In just one short month or two, we’ll know whether Eddie Alterman will be subsumed by the don’t bite the hand that feeds borg at Car and Driver, or not. Motor Trend’s editorial boosterism is trending it towards a straight path from letterbox to circular file. Road and Track still can’t make up its mind (between simple and complex boredom). Etc. In the race to the bottom, both in terms of editorial dependence and circulation, no one wins. Of course, I have a dog in this race: us. I’m hoping that TTAC will emerge as the new Car and Driver when this adverpocalypse ends. And in just one short year or two, we’ll know. Meanwhile, we’ve got a free car mag subscription of your choice to give away, which is almost what they’re doing anyway. Anyway, FYI, it’s courtesy of subscription.com. All you have to do: in 800 words or a LOT LESS, tell us which car magazine sucks least and why. I will choose the winning comment by 9am tomorrow, based on the usual criteria: sarcasm, cynicism and general snarkiness. Oh, and again, TTAC’s overlords have put the subscription idea on ice. Thanks to you. Grazie.
Walking towards the Maserati GranTurismo S, I felt like a teenager trying not to stare at a Playmate’s breasts. While the “base” GranTurismo’s elegant lines, dignified proportions and powerful stance had captivated my attention, the S dared me not to look. I know; it’s stupid. At the ripe old age of near-50, I’m supposed to have left my spoiler infatuation with the pet rock slowly starving to death in the basement. And yet, somehow, the GranTurismo’s tail made the Maser’s design pop, blending pole position with pole dancing. Yes, well, I’d just driven the base Maserati GranTurismo and found the brakes, seats and handling wanting. So I was ready to be disappointed. If you’re jump aversive, here’s the bottom line: I was and I wasn’t.
GM intends on increasing vehicle production in the second financial quarter, from 380k to 550k. I know: it’s a major WTF moment. There is no evidence whatsoever that the U.S. new car market is headed for recovery. If anything, the opposite is true, what with home foreclosures and unemployment rising like steam from a New York City manhole. Not to mention the headline of The Detroit News story wherein this information resides: “GM Dealers Balk at Ordering New Vehicles.” The article reports that GM’s orphaned HUMMER, Saturn and Saab dealers aren’t ordering any more vehicles (duh), and current inventory levels at the other stores are, to use the old Bentley power output description, “adequate.” No wonder GM spokesman Chris Lee said “that [production] number could be adjusted.” Still, you’d kind of hope GM PR could do better than that, what with more than a decade of spinning bad news into gold (for the executives anyway). And so they do . . .
I was perusing MSNBC a short while ago, and noticed something that I thought TTAC might like to post. Ford now has a market cap four times that of GM’s. (Ford’s is 4.9 billion, GM’s is down to just over 1 billion). Ford’s stock is also now worth more than GM’s, which isn’t surprising, but hasn’t really happened before.
As Ken Elias pointed out a while back, the beginning of the end will come when GM is de-listed from the Dow and then the stock exchange. As far as life-sustaining bailouts are concerned, March 31st is the drop-dead date. A pre-pack would take longer, so . . . I bet Ken a steak dinner GM will get their/your/our money. I don’t think I’ll be picking up the tab. For the dinner.
So what if you’re a sub? Not a TTAC sub, of course, because guess what? The corporate mothership has heard your pleas and seen sense. The “sub or die” mandate has been withdrawn for the time being. More info on that tomorrow. Meanwhile, the Brits love affair with hating the cars they love continues.
Automotive News reports that GM CEO Rick Wagoner tagged-along with 69 other working stiffs to hear President Barack Obama put his entire hope-and-change spiel in a single, pre-written sentence.
“We must build this recovery on a foundation that lasts — on a 21st Century infrastructure and a green economy with lower health care costs that creates millions of new jobs and new industries; on schools that prepare our children to compete and thrive; on businesses that are free to invest in the next big idea or breakthrough discovery,” Obama said in remarks released by the White House.
Uh-oh. Isn’t that whole “next big thing” thing the thing that allowed GM to avoid making the hard decisions that would have prevented its $30 gazillion dollar call on the public purse?
As someone who lived in the UK for 18 years, I was shocked to discover that Philadelphia’s mayor is named Nutter. Michael Nutter. I’m sorry, but the chances of anyone of that name being elected to public office in The Land of Hope and Glory are less than the chances that GM and Chrysler will pay back their federal loans early. OK, ever. So, anyway, WHYY reports on Mayor Nutter’s attempts to curb a good chunk of the the city’s taxpayer-funded fleet. Literally.
The Detroit News reports that GM told the Presidential Task Force on Autos (or at least the two guys who went to Detroit on a Volt junket) that the zombie automaker won’t be needing the previously requested $2B federal “advance.” GM requested the money last month to get them to the end of this month—when they’ll need another $16.6B federal “loan.” Oh, and please note that the $16.6B—on top of the $13.4B previously loaned, not including a share of the $25B Department of Energy retooling loans, or the $1B loan to prop-up GMAC—STILL includes the $2B that GM says they don’t need. You know, now. For another couple of weeks. Did I mention GM’s $2.6B request for April? Funny how all these billions get confused in my mind. So, how come the deferral? Bad planning? No, good! “This development reflects the acceleration of GM’s company-wide cost reduction efforts as well as pro-active deferrals of spending previously anticipated in January and February,” the automaker said in a statement. So, they’re cutting they’re way to prosperity. As if.
