Press releases aren't supposed to be funny, but occasionally, one comes out that you can't help but laugh at, either for the product it's promoting, the way it attempts to make it sound unique, or both. Case in point: Toyota's release describing the "Design Ins and Outs of the 2009 Toyota Venza." Having seen pictures of this bastard child of a Camry and an Aztek, I think it would be better described as the "Design Do's and Don'ts," with emphasis on the don'ts. They struggle to find a way to describe it, settling on "not an SUV, not a wagon, not a coupe and not a sedan." So what the Hell is it? They say it "incorporates SUV utility and roominess, while maintaining passenger car essentials, such as ease of ingress/egress, performance, a lower, sleek side profile with aerodynamic lines." Uh… doesn't that pretty much describe a station wagon? Anyway, the design incorporates "Toyota's design philosophy, ‘Vibrant Clarity'" (which sounds like a Honda FCX with a tire out of balance) to produce "look-at-me" styling. Inside, it has a "floating…60/60 center dashboard" that makes spatially-challenged drivers and passengers "feel as if 60 percent of the space is in their personal zone."  There's more, but I'll let you read it for yourself.

Click here for PDF of press release.  

BMW was once known for the elegant simplicity of its vehicle lineup, but no more. Now the Boyz of Bayern must spend as much time imagining lifestyles and creating vehicles for them as they do developing new platforms. After all, if you can tweak a few chassis to reflect the infinitely variable lifestyle statements of postmodern life, why would you actually work on making your model line more broadly diverse? You wouldn't if you like profit like BMW likes profit. Accordingly, Auto Motor und Sport has spy photos of the latest BMW why-mobile, the "Progressive Activity Sedan" or PAS. What exactly are we looking at under the black camouflage? A fastback version of the five series, which will offer four-door coupe looks with better rear-seat room than say, a Mercedes CLS. Sound familiar? That's because it basically takes the X6 formula and plops it on the next-generation five series. Within a year or so of the PAS's 2009 launch (no word yet on American availability), BMW will sport no fewer than four four-door utes (X1, X3, X5, X6) and five four-door sedans (1, 3, 5, 7, and PAS series) in its European market lineup. In fact, Bimmer nearly went for a tenth model, the X7 (hilariously imagined as an extended model here), but AM und S says that it's been canceled. And if you think Norbert Reithofer's decision to can the X7 means BMW is aware of its bloated four-door lineup, think again. The weak dollar and high gas prices get all the blame. And shopping for a four-door BMW just got a tiny, tiny bit easier.

Volkswagen's newest Golf debuts at the Paris Auto Show in a few months.  Ahead of that blessed event, unofficially official images are surfacing around the web. Motor Authority has assembled the "leaked" images for your perusal, but there's not much to see. From the outside, the new Golf retains much of its previous form, with Scirocco-inspired headlights providing the only major contrast with the outgoing model. The Golf's taillights have also been refreshed. Although the whole shape seems lighter and more crisply styled, its bland visage and vacant gaze suggest a lobotomized Mk. V; while the rest of the car suggests… well, a regular Mk. V. If you've been obsessing over the new (Euro market-only) Scirocco for months, you'll probably love the Golf's new looks, and notice subtle similarities between the two. But as the Scirocco won't challenge the GTI for the hearts of American VW fanboys, most shoppers will probably think the Golf just got uglier. Which, until we see it in the steel, we're afraid to say it has.

Nothing in Chrysler's dated portfolio needs attention more than its Camcord-fighting D-segment offerings, the Avenger/Sebring. The March departure of the lead on the Avengbring replacement didn't bode well. Motor Trend now reports that Project D is heading for disaster, gobbling-up huge engineering and design resources. Chrysler's in crisis mode. Option one: an all-new platform. No money. No way. Option two: deploy an existing chassis (e.g.  Nissan's Altima) and wrap it in new sheetmetal. Option C: rip off another automaker's work wholesale, a la VW Routan. Needless to say, these cop-out options will do nothing to improve Chrysler's rep for mediocre products. Then again a badge-engineered Altima might be better than what Chrysler can cobble together on a shoestring. Either way, with Project D seemingly doomed to mediocrity, what else can keep Chrysler alive? Hybrid minivans? Cherys? Government bailouts? Not good. 

