The New York Post reports that Chrysler CEO Bob Nardelli “transferred a $3.8 million, four-bedroom, five-bath Los Angeles spread to his wife, Susan, on Jan. 17, 2008, according to deed records filed in Los Angeles County and recorded with the Assessor’s Office on Feb. 5, 2008.” There are only three possible reasons for this move: divorce, estate planning or a hedge (there’s that word again) against future legal action, when creditors come to call. Strangely, or not so strangely, Bob’s personal spinmeister is denying the facts of the matter. “A spokeswoman for Nardelli early today insisted the records were incorrect and no transfer took place.” The story gets curiouser and
curiouser . . . .
The Detroit News reports that GM and Chrysler are working furiously behind the scenes to extend the March 31 government deadline re: meeting the conditions of their $13.4b bridge loan to nowhere bailout buffet. Surprise! The American automakers’ inability to take responsibility for their actions may be true-to-form, but that doesn’t make it any less nauseating. Nor does the News’ coverage of the company’s weaseling, which put the “sick” in “sycophancy.” The only satisfaction to be had from this lede is the use of the word “scurrying.”
As General Motors Corp. and Chrysler LLC are scurrying to put the finishing touches on their restructuring plans due next Tuesday to the Treasury, finance and auto industry experts say submitting plans is one thing, but getting bondholders and all other parties involved in a massive restructuring to agree to those plans by the March 31 deadline seems unrealistic.
No truncated suicide doors. No SUV ride height. No gimmicks. OK, there’s a Mad Max/Fast and Furious sport button in front of the gear stick that repositions the boost earlier in the drop top’s rev range (i.e., sacrifices government pleasing mpg for power) and sharpens steering. The four pot providing said oomph is a “significantly revised” (i.e., larger air intake) version of the MINI Cooper S’ 1.6-litre turbocharged mill, the same unit found in the MINI CHALLENGE race car. GOT IT? How’s this for PR sneak: “Extra-large disc brakes paired with upgraded bright red Brembo performance callipers are supplied” [italics added]. The thirty-second MINI variant (and I don’t mean the zero to sixty time of the basest of the bast models) yields 132 hp per litre and 39.8 mpg. (Highway, downwind, windows up, a/c off, one-up, no luggage.) The hardtop version was one of the fastest things I’ve ever seen down a country road, I shit thee not. This will be a genuine hoot.
Bob Lutz was not the worst thing to happen to General Motors. He was the second worst thing, right after CEO Rick Wagoner. Lutz’ legacy will not be the critically acclaimed vehicles attached to his name: the Cadillac CTS, Buick Enclave, Chevrolet Malibu or Pontiac G8. It will be the fact that GM’s vice chairman of global product development annihilated whatever remained of GM’s brand-related equity. Bob Lutz ran General Motors into the ground.
Bloomberg reports that the rumors circulating around the autobologosphere are true: Uncle Sam “forgot” to put itself ahead of other creditors before writing $17.4b worth of “bridge loans” to Chrysler and GM. Of course, doing so would have rewritten bankruptcy law and pretty much turned the feds into something roughly akin to Chile in the copper-bottomed days of 1972. But, hey, the buffet must go on! “U.S. taxpayers currently take a backseat to prior creditors, including Citigroup Inc., JPMorgan Chase & Co. and Goldman Sachs Group Inc., according to loan agreements posted on the U.S. Treasury’s Web site.” Doh! And so the government hired the flying Cadwaladers to correct that little problem, who’ve let it be known throughout the land that “If federal officials fail to get a consensual agreement to change their position regarding repayment, they have the option to force the companies into bankruptcy as a condition of more bailout aid.” Well, they had that option all along. Anyway, what are the chances that the people holding the paper at Chrysler and GM won’t let Uncle Sam go to the head of the [they hope] theoretical queue? Actually, a lot higher than you might think . . .
GM Car Czar Bob Lutz is calling it quits at the end of the year. Or, as they like to say in the “here’s your golden parachute; see you in Aruba” RenCen echelons, Maximum Bob “will transition to a new role effective April 1, 2009, as Vice Chairman and Senior Advisor.” In other words, we still have MB to kick around until the end of the year or the end of GM, whichever comes first. GM CEO Rick Wagoner was effusive about Lutz’ contribution to the total destruction of GM’s brands—in his own entirely reserved way. “Bob Lutz was already a legendary automotive product guy when he rejoined GM in 2001,” Wagoner’s statement says. “He’s added to that by leading the creation of a string of award-winning vehicles for GM during his time here. His 46 years of experience in the global automotive business have been invaluable to us.” Love that “car guy” stuff. Now, for some more accountant-friendly info . . .
