When Barack Obama made his state of the American auto industry speech, industry watchers lampooned the President for being the “Salesman-in-Chief.” More than a few members of the automotive punditocracy supported the idea, but said BO made a bad job of it. The Autoextremist led the charge, lambasting the Prez for using the word Voldemort—I mean “bankruptcy” in public. The Detroit News auto editor has followed the president’s lead, switching from cheerleader to salesman. And a damn good one too! (By his own admission.) “When you cruise around Macomb County in an ‘Inferno Orange’ Camaro SS. People make U-turns and follow you into parking lots. They ask if they can sit in it and want to know all the trim levels. Chevy was kind enough to drop one off for me over the weekend, and I probably sold more of the muscle car for the General than any Chevy dealer in town.” Hang on; did Chevy drop off a person or a car? [apologies to Jeff Puthuff] So . . . Manny ends his tired-aid by with a small dick joke.
Posts By: Robert Farago
Holy NSFW. When Toyota’s No. 1 American executive steps up to the microphone and declares that his employer’s ready for the fallout from a GM Chapter 11, you might as well stamp “done deal” on the, uh, deal. The AP reports that “Toyota Motor Sales USA President Jim Lentz says his company shares about two-thirds of its 500 parts suppliers with GM. . . only a small number of Toyota suppliers are critically short on cash.” Of course, we knew that already. Both the GM and the supplier thing. But still. You gotta wonder: is Jim Lentz sticking the knife in GM to goose ToMoCo’s April and May sales. According to Automotive News [sub], Lentz says US auto sales may rise in the second quarter. Well they will for someone.
Regular readers know that I’m resolutely anti-auto show. Long before the current international auto industry meltdown led Nissan, Mitsubishi, Land Rover, Rolls-Royce, Porsche et al. to pull out of the North American International Auto Show, I proclaimed the events an enormous waste of time, money and effort. And boring. And outmoded. And so I will again, as I go talking-head-to-talking-head with CNBC’s resident Motown apologist Phil LeBeau (8:30 p.m. EST). In terms of autoblogospherical representation, CNBC is usually Jalopnik’s patch. I’m guessing Ray wasn’t ready to step up and criticize his bestest best friends at this most wonderful time of the year. Either that or he’s speed dialing CNBC right now, and I’ll get a call any second telling me to stand down. UPDATE: view the segment here.
Checking in with Jalopnik, the just-released specs for the new Jeep Grand Cherokee boast that its Quadra Lift air suspension can elevate the Jeep’s body from Parking Mode’s 4.5″ ground clearance to Off-Road 2’s 11.1″ (obvious joke deleted). So does that qualify the Grand Cherokee for “real Jeep” status? I mean, we are talking about an SUV with a fully independent suspension. Yes, I know: most of the brand’s lineup sport a similar set-up and would fall apart just looking at The Rubicon. But that doesn’t make it right, does it? Jeep’s brand managers are pro-actively defensive on the topic, claiming that the new vehicle “Hits the Sweet Spot of Real-world Capability and On-road Refinement.” I reckon that’s code for Soccer Moms Über Alles (it does sit on a Mercedes ML platform). And lastly, is there anyone who doesn’t think Chrysler is about to go Tango Uniform? Their thirty days are almost up. Isn’t this just pissing in the wind, preparing for a liquidation sale or something they cooked-up a long time ago so? WTH?
John R writes:
My car has TPMS (Tire Pressure Monitoring System). I have a set of wheels with fresh summer Sumitomos from a previous car that will fit my Sonata, but they don’t have the radio doodad in the rim. These tires barely have 500 miles on them and they are just sitting around. I want to wear them out and be done with them. Is it okay to mount them if they fit?
CNNMoney reports that GM is looking to stoke-up on its federal funding to keep the lights on (and the Segeways humming) until its June first bankruptcy filing. I mean, restructuring deadline. And the winner is. . . not the U.S. taxpayer. The General may take the U.S. Treasury Department for another $4.4b hit before Hune1, bringing its total to date to $17.8b, not including the $1b tip thrown GM’s way to help GMAC makes its eleventh-hour transition from deadbeat sub-prime lender to federally flush bank, and back. ALL of which will be written off when GM files for C11. And THEN, presumably, the feds will pony-up the debtor-in-possession financing to establish the new, “good” GM. As my father would say, how much is that boondoggle going to cost me?