Autocar UK reports that Fiat's performance brand Abarth is developing a mid-engined sports car. The restyled next gen Lotus Elise will feature a next gen Fiat turbo-charged, direct-injection, air-valve four-cylinder engine with 240hp. So, where are we? Lotus makes several Elise variants, from the Exige (racer) to the Europa (chiropractor's best friend). The Elise also underpins Rinnspeed's sQuba, Tesla's Roadster and Vauxhall/Opel's VX220/Speedster. Meanwhile, Lotus is delaying the release of a new Esprit. Does this mean Hethel's shortchanging its own models to work on its 340 development projects for 147 clients? Hey, you can't argue with $4m profit– especially after years of losses. And with a zingy Italian engine, the Elise-based sportster could ascend from the perfect to the sublime. You know; if you can get in.

The Flex was supposed to be a big deal for Ford's downsizing SUV clientèle. But with production already stopped at Oaksville due to slow sales, the Flex is in deep doodoo. And now, Ford is announcing that the designer of the Flex is stepping down. Automotive News (sub req'd) couldn't get a straight answer from Ford as to why Richard Gresens has left the company, but there's basically two possibilities. One is that he's just another white collar statistic in Ford's war on salary costs, the other is that the Flex was as aerodynamic as a brick shithouse and its weak fuel economy is responsible for poor sales. Since nobody at Ford likely imagined that folks would be willing to downsize to the point where a 17/24 EPA-rated crossover is just not efficient enough, let's hope that Gresens isn't taking the fall for a whole company's worth of poor planning. Although given how auto biz politics work, we wouldn't be surprised. Meanwhile, Ford's vow to slice 15 percent of its salaried workforce is the perfect cover for corporate scapegoating.

Remember how an Italian court recently banned Great Wall's GWPeri from sale in Europe for too closely resembling Fiat's Panda? Well, the Shijiazhuang Intermediate People's Court sees things more… sympathetically. Fiat had sued Great Wall in China as well as Europe. But the legal battle has been lost on the eastern front. Reuters reports that the Chinese court dismissed patent infringement claims against Great Wall, ordering Fiat to pay $1,290 in court fees. Fiat is "evaluating its options" (read: figuring out who to bribe), posing petulantly for the press. "We acknowledge the Chinese court decision notwithstanding we point out that it goes on the opposite avenue vis-a-vis a resolution taken on July 15 by a court in Europe on the same issue," say Fiat spokesfolks. Great Wall, on the other hand, is using this as one of those "no such thing as bad publicity" opportunities, letting everyone know that it will start selling a pickup in Italy later this year. What, you thought all that cheap labor didn't have its price?

Three years. That's how long an eight-member GM hit squad's been working on defining The General's eight North American brands. Let's start at the end of The Detroit Free Press article on Liz Wetzel's team in GM's Global Brand Studio. Pom-pom-wielding autoscribe Mark Phelan concludes "…the automaker appears to have a solid product plan and design vision for its other brands for the first time in decades." OK, now, here it is: "Buick and Cadillac owners both have money, but they choose to spend it on radically different things. A Buick owner would be inclined for a quiet vacation on an isolated beach, while Cadillac is more about dressing up for a night out on a weekend in the city. A Pontiac will be designed for the nightlife, too, but for a fashion-forward agenda with pounding bass and flashing strobes. Chevrolets aim to look good as well, but with the effortless appeal of blue jeans and a good shirt, not Pontiac's club-hopping flash. Saab sells cars around the world, so it can speak to a smaller audience: people who consider themselves independent thinkers and want a car with Scandinavian style and environmentally responsible performance. Saturn attracts buyers who wouldn't touch a Chevy or Pontiac with a 10-foot-pole and its theme will build on Opel's European strengths: design, handling, fuel efficiency and interior room." Before you ask, in GM's world, that IS a plan.

Due to the inherent constraints of an 800-word (or so) review, TTAC reviewers don't always get to say everything they want to say about a car. With an editor as, uh, tenacious as Farago, you have to beat him back with all your strength pick your battles. In my Infiniti FX50 review, I wanted to call the CUV the "ultimate wine tasting machine" (some of you may have noticed the pictures hail from Sonoma County's Russian River AVA). Think about it. The FX50 can handle as well as any sedan-on-stilts; perfect for those windy wine roads. It boasts a phalanx of electronic aids to defend against tipsy drivers, and Lane Departure Warning. [ED: I say nothing.] And just like a Mercedes S-Class, in the event of a fast-moving tree oncoming car, the FX50 will apply the brakes and snug-up your shoulder belt. The real clincher? Wine carriers fit perfectly in the cargo hold. As you can see from this photo, the ubiquitous cases are the exact same height as the FX50's parcel shelf. And whle you can't tell from the photo, the carriers' ziggurat-like top is actually at the correct angle for the kink in the back of the FX50. I can almost hear Shoemaker's synapses firing up…

Those of us old enough to remember the Kennedy/Nixon debate remember Dinah Shore encouraging us to "See the USA in your Chevrolet." Then Chevy invited us to enjoy "baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet" driving "the Heartbeat of America" as we participated in "an American Revolution." So much for flag-waving. In yesterday's press release, Chevy crows that their new Cruze– the Daewoo Optra they're going to build in Lordstown OH—  features a new "global design language" that was "developed by a global design and engineering team." They warn tell us this "new global design language… will continue to be a signature element for future vehicles carrying the gold bowtie." Let's hope they're not talking about the new schnoz they're sticking on the front of the 2009 Aveo5. Where are Bill Mitchell or Harley Earl when you need them? Oh that's right; they're dead. Never mind then.

