Selling an SUV in today’s market is financial suicide. Residual values have dropped by double digits— and that was just last week. Buyers who somehow managed to complete the SUV exodus better watch out for the next auto da fe: fully-loaded versions of entry-level whips. Expect a serious depreciation hit for these luxury econoboxes at trade-in time. Still, checking the options list wisely works wonders for your driving pleasure. To wit: the lame duck Ford Focus.

During the first energy crisis, pundits predicted the death of the American V8. In those dark days (as opposed to these dark days), Detroit was desperate to supply an alternative to the gas-gargling engines they'd planted under the hood anything that moved. They developed a few dogs promising V8 performance with the economy of a cylindrically-challenged motor, with much talk of mechanical miracles to follow. History repeats itself; Ford is once again trying their luck with EcoBoost turbo-four technology. Once again, they could be barking up the wrong tree.  

Detroit's engineering mules are often spared from the crusher, reborn to teach engineering students in leading universities across the country. During my (short) stint with Mechanical Engineering, pre-production iterations of GM's famous small block V8s were at my disposal. Whatever. That wasn't shit compared to what's tucked away in a lonely basement of the famous Kettering University in Flint, MI: a GM EV1. It was there as of last May, and it was blockaded by a bunch of crap, so it's not leaving any time soon. It looks like the Posner-approved machine's supposed death has been somewhat exaggerated. And good ideas never die. They just gather dust.

There's been much ado about GM's quiet launch of the 36mpg iteration of the Chevy Cobalt, both in the autoblogosphere and in promotional, warm-n-fuzzy TV spots (much like the  made-of-unobtanioum Chevy Volt). But the XFE isn't listed on the  "Shopping Tools" portion of the Cobalt microsite, nor on gm.com's "Find A Vehicle [any vehicle]" page. So I rang-up a friendly Chevy dealer who was embarrassed by his XFE-gnorance. Once he appreciated the model's existence, he said he didn't have any, there were none in Houston, and there was zero product information. "That must be a 2009 model," he countered. When I mentioned the XFE's web page on the 2008 Chevy website (sans XFE photos, BTW), there was a brief  pause. "They don't give us information as quickly you can get it." Well that sucks.

There I was cutting, clipping and carving corners in the ultimate Porsche 911, balancing the need for speed with self-control. I felt like an Olympic skier or Iron Chef. But there was an element missing from the GT2 experience, a deficiency that niggled like a loose ski boot or a nicked Shun Santoku. Torque. As in instant-on shove. Porsche's brilliant 3.6-liter boxer engine has too much boost and not enough low-end grunt. But isn't perfection standard in a Porsche, especially for one that costs $197,000?

We hear reports that Mazda is fueling its growth by stocking American rental companies with product. Normally, this sales strategy is a sure way to run a brand into the ground; to ensure that factories build The Least Objectionable Automobile rather than something inherently worthwhile. Not in this case. In fact, you could say that Ford's Japanese partner has created the world largest, perhaps best demo fleet for the four-cylinder Mazda6i. If you have a choice, make it your default option.

If there's two things a LeMons racing team needs, it's a catchy (but stupid) name and a valuable parts car. Thanks to Troy Hogan, our crew's chief lunatic, team "Mad Cow Motorsportz" has a Thunderbird Turbo snagged from the lonely pages of Craigslist. Just what we need– another hunk of shit Fox body, right? Not! This $250 purchase paid for itself immediately, since the Miami Vice-ish Enkeis and rear discs are wet dream material for 5.0 Mustangers in Members Only jackets. And someone else wants the low-mile turbo'd mill for their four-banger Ranger. So yes, what was once a C/D 10 Best winner still has the juice. And its coil springs, sway bars and manual transmission goodies help the Hot Rod Lincoln come to life in grand style. Yet I pity the turbo-chicken; its first owner thinks his pride and joy deserves a full restoration. No dice, but now we know that one man's trash can also be his treasure.

Torque and towing aside, I am a diesel skeptic. These Interstate soot-belchers are on par with the jerk that pulls his finger and farts in a crowded room, laughing at everyone in his wake. And now that the good oil is far north of $4 a gallon, I feel truly vindicated. Or not. That's because my girlfriend needs a new whip, and her ultra-clean 2006 Jetta TDI took a serious depreciation hit. Not buying it? Neither is Carmax, to the tune of $2125 less than KBB's trade in value, over $2800 less than Edmunds. The No-haggle Superstore's appraisal said it all in two words, the "market conditions" are a changing. Sure, this ain't no Carter-era diesel Cutlass, but Jettas aimed at enviro-friendly gas savers just met the cruel reality of history repeating itself.

Until now, TTAC has only reviewed new cars. Due to popular demand, we've decided to experiment with reviews of pre-loved automobiles. This raises some important questions. Should we compare the used car to its contemporaries, its latter-day incarnation or an equivalent-priced new car? Or should we just review it "as is" and let TTAC's Best and Brightest hash out those issues in the comments section? As the Brits say, we're going to suck it and see, beginning with Sajeev's review of a Lingenfelter-modified 1990 ZR-1 Corvette.

