Talk about ROI… The Washington Post reports that General Motors and Chrysler are using $7M of their $17.4B federal “loan” to lobby for their next snootful of bailout bucks.

In the last three months of 2008, just as slumping auto sales pushed the two Detroit carmakers closer to bankruptcy, GM spent about $3.9 million on lobbying, according to a review of its most recent disclosure forms. Chrysler and its parent company, Cerberus Capital Management, reported spending about $3.4 million.

The Post forgets to account for the lobbying parity between the artist formerly known as the world’s largest automaker and the Crisis Corporation. Lest we forget, Cerberus has another huge mouth to feed at your expense: GMAC. Which received a $6B bailout and a last minute waiver of the Fed’s rules for bank incorporation. And how, pray tell, do the automakers’ owners justify using your money to get more of your money?

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U.S. News and World Report is reporting to the world the news that US car dealers are working a new angle: buy one, get one free (BOGOF). OK, a buck.

Seattle NBC-affiliate KING5 reports on one such offer from Washington’s Bill Pierre Ford. “General manger Curt Bush dreamed up the unique promotion. If you buy a super duty truck at a sticker price of $50,000, you get a Ford Focus for $1.” If the Fords don’t interest you, Pierre’s dealership network is doing the same thing with Chevrolet products. “On Pierre’s Chevy lot next door, you can buy a Tahoe and get an Aveo for $1.”

But the tactic is not unique to Washington state. Reno, Nevada CBS-affiliate  KTVN found a similar offer in their area. “At Reno Mazda-Kia, if you buy a 2008 Sorrento at full price, you can get a Spectra for $1,” they report. “The price tag for the Sorrento is about $28,000.”

We’ve seen similar reports elsewhere: Buy-one-get-one-free Dodge Rams in Florida, for instance, or an Illinois deal offering a Chrysler PT Cruiser for $1 when you buy a Chrysler Pacifica at full price.

Gee! They’re giving them away! Well, obviously not.

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Manny Lopez is Motown’s head cheerleader. So when the Managing Ed of The Detroit News‘ auto section sits down to pen an opinion piece on the Employee Free Choice Act—the Orwellian federal legislation eliminating secret ballots for unionization—you know you’re in for a good time. As Stevie Ray Vaughan was wont to croon, who do you love? “Michigan’s business environment can’t afford the Employee Free Choice Act.” So that’s it, then. I’m not quite sure how Manny can square his opposition to the legislation with his support for the United Auto Workers. But I’m all ears.

For sure, the UAW helped make workplaces safer and increased wages and benefits. But we have to carefully examine the economic impact this special interest legislation would have on Michigan.

“This could have tremendous consequences for the auto industry,” Paul Kersey, director of labor policy at the Mackinac Center for Public Policy, told me Tuesday. “And the costs could be very substantial.”

Costs. Got it. But what are they?

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Thanks for all your comments. I have read and fully considered every one, and will continue to do so as this process evolves. This is your website. While we have to to make a buck, I don’t want to screw it up. I won’t make any changes without running them by you first. And with your help, my thinking has moved from oh shit to well maybe… I don’t have much time to create a game plan that will suit us all. But I will do my level best. Keeping in mind that I am open to debate on any and all points, here are some thoughts:

* Paid comments – Many of you have suggested charging readers to access the comments section, or the ability to make comments. I’m not feeling it. The Best and Brightest ARE TTAC. I don’t want to discourage readers who want to add to our collective knowledge. By the same token, charging people for providing TTAC with content doesn’t make sense to me.

* Payment process – Must be unobtrusive, fair (no automatic roll-over) and fast. Who’d want it any other way? Donations are great, but I need reliable income.

* TTAC ‘Tude Merchandise – I’m well into this, mate. I’m going to launch some products even before we sort the rest of this NSFW out.

Two-Tier TTAC – I agree completely with all of you who’ve warned me that hiding all—or even most—of TTAC behind a wall would be suicide. As one of our commentators said, you got to give ’em a taste. The big question, perhaps the only question: what’s free and what’s pay? This is the big Kahuna. What do we do that’s worth cash money? Let’s go ahead and jump. Jump!

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Those of you who predicted that taxpayer bailouts for the auto industry would lead to a Pelosi-mobile (a.k.a. direct government interference in the types of product built) now have a poster child: the Land Rover LRX. Land Rover has just announced that Her Majesty’s Government will bestow upon the automaker a £27M grant to build “the smallest, lightest and most efficient vehicle it has ever produced.” That is, of course, ignoring the fact that Land Rover is owned by Tata Motors, a company that builds millions of vehicles that are smaller, lighter and more fuel efficient than anything Land Rover builds. And for those of you who thought the grant replaces bailout bucks . . . “The grant offer will be made available under the Government’s Grant for Business Investment scheme and is an important contribution towards the overall £400 million cost of the project. This is separate from the broader automotive support package currently being unveiled by the Government.” Still, you know, Halewood, which, the press release reminds us, employs 2000 people. By that measure, the grant represents a “downpayment” of £13,500 per worker. In the UK, these are the good old days!

