A friend of mine just bought a brand new Dodge Ram (V8, power windows/locks, crew cab, 6-speed stick) truck for $16,000 from a local dealer. I thought the 50% savings was only on single cab, V6 strippers. Turns out, this truck was a leftover 2007 model. (not 2008)  We pulled about 2 ft of string wrapped inside the pivot point in the side view mirror.  This rig obviously had many, many balloons tied to its mirror as it waited for a new owner.  The new owner wisely insisted the fluids get changed before he took delivery of the truck.  Which brings me to this picture: I’ve been driving by another Chrysler dealership since March and the scene has not changed. (I took this picture on Tuesday)  There must be over 30 Crossfires, always sitting on the front row. I believe they stopped making Crossfires over a year ago. Maybe this isn’t newsworthy, but there’s no better sign of the times than these two outsider recent snapshots into Chrysler’s miserable sales.

There’s nothing like matching wits with the sweepers in a car that normally fears a bend in the road. Unless you own the well engineered underpinnings of a Porsche, Corvette, BMW or a handful of less obvious winners sporting a bona fide performance suspension from the factory, that is. For the rest of us, there are after market alternatives that allow loyalists to keep their current rides (and monthly payment) and let the inner Pistonhead shine in all its glory. With this in mind, start with better tires, and then take a look at your sway bars.

With waning interest in full-size pickups, all the major players have hit the market with a resounding thud. While the dee-luxe apartment in the sky is safe and clear for GM and Ford’s power players, the squeeze play can take the pie away from lesser-known trucks: those that do less, but cost more than expected. That said, now’s not a good time to be the mid-size Dodge Dakota.

A note to TTAC’s Best and Brightest: if this comparo sounds oddly familiar, that’s because something stinks. But it’s not the husky, malodorous adhesives wafting from the pleather-wrapped Hyundai Veracuz. Nor is it the you-gotta-be-kidding me popularity of a premium-priced Toyota Camry sitting on stilts. The funk comes from mentioning both in the same breath. But I swear on the effeminate grille of a B9 Tribeca that I’ve never read a certain Motor Trend review elucidating this very notion. Fair enough?

The Ford GT was a bolt from the Blue Oval: a 500-horsepower, mid-engined, retro-styled supercar designed to celebrate Ford’s Centennial. From a marketing point of view, FoMoCo’s $140k “budget supercar” was doomed from the start. After three years and 4038 examples, the Ford GT was done. But its admirers were just getting stated, adding style, horsepower and handling to an already whacked whip. This one has a Whipplecharger.

Rumor has it there is a Datsun Z-car at the 24 Hours of LeMons that’s cheating like a mother–well you know.  During yesterday’s test and tune event at Motorsport Ranch, the TTAC LeMons entry was screaming down the straights and cutting corners with a bit too much perfection.  Which goes over as well ’round these parts as Farago asking Maximum Bob about his golden parachute at a GM media forum.  But you won’t see TTAC’s Lemons car in trouble: I made sure of that. While the team, Mad Cow Motorsportz put together a fantastic race hooptie, we also bribe like the Jack Abramoff of crap cars.  And our beloved judges, our own Johnny Lieberman and Jalopnik’s Murilee Martin, get it.  Literally.  Sure we got a hot motor that’s much too gutsy, but we made no bones about our mad parts swapping skills with a (dearly departed) 280ZX.  Don’t like the coilover shocks at all four corners?  Tough, we bought them at a automotive silent auction/charity for $40 and have the receipt to prove it.  Which doesn’t mean shit if you don’t put your money where your mouth is.  (more after the jump).

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History records an era when a Cadillac was a no-compromise choice for well-heeled individuals seeking perfection. I remember the original import-fighting Seville’s refreshing blend of global proportions with acres of unabashed Cadillac style. What followed—neglect and shameless down market downplays– left Cadillac oblivious to its former “Standard of the World” designation. So it’s no surprise that the latest STS, nee Seville, doesn’t deserve to wear the crested wreath.

In true Colbert Report fashion, a “tip of the hat” to the General Motor’s spinmeisters for letting GM Car Czar Bob Lutz walk into the lion’s den, knowing full well Colbert would make him look like an idiot. Mission accomplished. For example, Mr. Colbert pushed Maximum Bob on his stance on global warming, forcing the winner of our annual Bob  Lutz Award to claim the Volt was for people interested in operating “cost per mile,” not the environment. Bob’s request for a change of subject was far from elegant (somebody help me, please!). Although Colbert managed to make Lutz look tongue-tied, nervous and shifty– only one of which you’ll see in person– the interview never got to the heart of the matter. So a “wag of the finger” to Stephen Colbert for not asking the obvious questions: is the Volt currently for sale? How much?  Does GM have the financial liquidity to make it happen? On that note, Mr. Colbert should take a gander at GM’s market share slide before suggesting (however saracastically) that Lutz should take over the U.S. financial system (shiver). And to think I once compared Stephen Colbert’s passion for truth to the honest goodness of a Ford Ranger. Fake news should be ashamed of themselves.

