TTAC commentator Jeevesw reminds us that The Blue Oval Boys also got the Blogging Stocks reality check, and it looks like another case of chew and screw. GM is number 7 on their list of Portfolio Killers. Ford comes in at number eight.

Despite its recent successes at negotiating new contracts and its refusal, so far, to accept government funds, when General Motors (NYSE: GM) goes into Chapter 11, Ford (NYSE:F) will have to do the same to remain competitive.

Given the ferocity of this downturn, if it didn’t accept government handouts, it would probably end up in some form of forced re-organization anyway.

Real shareholder value: zero

Chrysler’s Chief Financial Officer ended last week with an admission that a $5B “loan” from Uncle Sam may not get it through the summer. The AP [via The Detroit News] tells the tale.

Even if Chrysler LLC gets additional government loans, it could face another cash shortage in July when revenue dries up as the company shuts down its factories for two weeks to change from one model year to the next, its chief financial officer said…

Kolka wouldn’t say what would happen if the company doesn’t get further government aid, saying only that he’s not planning to run out of money…

“Following that, the next critical low point in cash is July shutdown,” he said Friday.

As TTAC commentator FredMan points out, Chrysler [via CNNMoney] spent part of this weekend backpedaling. “The $5 billion will help Chrysler work through the crucial July shutdown period when US auto makers traditionally idle their plants for up to two weeks to retool their factories, a company spokeswoman said.” Help? You’re welcome!

The mainstream media has finally discovered that America’s Motown-based automakers are in dire straits. (Was it the bailouts?) The Detroit-based automotive media are in full counter-insurgency mode, scouring the autoblogosphere for stories that say “SEE! They’re in trouble, too!” When Toyota recently secured bank financing, cries of “Bailout! Bailout!” echoed throughout the Motor City. And now Automotive News [sub] seizes on the Automotive Lease Guide’s [ALG] revised depreciation stats for proof that GM and ChryCo are not alone. “Toyota’s residuals take a dive” AN’s headline proclaims. “Not only are Toyota Division’s new-vehicle sales plunging, but so are residual values on its used cars and trucks. That is depriving Toyota of one of its best marketing tools: the healthy residuals the brand long has been able to brag about.” Uh-oh. Hang on. Context?

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At least that’s the latest media meme…

Blogging Stocks pulls no punches. The site leaves GM with a black eye, calling the company a “portfolio killer.”

This is a ridiculous company with an even more ridiculous management group. General Motors'(NYSE: GM) cars are mediocre, its union contracts are incredibly extravagant in a brutally competitive industry, and management seems to think we are still in the 1950s.

Recently, the company’s auditors raised even more concerns about the automaker’s ability to survive without more loans from the government.

GM’s own forecast assumes survival based on a car market that is larger in 2013 than it was in 2006. Yeah, right.

True shareholder value: zero

This time last year, TTAC was paying its writers $25 per blog item and $200 per editorial/review. Compared to “real” websites, it was a pittance. In absolute terms, we were spending some $14k per month feeding the beast. When the ad money started to dry up, I was forced to reduce payments to $5 and $50. Now that money’s too tight to mention, our total editorial budget is zero. Nada. Niente. Aside from and including my work as a salaryman, all the content that you read here is a labor of love. It’s important for you to know because A) Respect to all our contributors, who’ve agreed to carry on because they love writing and believe in this site’s mission and B) Our writers and commentators are, once again, on equal footing. Yes. I realize that you, our Best and Brightest, add value to this site without financial compensation. So I want to formally express my eternal thanks to both writers and commentators for putting food on my table– especially during these dark days for the industry we love. I promise to reinstate our editorial budget as soon as possible. Someday, TTAC will pay top dollar for top talent. Until then, props to all of those who use this website to tell the truth about cars.

I’ve been been having a “difference of opinion” with my step-daughter’s fifth-grade teachers. For some reason, they decided to give Sasha homework deadlines and let her sort out her own schedule. Unfortunately, no one taught her self-directed, off-site time management. Not surprisingly, except for the deadline itself, Sasha’s “planner” was empty. She had no idea how long each assignments would take. She couldn’t prioritize her work, or organize her home life. Mind you, she had goals: finish her homework, get good grades, make it to middle school. But she didn’t have a workable plan. Remind you of anyone?

That’s the annual Peach State tax on cars. So eliminating it’s a good thing, right? As someone who can’t find their way around a calculator, I depend on The Atlanta Journal Constitution to tell me if the proposed elimination of a yearly property tax on autos works is a good thing or a bad thing. Only I’ve read the article and I’m still not sure.

Backers of a state House plan to ax the annual birthday tax on cars are confident most Georgians support what they’re doing.

But the bill they passed Thursday, which replaces the current taxes on cars with a big one-time title fee, is getting mixed reviews. Gov. Sonny Perdue, who would have to sign any birthday tax legislation lawmakers approve, said Friday that parts of the plan appeared “convoluted.”