Audi’s has dropped their A5 and S5 drop-tops at the New York Auto Show. As the hardtop A5 3.2 Quattro is currently sitting on my driveway, I reckon this fresh air version will be, as The Sun newspaper would say, a stunna. In terms of dynamics and comfort, the new A4 platform is a vast improvement over ye old A4’s nose heavy underpinnings. But a question: isn’t 15 seconds a long time for a cloth convertible to lower its lid? And a word of review-foreshadowing warning for perspective A5 Cab buyers: careful with that spec sheet. A faux S5 is the worst of all possible models. Which doesn’t make it horrible. Just . . . inadvisable. And you see that shot with the four people in the A5 Cabriolet? I’d like to see that with the top up. Please.
On Sunday, GM CEO Fritz Henderson went out of his way to avoid waving the American flag in his desperate attempt to sell the idea that his employer had a future building and selling cars in the US market. Well, duh. Ford, GM and Chrysler are not exactly in the best position to go all protectionist, given the huge number of parts and vehicles the ailing American automakers imports from abroad, discounting (and how) the vehicles they want to keep selling abroad. But The Detroit News boldly goes where Rick Wagoner’s clone fears to tread. All columnist Marney Rich Keenan’s “Buying American cars: It’s finally catching on” needs is an exclamation mark. [And an accompanying image that’s not a photochop.] Say it ain’t so, Joe! In this case, “Joe” is Keenan’s culture-loving brother, makes the connection between purchasing American cars and GM’s support for the arts. Which will no doubt be toast as the Presidential Task Force on Autos gets stuck in. Anyway, here come the usual suspects . . .
For years, Motown and Motown-sympathetic carmudgeons tarred and feathered the Toyota Prius for its “hybrid premium.” Other than Car Czar Maximum Bob Lutz, who never held a stance he couldn’t not defend with fact=based logic, critics of the “eco-weenie’s poseur mobile” trotted out chart after chart on the Prius’ miles per gallon, purchase price, the cost of gas and the cost of batteries; compared to, say, a Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS. Meanwhile, consumers bought the Prius—to the point where the model outsells entire GM brands (something of a mean feat). Meanwhile, the LS600h L. As my review pointed out, flipping heck! The gas – electric luxury car has one of the world’s finest engines. Not to be outdone—provided you don’t think “first in” counts—Mercedes has unveiled its first gas – electric hybrid: the S400 HYBRID (all caps all theirs).
Four days after the Indian-owned SUV maker secured a $400 million loan from the European Investment Bank to “invest in new greener technology to lower emissions during vehicle production and driving,” Land Rover journeys to New York City to reveal that it’s sticking a monster motor in its Range Rover Sport Supercharged. The new, Jag-sourced 5.0-liter force-fed lump stumps-up 510 hp and 461 lb·ft of torque, up from 390 hp and 410 lb·ft of twist. That’s enough shove to fling the 5670 lb beast from zero to sixty in a claimed 5.9 seconds. Let’s hope those big ass Brembo brakes are up to snuff (so to speak). The Range Rover and Range Rover Sport’s cabins receive a few upgrades here and there (no I can’t be any more vague), maintaining the SUVs hold on “the world’s most imperious driving position” title. Saying that, I’m not convinced two mouse warts on the steering wheel (in addition to the one between the seats) is such a great idea. We’ll have a review as soon as we get our audience with the Queen’s favorite mobile throne. Meanwhile, the best sign that Indian ownership may rescue Land Rover: their clean, functional and attractive website. But does Landie really have a “Muddy Buddy” event? How . . . Spongebob.
Off-road as in not on a public road, rather than mud plugging in a Jeep Wrangler. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) is now in the bi-annual business of “reporting [non crash] injuries and fatalities involving motor vehicles not in traffic.” This year’s total: 841,000 injuries and 1747 fatalities. The Accident Reconstruction Newsletter reports the overlap between the NHTSA and the Darwin Awards: “More than half of the non crash fatalities occurred when a vehicle fell on a person who was under it or from unintentional carbon monoxide poisoning. The most common types of non crash injuries seen in emergency departments were injuries while entering or exiting a vehicle (estimated 164,000 per year), injuries from closing doors (estimated 148,000 per year) and injuries from overexertion such as while unloading cargo or pushing a disabled vehicle (estimated 88,000 per year).” Let’s drill down on the morbid stuff . . .
I had every intention of taking a Lincoln MKS for a spin. I couldn’t do it. The MKS dodging tumbleweeds in the showroom was ugly as sin and as cheap as chips. “Cheap” as in poorly designed and executed. The Monroney for Lincoln’s front wheel-drive, V6 flagship added up a bunch of numbers knocking on forty large. When I told the salesman I’d rather have two BMW E39 BMW M5s, he pointed me to the 46k-mile ’05 Lincoln LS V8 Sport busy putting flat spots on its tires. The sticker said something about $18K, but I got the distinct impression that a Salmon and some pocket lint would make her mine. But did I want her?
























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