God I hate car awards—except for ours, of course. Nine times out of ten, the fix is in. The tenth time, the methodology is Claritin clear anti-matter. Well, at least ForbesAutos isn’t making those stupid “10 Best Cars in Which To Perform a Bris” lists anymore. Anyway, here’s KBB’s most recent contribution to the genre, which names Cadillac as the Best Comfort Food—I mean, brand. And Toyota scoops the award for Least Exciting Brand That Everyone Buys Anyway Probably Because It IS So Boring (i.e., Best Value Brand). Full list after you contemplate the ability of the English language to obfuscate while pretending to offer specificity.
The 2009 Brand Image Awards, presented to the top brands in 10 categories, are based on consumer automotive perception data from Kelley Blue Book Market Research’s Brand Watch study. Brand Watch is an online brand perception tracking study tapping into 12,000+ in-market new-vehicle shoppers annually on Kelley Blue Book’s kbb.com. The highly comprehensive Brand Watch report provides a detailed look at in-market new-vehicle shoppers’ perceptions of brands, and important factors driving their purchase decisions while they are in the midst of the shopping process. The results of an entire year of Brand Watch research and consumer opinions determine the 2009 Kelley Blue Book Brand Image Award winners.
When the new MINI was born, someone in BMW’s marketing department decided to make it a caps lock affair. As I opined at thetruthaboutgrammar.com, MINI was a stupid, artsy, doomed, graphical mandate. Yes, it differentiated the Bimmer-derived MINI from the much-beloved BMC rust-bucket, Mini. But no one other than designer glasses-wearing car execs gave a damn, really. The MINI sold, and sold well, for reasons entirely unrelated to typography (one presumes). Und now we have the battery-operated MINI, which gives Munich’s marketing mavens a chance to redeem themselves. I mean, eMINI is an Apple-scented slam dunk, a move that would easily justify the original, bone-headed, all-caps affectation. But noooooo. BMW goes for MINI E. How long, pray tell. does one hold the “eee” sound at the end? Anyone remember The Man With Two Brains? Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr. MINI E is like that. Only not so funny.
Obviously, I don’t have an statistical data on Ferrari crashes. Neither, I suspect, does the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA); they don’t tend to compile stats on marques that sell in the hundreds. But as someone who spends his days floating through the autoblogosphere, I’ve noticed a number of halved Ferraris. We have the famous Enzo crash on the PCH, and now this, a fatal accident involving the mixed martial artist/TapOut clothing designer artist known as “The Mask.” So I clicked on over to wreckedexotics.com to search for more anecdotal evidence. While there are a number of Ferraris with fire-vaporized back ends (that’s where the engine is), I didn’t find a trove of demi-Ferraris. To defend my access to all those Ferrari press junkets (as if), I’ll posit that ANY car would break in two if it happened to hit something immovable side-on at a high rate of speed. In fact, it could very well be a good thing, providing you’re ahead of the fissure, as the cleaving process dissipates lethal energy. The question is, is that true?
You may recall the story wherein two swanky Lamborghini dealerships—Lamborghini of Orange County and Lamborghini of Calabasas—suddenly closed their doors. Needless to say, the collapse involved a little “creative accounting.” It can now be revealed [by the LA Times] that dealer principle, Viken Keuylian, 45, of Laguna Hills, borrowed $12M from Volkswagen Finance to personally purchase 54 examples of VW’s Italian supercars. Keuylian then spent the money, put the cars on his lot, sold them for $8,163,275 and spent that money too. Vineyard. Lotus dealership (talk about a sinkhole). Gas for HIS Lambo. The girls above. That sort of thing. Simple math reveals that the grifter liberated $20,723,589 from VW and Lambo customers. Obviously, Keuylian will soon be contemplating his crimes from a jail cell. But the big question: will VW go after his customers, demanding they pay the “real” price for their car or cars? It’s highly unlikely. But even so, VW Financial’s credibility and profitability have taken a major ding.
Followers of the Motown meltdown may have detected a strong whiff of mafioso about the whole enterprise. Did I say enterprise? That sounds a bit too industrious, even though the automakers have been working hard to turn $7 million worth of your hard-earned taxes into about $35 billion in additional bailout bucks. On the other hand, we have the term “criminal enterprise.” As in you pay me my money or I’m gonna hurt you. If you still don’t pay, I’m gonna NSFWing kill you. (Organized crime may be organized but it’s not terribly clever.) To wit [via Automotive News]:
Chrysler LLC said today it may close its plants in Canada unless it gets sufficient labor concessions as well as government aid and resolution of a tax dispute.
In case you were thinking the recent CAW agreement with GM shows the way out of that particular part of ChyrCo’s Mexican standoff (also a NAFTA member!), Co-Prez “Tommy Gun” LaSorda’s got news for you, after the jump.
TOKYO (MarketWatch) — Toyota Motor Corp. (7203.TO) plans to release a cheaper version of its Prius hybrid car later this year in a bid to compete with Honda Motor Co.’s (7267.TO) more reasonably priced Insight hybrid, the Asahi Shimbun reported Thursday. The paper said that the new Prius will be priced around Y2.05 million, whereas Toyota’s cheapest model of the fuel-efficient vehicle now sells for between Y2.3 million and Y3.4 million.
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