Sometimes being a Pistonhead isn’t that wonderful. I’ve spent the last 24 hours securing or moving fourteen cherished automobiles to higher ground before Hurricane Ike hits the city of Houston.  Its been crazy: one dead battery with an even deader alternator, a  bleeding heater core and several trips to an elevated parking garage. By Thursday night,  I had a (poorly chosen) escape pod for my evacuation: a 1972 Continental Mark IV. But, after a months-long slumber, I fired up the triple-black beauty and it instantly idled like a new car. Too bad I didn’t plan on the Mark’s quarter tank of gas. Or an eighth, depending on how cranky the gauge acted when you came to a stop. I waited in feed lines with SUVs, compacts, pickups and crossovers only to have pumps run dry, which was more than a little terrifying given the big Lincoln’s OPEC-inspired heyday. Can I make it to the suburbs on congested roads, in a 7.5 liter Lincoln that gets 9 MPG on a good day? Thankfully, there was no traffic this morning, so I gently wafted to safer territory on the Mark IV’s reassuring haunches. It was a throughly relaxing ride. And now I’m ready for this damn storm.

There was a time when a muscle car’s only traction control was in your right foot; when the human utricle and saccule were the world’s finest yaw sensors. Sadly, those days are gone forever. Yes, but… Let's get one thing straight. The original Challenger was no muscle car. And when Dodge’s pony car performance met (and lost to) emissions controls and fuel economy, the little demon turned into a compact luxury coupe of questionable Mitsubishi heritage. Fast forward to the frenzied pace of the Barrett-Jackson Pimp-O-Rama and the next logical iteration was obvious: the Challenger is now a true Muscle Car.

One of the cornerstones of TTAC's existence is reminding the auto industry that "those who don't learn from the mistakes of the past are destined to repeat them."  As a corollary we can say that learning from history's successes forms part of the recipe for a flat-out victory in today's highly segmented, price sensitive market.  We have seen almost two decades since the boring sheetmetal of the Lexus LS400 hit our shores, forever changing the way we think about luxury cars. Fast forwarding along that school of thought brings us to the new, V8-powered, Hyundai Genesis 4.6.

First the Ranger gets a new lease on life and now the Crown Victoria Police Interceptor follows suit. According to a Ford-issued memorandum via its "Government Sales Manager", the loyal soldier that's financed Dearborn's D3-bodied crater is confirmed for production until 2011. According to the release (via Police Fleet Manager ) the "new" Interceptor gets standard power adjustable pedals and seat-mounted head airbags. Looks like Ford found a way around the curtain airbags, keeping bad guys locked away in the back seat with the cop's noggin still protected in a side impact or rollover. Besides getting the ancient Panther Platform to comply with the mandatory head protection requirements, maybe Mullaly and Co. actually believe in process improvement. Or not. Our own RobertSD knows the way Fordward is with a new global RWD platform now set for a 2012 release. For its sake, it better be a brick shithouse, cause its got some mighty big shoes to fill.

You know Houston is a town riding high on oil revenue when the local Lamborghini dealer invites members of the media to gawk at their latest inventory. Seeing the LP560 up close and personal and getting my fingerprints (oops!) on the Reventón was fun. And it turns out that Lamborghini Houston is the world's volume leader for the Reventón, cornering 20 percent of market. So they're stacking 'em deep and selling 'em cheap? Not at $2.5m they're not. The Gallardo is a different story: Lamborghini is reacting to market changes faster than anyone expected. Without the restrictive "list" of their Maranello counterparts, Lamborghini faces a glut of '08 Gallardos languishing on dealer lots. The days of easy money are gone, and used Gallardos' resale value keeps new car demand low. So the Raging Bull now only produces LP560s after customers buy them and keeps costs to a minimum with a fancy-schmancy IT infrastructure. (Thanks, Audi!) The customer specs their Lambo via plasma screen in the dealership's ritzy lounge, and the money saved goes to customer-grabbing promotions like shows and racetrack events. And unlike the tsunami of Tundras threatening Toyota's sales numbers, nobody in Bologna fears underproduction. That's just more time for the craftsmanship, baby.

I think the Pistonhead's natural enemy is the home owner's association. There's no overnight curbside parking, no car covers and  zero chance of enjoying the suburban lifestyle while keeping your  toys. Then again, their rules and egos worked to our favor: our  team, Mad Cow Motorsportz, now has a power player in the 24 hours of  LeMons. Troy Hogan, our chief PITA fearless leader, got smacked with a home owner's complaint letter, forcing him to remove his (hidden in the weeds) 1973 Datsun 240Z. Troy is attached to that rotting hulk of crap, so we dashed the Lincoln LSC's racing dreams.  Now the Z goes in for major cancer  resection (with a mandatory roll cage) and we get another Craigslist sweetheart: a 1983 Datsun 280ZX for the tidy sum of $150. The 240Z shall be healthier with the ZX's bigger long block and beefier  brakes. Amazingly, the switch to a basket-case 240Z made fiscal  sense: we underestimated the ZX's valuable componentry and astounding  $118 crush value at the local scrap-heap. So don't worry Capt. Mike, we'll do you proud in H-town.

This website has long argued that automakers should spend the majority of their resources nurturing existing autos. Introducing new models on a regular basis, constantly reinventing the wheel to follow fads and fashion, is an inherently expensive and dangerous game. Nissan's 350Z proves the point. It's a four-wheeled personification of not fixing what isn't broken. Better yet, it's a proper Nissan sports car at a price that shames the Ebay-adjusted, oversexed GT-R. Thankfully, the Z is still crazy after all these years.