“I’m still trying to digest the purposes of that, of how it all would work,” the governor said.

Not to coin a phrase, no shit.

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As you’d probably guess (if it was in the least bit important), I’ve set up a a fair few email alerts to keep my finger on the pulse of the autoblogosphere. “Nissan” usually renders unto me four or five stories on some electric vehicle they’ll never make and a review or two of a Z car. This is the first time I’ve seen a link called “more news from your region.” While Levittown isn’t exactly my region (off by 252 miles), I was happy to see that no item is too small for Google’s news spiders. And that, for once during these dark days for the auto biz, I linked to a story with a happy ending. Of course, one wonders who in their right mind would bother reporting that they were almost the victim of a crime. And whether or not the police asked the citizen involved whether or not they take Ambien CR.

Attempted theft from vehicle

500 block Old Street Rd., Trevose, 10:30 p.m. Mon-9 a.m. Tue, entered unlocked Nissan Altima in driveway, items thrown on floor, nothing of value removed.

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

Ford Motor Co.’s compensation committee has granted CEO Alan Mulally the option to buy five million shares. Of Ford. “It’s part of our long-term incentive plan to tie compensation to the performance of the company and the performance of the shares for investors,” Ford spokesman Mark Truby told Reuters. Or wrote in a press release. Or something. Big Al’s “strike price”: $1.96. The Blue Oval’s current share price at close of play Friday (as seen on TTAC stock tracker): $2.19. “Mulally may exercise one-third of the options a year from now, two-thirds after two years and all of them by March 2012. The options expire in March 2019.” And become worthless the moment Ford files for bankruptcy. So don’t expect Alan to see C11 as a viable option—even if GM and Chrysler go through that door first. Meanwhile, Big Al scored 136,005 shares of restricted stock and took a 30 percent haircut for 2008 and 2009. Reuters forgot to mention the bottom line on that: $1.4M p.a.. But don’t worry. In ’07, Mulally’s total take home—and we’re just talking about salary for one year—was a cool $21,670,674.

Robert, I am a musician living in New York City since 1997. I have owned a car here since day one, and need one to move my drums around. Since I was a boy I’ve been pretty well obsessed with all kinds of cars, starting with my older brother’s ’68 Mustang, and it seems to just be getting worse with time. Of course I visit TTAC every day, as well as other blogs and forums, and have stacks of car magazines and books at home. My private shame is that the car I own is the beige ’99 Camry LE I bought from, ahem, my mom six years ago. In fact every car I have owned in NYC the last twelve years has been some kind of boring, base model 4-door sedan that blends into the NYC scenery like a dirty paper coffee cup on the sidewalk. With the exception of a too-short ownership of a ’71 Dodge Dart a couple years ago, my own Truth About Cars has been about as fun as getting a parking ticket. At this point, time is passing too quickly and I need to get a car to drive that doesn’t feel like putting on a wet pair of socks every day. I am asking for some advice for what you think (and maybe your colleagues) I should look for that would meet the following criteria:

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Well, he would, wouldn’t he? I mean, if Detroit was going to build a car for Scott Burgess, the 300C SRT8 would be it. Massive horsepower and . . . massive horsepower. Did I mention massive horsepower? What about massive horsepower? “The 425 horsepower instills confidence that few other engines can. Zero to 60 mph in five seconds; less than 12 seconds later and you’re cruising at 100 mph. It blasts off at lights and makes passing anything on the road as easy as stepping on the accelerator.” So, anything else then? “More importantly, for the 2009 model, engineers changed out some of the suspension to give it a smoother ride and recalibrated the antilock brakes and electronic stability program to make it even sportier. Even in the normal stability control setting, which would be the most restricting, the 300C SRT8 keeps it fun. Slam through a corner and the back end twists just enough to remind you how much fun driving can be.” Ah, power slides in a lumbering Yank tank. I’m so there! No really. Of course, no Burgess review of a car he likes would be complete without a chip on the shoulder FU to eco-weenies and Detroit haters . . .

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Fox News reports that the Presidential Task Force on Autos has hired bankruptcy lawyer Matthew Feldman of New York law firm Willkie Farr & Gallagher LLP. The Mattster will help Obama’s quango “evaluate options” for GM, Chrysler and (one assumes) Ford. According to Matty’s soon-to-be-ex-firm’s website, Feldman “recently represented investors that bid for assets in the chapter 11 cases of Dana Corporation and Performance Transportation Systems.” So, auto industry ambulance chaser it is, then. Feldman isn’t the only C11 specialist hovering overhead—I mean, waiting in the wings. I mean, advising the PTFOA et al. how best to piss away—I mean, “invest” taxpayer money in the self-inflicted Motown Meltdown. I mean . . . no. That’s exactly what I mean. Reuters [via Bertel Schmitt] reminds us that “The U.S. government has also been working with bankruptcy and restructuring lawyers at law firms Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft LLP and Sonnenschein, Nath & Rosenthal, as well as turnaround specialists at investment bank Rothschild.”