue apace. The Financial Times reports that the ailing American automaker wants [to use federal funds] to pay hundreds of “key” suppliers while it’s dividing itself into Michael (good) and Garth (bad) GM. The FT’s experts reckon The General will get permission to do so to maintain its status as a going concern, as the artist formerly known as the world’s most profitable corporation enters the court’s protection. (No mention was made of political considerations, but they’re there too.) But no matter how you slice it, this is gonna be a cluster-you-know-what of epic proportions. To wit: “A judge could also force GM to prove that individual suppliers would stop operating or shipping goods if they were not paid, rather than letting GM use the money as it sees fit. The critical vendor legal doctrine can be ‘subject to abuse and unfairness’, one attorney said. Roughly two-thirds of GM’s suppliers also sell parts to Ford or Chrysler, and some may be able to absorb late or reduced payments. ‘It’s a game of chicken,’ one attorney said. ‘How do you figure out which suppliers really will stop supplying tomorrow and which won’t?'”

It’s a hard knock life for a truth-telling autoblogger. On one hand we have auto-related websites sitting in the happy-clappy pews—whose main contribution to veracity is reprinting PR releases for dissection and pointing us towards source material. On the other hand, we have Automotive News—who can’t ask a proper follow-up question even when the news source simply repeats the only word spoken in Mel Brooks’ “Silent Movie.” And then we have the big boys: The Wall Street Journal, New York Times and Bloomberg. Distressingly, these behemoths have shown a remarkable willingness to cite unnamed sources as the basis for their reports on the Motown Meltdown. Not that anyone (but us) is keeping track but the resulting stories are usually misleading PR put-up jobs, that turn out to be dead wrong. The whole “sale of GM brands” story is a perfect example . . .

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You may recall that TTAC commentator stephada asked TTAC’s Best and Brightest whether he should buy a Porsche Carrera S or 4S. Decisions. Decisions. He sent us a heads-up on the process, and the result.

The Wall Street Journal reports that the firm owned by the head of the Presidential Task Force On Automobiles (PTFOA) is under investigation for accepting $1.1m in illegal kickbacks. “A Securities and Exchange Commission complaint says a ‘senior executive’ of Mr. Rattner’s investment firm met in 2004 with a politically connected consultant about a finder’s fee. Later, the complaint says, the firm received an investment from the state pension fund and paid $1.1 million in fees. The ‘senior executive,’ not named in the complaint, is Mr. Rattner, according to the person familiar with the matter.” Yes, well, this the same Wall Street Journal that repeated quoted a “person familiar with the matter” that a pre-bailout GM – Chrysler merger was on the cards. OK, so are you ready for this? Sure? “The SEC alleges in its complaint that a meeting was arranged between the senior Quadrangle executive and a brother of New York’s then-deputy comptroller to discuss acquiring the DVD distribution rights to the low-budget film, ‘Chooch.’ [22 views when I posted it] The deputy comptroller, now under indictment, and his brothers produced the movie.” How much do you reckon they paid for it?

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CEO Bob Nardelli is punting. Boot ‘Em Bob has told the troops that Chrysler would cede control of its board and senior management to Fiat if the two automakers “merge.” “The U.S. government and Fiat would appoint a board of directors for Chrysler, with a majority of them independent directors who are not employees of either automaker,” Nardelli said in an internal memo intercepted by Reuters. “The board will have the responsibility to appoint a chairman. The board also will select a CEO with Fiat’s concurrence.” Seeing as Nardelli walked away from Home Depot with over $240 million in severance pay, one wonders how much it would cost management (that’s Uncle Sam now) to get rid of him this time ’round. Cerberus exits stage right. American Leyland enters stage left. Anyway, here’s the weird part: Reuters is a bit more specific about the government’s participation in this newly formed Chrysler Board than Automotive News, even though Reuters credits Automotive News for the info.

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Normally, the MSM “sells” whatever the automakers are selling. Something to do with advertising, perhaps. The autoblogosphere—no stranger to junketry and the press car gravy train—is not unfamiliar with this paradigm. You’d be forgiven for thinking that Chrysler’s incipient collapse would force both camps to at least mention the domestic’s forthcoming dissolution when hyping a new model. You know, “As Chrysler struggles to survive, the company has announced plans to produce an electric roadster, which has less chance of seeing the light of day than a Palestine Mole Rat.” To its credit, Autobloggreen almost goes there: “It looks like the Dodge Circuit EV may have won the ‘who wants to be the first electric Chrysler concept to go into production’ contest. Although they still haven’t officially made an announcement, Chrysler’s viability plan did list an ‘EV Roadster’ as part of their 2010 product line. Based on the lightweight Lotus Europa and using drivetrain parts pilfered from UQM . . . its 150 to 200 mile range is significantly higher than many other electric vehicles in the works and should add to its appeal . . . Since the Circuit will probably change somewhat as it makes the transition to a production vehicle, tell us in the comments section what you would like to see in the sales-floor version.” I’m thinking cupholders. You?

The general thrust of the General Motors Death Watch series—the American automaker is headed for bankruptcy—has been proven right. In all but the technical sense, GM is already bankrupt. It depends entirely on $19.8 billion worth of federal life support (a.k.a. “loans”) to survive. Until June 1. At which point the re-constituted American Leyland will need more federal “investment.” Same again? Sure! More to the point, it’s been over a year since I’ve seen a comment promising “See you at Death Watch 2345!” But I’ve made a lot of mistakes along the way. I was sure that bankrupt former GM parts supplier Delphi would be the final straw. Somehow, the zombie parts maker has kept sufficient distance from the former mothership to avoid delivering the killer blow (which Wagoner may have been snorting). Uh-oh, here’s comes another bullet! And here comes the Presidential Task Force on Automobiles (PTFOA), ’cause Uncle Sam’s favorite automaker can’t spend over $100 million without Steve Rattner’s say so.

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Don’t forget idle. Whether Bimmers, Audis or Lambos, V10s sound like the Four Hoarse Men of the Opera-calypse at full chat. But I’ve yet to hear one that sounded even vaguely stimulating at idle. (Remember the SRT-10 pickup?) On the other hand, the E39 BMW M5 V8. Or . . . what?

And if you believe that, you’ll believe GM’s Marketing Maven Mark LaNeve’s denial that the Presidential Task Force on Automobiles (PTFOA) is pressuring GM to axe GMC and Pontiac. “The strategy we laid out for you [in February] is still the strategy,” LaNeve, GM’s vice president of vehicle sales, service and marketing, said today in an interview with Automotive News. “Are we working it, tweaking it, examining every aspect of it? Yes, but nothing has changed with our strategy.” In fact, reports that “GMC is going away are just unfounded, unsubstantiated and untrue.” OK, so either Bloomberg‘s “people” got it wrong or LaNeve’s lying (gasp!). And here’s one from left field: maybe the PTFOA has cut LaNeve out of the loop. After all, they cut off his former boss at the knees. Given LaNeve’s part in the destruction of eight GM brands, and his assertion today that Buick and GMC are profitable—very profitable—what possible use does GM’s current masters have for such a spectacularly lousy manager?

OK, so, it’s been one of those days. The site went a bit wobbly this morning, then crashed like a smart into a brick wall. Only many, many times. The bad news: we’re still not 100 percent on the technical side. The New Content Notification System—which spits out 11k “heads-up” emails when we have a new editorial or review—has been decommissioned until further notice. (I suggest RSS as a stop gap, and I’ll make sure I Twit regularly until normal service is restored.) And yes, there may be more service interruptions in the days ahead. I appreciate your patience and understanding during this time. The good news . . .

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