It’s not easy to pinpoint the moment when a story makes the transition from speculation to prediction to assumption. But I think I’ve done it. Autoblog is reporting the usual yada yada yada about Cadillac’s product plans [via the Detroit Bureau]. Sub-CTS this, Euro-wagon that, new flagship the other thing. In the midst of the normal regurgitated spin, smoke and mirrors, Chris Shunk let’s this one drop: “The real question for Cadillac is whether or not GM will be able to afford the new models. If the General goes into bankruptcy, nobody really knows what stands to get cut. Shannon optimistically says that GM’s brand bloodletting could work in Cadillac’s favor, though. With fewer brands to feed, GM’s luxury division could finally get the attention it so richly deserves.” Gentlemen, GM’s “We Won’t File C11” has officially jumped the shark.
Station wagon lovers rejoice! Both of you! I kid . . . a bit. Our sources reveal that Audi has decided to bring a smaller, cheaper version of the previous, slow-selling Allroad back to the US market to compete with the 2010 Subaru Outback. Audi will make the official announcement at a forthcoming US dealers’ meeting in Spain. (No bailouts, no problems.) “Audi believes there’s a large number of US Outback owners who’re tired of the brand,” our man reports. “Customers who want the same sort of vehicle, only better.” Well he would say that: he’s in line for one of the first models. Pricewise, expect the A4-based US Allroad (as opposed to the previous gen A6-based model) to start where the Outback ends: in the upper 30s, lower 40s. (As does the A4 sedan.) Timing-wise, Audi hopes to pip the new Outback to the post, putting the wagon into showrooms in September.
I had a long conversation with Marcy Wheeler, the woman behind the JPMorgan Chase boycott. As I reported yesterday, the action’s designed to force the bailout-fed bank to take a ChryCo debt cramdown to “keep 300,000 workers employed” and “protect America’s industrial base.” Unlike the organization supporting her cause, Ms. Wheeler really knows her onions, from Cerberus’ perfidy to the importance of the FIAT deal to gas prices and the argument for a “soft landing.” Wheeler made as good a case for federal intervention in the US auto industry as I’ve ever heard (even though she insisted that shit-canning GM’s CEO didn’t constitute federal intervention in the US auto industry). CNN reveals that the majority of Americans aren’t buying ANY of it (assuming of course someone’s selling it). “Three out of four Americans would rather see General Motors and Chrysler face bankruptcy than watch the government pour yet another round of bailout cash into the big U.S. automakers.” Uh-oh.
The Presidential Task Force on Automobiles (PTFOA) wants GM to get its NSFW together by June 1. To that end, the PTFOA is pressuring GM’s bondholders to take The Mother of All Buzz Cuts. As The Wall Street Journal reports, that means no cash or federal guarantees. “The Treasury Department is pushing GM to offer its bondholders, who are owed $29 billion, a small portion of shares in the company. That’s a sharp cut from a bond-exchange offer GM made two weeks ago, which included about $8.5 billion in cash and new debt in the company as well as 90% of GM’s stock, said people familiar with the terms. The Treasury, which has pumped $13.4 billion into GM to keep it afloat [plus $4.4 billion to come in June], believed the earlier plan was too generous to bondholders, said people familiar with the matter.” Well then, the PTFOA can put GM in C11 and be done with it, right? I mean, what pressure can they possibly bring to bear on GM’s bondholders now that water-boarding is illegal? Actually, this is a post-C11 wrangle.
Throw out your copy of WardsAuto “Interior of the Year” awards. The Audi A5 with the S Line seats is four-wheeled Hammer time: the world’s best automotive interior. Nobody can touch the way this cabin looks, works, feels and smells. OK, when you use the Audi A5’s thumbwheel to scroll through your iPod tunes, if you don’t select a new tune within the allotted time, the menu reverts to the song playing, which could be six clicks back. Other than that, I can’t think of anything wrong with the A5’s cabin. Yes, even the dreaded MMI mouse thingie has won me over. If you want a reason to admire/buy/worship/savor the Audi A5 3.2 Quattro, there you go. Otherwise, well, I have issues. For example. . .
As predicted here, the Obama administration is about to buy 17,600 “fuel efficient vehicles” from The Big 2.8. Uncle Sam will spend $285 million of the $787 billion stimulus bill to prop up ailing American automakers. Coincidentally enough, the deal will now go down by GM’s June 1 restructuring deadline. “By swapping out less [Ed. less?!] efficient federal vehicles for new hybrid and fuel efficient ones, this strategy will reduce gasoline consumption by 1.3 million gallons per year and prevent 26 million pounds of carbon dioxide from entering the atmosphere,” the White House said in a statement. So, you ask, what constitutes fuel efficient? Hybrids? Don’t be silly. The D2.8 don’t have enough production capacity for that action. And the answer is . . . ANYTHING! Just as long as the new vehicles are A) built by Chrysler, Ford or GM and B) at least 10 percent more efficient on average than those being replaced. Whoa! Ten percent! If I worked for any of the transplants, I would be angry as NSFW right now. They did everything right and the government rewards the guys who screwed the pooch. Yes, I know: the governments have been buying domestics for years. But still.
While GM has been cutting back on its sports sponsorships left and right—to the point where Car and Driver’s April Fool’s story that Chevy’d pulled out of NASCAR was too credible to be funny—it’s good to know that The Blue Oval Boyz are still deeply enmeshed in the the world’s most exciting sport. Here’s a montage some of the “hotties” of curling (a blogger’s characterization, but who am I do disagree?). How many can you name? Special credit if you’re not from Canada.
