TTAC used to have a writer who’d critique new car designs from the aesthetic point-of-view. Unfortunately, Carl stopped working at Starbuck’s, so I couldn’t hassle him for free coffee– I mean clean copy. So when I received an email update from Classic Driver promising a design analysis of the Porsche Panamera, I was well up for a professional’s analysis of what looks, to me, like another hideous Porsche. By the sixth paragraph, I knew Chris Hrabalek was prevaricating. And then he gets nasty, pulling rank on readers.

“Although one could hardly call the styling of the new Panamera revolutionary, neither can one accuse it of having anything but pure Porsche DNA. While it’s certain that numerous sofa-referees will judge the styling as too conservative and unimaginative, it is far removed from the Aston Martin DB9 LWB (akaAston Martin Rapide). Also, while the Panamera shares common parts with its siblings, none are too obvious. Visually, it is a far more distinct model than, say, the products of the Porsche 996/Boxster era.” Where’s the beef? “It leaves us in no doubt that, were the front badge to be removed, this car would still be readily identified as a true Porsche. It’s true that, unlike the Porsche 928, it does not take a stylistic risk.”

That’s it? Sigh. OK, over to you, TTAC’s Best and Brightest. What do you make of the new Porsche Panamera?

Red – or make that white alert! Volkswagen is planning another attack on the profitability of its dealers. They need to build yet another round of brand new showrooms. In 1995, VeeDub introduced the new architecture for their worldwide dealer network. First, a prototype was built on the grounds of the Volkswagen plant in Wolfsburg. (Embarrassingly, without some necessary permits, an oversight that was quickly fixed.) Then, “one of the largest construction projects in Volkswagen’s history was started” (says so in a book that documented that gigantic project). More than 10k VeeDub dealerships worldwide had to follow the architectural edict from Wolfsburg: “build or die.” Many dealers did both; they couldn’t stomach the high costs associated with the glass and marble palaces, and vanished. Not to be outdone, Audi started their own, totally different concept, throwing dealers further in the poorhouse, and delighting the construction trade worldwide. Now, after more than 10 years of hard work, threats and scores of dealers who made the ultimate sacrifice by bleeding to death on the altar of Corporate Identity, most VeeDub dealers, from Wolfsburg to Winnipeg, from Bratislava to Boise, Idaho, look alike. All, except one…

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TTAC called it over a year ago: diesel market share in Europe was destined to drop because of the narrowing gap in fuel consumption with the new “downsized” turbo-charged gasoline engines. And so it has come to pass. According to Auto Motor und Sport [print], oil burners’ share of the 2008 German new car market’s down to 30.6 percent, year-to-date. The fact that diesel now costs about the same as gas in Germany, due to lower taxes for diesel, also plays into the arithmetic. But the consumption numbers (ECE combined) for these two almost identically powered Golf IV versions really tell the tale: 140hp TDI – 5.4L/100km (43.56mpg); 160hp TSI – 6.0L/100km (39.2mpg). The TDI’s consumption advantage is down to a mere 10 percent. But the diesel engine costs considerably more. The 1.4 liter TSI engine, which combines a very diesel-like torque curve with smoothness and rev-ability, would make a terrific budget GTI in the new Rabbit.

Not the best metaphor for a writer (or reader) who’s feeling a bit thick-headed this AM (although I have to say, Jay, that Coppola’s Director’s Cut chardonnay is wicked pissa). Anyway… first we had Honda’s robot playing violin for the Grosse Pointe gadflies at the symphony hall. Now Toyota is expanding– as in opening not closing– a new facility in York Township. Toyota’s press release re: their new Toyota Technical Center (TTC) is full of gloating, snickering and sneering. Not. But it does feature some of the same characters we last saw sticking their noses in the federal taxpayers’ trough, rooting for bailout billions on behalf of ToMoCo’s competitors. Yes, Shigeki Terashi, TTC president, “celebrated the grand opening of its new engineering and safety testing facilities here today with Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm and U.S. Congressman John Dingell, as well as several hundred government officials, community leaders, suppliers and Toyota team members.” Those team members will now be “engaged in engineering design, prototype building, vehicle evaluation and engineering, materials engineering, powertrain tuning and design, regulatory affairs and advanced technical research. TTC has developed the Avalon, Sienna, Solara, Tundra and Venza vehicles for the North American market.” Now what?

This motor show is about hybrids, electrics, the financial meltdown, whatever you want. But what attracts the crowds, what makes the most noise (figuratively), is what always has been the best point of motor shows: exciting cars. And man, the Lamborghini four-door is exciting. It looks positively evil in matte grey, and has a stance and an attitude that is stunning. I’m not sure about the RX-8ish front, but never mind. It’s the wrong car for the wrong time, but when has the time ever been right for this kind of vehicle? It’s great that Lambo isn’t hiding behind some feeble “efficiency” greenwashery. Let plutocrats drive cars that look beautiful and special and mean, is what I say. And if you saw the new Lambo in the flesh, I think you’d agree.

Audi’s dabbled in small cars for some time. Not all of their attempts have been successful. Despite all-aluminum construction and clever packaging, the A2 was a flop. Audi is back at it, though, unveiling their A1 city car at the Paris show. Considering Audi’s proclivity for up-to-the-second trendiness, it can’t be long before they announce– and maybe even build– an EV. The model would probably share a basic platform with compact VWs, most notably the VW Up! Concept. Ingolstadt’s boffins would need to elevate the floor to provide battery space. The “service hatch” first used on the A2 could also make a comeback on the EV, especially if we consider that it makes a good place for a plug-in socket. Add some chrome and lacquer finishes, LEDs and optic fiber in the lights, some fancy wheels and there you go: small, electric, trendy and premium.