It’s do or die time. Although TTAC’s site traffic continues it slow, organic growth—knocking on 1 mil uniques per month—the web-wide advertising downturn has taken its toll. Revenues have fallen by two-thirds. TTAC’s owners have looked at the books and read us the riot act. Either we replace the lost ad bucks with subscription income or that’s it: lights out. Our goal: 5000 subs at $12 per year ($1 per month) by June 1. I know: been here, didn’t do that. Before NameMedia bought TTAC, I asked our then-nascent Best and Brightest about going sub. The overwhelming response: fuhgeddaboutit [paraphrasing]. Surfers are not going to pay for something they can get for free (and don’t tell me you’re special). So what’s changed? Choice. We don’t have any. To keep the site alive, we have to make this work. How?

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Developing. Actually, not.

No, not that! Anything but that! Oh, hang on; if you’re an environmentalist, that’s a good thing, right? Less carbon in the atmos. Less congestion. (Bonus! The remaining drivers can zip about faster!) But the majority party isn’t against cars per se, are they? They just want smaller, cleaner cars. And OK, yes, lots of busses and trains and people riding them (presumably), which would, ideally, mean less cars. But we can’t really have less cars ’cause then Detroit would go out of business and working class people would get the shaft (again). I know! Maybe we could have less smaller, cleaner cars—as long as all of them were built in Detroit. By union workers. But what about the people who work for the transplants? Um . . .

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From WNEM.com: “GM Installing Automated Line At Ohio Plant, Union Agrees To Concessions To Help Ford Stay Competitive With GM, Chrysler”: 

LORDSTOWN, Ohio — Despite bankruptcy reports, GeneralMotors said it is moving forward with a $350 billion investment at its Lordstown, Ohio, plant.

The automaker will install 840 robots ahead of next year’s production of the Chevy Cruze.

Local union leaders said the project gives workers a reason for hope. About 1,100 union workers are employed at the plant.

Meanwhile, the UAW said it has finish voting Monday on concessions to help Ford.

Best. Headline. Ever. But then Canada’s Globe and Mail threw out their word mincing machine sometime around the turn of the last century. The paper shows its stones by revealing that the new deal between Generous Motors and the Canadian Auto Workers isn’t what you’d call onerous. Not by a long chalk.

The extra holidays remain intact in the new, cheaper version of GM Canada’s deal with the CAW, negotiated over the weekend. So does the child care subsidy (up to $2,400 per kid per year) and the car purchase discount (up to $2,600), which GM Canada – despite being on the brink of crisis – generously extended last spring to some 30,000 retired workers. Of course, current GM workers who think their jobs might vanish will want to hold off on buying that new GMC Sierra, to take advantage of the $35,000 vehicle voucher they would receive as part of their $100,000 restructuring allowance.

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I was wondering how to report this aerial photograph of two members of the bailout bestowing Presidential Task Force on Autos (PTFOA) returning one of Chevy’s plug-in electric/gas hybrid Volt mules to the paddock. I stumbled upon this description of the death of a black hole at WonderQuest.co. Seemed appropriate.

According to Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle, our space vacuum teems with invisible particles that flash into and out of existence like virtual fireflies.

Suppose a pair of particle-antiparticles pops into being, conveniently enough, within effective range of the black hole’s gravity.

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Automotive News [AN, sub] does an excellent job covering the industry. Most of the time, AN is an unbiased if largely toothless conduit of autoblogospherical fodder. In other words, they report, we decide. But today’s column by Editor David Sedgwick is, well, appalling. No really. I am shocked at the depths of disinformation, dissembling and, yes, dishonor to which AN and Sedgwick have sunk. “GMAC’s chief has a chance to earn his millions” begins by asking “Is Al de Molina worth $11.6 million?” The obvious answer has Will Smith written all over it: oh HELL no. Unless, of course, you’re one of the Cerberus insiders who benefitted from the Fed’s last minute rule change. You know, the one allowing GMAC to become a bank when it didn’t qualify for bank status. Oh and then there’s Uncle Sam’s $6b GMAC bailout. So yes, I guess Al de Molina is worth the big bucks to someone. Sedgwick’s column, on the other hand, isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.