Fair disclosure: I’ve just finished an e-mail correspondence a Ward’s employee who insulted my professional honor. On her or off her? Definitely on her. That’s the best offer I’ve had all week. But seriously folks, if my expense account hadn’t suddenly disappeared, I’d send these guys the animated version of Atlas Shrugged. As Dash Parr (a.k.a. Incredible) moaned, saying every one’s special is like saying no one’s special. I mean, eleven winners? “All 35 [considered] vehicles were divided into six car and truck segments based on price. One winner is named for each of the six categories, plus special-achievement honorees are selected in five other areas. The 11 awards carry equal weight.” And I’m sure that’s exactly what you told the manufacturers so honored. Who are . . .
I’ve never noticed Poornima Gupta’s byline before. But I’ve sure noticed it now. The Reuters story “Ford says has no interest in Chrysler brands” could well be the most inane piece of non-journalism I’ve ever seen emerge from an auto show. This is news? C’mon. It’s not even grammatical (go get ’em, Jeff!). “Ford Motor Co (F.N) has no interest in acquiring any Chrysler assets or brands if the automaker is forced into bankruptcy, the president of Ford’s Americas unit said on Wednesday. ‘We’re focused right now on merging Ford around the world right now. We’re focusing on Ford, so no,’ Mark Fields said on the sidelines of the New York International Auto Show.” Seriously. She asked him that question? What ChryCo brands did she think Ford should pick-up? With what money? Still, I like this bit: “‘We do have a significant amount of liquidity and based on our assumptions … we have no plans to access any of the emergency taxpayer funds,’ Fields said.” Define “emergency.” And anyone who uses the phrase “slash cash” gets a mulligan. Or is that a mullet?
At the New York Auto Show, Susan Docherty, GM’s North America vice president for Buick-Pontiac-GMC, attempted to defend GM’s portfolio (she should have a word with Sisyphus on that task). The Detroit Free Press reports that Docherty put GM’s brand strategy (or lack thereof) into perspective during the intro for the hideous GMC Terrain (which, absent bankruptcy, would bring GM’s five-passenger SUV total to . . . in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track). She said Chevy and Cadillac are global brands; and there are US buyers who want something in between mass market and high end. “There are customers out there who are not interested in a volume brand but also don’t want to pay for a luxury product,” she said. Yes way. “In its marketing-speak, the Equinox ‘blends function and style into a very sporty, yet upscale compact crossover,’ while the Terrain is ‘an appealing choice for existing traditional SUV customers.'” Both of them?
Reuters would have us believe that it has “sources” close to GM’s federally mandated sale of its boat anchor brand: HUMMER. “Three bidders remain for General Motors Corp’s Hummer [sic] brand, two sources with knowledge of the matter said, adding that current offers range from $100 million to $200 million in cash, in addition to other commitments. None of the bidders are automakers. One bidder is from the United States and the other two are from overseas, the sources said, adding that the bidders include private equity and wealthy individuals.” Folks, let history be our guide.
“Today, JP Morgan Chase has sent a signal to the American workforce that they are more interested in churning greedy profits than saving hardworking families from poverty and joblessness,” said Jane Hamsher, founder of FireDogLake.com. “By closing out our Chase accounts and slicing up our credit cards, we’ll be signaling back to the bank that we are interested in rescuing the middle class and preventing Chase from lining its pockets. Boycott JP Morgan Chase today, and save a working American family.”
While I await direct contact with the plastic snipper (robertfarago1@gmail.com), I called Progress Michigan for a little insight into the organization and their cause. After all, if The Detroit News thinks it’s a big story, it must be a big story, right? Define “big.” To that end, I had a little chat with Emma Richardson, PM’s freelance writer. “We’re focusing on saving American jobs and the middle class,” Ms. Richardson opined. As for how bailout-sucking Chase threatens those jobs, and the reasons behind the bank’s decision not to get a buzz cut, let’s just say Ms. Richardson is slightly uninformed.
According to Google Analytics, thetruthaboutcars.com has bested the 1 million unique visits per month threshold by 819 visits. Although we’ll dip back down below the mark as our average gets dinged by the weekend fall off, huzzah! We achieved this milestone via 562,744 readers generating 2.28 pages per stop-on-by, racking-up 2,285,492 monthly page views. (Despite the picture, I trust we’re piqued, rather than peaked.) Not bad for a website that began life six years or so ago with zero visitors and no page views. Anyway, it’s not all about agglomerating eyeballs. Our average time on site stat (a.k.a. “stickiness”) clocks-in at 3:29. And we have 11,569 subscribers to our New Content Notification System—who don’t flip out when I send multiple email alerts by mistake. And there’s my real source of pride: TTAC’s engaged, alert, informed and passionate community of writers and readers. It’s you who “own” the TTAC brand of no-holds-barred rants, reviews and blogs. In the upcoming weeks, I will perform my duties with due diligence, protecting my many masters, knowing that positive changes are afoot. Until then, thanks to all of you for reading—and telling—the truth about cars.
Just kidding. I mean, both parts of the story are true: Daimler workers are protesting and Mercedes is NSFW-canning the 6.2something liter version of the M3-chasing CLK. In the case of the Daimler workers, they’re doing what German workers do: take to the streets to protest the slightest roll-back in pay or bennies. Oh, did you think this was a union protest? Nein. “Workers wearing cardboard masks of chief executive Dieter Zetsche’s face carried collection boxes as they protested against pay cuts of up to 14 per cent for the company’s 73,000 white-collar staff. They are also being asked to reduce their working week by up to five hours.” As for Daimler’s assembly workers, they’re being gummed to death. “The car maker has also put 50,000 factory workers in automotive production on shorter working hours, and plans the same for another 18,000 commercial vehicle workers after Easter.” Same money, less hours? Yeah, that’ll work. Meanwhile, back to the Galactica! It looks like AMG’s maximum thrust models (apologies to Peter North) are due for a major cutback.
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