Ooooh. Ford. You ARE a tease. But hey, at least we don’t have to endure the glacially slow PR drip-feed and premature full revelation blighting the new Chevrolet Camaro. Or do we? When is the new ‘Stang set to romp into showrooms anyway? The Motor Authority reckons we’re looking at sometime late in that most magical of model years, 2010. Is it possible that Ford could mess with the numerical mojo and delay the launch (a la F-150) to clear the lots of unloved last generation ‘Stangs? In this market who knows? But while we’re speculating, the Aussie authority in these matters highlights the fact that FoMoCo’s design guy Peter “Call me Dave” Horbury’s mob have endeavored to make the new iteration look slimmer and more fuel efficient, in keeping with the temper of the times. Even though it isn’t and is. Vive la evolution!

The facelifted Audi A6 is the first of Ingolstadt’s machines to abandon conventional front indicators; instead, they’re located on the side mirrors. Other brands are set to follow suit. This is a bad, even stupid, idea. When you hold a conversation with somebody, do you look at their ears? Of course not. You look into their eyes and try to interpret their facial expression. This is hard-wired into people’s brains, so we’re pretty good at it. Cars have faces too and car makers go long ways to make them expressive and individual. Some are supposed to be cute. BMWs for the supposed benefit of [überho] prestige are supposed to look masculine. And some are unintentionally genital. But it’s not a stretch to say that all intend to be recognizable. So why make them less readable? You’re in traffic, you want to see what the other guy is going to do, so you look at his car’s front, hoping for a signal. Sure, blinking mirrors are better than no blinkers at all. But I surmise that the average driver sees them a  split-second later than he would front-mounted ones. And locating indicators on mirrors sucks anyway. They are more prone to break in normal driving conditions than fender-mounted indicators. Will you be able to get a replacement high-tech-mirror for your Audi 15 years hence? I doubt it. And some side blinkers are downright dangerous; the ones on the VW Golf glare into your peripheral vision in rainy or foggy driving conditions. Car makers should stop introducing empty styling gimmicks.

I'm keenly aware that some readers believe that I'm a spinmeister's evil twin, viewing all stories involving The General through a Death Watch prism. But I know it's possible to read this story from Automotive News [AN, sub]– detailing a shift in GM's design responsibilities from the rest of the world to Motown– as a sign that the artist formerly known as the world's largest automaker is finally rationalizing its sprawling, overlapping, inefficient infrastructure. At first, it seems that way. "We have had a couple studios where some projects have been canceled," Ed Welburn, GM's design vice president, told AN. "We have other studios that are totally overloaded. We just need to level that work around the globe." But then… GM's small-car programs are based at the Adam Opel R&D center in Germany and GM Daewoo Auto & Technology Co. in Korea. With the change, vehicles for Daewoo, Holden, Opel or Vauxhall may be styled in Michigan. So what the Hell happened to GM's "regional centers of excellence" idea? 

American automotive design creativity and imagination in Detroit died with the 1977 wrap-around rear-window Oldsmobile Toronado XSR Coupe , but it's alive and well in the Nevada desert. At the annual Burning Man gathering, mobile imaginations/hallucinations incarnated run amok and are celebrated. It's a fitting (if extreme) reaction to the ever-more predictable and imitative automotive styling rut of the times. GM Styling guru Harley Earl would have felt (and looked) right at home tooling around the sand flats in his gas-turbine powered Firebird dream-car .

If you want your brain to melt, ask a car designer to explain… anything. When it comes to torturing the English language and obfuscating meaning, these guys are the masters (these are not the Hoffmeister kinks you want). Ralph Gilles is different. Chrysler's freshly-anointed Design Chief is a man of the [Canadian] streets. OK, yes and an Art School grad. But when Ralph talked to Automotive News [sub] about his employer's new design direction (they have vehicles to design?), all we got, thankfully, was "We're done with the 'Edge' look." So it's in with "organic shapes." Like… the 300? Or those two-day-old moldering vegetables I no longer buy? I kid. Anyway, meanwhile, good luck getting that "monkey off our backs on interiors." And the following pledge (as reported by The Detroit Free Press): "With the Nissan project we're working on, we've got designers stationed there… and you'd never know it was based on a Nissan." Oops! I guess that cat's out of the bag!

The Jaguar XF was meant to be a clean sheet car for Jaguar – a reboot of the brand, to use filmmaker parlance. With that in mind, Jaguar was planning on ditching the 'Leaper' hood ornament altogether. But old habits die hard, as I observed in my local shopping mall today. Presumably, too many people said to Jaguar "But it's supposed to have a leaper on the hood." They made their bed, and now they can lie in it. It looks horrible and out of place on the XF, which is a sleek and modern car. While cars themselves and many components tend to be phallic, this is just a little too far. Even if the XF's front end is a little bland, you don't want people to immediately know it's a Jag if it's going to look silly like this. But what's most important here is the lesson in listening to customers. Sometimes, manufacturers and dealers need to just say no.

While any move to improve fuel efficiency in full-sized trucks is a move in the right direction, you have to wonder if GM's straining at gnats while swallowing camels with their latest move: XFE versions of Silverado, Sierra, Tahoe and Yukon. The press release brags the changes make them "the most aerodynamic full-size pickups in the industry." To accomplish this, they'll install a soft tonneau cover on the pickups and extend the front air dam, lower the suspension, revise the chassis tuning, use aluminum in the wheels and engine and install low rolling-resistance tires. And what's the gain for all these changes? One whole mile per gallon on both the city and highway ratings, which "reflect[s] GM's quick adaptation to an evolving market that remains a very important segment." They haven't said how much all these changes will cost, but just like with the hybrid versions. it's bound to take a while to offset the additional cost with fuel savings.

Click here for PDF of press release