Rockabilly's in my blood and somewhere the late, great Charlie Ryan is smiling down on us. Man, they won't know what hit them, 'cause that Lincoln body makes it "look like a pup." Its true, after scoring a wrecked 1995 Mustang GT in the junkyard.  And why not? This pacified Pony Car had the perfect upgrade for a Hot Rod Lincoln eager to stomp on a certain Audi 4000 run by Captain Mike Solowiow: a Tremec T-5 transmission. And yes Mr. Lieberman, its true! V8 Volvos shake in fear, as Dearborn's finest offers a Fox body slushbox conversion sans the (LeMons crippling) cost of a new driveshaft. The price of such pleasure?  All of $65 at Pick-A-Part's half price sale, including a decent flywheel, clutch and cables. And it's precisely why you'll rarely see me shoe shopping, but I'm always down for a boneyard run.

Unique Performance was known for replicating the quasi-classic "Eleanor" Mustang movie car from retro-remake of Gone in 60 Seconds blockbuster, with Carrol Shelby and Chip Foose as partners in crime. Literally (well almost, they both bailed when the bailing was good). Unique got busted for tampering with the VIN numbers of Detroit's finest, and selling "futures" on Mustangs they had no intention of resto-modding and, worst of all, building cars with buckets of Bondo. As the criminal trials proceed, the company's assets are now on the block. It's a Strip 'N Flip job that'd bring a tear to Cerberus' eye, offering everything from $20 refrigerators to an "I'm an upstanding citizen" bulletproof AMG Benz for $8200. Unique's remaining not-ready-for primer-time vehicles will be sold "as is, where is, without warranties." 

As a member of Gen X's muscle car faithful, I hate seeing Reagan-era hot rods victimized by a previous owner's neglect. And our Lincoln's easily subverted air suspension is Exhibit A: mangled air hoses and missing front springs. It's a LeMon Head's worse nightmare, and finding a reliable (i.e. not cracked) pair of air bladders on the cheap ain't no picnic. So is a Fox-tastic conversion to boneyard T-bird coils in the future? Not a bad idea, after I address that crushed radiator support. (At least one of the Lincoln's problems is solved by the ubiquitous BFH.) But still, the well-worn 5.0 purrs like a kitten at idle. And stabbing the throttle brings howls reminiscent of a three-headed dog at the gates of Hades. This is way too much fun.

It happened innocently enough: an email about 24 Hours of LeMons visiting my favorite stomping ground, Houston's Motorsport Ranch. After securing the blessings of The Powers That Be, TTAC got the green light to play down and dirty. What else would I do with an overabundance (yeah right) of free time and a $75 Lincoln LSC originally bought for parts? Take a page from Cerberus: strip and flip that bitch! Everyone knows the 5.0L powered Lincoln is the Rich Man's Mustang, but only if it sheds luxuries for a curb weight of 3300lbs or less. Hell, the Recaro-esque seats are 75lbs heavier than a Mustang! And just like ye olde 5.0 Pony, its 225hp makes for a strong beater on MSR Houston's straights, with 300lb-ft of torque for quick apex exits and ABS intervention when needed. With the Fox Body's Lego-like parts interchangeability, plenty of local junkyards and a friend with mad welding (i.e. roll cage) skills, this could very well happen. TTAC is ready to do battle. Watch this space!

So, where were we? Right. After a bit of the usual FoMoCo stonewalling, Ford recalled almost 11 million vehicles (beginning with the 1992 model year) to repair fire hazard flaws in their cruise control and anti-lock braking systems. More specifically, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) determined that the fuel rail cross-over hose in said vehicles may crack, which could cause a fuel leak. Consumeraffairs.com quotes NHTSA: “Fuel leakage in the presence of an ignition source could result in a fire." (Ya think?) And now The Blue Oval Boyz are back for round two, fixing the fix that didn't fix the problem. "Safety Recall 08S01" tells owners of 225k supposedly fire-proofed Fords that their rides "may have been repaired using a fused Jumper Harness containing circuit polarity that is not compatible with your vehicle."  In bullshit free form, please? My circuits (and lincolnsonline) tell me that this recall added a fuse to the ground wire, not the "hot" power wire. Oops. Oh, and another 57k vehicles have been added to the original recall. Meanwhile, CNNMoney reports that NHTSA has opened an investigation into similar fires involving a brace of 2007 model year Chevrolet Tahoes. If this turns out badly for GM, they're looking at a recall encompassing at least 400k vehicles. 

Thanks to John Steinbeck and Nat King Cole, Route 66 is an American icon. But Highway 77 in South Texas gives "kicks" of the international kind. As this highway winds down Mexico way, we find neglected and discarded compact trucks in pairs, towing their belittled brothers to a new life south of the Border.  And while America's insatiable demand for new product continues apace, Highway 77 speaks to a silent majority who favors cheaper and smaller vehicles.  It's the spiritual home of the Ford Ranger.