Japan has laws mandating the size of your waistline. And now the auto companies are slimming down their cars–any way they can. Automotive News [sub] reports Nissan plans to reduce its fleet's average weight by 15 percent by 2015 (from 2005 levels). Toyota is looking for a 10 percent loss. Mazda wants to pare 220 lbs. from each of its new models. Honda's trimming down (2008 Accord notwithstanding), but hasn't publicized any goals. Automakers are doing what they can to lose weight, from using aluminum and plastic body panels to re-engineering existing components to make them lighter. For example, the next Prius' electric motor will be one-sixth as heavy as the current powerplant; the batteries will weigh half as much. Honda's even going so far as to shave off slivers of steel between spot welds on the Fit to save a few ounces overall. Adding lightness is an expensive business, but with existing safety regulations and new fuel efficiency standards, there may be no choice.

Automotive News [sub] reports that Pininfarina is building a one-off based on Rolls-Royce's unobtainable Phantom Drophead Coupe. The Pininfarina Hyperion is a stylish convertible boulevardier built for a mysteriously unnamed private collector. The Hyperion will debut at the Pebble Beach Concourse d'Elegance this August. No word on what this monument to excess will cost its lucky owner, but given the bloated price points of other Italian reskins of the latest and hottest, one can only expect a price tag that would make Croesus blush. That saidm, besides a fresh new Italian suit, the Hyperion doesn't offer anything that's not available at the Drophead's if-you-have-to-ask price of $412k. Besides envious looks at even the toniest of locales, of course. Which we can all agree is more important than mere money.

Parlare con CAR, VW design guru Walt de'Silva admits he isn't exactly thrilled about VeeDub's current design direction. Pensare? The Jetta looks like a Corolla and the Passat looks like a bar of soap. So VW’s styling will "return to simple design language that’s easy to understand – a clear hierarchy of grilles and rear-end treatment." Scribe Adam Towler says "Expect the next generation of VWs to have spiritually more in common with the late 1990s range of cars rather than the current set." For those of us that have long lamented the descent of VW into aspirations of ascent, this is fantastic news. The biggest question: where will this makeover leave the Volkswagen brand in the European market? When Ferdinand Piech decided to take VW into Mercedes territory, matching the Mercs models for model, Skoda and Seat filled VW's cheap and cheerful, honest and robust, everyday car remit. Maledetto! It sounds like someone has too many brands. 

Ford is accustomed to leaving products to die on the vine: Crown Victoria, Lincoln LS, Ranger, etc. Apparently, no more. Speaking to Automotive News [sub] about the Flex, Ford's design director Horbury found it "odd" that the design team is already working on a reworked design while the vehicle is still brand new. "To be working on the next one immediately is quite unnerving. It is strange, really." According to Horbury, the Flex's doors, greenhouse and glass are staying put; everything else is up to the designers. As those three elements are especially trick, we think this is the right kinda bold movement. And if you consider the money-making Mustang's countless iterations as mid-cycle refreshes, this type of thinking is doubly true. It sounds as if we can expect big changes, especially as Ford's internal research has shown that small changes aren't enough to bolster sales. Proof, pudding, time, tell. 

The automotive industry has long borrowed technology from the aerospace industry. Head-up displays, space frame construction, "drive by wire" controls and lightweight materials all first showed up on modern aircraft. Now BMW is turning back the clock a century or so. Just like a WWW I-era biplane, the BMW GINA Light Visionary concept car is fabric-skinned. The water-resistant material is stretched over a lightweight frame that can change its shape as you drive in a process that's visually akin to Bruce Banner's transformation into the Hulk. There are no visible gaps in the car's "body" except the door openings, the headlight covers open like cat's eyes, the taillights shine through the fabric and the engine is accessed through what looks like a surgical incision in the "hood."  In the video, designer Chris Bangle babbles on waxes eloquent about "a philosophy that says 'let's do things differently'" and "context over dogma" (whatever that means).  It's a cool concept, Chris, but enough is enough.  Why not just shut up for once and  (as you suggest) "let the material do the talking?"