A US Department of Transportation study released last month shows that thousands of Americans (documented or otherwise) are injured or killed each year in vehicle-related accidents unrelated to driving. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) “Not in Traffic Surveillance – 2007 Highlights” study reveals that a total of of 1747 fatalities and 841k injuries were attributed to non-traffic crashes and non-crash incidents. The agency compiled the annual estimates to provide the first-ever look at the magnitude of accidents that cannot be resolved with a new law enforced with traffic citations. Among the findings: 168 individuals are killed each year by falling vehicles. Another 88 peg it by falling out of a car. Electric windows reduce the gene pool by five unlucky souls, and three die while locked in the trunk. About 22 percent of injuries are caused while entering or exiting a vehicle. Twenty percent of injuries are caused by car doors. Some 10k end up in ER after getting jiggy with jacks or hoists. The NHTSA compiled the information from a number of sources including police reports, hospital records and an injury database maintained by the Consumer Product Safety Commission.
“In the true spirit of the Ferrari racing team, the Acer Ferrari 1200 notebook combines powerful performance and extreme portability with the excellence of design. From the choice of materials to the smallest detail, the Ferrari 1200 conveys the look and feel of a F1 racecar. The carbon-fibre cover, a material actually used in racecars, is lighter yet stronger than magnesium alloy, making the Ferrari 1200 the perfect travel companion. Unique ventilation design echoes the exhaust pipes of F1 cars and the anodized-metal touchpad resembles the brake and acceleration pedals ofa Ferrari car. A tasteful wave pattern embellishes the cover, while the soft-touch coating and the velvety texture of the interior ensure ergonomic comfort.” See? Now that’s funny. [thanks to Autoblog, without whom we’d know nothing of bodacious auto-brandation]
Last Thanksgiving, I took my step-daughter to the GM “Test Track” at Disney World. When we walked up to the heavy steel door, the ride was “temporarily closed” for “technical reasons.” We waited. The ride reopened twenty minutes later. We were cattle herded through a chain link channel, passing various displays designed to educate guests about automotive development: air bags, door longevity, etc. The ten-year-old displays were worn, dated and dusty. There was no branding anywhere; no mention of Buick, Chevrolet, Pontiac, GMC, Saturn, Saab, Cadillac or HUMMER. When we got to the acoustic chamber, the ride broke. Not good: the chamber lacked ventilation. People started leaving the line after 20 minutes. Just before the ride, a short video (on a small TV) extolled the joys of ABS—for a Chevy Trailblazer.
TTAC proof reader and Editor Jeff Puthoff has been helping me chase down the Chrysler – Cerberus story, trying to identify the automaker’s secret co-investors. In the midst of that pursuit, Jeff has unearthed this heretofore unreported document: “U.S. Motor Vehicle Industry: Federal Financial Assistance and Restructuring” Dec. 3. 2008 (Prepared for Members and Committees of Congress).” The Congressional Research Service (CRS) drafted the report for elected representatives contemplating whether or not to loan Chrysler and GM money to prevent their bankruptcy. The U.S. Senate and House of Representatives eventually failed to create a bill to fund the loans (though not for lack of trying). Then-president Bush stepped in at the eleventh hour and provided $17.4 worth of federal loans, by stretching the provisions of the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP). There are some startling– and not so startling– insights.
Say I order a pickup truck from the Chrysler mothership: an ’09 Dodge Mega Cab Cummins 4×4. MSRP: $59k. Invoice: $53k. Hold back: $2,400. Chrysler bills my bank for invoice ($53k). My bank gets the title and pays for truck. [ED: this is also known as floor-planning or flooring.] I take delivery of the truck, I sell the truck. Two weeks later, my floor-planning bank transfers the funds to Chrysler. First, I have to pay off the flooring liability: the Ram’s invoice price ($53k). Then I wait for the factory rebate money. That’s why it costs so much to operate a franchise dealership: the operating capital requirment is huge. We are fronting the manufacturer’s cash flow by overpaying for the units when we (the dealer) buy them from factory.
Just kidding. It’s a safety car thingie used to test collision avoidance without having to repair hundreds of rear bumpers. Although that would certainly give a bunch of Ford’s idled UAW workers something constructive to do. You do know I mean the car on the right, yes? Good. Quick! What’s the name of the one on the left, MKS, MKZ, MKT, MKWTF, MKLOL or MKF? Other than that, I got nothing. Hat-wearing Detroit News cheerleader Scott Burgess, on the other hand, has a whole article on FoMoCo’s new, automatic, stop-you-from-crashing-into-shit-when-you-get-old-enough-to-mistake-a-blinged-out-Fusion-for-a-genuine-luxury-car technology. And a video! The fact that we’ve already seen this techno-geekfest via Volvo seems to have slipped his mind. That’s understandable. Volvo has fallen off just about everybody’s radar these days. Still, its sad to see The Blue Oval Boys usurp the Swedes’ unique selling point for a car as sad as the MK… wait, don’t tell me…
As regular readers know, The Truth About Cars is working hard to try to find out who owns Chrysler—now that [ex] President Bush has provided $3b worth of no to low-interest loans to the technically bankrupt automaker. And now that this selfsame beneficiary of our government’s largess is looking for another $4b loan. And the rest. In our pursuit of this information, we are aided by members of our Best and Brightest who also believe that we should know exactly whom we are subsidizing. Are they the “retirees, teachers, municipal workers and ordinary citizens” that Cerberus claims? Or are the 100 or so unnamed investors members of hedge funds, perhaps from abroad?
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